Thanks for the encouraging reviews! I'm glad you all like MY story....ouch! I turn to glare at my muse, who has just kicked me in the shin. He glares back at me - his scalp is wrapped entirely in a bandage. (It was an accident, honest! There were no mallets involved! Right, Ice Princess?) Aaaanywaaays...let the insanity continue!

CHAPTER 6: And the insanity continues...

DIRECTOR (seems to have developed a rather severe eye-twitch): Alright, people! Are we absolutely finished with all the improvisations, stupidity and the caffeine-induced insanity?!

There is some shoulder shrugging and eye-rolling, but generally, everyone agrees. There is a lot of dripping from Jubilee, but everyone just ignores it.

DIRECTOR (twitch.....twitch.....twitch): Okay, then. If there aren't going to be anymore interruptions, we'll get on....yes, Bobby?

Bobby is frantically waving his hand in the air and bouncing up and down excitedly.

ICEMAN: Oh! Oh! Oh! I've got a question, Mr. Director, sir!

DIRECTOR (twitch..twitch..twitch): Yeessss, and what is it?

ICEMAN: Didn't any of the Blue's Clues guys realize that when Mr. Salt or Mr. Pepper sprinkled salt or pepper on their food, that they were actually eating salt and pepper shaker dandruff?

DIRECTOR (twitchtwitchtwitchtwitch): ......?!

Hank placed a hand on Bobby's shoulder.

BEAST: Robert, I think you had better leave the poor man alone before he bursts a blood vessel.

ICEMAN (pouting): I guess you're right.

DIRECTOR (twitchtwitch..twitch....twitch......twitch): Alright, that's better. Now, get ready to film the bathroom scene.

CYCLOPS: Hey, kids! Let's go visit our friend, Slippery Soap!

Scott and Hank once again walk in place for a few seconds, and arrive at the bathroom.

CYCLOPS: Hi, Slipp.....JEAN???!!!

Jean is relaxing in the bathtub, covered with bubbles.

BEAST: Oh, my!

WOLVERINE: Now THIS is more like it!

GAMBIT: Can Gambit be de shampoo?

ROGUE: REMYYYY!!!!

GAMBIT: Uh-oh. Au revoir, mes amis!!

Gambit bolts off the stage and out of site with Rogue hot on his heels.

JEAN: I'm wearing a bathing suit, guys! YEEESH! This is a kid's show, remember!

BEAST: Thank goodness!

WOLVERINE: Darnit.

CYCLOPS: Whew. You had me worried there for a moment, Jean.

DIRECTOR: Yeah. That's nice. NOW GET ON WITH IT!!!

CYCLOPS: Oh, yeah, right. Hi, Slippery! Do you know where the second clue is?

WOLVERINE (from off-camera): If it's in the tub, I'll help ya look for it.

DIRECTOR: It IS NOT in the TUB! Now BE QUIET or else...

WOLVERINE (*snikt*): Or else what, Bub?

DIRECTOR (meekly): Oh..er..nothing.

JEAN: Yes Steve, I know where the next clue is. But you've got to play a game to find out.

WOLVERINE (off-camera): Count me in, Red.

ICEMAN (off-camera): Oh! Oh! Can I play, too?

PROFESSOR (off-camera): I wanna play, too!

They all look at him.

PROFESSOR: What?! I'm bored!

BEAST: Please, please forgive me for saying this, professor, but I think the unanimous response to your desire to 'play' is...well...eeeeeeeeewwwwww!

PROFESSOR (sulkily): You guys get to have all the fun...

DIRECTOR: CUT! CUT!! CUT!!! THE SCENE, PEOPLE! LET'S GET IT OVER WITH! AND BLUE, QUIT TALKING!!!

BEAST: woof. (then under his breath) Fluent in over thirteen languages and all I get to say is 'woof'?

They play the game (the nature of which I'll leave up to you to decide) and learn that one of the last two clues is in the backyard. But before they make it out the door, we hear:

IT'S MAIIILLLTIIIMMMEEE!!!

CYCLOPS: It's mailtime! C'mon, Blue!

BEAST: woof.

Scott and Hank rush to the living room, where they wait for mailbox to appear. And they wait. And they wait some more.

DIRECTOR: WHERE THE HELL IS MAILBOX?!

ROGUE: Pssst! Remy! It's your turn!

GAMBIT: But Remy don' wanna sing de stupid song!

ROGUE: Jus' do it, or else!

GAMBIT: Or else what, chere?

Gambit takes one look at Rogue's blazing eyes and hustles his butt onto the stage.

GAMBIT (singing...somewhat): I de mail...I never fail...I make you wan' to wag your tail...when I come......dis be one obscene song!

JEAN: GAMBIT!!!

GAMBIT (really, really fast): ...when I come you wanna wail...MAAAIIILLLL!!!

DIRECTOR: Cut!!!!

JEAN: What's wrong?

DIRECTOR: Cyclops was supposed to be singing with him!

GAMBIT: Ain't no way Remy doin' dat again!

ROGUE (menacing tone): Gambit...

Scott and Remy re-do the song. When they're done, Scott sits down in the thinking chair. Remy tosses the envelope in Scott's face as if it were a playing card and storms off the stage.

CYCLOPS: Ouch! Oh, look boys and girls, it's a letter from our friends!

Scott proceeds to open the letter upside-down.

PROFESSOR: *It's upside-down, moron!*

CYCLOPS: Huh? Oh, yeah...

He turns it right-side up.

In the envelope, we see a bunch of kids at what looks like a birthday party. They turn to wave at us.

CHILD 1: Hey! You're not Steve!

CYCLOPS: Yes I am!

CHILD 1: No, you're not!

CHILD 2: Yeah! The real Steve doesn't look as dorky as you!

CYCLOPS: I am too...who're you calling dorky?!

CHILD 3: C'mon guys! I think X-Men is playin' on TV!

CYCLOPS: Wait a minute! I'M an X-Man...!!!

CHILD 1: Dream on, loser!

Cyclops' lower lip quivers as all the kids disappear into the house.

DIRECTOR (blinking): Hmm...THAT was unexpected...

A gust of wind knocks a party hat off the table and it falls out of the envelope and onto the floor.

KIDS: A clue! A clue!!!

CYCLOPS: sniff...sniffle...SOB!!!

KIDS: IT'S A CLUUUUUUUUEEEEE!!!!

JEAN: SCOTT!!!

CYCLOPS: But they called me a loser, Jeannie!

JEAN: Just get over it and get on with the show! I want to go home sometime before the next decade!

BEAST: I whole-heartedly concur with Jean, as I myself find the anticipation of returning home to a truckload of golden, cream-filled delights is nearly too much for me to endure!

GAMBIT: Yeah! Enough wit' de whinin' an' more wit' de talkin', homme!

WOLVERINE: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

KIDS: Yeah!!! Quit cryin' already! We wanna get home soon so we don't miss our favourite show on TV!

ALL X-MEN: Huh?! Isn't THIS your favourite show?

KIDS: What? Ya don't think we actually LIKE this show, do you? We get PAID to do this!

ICEMAN: You guys are getting paid? Man, I gotta talk to the director about this...

BEAST: I apologize, but I must interrupt this little discussion. Am I the only one who has noticed that our director-friend has not uttered a solitary syllable for the duration of this discussion?

The X-Men all turn to look at the director, who has nearly slid out of his chair and is looking pale and rather...er...um...dead.

ICEMAN: What the heck happened?!

Hank examines the man to see if he can determine the cause of death.

BEAST: It would seem that he has suffered a massive myocardial infarction.

WOLVERINE: In English?

BEAST: He had a heart attack.

ICEMAN: Gee. I wonder what could have caused that?

* * *

Oh no! The director is DEAD! How will they go on? Will the last episode of Blue's Clues ever end? Tune in next time to find out on the final chapter (Thank God!) of X-Men Get the Blues, The Sequel!! (Which will appear as soon as my muse agrees to co-operate. I'm bribing him with Twinkies as we speak...)

Acknowledgment goes out to sensor-girl for suggesting that Gambit play the role of mailbox. Apology goes out to Meeko for not using the suggestion of Gambit being the green puppy, but since green puppy wasn't in my first story, I didn't want to include him in this one. Thanks for making suggestions, though!

By the way, how did you like this chapter? Reviews are always welcome and appreciated!