Some Like It Hot
Chapter Four of 'The Ladies' Man'
by, of course, Marie McKinnon
A/N: This is going better than I thought. All you wonderful reviewers ( I thank you on
bended knee) have taken this little idea from a one or two page short story to a four-chapter
shindig. Maybe that wasn't the right word, but I don't really care. It's too early in the morning
to care. Only 6:30 A.M. You see how early I get up for you people? Never mind. On with the
story!
*
At breakfast the next day James was still nowhere to be found. His chums didn't worry
about it much, though. They thought he'd just come in late and allowed himself a bit of a lie-in so
he wouldn't collapse the next day. Lily, not to be bothered with that type of thing, ate hungrily.
Even though James's disappearance directly concerned her, she didn't care about him any more
than she cared about the mud on the bottom of her shoe.
When he didn't show up in time for Potions, though, Sirius started to get worried. He
scanned the room urgently, praying to find something he'd missed. No luck. If James was in the
room, he was doing a very good job of disguising it.
"James? James, are you here?" The professor asked. Her only answer was silence.
"Does anyone know where James is?"
"He didn't come down to breakfast this morning, but he wasn't taken sick last night
because he never came in," Remus answered.
Lily paled. She'd left James on top of Gryffindor Tower all night. Panic bubbled in her
throat. It wasn't enough to tell them where he'd gone. No, she had to find him herself and
apologise. If he was still alive to apologise to.
"I know where he is, Professor," Lily spoke up. "I'll go get him."
Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged puzzled looks. How on Earth would Lily know
where their friend was? What had she and James been doing?
They would never know. She leapt out of her seat and walked calmly to the door, then
started into a jog. The broom cupboard was on the other side of the school, but she could easily
get there in time. In time for what? She asked herself. There isn't a schedule for saving a person.
Speeding up, with the cupboard in sight, she let her breath come in loud pants. Puffs of vapor
floated around her head. Lily wrestled the door open and grabbed the first broom she saw; a
Nimbus 1000. Probably Lucius Malfoy's, she thought in disgust. Putting the thought out of her
mind, she mounted the broom and kicked off hard.
The one thing in her mind while she was whizzing towards Gryffindor Tower was James.
She had to save him. It was her fault that he was up there in the first place. And she was pretty
sure that it had sleeted the night before. Not a good thing to happen to anyone, least of all a
fellow student and anti-Voldemort fighter. So now it was down to Lily to save a fellow
Gryffindor from a premature death. Images of iced over people popped unbidden into her mind.
I'm not going to let James turn into a popsicle, she told herself savagely, spurring the broom on to
greater speeds. He'll be all right.
Gryffindor Tower loomed in the distance. Keep your eyes on the prize, Lily thought.
The dark stone had never been more welcome. She slipped off the broom before it stopped,
making sure to bring it down to earth with her. If the broom left without them, two people would
be stuck on Gryffindor Tower all night instead of one.
Luckily, James was still conscious. "So you've decided to show up, have you?" He asked.
All of Lily's fears for him suddenly evaporated and were replaced by anger at his
ingratitude. "If you'd rather not have me here, I'll just leave again. You can stay up here all
month for all I care!"
"Is that why you came? To play the heroine by rescuing someone from uncertain death?
You wouldn't have come if you hadn't thought you would get a lot of recognition for it, would
you?"
"Being out here all night must really have messed up your head. I'm humane, remember?
I was the only one who knew where you were, which meant that it was my responsibility to come
and prevent you from turning into an iced dessert!"
"So now I'm a dessert? Am I yummy?"
"Of course not." She rolled her eyes. "Just get on the broom. We have to get to
Potions."
James made puppy eyes up at her. "My joints are frozen stiff. Maybe if you helped me..."
"How?"
"I'm sure I could think of something," he said mischieviously.
"So could I. Feurius evaporatum!"
The ice covering James melted, then evaporated. "Hey!" He said annoyedly. "You've
spoiled my fun!"
"Just doing my job. Now GET ON THE BROOM!"
"Fine," he huffed. "Just let me steer, all right?"
Lily was too tired to argue any more. "Fine, Potter. You can steer. We're going to
Potions, all right?"
He didn't seem to be listening. Grinning wickedly, he hopped on the broom and half-bowed. Lily, still grumpy, sat farther back and rested her hands as lightly as possible on his
shoulders. James, however, had an evil sense of humour. He urged the broom to its highest
speed, which, of course, forced his passenger to hold on to his shoulders tightly so she wouldn't
fall off. She wasn't happy about it, as you might expect, so she pushed forwards to get more
room and a handhold on the broom. Nothing doing, thought James. He leaned back. Lily
punched him in the head, but returned to her grip on his shoulders.
"We're not going to Potions, are we?" Lily asked suddenly. They were completely on the
other side of the school from the Potions dungeon, and even though she was sure she'd told
James where they were going, it was obvious that he didn't like the idea of returning to class.
"Nope. Took you long enough, though," he replied in an off-hand manner.
She glared, but James was facing the other way, so he didn't see her. "Well, then where
ARE we going?"
"I'm trying to find a really big snowbank that I can dump you into," he said, without any
trace of resentment.
"Oh, is that all?" Sarcastic though she may have been, Lily had a plan. When her
companion found a snowbank to dump her into, she'd toss him off, return the broom, and say that
she hadn't been able to find him. Simple as that.
"Evans," James said.
"What?"
"Bye!" In one superfluous movement, he shoved her off the broom. Unfortunately for
him, her reflexes were in very good condition. She immediately grabbed his arm, and he fell,
tipping sideways.
Lily had been shoved off first, but was lighter than James. His additional weight on her
arm pulled her farther down until she hit the snowbank. As before, he landed on top of her.
"Not again," she groaned. He grinned wickedly. "Get off, Potter, before I hurt you."
"Aww. We wouldn't want that, would we? Now shut up. I can't kiss you while you're
talking."
"All the more reason to continue," Lily growled. "You have till the count of three. One,
two, three. Right, that's it!" She stood up quickly, dumping Potter on his back. A chill wind
whipped her hair as she stood up. From James's position on the ground, she looked like an
avenging angel cornering a wrongdoer.
"Help me up, would you?" He asked.
"Of course not."
"It's Fate, Evans. We're meant to be together. Now help me."
"I have a permanent grudge against Fate. Besides, that's rubbish. We hate each other,
we're not meant to be together."
"If we're not meant to be together, why did you come after me?"
"I'm humane, remember? I don't leave people to turn into popsicles."
"Fine, then. But what's your permanent grudge against Fate? No one's ever done
anything to you."
"You'd think that, wouldn't you? You and the others, they just don't bother to think
about anything. If you don't know, I'm not telling you. Shove off. I'm going to class."
"I won't," James muttered. "Tell me. I won't say anything."
"You think I'm stupid enough to believe you? After everything you've done to me?"
"I'll find out somehow, Evans. You might as well just fess up."
"True, the invitations go out tomorrow."
"Invitations? Are you inviting me to something?"
"My parents are. It's my Bat Mitzvah."
He cocked his head to one side, confused. "You're Jewish?"
"Got a problem with that?"
"No, but isn't it a bit late for your Bat Mitzvah? You're sixteen."
Lily sighed and nodded. "It's a long story. See, I had a younger sister. She's three years
younger than I am, and we were going to have our Bat Mitzvahs together."
"What happened?"
"Death Eaters happened, Potter. They killed her over the summer, but Mum and Dad still
want me to have my Bat Mitzvah this winter. The party'll be in the Great Hall, and all the sixth
years are invited. Yes, that means you too," she added, seeing his hopeful look.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"No you're not. You're just saying that because it's the appropriate thing to say for this
type of situation."
"Maybe I am, but you should have told someone."
"I was too busy nursing a private grudge against Fate."
"Don't be so mad at Fate. After all, it was Fate that put us in the same House."
"Thanks a lot, Potter. And I was starting to think that Fate wasn't such a bad thing after
all."
Disclaimer: By now I think you've figured out that I don't own any of these characters.
The title 'Some Like It Hot' is from a movie that was filmed at the Hotel Del Coronado in San
Diego, California, U.S.A. I've never seen the movie, but I went to the Del over the summer (long
trip-- sitting down for that long is not fun) and my parents told me about the movie. I do not own
the Jewish religion, but what knowledge of it that I have I disclaim to Amarria Rosetti. Hi, Mars!
Hey, Korinna and Lorialei! Thanks for reading, stay tuned for chapter five, hopefully out sooner
than this was!
Coming soon: Chapter Five will be out as soon as I can wrangle it. Therein we will have
the Bat Mitzvah, and James and Lily slowdancing. I know, I'm evil. Lily will not be happy.
Chapter Four of 'The Ladies' Man'
by, of course, Marie McKinnon
A/N: This is going better than I thought. All you wonderful reviewers ( I thank you on
bended knee) have taken this little idea from a one or two page short story to a four-chapter
shindig. Maybe that wasn't the right word, but I don't really care. It's too early in the morning
to care. Only 6:30 A.M. You see how early I get up for you people? Never mind. On with the
story!
*
At breakfast the next day James was still nowhere to be found. His chums didn't worry
about it much, though. They thought he'd just come in late and allowed himself a bit of a lie-in so
he wouldn't collapse the next day. Lily, not to be bothered with that type of thing, ate hungrily.
Even though James's disappearance directly concerned her, she didn't care about him any more
than she cared about the mud on the bottom of her shoe.
When he didn't show up in time for Potions, though, Sirius started to get worried. He
scanned the room urgently, praying to find something he'd missed. No luck. If James was in the
room, he was doing a very good job of disguising it.
"James? James, are you here?" The professor asked. Her only answer was silence.
"Does anyone know where James is?"
"He didn't come down to breakfast this morning, but he wasn't taken sick last night
because he never came in," Remus answered.
Lily paled. She'd left James on top of Gryffindor Tower all night. Panic bubbled in her
throat. It wasn't enough to tell them where he'd gone. No, she had to find him herself and
apologise. If he was still alive to apologise to.
"I know where he is, Professor," Lily spoke up. "I'll go get him."
Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged puzzled looks. How on Earth would Lily know
where their friend was? What had she and James been doing?
They would never know. She leapt out of her seat and walked calmly to the door, then
started into a jog. The broom cupboard was on the other side of the school, but she could easily
get there in time. In time for what? She asked herself. There isn't a schedule for saving a person.
Speeding up, with the cupboard in sight, she let her breath come in loud pants. Puffs of vapor
floated around her head. Lily wrestled the door open and grabbed the first broom she saw; a
Nimbus 1000. Probably Lucius Malfoy's, she thought in disgust. Putting the thought out of her
mind, she mounted the broom and kicked off hard.
The one thing in her mind while she was whizzing towards Gryffindor Tower was James.
She had to save him. It was her fault that he was up there in the first place. And she was pretty
sure that it had sleeted the night before. Not a good thing to happen to anyone, least of all a
fellow student and anti-Voldemort fighter. So now it was down to Lily to save a fellow
Gryffindor from a premature death. Images of iced over people popped unbidden into her mind.
I'm not going to let James turn into a popsicle, she told herself savagely, spurring the broom on to
greater speeds. He'll be all right.
Gryffindor Tower loomed in the distance. Keep your eyes on the prize, Lily thought.
The dark stone had never been more welcome. She slipped off the broom before it stopped,
making sure to bring it down to earth with her. If the broom left without them, two people would
be stuck on Gryffindor Tower all night instead of one.
Luckily, James was still conscious. "So you've decided to show up, have you?" He asked.
All of Lily's fears for him suddenly evaporated and were replaced by anger at his
ingratitude. "If you'd rather not have me here, I'll just leave again. You can stay up here all
month for all I care!"
"Is that why you came? To play the heroine by rescuing someone from uncertain death?
You wouldn't have come if you hadn't thought you would get a lot of recognition for it, would
you?"
"Being out here all night must really have messed up your head. I'm humane, remember?
I was the only one who knew where you were, which meant that it was my responsibility to come
and prevent you from turning into an iced dessert!"
"So now I'm a dessert? Am I yummy?"
"Of course not." She rolled her eyes. "Just get on the broom. We have to get to
Potions."
James made puppy eyes up at her. "My joints are frozen stiff. Maybe if you helped me..."
"How?"
"I'm sure I could think of something," he said mischieviously.
"So could I. Feurius evaporatum!"
The ice covering James melted, then evaporated. "Hey!" He said annoyedly. "You've
spoiled my fun!"
"Just doing my job. Now GET ON THE BROOM!"
"Fine," he huffed. "Just let me steer, all right?"
Lily was too tired to argue any more. "Fine, Potter. You can steer. We're going to
Potions, all right?"
He didn't seem to be listening. Grinning wickedly, he hopped on the broom and half-bowed. Lily, still grumpy, sat farther back and rested her hands as lightly as possible on his
shoulders. James, however, had an evil sense of humour. He urged the broom to its highest
speed, which, of course, forced his passenger to hold on to his shoulders tightly so she wouldn't
fall off. She wasn't happy about it, as you might expect, so she pushed forwards to get more
room and a handhold on the broom. Nothing doing, thought James. He leaned back. Lily
punched him in the head, but returned to her grip on his shoulders.
"We're not going to Potions, are we?" Lily asked suddenly. They were completely on the
other side of the school from the Potions dungeon, and even though she was sure she'd told
James where they were going, it was obvious that he didn't like the idea of returning to class.
"Nope. Took you long enough, though," he replied in an off-hand manner.
She glared, but James was facing the other way, so he didn't see her. "Well, then where
ARE we going?"
"I'm trying to find a really big snowbank that I can dump you into," he said, without any
trace of resentment.
"Oh, is that all?" Sarcastic though she may have been, Lily had a plan. When her
companion found a snowbank to dump her into, she'd toss him off, return the broom, and say that
she hadn't been able to find him. Simple as that.
"Evans," James said.
"What?"
"Bye!" In one superfluous movement, he shoved her off the broom. Unfortunately for
him, her reflexes were in very good condition. She immediately grabbed his arm, and he fell,
tipping sideways.
Lily had been shoved off first, but was lighter than James. His additional weight on her
arm pulled her farther down until she hit the snowbank. As before, he landed on top of her.
"Not again," she groaned. He grinned wickedly. "Get off, Potter, before I hurt you."
"Aww. We wouldn't want that, would we? Now shut up. I can't kiss you while you're
talking."
"All the more reason to continue," Lily growled. "You have till the count of three. One,
two, three. Right, that's it!" She stood up quickly, dumping Potter on his back. A chill wind
whipped her hair as she stood up. From James's position on the ground, she looked like an
avenging angel cornering a wrongdoer.
"Help me up, would you?" He asked.
"Of course not."
"It's Fate, Evans. We're meant to be together. Now help me."
"I have a permanent grudge against Fate. Besides, that's rubbish. We hate each other,
we're not meant to be together."
"If we're not meant to be together, why did you come after me?"
"I'm humane, remember? I don't leave people to turn into popsicles."
"Fine, then. But what's your permanent grudge against Fate? No one's ever done
anything to you."
"You'd think that, wouldn't you? You and the others, they just don't bother to think
about anything. If you don't know, I'm not telling you. Shove off. I'm going to class."
"I won't," James muttered. "Tell me. I won't say anything."
"You think I'm stupid enough to believe you? After everything you've done to me?"
"I'll find out somehow, Evans. You might as well just fess up."
"True, the invitations go out tomorrow."
"Invitations? Are you inviting me to something?"
"My parents are. It's my Bat Mitzvah."
He cocked his head to one side, confused. "You're Jewish?"
"Got a problem with that?"
"No, but isn't it a bit late for your Bat Mitzvah? You're sixteen."
Lily sighed and nodded. "It's a long story. See, I had a younger sister. She's three years
younger than I am, and we were going to have our Bat Mitzvahs together."
"What happened?"
"Death Eaters happened, Potter. They killed her over the summer, but Mum and Dad still
want me to have my Bat Mitzvah this winter. The party'll be in the Great Hall, and all the sixth
years are invited. Yes, that means you too," she added, seeing his hopeful look.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"No you're not. You're just saying that because it's the appropriate thing to say for this
type of situation."
"Maybe I am, but you should have told someone."
"I was too busy nursing a private grudge against Fate."
"Don't be so mad at Fate. After all, it was Fate that put us in the same House."
"Thanks a lot, Potter. And I was starting to think that Fate wasn't such a bad thing after
all."
Disclaimer: By now I think you've figured out that I don't own any of these characters.
The title 'Some Like It Hot' is from a movie that was filmed at the Hotel Del Coronado in San
Diego, California, U.S.A. I've never seen the movie, but I went to the Del over the summer (long
trip-- sitting down for that long is not fun) and my parents told me about the movie. I do not own
the Jewish religion, but what knowledge of it that I have I disclaim to Amarria Rosetti. Hi, Mars!
Hey, Korinna and Lorialei! Thanks for reading, stay tuned for chapter five, hopefully out sooner
than this was!
Coming soon: Chapter Five will be out as soon as I can wrangle it. Therein we will have
the Bat Mitzvah, and James and Lily slowdancing. I know, I'm evil. Lily will not be happy.
