I'll Be Switched
Chapter Six of 'The Ladies' Man'
by Marie McKinnon

A/N: Sorry if any of you were expecting this earlier. I've been working diligently on a
birthday present for one of my reviewers (who also happens to be my friend), which hindered my
typing of this chapter. Blame her, not me. It's not my fault that her birthday had to be so dratted
soon! As all of you know, ffnet's been down, so that was a bit of a problem as well. And the
stupid thing wouldn't let me upload this, which also delayed the premier of Chapter Seven
because, as I'm sure you all know, I can't post seven before six.

*

Dear Journal,

I just came back to the dorm from my Bat Mitzvah party. I'm sure Mum will be angry
at me for not staying to see everyone out, but I needed to think. Of all people to make me dance
with, she had to choose Potter. I was so embarrassed. Everyone thinks we hate each other, but
now they'll start wondering (after Arriana and Yvonne came and 'fixed' our dance. I swear I'm
going to kill them) whether or not that's really true.

I know I admitted last time that I don't hate him, and maybe that I like him a little, but that
doesn't mean he can get off scot-free. In fact, it means he'd better toe the line or I'll revert to my
normal, somewhat-sane self and murder him for doing this to me. After all, if he weren't the way
he is, I wouldn't like him at all, now, would I? The last problem is that I don't know if he likes
me. He does single me out, and he acts perverted when we're alone, but that's probably just part
of his character. I'm not going to ask Sirius. That would be suicidal. Black would go right to
Potter, tell him what I'd asked and what I'd inferred, and it'd be all over the school before
breakfast. I s'pose the best thing is just not to say anything, act normal, and leave the rest of the
school to their petty guessing games.
~Lily

*

Right. I'm not even going to title this, cause I know enough to know that I'm writing in
my diary. It was Lily's Bat Mitzvah party, and the last song was a slowdance. Of all people, her
mum had to pick me for her to dance with. I mean, it's not that I don't like her, she's nice, and
cute, but now the whole school thinks we're in love, and we're not. Lord, I hate this thing. Okay,
okay, I know I really like her, but that doesn't mean I have to go proclaiming it from every tower
and every dungeon. Thanks to Yvonne and Arriana, we were as close as close could be. Those
two were giggling like crazy, so I bet it's all over the school. I'm going to murder them very,
very soon. Ditzes. They can only do so much. Which is why I'm glad Evans isn't a ditz. No
fashion-crazed, eyelash-fluttered snob would be able to hit me as hard as she did. Just the fact
that she hasn't fallen at my feet yet is nice. Saying 'the ladies love me,' isn't so complete, though,
if I can't say that all of them adore me. She most certainly doesn't. I don't think. Well, I'm not
stupid enough to go up to her or one of her friends and ask. It'd be all over the school that she
and I are going out or something in about half a second.

"Hey, Prongs," Sirius called. He'd just come in and was looking at his friend slyly.

Gotta go.

-James

"What?"

"I saw you dancing with Miss Evans," he said, a huge grin spreading over his face. "Had
fun?"

James turned red. "No. I didn't. Her mum grabbed me and dragged me over and
basically forced me to dance with her."

"D'you expect me to believe that?"

"I certainly hope you will, seeing as it's the truth."

His friend shook his head despairingly. "James, James, James."

"Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, what?"

"You like her."

"Oh, really? I'm so glad you've told me, because I honestly didn't know that--" Realizing
what he'd just said, James shut his mouth with a snap and hoped Sirius wouldn't get it.

Unfortunately, he did. "You admitted it! I finally got you to admit that you like her!"

"Help. Police. Murder."

"This is big news! I have to go tell her--"

James grabbed Sirius' arm and tried to prevent him from leaving the room. "Whoa. Oh
no you don't. This doesn't leave the room, all right? I never told anyone when you had that thing
for Narcissa Hartford, did I? It's the same principle. Not a word to anyone, not even Remus."

"Fine, if you put it that way."

"Good. Now I'm going into the common room. I want to study." Picking up his diary,
which he'd disguised as a textbook, he left the room.

*

Lily was doodling in what seemed to be a version of The Standard Book of Spells Grade
Six. In all reality, she was scribbling in her diary because she needed to get her emotions out
somehow. When James walked in with the same book, looking intently at one of the pages, she
was amazed to note that Potter was actually studying.

"Lily, get over here," Arriana called. She groaned. Of all the people to have to talk to,
Arriana was the worst. After what she'd done to Lily, it would have been wisest of her not to say
a word, but wisdom had never been her strong suit. "Tell them that I was telling the truth."
Reluctantly, Lily put down her diary and walked over to write her own death sentence.

"Oi, Potter, c'mere! I've got a question!" Frank Longbottom, who'd had a longtime
crush on Lily, yelled over the crowd of sixth years in the common room. Putting his diary down
on a table, next to someone's abandoned textbook, James shuffled over.

"Ooh! You two make the cutest couple!" Arriana squealed. "When you were dancing
both of you were all red and embarrassed, it was so adorable..."

"When you've finished telling me what to do with my love life," she growled.

"What're you going to do? Study?" Yvonne giggled, trying to fathom that someone, after
the biggest party ever, could buckle down and start doing homework.

"Actually, yes, but it's so noisy in here that I'll have to do it in my room." Feeling self
conscious, not seeing that there was an identical textbook on the table she'd left her diary on, Lily
swooped down on her book and left, hoping for a little peace and sanity.

"How far did she go? C'mon, you could charm the fish out of the ocean, much less
Evans," prodded Norman Doone, completely ignoring the furious glare of his best friend Frank
and the highly embarrassed flush creeping into James's cheeks.

"I couldn't charm Evans if my life depended on it. She hates me. Shut up, Doone, I'm
not telling you anything. No, I mean it, I'm going to go study in my room if you all are going to
bother me." Without a kind word to anyone, James, too, picked up a book from the table and
escaped to the quiet of his own room.

This is the diary of Lily Maureen Evans. Read at your peril.

What? Thought James. I just picked it up off the table, there wasn't anything else there.
How did this get to be Lily's diary? But now the question is--where's mine? Oh, d***. If I've
got hers, I bet she's got mine. S***. Now what'm I going to do? One side of his mind urged
him to read it. It was his one chance to find out whether or not Lily really did hate him as much
as she pretended. This temptation finally won over and he flipped to the back, where the more
recent entries would be.

Dear Journal,

Good Lord. Potter fell off his broom, and of course I had to go play the hero and catch
him before he broke his head open. I think he was out to get fresh air or something and he ran
into a tree. Anyway, I caught the back of his robes and towed him to the top of Gryffindor tower.
Before I could land my broom I fell, and, of course, he somehow ended up on top of me. The
Fates hate me, and I think the feeling is becoming more mutual than it was before. I'm kind of
scared and embarrassed, cause even though no one knows, Potter kissed me. Does he like me?
Do I like him? The second question is almost harder to answer than the first. Heaven help us. I
think I fell for James Potter. The world is coming to an end. I don't know how it happened.
Actually, I think I do. Thinking about him so much got me to wondering if he liked me, and from
there thinking about him so much developed my own reactions. He's cute, definitely, but he's a
bit too enthusiastic around me to be for real. Single out the one girl who can't stand you, right,
Potter? Maybe you're making a mistake. Maybe it's the other girls who envy and hate you for
your popularity and way of making everything you say sound like a compliment that buzzes in
their ears and I'm just one little girl who really loves you. Lord, did I write 'loves'? I know I
like him, but I most certainly don't love him. I'm going crazy. No, I've *gone* crazy. I'm crazy
for caring in the first place, and even more insane for hoping, wondering, living for the day he
comes and says, "Hey, Evans, come to the dance with me on Saturday?" and really means it.

That's another thing. I can never tell if he's being sincere or not. Does he really mean it
when he says that I'm the only one who makes him feel appreciated? That's absolute rubbish.
He's just too sarcastic for his own good. I'll just nurture this little feeling and no one will know.
If no one knows, nothing can come back and haunt me like it did with Margeurite. Everyone
knew that was partially my fault. Why did I have to be so far away when she needed my help?
Why couldn't I have been right there, ready to fend them off? They wouldn't have known about
her at all if it hadn't been for me. Hear that, Fate? I've undergone enough torture from that to
last for years, so couldn't you just have it easy on me for a while? But no. First Margeurite, now
problems with Potter. I think they're all against me. That's it. The whole world wants to get rid
of me, so I can just kick the bucket and everyone'll go home happy. What fun life is!

~Lily

"Whoa," James breathed. He'd never realized how complex Evans really was. And he
had to go find her, whatever it took.

*

Whatever.

I need to say this now. God, Lily is *hot*. I had to say that. I couldn't stop
myself. I hate her, but I have to admit, she is d*** good-looking. Fine, fine, I don't hate her.
She's all right. What the H*** is wrong with this thing? I'm certainly not in love with her, now,
am I? Fine, be obstinate if you want. What do you *want* me to write, if you think you know
everything?

~Admit you really care about whoever-it-is. No, it's not only hormones. You really wish she'd
laugh with you, not at you, and smile at you because she likes you, not because someone's put
you down.~

What are you, the love hotline on the WWN?

~Not quite, but definitely close.~

You are infuriating, you know that?

~Of course I know that. I may be an inanimate object, but I'm not as stupid as you are. Can you
imagine liking someone for years and never even admitting it to yourself?~

Is that a hint?

~You've like what's-her-name for years, don't deny it. Now get your big fat a** out there and
tell her about it.~

She'd laugh her head off.

~So now it matters what she thinks, does it?~

Okay. I like her, but I don't want to say anything. Better keep this private for a while.
Until she comes forward and does something, or until something happens. If it was meant to be,
something is sure to happen. I hope. If it doesn't, I'm screwed, cause seeing her flirt with
someone else would be more than I could take. Not like she flirts anyway, but still.

-James

Good Lord, Lily thought. He likes me. He really does. I haven't been imagining it. I
can't tell him I have his diary, much less that I read it. Only thing to do now is to find mine.
Where could I have put it? I know I left it on that table, so--d***. Potter's got it, hasn't he?
I've got to go somewhere to think. The top of Gryffindor Tower would be good. He won't find
me there.

*

A clatter on the opposite side of the tower woke Lily from her reverie. A tall youth with a
shock of black hair falling over his eyes slipped off of his broom and looked up at her, expression
stern.

"I think I found your diary."

Disclaimer: Dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! *Suspenseful music plays in background* Hahah! Right,
same old, same old, I don't own anyone new, except maybe Norman Doone, but he's perverted,
so I don't want him anyway. Happy Birthday Mahree Avocado--everyone go see 'My Angel,' it's
something I wrote as a birthday present for my friend/reviewer. It'll be up at around the same
time as this is.