Unforgettable - Part 4

##...## Indicates flashbacks

The same day, 11.00 a.m.

"So you see, Detective Summers," Giles was saying, "We need this report by
Monday - and that's the last possible date..."

Buffy nodded absentmindedly at his words, tuning out from time to time, her
eyes repeatedly flickering to Drusilla's desk outside the lieutenant's
office, her irritation growing by the second.

Angel was there with the raven-haired woman, he was sitting on the edge of
her desk, laughing from time to time, leaning forward toward her. They made
a picture perfect couple. She couldn't hear a word they were saying and it
was very likely the whole scene was completely innocent, but she couldn't
help the distinct pang of jealousy she was feeling at the sight of them so
close.

There never had been anything between Angel and his rookie four years ago
but that didn't mean it couldn't happen now. But hadn't she noticed that
Spike had shown interest in Drusilla? Angel wouldn't try to hit on his
friend's love-interest, not after what he'd been through himself. Buffy was
sure of that, if nothing else.

And why the hell did she care anyway? She had no claim on Angel Reardon,
with his deep brown eyes you wanted to drown in, his sensual mouth, the well
muscled body and... God, just shoot me, she thought. She had no right to
feel this way, she told herself firmly. Not after she'd sent him away, when
he came all but begging her to rethink her decision, not to throw their love
away and she'd told him she hadn't known a thing about love, until Riley had
come along and shown her the real thing.

Real thing, my ass, she snorted inwardly. Yes, Riley certainly had shown her
the real thing. But it hadn't been love. Far from it. As far as Riley was
concerned, love could've been a word from old Egyptian it was so foreign to
him. Jealousy, anger, bitterness. Those were more the words he was
acquainted with. And violence.

Now Angel was leaning forward and one of his hands came to lie on Drusilla's
shoulder. She had to turn away, not able to watch any longer and she started
when her gaze landed on Giles who had stopped talking and was eyeing her
closely, speculatively. "What?" she asked, trying to shake off the images
that were running wild in her head. Angel kissing Drusilla, undressing her,
making... God, maybe she was finally going to lose it. But she could still feel
his hands on her, stroking her, his voice soothing her, telling her everything
would be all right after Riley had tried to hurt her in the worst possible
way.

"I was just wondering where you were," Giles said gently, then turned his
head, nodding pointedly at Angel and Drusilla who were now laughing
wholeheartedly. "Of course it wasn't hard to figure out."

"I'm sorry," she replied, the fingers of her right hand playing with her
long, blond hair. "I seem to have problems concentrating today. Didn't sleep
well, I guess. With the upcoming divorce and all," she added.

"Yes, sure, the divorce," Giles said mildly, not hiding that he didn't
believe one word she was saying. There was no denying what was disturbing
his officer this morning. Not that he thought for one moment that Angel
Reardon was even slightly interested in Drusilla Petersen. He was too old
not to see the way Angel was looking at Buffy every time he thought she
wouldn't see.

Their love affair may have been over for a long time, but
Giles was sure the love wasn't - not by a long shot. They just came with a
lot of baggage, and regarding that fact it was a rough road they had ahead of
them. He admitted to himself that he was wrong to think that it
wouldn't be good for Buffy to see Angel again. Reassessing the situation now
he was sure it was quite the opposite. For the first time in years Buffy
looked more than just plain mentally dead.

"Yeah," the blond replied, glad he didn't insist on talking about Angel. No
way she would talk with her boss about Angel, "it's rather messy." She
inhaled deeply, "But of course this isn't something that belongs here."

"Oh, I wouldn't agree," he said, giving her a smile, "You and your
soon-to-be ex-husband are both detectives of this precinct, so maybe the
private parts of the divorce aren't my business, but if it intrudes work it
sure as hell is. He's giving you a hard time?"

She looked at him and hesitated for a moment, before she sighed, "Well, he's
just Riley I guess. I didn't realize what kind of guy he was when we got
together. And I didn't know for a while after we're married. But soon," she
sighed again. "This really isn't fun. And now he just behaves... typical, I
suppose. Don't get me wrong, I still think he's a good cop, his record is
proof of that, but... maybe, we just didn't match."

"Or the situation was wrong," Giles remarked, understanding in his eyes.
"You married him when you were very vulnerable, when you thought you'd been
betrayed by a man you thought you loved."

There was such deep knowledge in his words that Buffy shivered
involuntarily. Her own problems forgotten for the moment, she asked, "Who
was she?" Startled by her blunt question, he drew a sharp breath, and she
held up a hand, "You don't have to tell me. It's not any of my business,"
she said, smiling apologetically.

"No, it isn't," he replied, his smile incredibly sad, "It happened a long
time ago. I loved her, very much. But then I found out that she just used me
by forwarding all the things I thought were said in private to her brother
who happened to be deeply into drugs. So you see, I can relate. Only that
Angel didn't do anything."

"No, he didn't," she agreed. "But when all the stuff happened, I wasn't... I
couldn't..." she stopped, not really knowing how to explain her feelings the
days and weeks after her half-brother had been shot accidentally in a
cross-fire with Angel's weapon.

"Think straight?," he asked, his eyes warm and understanding.

All she could reply was giving him a small, miserable nod.

"You don't have to tell me," Giles said gently, "And this," he pointed at a
file on his desk, "can certainly wait another day. We could meet tomorrow
after lunch to talk about it."

"Thanks," she smiled gratefully, "Thanks, Giles."

"No problem. Maybe you should just talk to him," he suggested.

Now her smile was sad, "I think it's much too late for this. I missed my
chance for," she shrugged, "Well, I missed it."

"If you say so," he said, not quite believing her. She was already at the
door, when his voice made her turn around, "And Buffy, there will never be
anything but friendship between Drusilla Peterson and Angel," he was smiling
in the end.

"Yeah, I know," she said, but the sadness was still present, "But that
doesn't mean, he's going to risk his heart again with me, does it?" With
this she slipped from his office, her gaze instantly turning towards
Drusilla's desk, but there was only the female officer, Angel Reardon was
nowhere in sight.

*****

17.00 p.m.

Not only Spike hated observations, Angel mused while he was sitting in his
car that was standing in front of a huge brick stone house that looked as if
it should be standing in Boston. It looked so completely out of place that
it was almost funny. Almost.

And the reason Angel was sitting in his car in front of the out-of-place
house was that it was another of Derryl Chambers' properties. Simone
Chambers had entered the house, and Angel was sure it was to check out the
place. What he hadn't expected was for Riley Finn to arrive only minutes
afterwards. This had been about an hour ago and neither Mike Harmon's
fiancée nor the detective had come out again. Angel couldn't be sure what
was going on inside the walls, but it sure was suspicious as hell.

He glanced to his side and sighed at the sight of several empty cans of coke
and some other stuff littering his car, all leftovers of Spike's presence during
the past days. Not today though. The blond was - as Angel had told Cordelia -
following Darla Massey and Angel couldn't wait to hear what he would have to
say in the evening. Diana Massey was dating David Griffin. He shook his
head. Jesus, this case was certainly complicated.

Despite the litter that was covering the floor of his car, Angel missed
Spike today. He missed his cocky retorts and comments, his dry humor and the
way he could see things clearly as glass. And he could certainly use that
now, when the observation of Simone Chambers had suddenly turned into an
observation of Riley Finn as well.

Angel had planned to leave Riley to Spike, as he'd done it with Darla, but
now fate had decided against it and although Angel didn't like the situation,
there was absolutely nothing he could do to change it. He could hardly call
Cordelia and refuse to investigate Riley. Nope, no way he could do that. The
brunette would laugh - not in a friendly way - and just slam the receiver back
down, thinking he'd lost his marbles.

None of them could understand - maybe not even Spike - how he felt about
Riley Finn. His feelings were so mixed up he had a hard time understanding
them. When Cordelia had told him about Riley beating Buffy anger had been
the dominant one. Not just anger, rage. It had been all he could do not to
leave the apartment, search for Riley and beat him up the way he did to
Buffy. God, just thinking about it, made Angel's stomach churn.

What on earth had happened to the Riley Finn he'd known almost since they'd
played together in pampers? If, and that was the really painful question,
he'd ever been there at all. Could all their times together just have been a
clever disguise? No, Angel dismissed the thought quickly. No way, a little
boy could be that twisted. No, their friendship had been genuine. They had
laughed together, joked together. Like the night, after the first football
game in their sophomore year in high school when Riley had fallen for Lucy
Turner, two years his senior and in the blonde's eyes extremely hot...

##"Man that game's a bitch," Riley slid down along the wall in the boy's
locker room, completely exhausted, bruised and hurting, but grinning
nonetheless.

"Yeah," Angel agreed, opening the door of his locker and throwing his sweaty
sneakers inside. Turning his head he was grinning as well, "But we won."

"We sure have," the blond was wiping his dirty face, a blue bruise already
showing under his right eye. "Did you see the huge giant they had in their
defense line?" he asked.

"I did," Angel, commented, his grin never wavering, "Got you straight."

Riley chuckled at that and struggled to stand up. Playing high school
football could be fun, but he would give a lot for a hot bath now. Tomorrow
his body would be hurting like hell. He groaned when he already cold muscles
protested against a certain movement, "Don't laugh," he warned his friend,
"This isn't funny."

"Oh, but I think it is," the dark-haired boy replied, chuckling as well.
"And don't think I didn't see Lucy Turner following every of your moves."

The blonde's head jerked around, "She did?" he asked, wondering why his
voice was suddenly sounding so breathless.

"Yeah," Angel chuckled again, incredulously shaking his head, "Although I
still can't see why you have the hots for her."

"You can't?" now it was Riley's term to look incredulous. "Do you want to
tell me, you haven't seen her great ass and tits? I would bet she needs a
D-cup already."

Angel groaned and rolled his eyes, "Is there anything else you are
interested in a woman besides her body?"

"Nope," the blond grinned wickedly and pulled his dirt stained shirt over
his head, "A great body is pretty much everything. Hey, I'm young. I want to
enjoy myself, celebrate live. If not now, I wonder when it's going to
happen."

"God, you're gross," his friend said with disgust. Riley could be such a
jerk. Ass and tits - hardly the only important attributes of a girl. Not
that Angel didn't appreciate certain attributes, but he preferred a girl who
could also talk about interesting subjects anytime. Wham-bam in bed might be
fun, Angel guessed, but there had to be more. Of course he had no way of
really knowing it. He was, much to Riley's amusement, still a virgin.

His friend, of course, wasn't. Not that it was something special to not be a
virgin as a sophomore in high school. Angel's mother had been shocked to the
bone when he'd told her that most of the guys in his class had already slept
with a girl. The world would come to an end, she'd said and it had been so
typical for Carmen Reardon, the Mexican girl that had married his thoroughly
Irish father. It was her whom he had to thank for his first name, the cause
of lots of laughs throughout the years. But his mother was proud of it,
always smiling and stroking his head, saying 'you're my Angel. You never
brought anything but joy to this family.'

"Gross, huh?" Riley interrupted his musings, "Well, not everyone can be as
holy as you, Angel." ##

Had there been an edge in his voice all those years ago, Angel tried to
remember now. It had been 20 years ago, too much to be sure he remembered
correctly. But maybe even then Riley had been eaten up with the sort of
jealousy Angel had experienced in full four years ago. And that was the
worst, the fact that he doubted everything now. Every gesture, every
friendly arm around his shoulder, every pat on his back - what had been
genuine and what... not?

Running a hand through his hair he exhaled a breath he didn't even know he'd
been holding. God, he hated this. Hated all this stuff being dragged up
again. He thought he had left it all behind when he'd moved to New York,
burying all his dreams of love and a future in the process. Burying Riley
with them. But of course he'd been lying to himself. Things like these had a
way of haunting you and he knew there hadn't been a day when Buffy hadn't
been on his mind at least for a moment - several times a day. You didn't
just leave the love of your life and forget about it. She might have done
that, but he had never been able to - although if he believed Cordelia, he
hadn't been far from Buffy's thoughts either.

He looked up when the door of the brick house opened and first Simone and
then Riley appeared again. There was nothing indicating that it had been
more than just a business meeting - even though that was quite strange,
regarding the fact that Simone was the daughter of one of the richest men on
the west coast and Riley was nothing more than a police officer, the son of
poor Irish immigrants.

Angel would have sworn that Simone was in love with Mike Harmon the night
before. The way she had touched him, had smiled at him, looked at him.

She was jerking her arm away now from Riley who had tried to touch her,
glaring at him, her eyes narrowed and full of hate. What the hell was going
on here? Angel wanted to jump from the car and ask them, but of course there
was no way he could do that.

Riley was shouting at her now, but they were too far away for Angel to hear
what they were saying. She was shouting back, her whole body trembling with
rage, her eyes blazing. Then she turned round, slipped inside her car and
drove away, the wheels burning the asphalt. She couldn't get away quickly
enough.

Riley turned and now that Angel could see his face. He could also see the
smile on his face. And it made his blood freeze. It was an evil smile, the
smile of a man who held power - over a woman. The woman in question
undoubtedly had been Simone. And she hated the blond. But why on earth then
had her face been flushed in a way that could only mean one thing?

Damned, if Angel just knew what the hell was going on.

*****

18.30 p.m.

"Welcome in my humble home, my friend and," Doyle paused when Angel just
breezed past him without any greeting, then shut the door behind the
dark-haired man, "just make yourself at home," he added, certain that Angel
hadn't listened to one word he'd been saying.

"Doyle did you remember to put the white wine into the fridge and..."
Cordelia was just coming out of the kitchen and stopped dead in tracks when
her eyes fell on their visitor. One of her perfect eyebrows rose in a
mixture of surprise and indignation, "And what brings you here?"

"The job," Angel said curtly, not even bothering to greet his friends.

"That's too bad," she replied, already turning towards the kitchen again,
"because as I already told you, this is job-free time. No work in my free
time. We can talk tomorrow, come to my office at noon."

"Screw that," he told her, his voice holding definite anger and annoyance.

Not used to Angel using that kind of language around her, Cordelia froze for
a second, and turned back to him - almost in slow motion. Then her
eyebrow rose again, "Excuse me?"

He looked at her steadily, "I said screw that. And don't use that attitude
on me. For once we know each other too long and too well, secondly I really
don't give a damn about your free time. You tell me I have to get used to
you showing up at my doorstep at 7.00 a.m., so you have to get used to the
fact that important news won't wait until *you* have office hours.
Understood?"

Cordelia could only stare at him. From the corner of her eye she saw Doyle
was trying to suppress a grin that was threatening to spread across his
lips. Of course *he* was enjoying the situation tremendously. Leaning
against the wall, his arms crossed, he had the best view of this completely
humiliating situation. Well, she knew when she'd lost, she thought. Closing
her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath, and in opening her eyes
again, she said, "Understood."

Doyle almost did a double take at that, and this time the brunette had to
suppress a grin. He had expected her to shout and spit at Angel, certainly
not to give in like that. But when she looked at him again, she could see
the shine of pride in his eyes at her reaction and she knew again why she
loved Doyle more than anything in the world. Oh yes, their marriage would be
far from boring, but God, she could hardly wait to become Mrs. Doyle.

Angel, obviously as surprised as her soon-to-be husband, had to clear his
throat, before he said, "Good."

"Now that we understand each other," Cordelia said, proceeding towards the
kitchen to save her Beuf Bovignon from burning into something unrecognizable
and definitely un-eatable, "why don't you tell me why you came. What is so
important that couldn't wait until tomorrow?" She took the spoon to stir the
sauce, not looking at the door, but sensing the movement announcing Angel's
presence.

"Actually there are two things I wanted to tell you, and if you remember, it
was you who were bitching this morning about not telling you the things
a.s.a.p. So here I am."

He was leaning against the doorway now, almost casually, making her blood
boil. She really liked Angel Reardon. She really did. Most of the time. But
at certain times he could be the most infuriating, most annoying best friend
of her soon-to-be husband. On the other hand he was also the best cop she could
get for the job and so she swallowed an angry retort, took another calming
breath, "I guess I have to accept that," she replied slowly.

He actually had the guts to grin at that. Of all the annoying guys in the
world... "I know how difficult this was for you," he said then, surprising
her completely. "And I apologize for it. But coming back to the more
important subject-"

"Yes, that would be too nice," she retorted sarcastically.

He grinned again, exchanging a wink with Doyle, who was by now sitting on
the sofa, sipping at a glass of obviously nice Brandy, still enjoying the
exchange, tremendously. "Well, first off, Spike called. Darla met her sister
Diana twice today," he told her, "something that's strange enough, but
Spike swore that the second time an envelope was exchanged."

Cordelia put the spoon aside, turned to the fridge and holding a cup of
cream in her hand looked at him, "Hmm. Interesting. Any ideas what was
inside the envelope?"

"None," Angel replied. "But it wasn't money," he added. "Spike is absolutely
positive about it and he's the best cop I know."

"Besides you, of course," she remarked, smirking, then poured the cream into
her sauce.

"Thanks for the compliment," he said, grinning, but was serious again in an
instant, when he continued, "I was following Simone Chambers. I got a phone
call late this morning and so used the opportunity to check her out. Turns
out that she has some very interesting... acquaintances."

Cordelia turned her head and raised her brow again, "Oh?"

"Oh, yes," he retorted. "She disappeared into a building in West Hollywood
and you have three guesses who arrived there just ten minutes later and then
stayed with her inside of the house for about an hour."

"I never liked guessing games, Angel. So just tell me."

"Riley Finn."

The spoon she'd just picked up to stir her sauce clattered to the floor, her
gaze flew around to him, and from the corner of his eye Angel could see that
Doyle had left his spot on the sofa as well and was now joining his fiancée and
friend in the kitchen. "Say that again," he demanded, not sure he had heard
correctly.

"Riley Finn," Angel repeated, uncrossing his arms and bending down to pick
up the spoon. Placing it in the sink, he looked back at Cordelia. "And do
you want to hear something even more interesting? When they came out, they
were arguing, heavily. I've seen angry women, and I can tell you this woman
hates Riley Finn, but the really disturbing part is, that I could swear she
looked remarkably like someone who just had sex with him."

*****

Friday, August 25th, 7.00 a.m., Los Angeles

Buffy leaned against the counter in her kitchen and looked out of the window
onto the street beneath her. Los Angeles was already busy, even this early.
It was Friday and life started early because people wanted to leave their
offices as early as possible to start their weekend.

Weekend.

It once meant a time to relax, to enjoy spending time with the people she
loved, for family and friends. But not anymore. First of all there wasn't
any family left and her friends... Well, they were all married now or going
to be soon and for quite some time the feeling of loneliness had increased
on weekends.

Maybe it was because she'd finally hit the big 3-0. Or maybe it was just
that she couldn't remember the last time she had had fun. No, that wasn't
fair. She had fun, sometimes, when one of her friends choose to save her
from herself and dragged her out of her apartment. She would laugh and joke
with them, but deep inside the emptiness wouldn't leave.

Empty. Yes, she felt empty and exhausted. Not physically. Physically she was
perfectly fit, she was working out three times a week, ran every other day
for about an hour after work. It came in handy if you had to chase down a
suspect. Last week she'd outrun a thief and she was extremely satisfied that
she hadn't even broken a sweat.

Yes, physically she was fine. Her mental state was an entirely different
matter. But maybe she earned it. Earned it for wasting her one chance for
happiness, for love. Maybe if she'd been stronger, not been so devastated by
her brother's death, she wouldn't have listened to Riley. God, "if" was the
worst word in the world.

Willow believed there was a chance she and Angel could get together again.
But she had no idea, not the slightest idea what her best friend had done.
Yes, Buffy had told the redhead that she'd sent Angel away, but she didn't
know the hurtful words Buffy had said. The blond, on the other hand,
remembered them all to well...

##
Buffy frowned at the face in the mirror. It was a pretty face, flawless
almost, a woman, she even smiled but her eyes were strangely dead. They were
hazel like hers. Over all, the woman looked familiar, but somehow Buffy
wasn't able to find herself in the reflection.

In a few minutes she would marry Riley Finn. She would be Riley Finn's wife.
She would make a vow to love him, to honor him, to be with him until they
both died. It was exactly what she wanted. She loved Riley. Didn't she?

God, her mind was so muddled, nothing made sense anymore. Nothing was real
since that terrible day that had cost the life of the only relative she had left.
Just yesterday Riley had kissed her and told her that in only 24 hours she
would have a brand new family. His family. Their family, he'd said. It
sounded so good, then why didn't it warm her heart? Why didn't it warm her
soul?

She was interrupted in her thoughts when the door opened. She knew it wasn't
Cordelia because she had refused to come at all. But she thought it was
Willow coming to check on her for the last time, so she didn't look up and
inserted her second earring instead. "I'll be ready soon, Will, don't
worry," she said.

"I'd rather you not be ready at all or at least for another man."

Buffy wasn't sure if her heart had stopped beating that very moment, but she
was having a problem breathing.

His voice was very soft, when he added, "You look beautiful, Buffy. Like I
always imagined you would look on your wedding day." He didn't come any
closer, just stayed near the door, looking at her, watching her.

"Angel," she managed to acknowledge his presence. He was the last person she
expected to be here, but maybe she should have. He'd tried to talk to her
again and again during the past couple weeks. She'd refused to see him. And
now here he was. She didn't want to see him, didn't want to talk to him. She
could only think about an evening six weeks ago when all her hopes had been
shattered with a single shot that went through her brother's heart. "What a
surprise," she said finally, her voice sounding strange, even to herself. It
wasn't the warm sound she was used to; it was cold, lifeless, without
emotion.

"Is it really?" he asked, taking one tentative step towards her. "A
surprise? You really thought I would just stand by and let you marry him?
Watch you make the biggest mistake of your life? You don't know me very well
then."

"Yes, that's true," she replied, standing up slowly. "I don't know you very
well."

"But you do," he said, taking another step, "Don't you remember, Buffy?" he
asked, "Did you forget all the time we spent together? All the times, we
loved each other, touched-"

"That isn't important anymore," she cut him off, turning and staring at him
through cold eyes. "Whatever was between us, died with Mike. It died the day
you decided to end his life."

It was almost a physical blow and Angel actually had to draw a sharp breath,
fighting against a sudden tightness in his throat, a nausea that threatened to
consume him. She could see how hard he fought for control and it gave her some
sort of twisted pleasure. She wanted him to suffer. The way she suffered. He
could burn in hell for all she cared, Mike was dead and he wasn't.

"Not important, huh?" he said, his voice hoarse. "Well, it is for me. I love
you Buffy. You really think I would harm a person you love? You really think
I would kill Mike? I wouldn't have been able to harm him. He was your
brother and I liked him. He was fun. But even if I hadn't, the fact that you
loved him..." he ran a hand through his hair, "Do you really think I'm
capable of killing someone? Anyone?"

She made a sound that was somewhere between a snort and a laugh, "As I
already told you. I don't know you. I have no idea what you're capable of.
And as far as I'm concerned you can just leave. I don't want to listen to
you any longer. In a few minutes I'm going to be married."

That was another blow. He flinched, and only six weeks ago the pain in his
eyes would've made her weep. Not anymore though. There was no pity left
inside of her, there was nothing inside of her. She was a walking shell.
Going through life on autopilot.

"To the wrong man," he replied, managing to stay calm. She could see how
hard he was struggling. "You're not in love with Riley. You love me."

He had no idea, she thought. Love? What was love? A sudden panic took hold
of her for a moment. In a few minutes she was going to marry. A man she was
supposed to love. Did she really love him? Did she even care? Fortunately
she had herself under control again, "Oh really?" she raised a cool eyebrow
at him. "And you're the expert, aren't you? Well, let me tell you that I
*am* in love with Riley. Actually Riley just showed me real love."

This time he had to blink. The moistness in his eyes came instantly and
without warning. "Real love?" he echoed incredulously.

"Oh yes. Love. He loves me. With all his heart," she said without mercy,
enjoying the tightening of his lips, the way his jaw locked. Then she took
aim for her next blow, wanting to hurt him even more, "And you know. I
thought I knew all about making love. I was wrong. Riley was able to show me
another dimension."

He turned away. Swiftly. Violently. His fists were clenching and unclenching
at his sides. Six weeks ago, she would've reached out and apologized for
hurting him, for being so cruel. But the Buffy of six weeks ago was dead,
died when she read that the weapon that killed her brother had been Angel's.
The new Buffy however still wasn't satisfied, "And I love him. I love him in a
way I didn't think I was able to love. Everything before it pales in comparison."

He didn't turn to her again. He just walked to the door, opened it, and
paused for a moment. "Good luck then," he whispered, his voice broken, his
shoulders slumped in defeat. Then he walked out of the room and out of her
life.##

That had been four years ago, but to Buffy it felt as if it happened
yesterday. Tears were running down her cheeks and she wiped them away with
the back of her hand. God, she wanted to run to him and plead for
forgiveness, tell him that she hadn't meant a single word. That she didn't
blame him and that she loved him and...

Her breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes for a moment against
the revelation the memory had brought with it. There was no way she could
lie to herself any longer. She loved Angel Reardon. Still loved him. It also
implied that she'd never stopped loving him. That was the simple truth.
Riley had sensed it, although Buffy had tried so hard to keep it locked up
in some safe place, not visible to anyone.

At first her marriage with Riley had been okay. They had laughed together,
spent time together. She had genuinely liked him even if she couldn't return
the love he told her he felt. But after a while it had changed. Buffy wasn't
quite sure how it had happened. Riley had changed or maybe she'd just woken
up and finally realized she was living a lie.

And still she had tried. You just didn't throw a marriage away, even if it
was a mistake. So she had tried, again and again. Had even overlooked
Riley's infidelity at first. She even believed it was her fault because she
couldn't return his love. Then Cordelia had visited her one evening, another
evening when Riley had called and told her he was working late on a
difficult case. A lie of course.

Cordelia had told her what she thought of her so-called marriage and of
Riley and the mess her life had become. And after a week of thinking about
it, Buffy had come to the conclusion that her friend was right. So the next
Sunday she'd confronted Riley, hoped against reason that they would find a
solution, to save their friendship if not their marriage.

And he went berserk. She'd never seen him like this. He just lost it. First
he shouted, taunted and accused her of not being able to love him. When she
hadn't been able to deny it, he hit her. Once, twice and then again. In the
end he'd just looked at her and the way she was lying on the ground, one eye
already swelling, blood trickling from her lip. "You're a whore," he'd said.
"Nothing but a cheap whore. I know lots of them, you know, but you're the
worst. Nobody would ever pay for your service. You're a pathetic lover.
Frankly, I don't know what Angel ever saw in you."

"I'm going to file for a divorce," she'd told him, wiping the blood from her
lips but not standing up. "Tomorrow I'm going to contact a lawyer."

He just shrugged and took his coat from the hook, "Do as you please," then
he stopped and turned to her, his smile cruel, "Oh and while you're at it. I
had lots of contacts with women during the last two years. You understand,"
he winked, making it very clear what sort of contact he was talking about,
"Maybe you should see a doctor too. About infective diseases, you know."
With another wink he was gone and Buffy had struggled to get on her feet,
then ran to the bathroom where she emptied her stomach, feeling sick in a
way she'd never felt before.

God, she'd been such a fool, she thought, her sightless eyes still directed
towards the street. It could have been so different if she hadn't freaked
after Mike's death, if she'd been able to believe Angel's words at the
inquiry, or Drusilla and Faith who had sworn he hadn't used his weapon that
evening. But it wasn't any different and now she was paying the price for
her stupidity. Had been paying it for four years.

A sob tore from her throat and she wrapped her arms around herself, wishing
it were Angel's arms that were holding her the way they did a few days ago.
Wishing he would talk to her, tell her he forgave her, that he still loved
her.

She startled when the phone suddenly rang. Pulling herself together she
reached for it, "Yes?"

"Hi, Buffy," came a cheerful voice from the other end of the line.

"Faith?" the blond asked incredulously.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you busy tonight? Because if not, would you like to have
a drink with me at the Splash after work."

"A drink with you?" Buffy had the feeling she was suddenly living in a dream
world. The relationship between her and Faith was strained at best.

"Yes, that's what I said. Look, now that you dumped the ass- I mean Riley,
don't you think there's a way we could bury our... uh... problems? I'm not
expecting you to be my bestest bud after all this, but what about a peaceful
co-existence. Hey if Americans and Russians can manage..." she joked,
trailing off.

The blond thought about it for a moment, and then decided, the brunette was
right. Their problems had mainly centered around Riley and there was no way
she would allow her husband to rule her life any longer. "Sure," she said,
"Why not. At the Splash, after work. I'll be there."

"Good," Faith replied. "See you then. And Buffy, thanks for not just hanging
up on me."

Replacing the receiver, Buffy stared at it for a moment. Spending an evening
with Faith at the Splash? Well, still better than spending it alone at her
apartment. Better than just hoping for a dream that might never come true.

****

Faith pressed the red button of her cellular phone and slowly turned around.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" she said, grinning.

"Arrrgh," Willow threw her hands in the air, "What did she say? Is she
coming?"

"Yep."

The redhead's eyes lightened up, "Good," she beamed. "Now all we have to do,
is to get Angel there as well."

Faith smirked and patted Willow's shoulder, "That, girlfriend, is your
problem. I've done my part."

*****

Same day, 11.00 a.m.

"I'd really like to know what they're talking about."

Riley looked up to find Darla sitting at the edge of his desk, her face
directed towards Giles' office where the lieutenant was sitting and
obviously listening to Angel and Spike, the former pacing in agitated steps,
gesturing from time to time. Riley gave Darla a look, then shrugged.

"Can you imagine what's going on in there?" she asked, not able to take her
eyes from Angel Reardon, the embodiment of her secret, or not so secret,
fantasies.

"No," Riley replied, slowly getting annoyed with her. The last thing he
wanted to think about was his so-called former best friend. Involuntarily
his eyes darted to Buffy's desk, but in not seeing her there he remembered
that she and Xander had left early to check out new information for a case
they were working on.

"I would really like to know. Giles doesn't look happy, that's for sure."

Riley was about to retort something not very nice when Kate joined them,
"Who doesn't look happy?" she asked.

"Giles," Darla replied, "He looks as if he's eaten something he can't
digest."

"Oh," Kate's eyes were wide and now she was staring at Giles' office as
well.

"Look," Riley said, pointing at the file on his desk, "I have work to do
here. I'm not interested in what's going on in there." It was an outright
lie of course. He would have given a month's salary to know what they were
discussing. Then he snickered, "Maybe our New York cops have already fallen
out of Giles' good graces."

"Yeah, yeah, for all you care he could go to hell, we know," Darla said,
"but fortunately nobody here is interested in your opinion." She stood and
exchanged a glance with her partner. Kate nodded and the two women returned
to their own desk.

Riley's eyes followed them. There was no doubt that Darla still had the hots
for Angel. Riley remembered everything that had happened between them all
those years ago. Angel had still trusted him then, and told him all the gory
details, including the way Darla had been clinging to him. It was pathetic.
Darla was pathetic in her feelings for the dark-haired man. She had to be
about 10 years older than Angel.

Riley snorted in disgust and looked back at Giles' office. No, Angel
certainly wouldn't be interested in the blond detective, but you never knew
when some information you knew came in handy. With a satisfied smile he
continued reading the files.

*

Angel stopped his pacing for a moment to look at Giles, "I have the feeling
there's a lot more to this case than we've ever dreamed of."

"Dream?" Giles shook his head and sighed deeply, "I'd call it a nightmare. I
can still hardly believe what you've been telling me. Diana Massey, Darla
Massey and then Riley Finn with Simone Chambers," he shook his head again.
He hated this, had hated it from the beginning but with each day he hated it
even more. One dirty cop was already enough in his eyes, but now it looked
as if there could be several.

"Here's something none of us have thought about so far," Spike said,
studying his hands thoughtfully, then he looked up and straight into Giles'
eyes, "Who says that the case is connected to them? It's possible
neither of them has anything to do with what we're looking for. I mean, who
says that Darla and her sister are up to something at all? Or that Simone doesn't
just want to have one final fling before Mike puts the ring on her finger."

"Believe me, Simone didn't look as if she enjoyed her hour with Riley. She
looked ready to kill him. I've seen rage in women's eyes and Simone was
certainly raging," Angel replied, sitting down beside his partner.

"And you're sure you're not making more of it than there is?" Giles asked
tentatively.

"Making more of it?" Angel raised a brow, understanding dawning in his eyes,
"I see, because Riley and I had - have - several issues, I'd want to nail
his ass?" he asked, his voice uncommonly soft. Spike knew what it meant. His
friend was walking on the edge and he was close to exploding. As he'd
expected Angel's eyes narrowed, "Believe it or not," he said, "I want to
know who the dirty cop is but I'd rather not see Riley hang for it. Issues
or not, we go way back and the idea of arresting him," he exhaled sharply
and shook his head, "It's like arresting my brother."

"Yes, I understand," Giles replied slowly, and nodded, "But you are aware
that Riley might be the one we're looking for."

"Yeah," the dark-haired man nodded too, "I realize that. And there is a part
of me that wants him punished for all the things he did to Buffy and me. For
the way he treated her, but then I think back about other times, better
times and..." he shook his head again, "I never thought this would be so
hard."

Spike and Giles exchanged a short understanding look, then the Lieutenant
said, "So what we know is that there is a connection between Darla and Diana
Massey and probably even to David Griffin. And we also know that Riley and
Simone Chambers know each other, we even," he gazed at Angel, then
continued, "are able to assume they sleep with each other, whatever the
reasons may be. Anything else?"

"No," Angel replied. "But we do have a problem. I'm not quite sure if we can
keep this up with only two detectives. There are simply too many suspects
running around." He paused and looked at the other two men in the room, "How
about two more to help us?"

Giles straightened in his chair, "I'm not sure it's possible. I mean, who
should we choose?" he gestured towards the outer office where the other
detectives were busy writing reports, reading files or were absent because
they were investigating a case. "They're all suspects."

"He's right and you know it," Spike commented, looking at Angel. "But you're
right too," he admitted. "It's just not possible to observe everyone with
there being just the two of us. Maybe we should talk to the lovely Miss
Chase about our little problem," he suggested with a grin. Cordelia Chase
was some cocky woman for sure and he might've even looked twice if she
wasn't already engaged and obviously very much in love. Also, if he hadn't
already found his own object of admiration, he mused, his eyes drifting to
Drusilla who was engaged in a conversation with Riley Finn. Damn the man,
Spike thought, a sharp stab of jealousy surging through him.
Not that he thought Drusilla would fall for the loser, but he deeply
disliked the blond detective and the idea of his love interested being
connected to him - in any way - was nothing he liked to see.

"I already did," Angel, informed the other men, "We talked about the problem
last night when I went to see her. She agreed that we can't do it on our own
and promised to talk to her boss about it. She's going to call me as soon as
she has news."

"I see," Giles nodded thoughtfully. "I'm going to think about it too."

"Thanks," Angel replied standing up. Spike did the same and turned towards
the door when it suddenly opened and Willow entered, "Oh," she made a
startled sound. She'd been deep in thoughts and not really looking.

"Detective Osborne," Giles smiled at her, "is there anything I can do for
you?" he asked, then turned to Angel and Spike again, "We're done for now?"

"Yes, we are," Angel said, and then remembered something, "See you later at
the Splash, Lieutenant."

"The Splash?" Giles asked confused.

"Yeah, you know. Because of the celebration."

"The... what?" the older man still didn't get it, then he saw Willow
gesturing wildly behind Angel's back, signing with her hands. "Oh, the
celebration, of course," he exclaimed and saw the redhead exhaling a
relieved breath. "Yes, see you then."

Angel nodded, then turned, silently discussing if Giles was already old
enough to start forgetting things easily.

As soon as the door was closed, the Lieutenant raised an inquiring brow at
Willow, "And now, Detective Osborne, I would really like to know what this
was all about," he demanded.

*****

"Don't you think you've tortured us enough already?" the beautiful young
woman sniffed, drying her eyes with a handkerchief of white silk. "We
answered your questions again and again, Detective Summers." She directed
her gaze at Xander and sent him a look pleading for help and understanding.

He suppressed a grin and cleared his throat, "I know Miss Philips," he said,
liking the bad-cop-good-cop-routine, especially when he was the good guy for
a change, "how hard this is for you. Your mother was killed-"

"She was murdered," Sarah Philips interrupted him, her voice so laced with
pain that he was almost tempted to believe her. Almost. But he saw her
shouting at her mother's husband, at her sisters and raging when her dead
mother's attorney had announced the will that left almost the whole estate
to her husband.

"She certainly was," Xander said gently, "And that's the reason we have to
do this. To find out who killed her."

"What's there to find out?" she argued, her eyes suddenly clear and dry, her
mother instantly forgotten, "We already know who killed her. The one who
blinded her with passion, who made her believe that he loved her. We tried
to open her eyes, but she wouldn't listen. And he killed her." The tears
were back now.

It wasn't the first case of this kind Buffy had seen. In L.A. younger
husbands, who inherited wealth from older wives weren't that uncommon, what made
this case so special was the fact that Aurelia Philips had three daughters from
three different marriages. Aurelia Philips had been filthy rich, the money partly
inherited from her father but also earned with her stunning career as a Hollywood
actress. She'd been almost fifty but looked at least ten years younger.

For Buffy it wasn't hard to see why Cameron Graham had been attracted to
her. He was an actor as well and they'd met during a film shoot three years
ago and the newspapers had announced the love affair of the century. They
were obviously in love with each other if you could trust the pictures Buffy
had studied since the day she and Xander had been called when Aurelia's body
was found with a fatal stab-wound through her heart.

Sure Cameron and Aurelia where top class actors and certainly able to fake
their feelings for the cameras, but Buffy had met the widower and to her
there was no doubt that he had been in love with his late wife. He'd always
seemed so full of life in his films, but now there was just emptiness in his
eyes and bone-deep grief. She could relate, she felt the same four years
ago.

"We know nothing of the kind," she said now, looking at Sarah Philips,
"*You* assume it might have been your... Mr. Graham. But he swears he didn't
do it and I'm tempted to believe him."

"Of course you are," she snorted, her pretty face contorting in disgust.
"They all do. They all fall for him, for his good looks, his blue eyes. My
mother did too. She was a fool like all of them."

"All of them?" Buffy raised a brow, "Does that include you, Miss Philips?"

"You... you," she sprang on her feet, her eyes blazing, "you are...
disgusting," she sputtered, her body trembling with rage. "To imply that I
lusted after my mother' husband!"

"I didn't imply anything," Buffy replied mildly, "I just, asked a question.
You said all women are falling for him and I was interested if that included
you. So," she said, crossing her arms, "Does it include you?"

"No, of course not," Sarah Philips retorted, slowly calming down. "I never
would've betrayed my mother. I never tried to steal her husband."

"Implying you could," Buffy muttered, then said loudly, "That's not what I
asked. I wanted to know if you were... interested in Cameron Graham."

Sarah's eyes narrowed slightly, but this time she had her temper in check,
"I won't deny that I thought him attractive. Hell, the world sees him as a
sex symbol. I'm female - I'm not completely immune to his charms either. But
I never tried anything."

"We believe you," Xander said gently, smiling at her, satisfied when he saw
her smiling back. She trusted him. A good sign. "But we still need to have
answers to some questions. So would you give us five more minutes of your
time?"

"Alright," she replied, giving Buffy a nasty look, "I think five minutes
won't hurt."

*

"God, what a bitch," Buffy said when they finally left the Philips estate
half an hour later. "She certainly is an argument for birth control."

Xander laughed and patted her shoulder, "Don't exaggerate. She isn't that
bad."

"Not that bad?" the blond stopped in her strides and stared at him as if
he'd grown a second head, "She's worse, Xander. She lies, she tries to
manipulate you, and she's a mother's nightmare. And on top of it she's
spoiled rotten. She never learned how to lose. An explosive combination."

"I still can't see her shoving a knife into her mother's chest in cold
blood," he argued.

"Well, maybe not in cold blood," Buffy replied and continued to walk towards
their car. "But what if Mom told her little daughter about the changes in
her will. I'm sure it would've caused hot blood."

"We don't know that. You're just assuming things," Xander said.

"And you let yourself impress by that huge-eyed tortured look."

"No, I didn't," he grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him, "I know
exactly what kind of woman she is, Buffy. I'm 34 years old, I have a wife
and child at home, whom I love and I have more than ten years of experience
as a cop. I'm not some fool who falls for a pretty face."

She looked at him for a long moment, then sighed, "I know. I'm sorry,
Xander. I didn't want to imply you... well, you know."

"Yeah," he grinned. Starting to walk again, he asked, "The divorce getting
to you, huh?"

"That and... other things."

"Those other things being tall, dark, and handsome?"

She sighed again, Xander knew her far too well, "Yeah," she admitted. "God,
it's so hard being near him again. I hurt him, Xander. I really hurt him
four years ago. And I have no idea how to apologize, I'm not sure there *is*
a way to apologize at all. Not after what I've done."

They reached the car but Xander didn't climb in. He stood by his door, his
arms propped on the roof, he looked at her, "There is always a way to say
you're sorry, Buffy," he smiled slightly, "Just go and do it."

"I wish it was that easy," she replied, her own smile incredibly sad.

"Maybe it's easier than you think," he said. "Maybe you're in for a big
surprise if you just jump in and try."


... to be continued