My hands were beginning to sweat, I grabbed my towel and wiped them off. It was awfully strange being on this world, full of life. Back home we had none of these chirping noises after the sun had set. We had nothing but the calm lull of gunfire in the distance. I took a step foward, thought better of it, and took a step back. Feeling that my position was ideal, I sat down. A small winged beast, no larger than a centimeter flew onto my hand and began urinating. I brushed it off with disgust. I pulled out my copy of A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and tried to figure out where the closest bar to my current position was... 56 lightyears away on a planet called Dvojarch. With a sigh of hopelessness I stood up, only to find my bottom covered in mud. After a few minutes of trying to clean my rear end, and only making the situation worse, I decided to make the best of it and just sit down... again.
After a few minutes of sitting in the mud some construction bots came along and began constructing a gateway to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. As soon as construction was complete I stood up, held my towel close to my four hearts, and headed toward the gateway...