I do not own the rights to Resident Evil or any of its characters, Capcom does. I also do not make any money by writing this story. This is my first fan fic, I have only played the games RE, RE2 and RE3. So I may get the plot wrong compared to the resident Evil novels.

There might be a few spelling and grammar errors cause i don't have a spellchecker and grammar checker at the moment.


Jill and Nemesis's excellent adventure


By S.T.A.R.S

Chapter 2


A survivor...

Jill ran down stairs and approached the survivor.

Jill observed the survivor, he was male, in his 40's years, middle aged and boy was he a fat shit.

Jill was first to speak up, "We need to find a way out of here fat boy."

"Are you crazy not with those monsters out there, they just killed my daughter," said the survivor.

There was a brief pause to add to the atmosphere and drama.

"C'mon tubby we need to get out of here. Theres going to be no rescue party to save your sorry arse," stressed Jill.

"I'd rather starve to death in here then be eaten by one of those monsters," said the survivor.

"Are you sure you'd rather starve to death? You look like you enjoy your food way too much for that. If you come with me I know this good McDonalds, its not far away then you could stuff yourself silly. How about it fat boy?" said Jill.

The survivor took a second to consider what Jill had just said.

"Actually that sounds..... hey stop calling me fat boy. Its not a part of the script," said a very indignant survivor.

Jill ignored the survivor's complaints and said, "They have have all the big macs, chees buergers and quater pounders you could eat."

The survivor was now starting to become irritable.

"Leave me alone you horrible lady," shouted the angry survivor.

With this the survivor ran away from Jill and locked himself in a nearby cargo container.

Jill ran over to the cargo container but it was too late the survivor had locked himself in it. After attempting to coax him out Jill spent the next few minutes teasing him about his weight and his poor acting skills. After a few minutes she grew bored of this and let him be.

Jill looked around the building she was currently in. It looked like a warehouse, it had two levels. The bottom level contained some cargo containers, a storage area and a forklift. On the second level was an office.

Jill decided to search the office, after a breif search of the office she found a key to to the warehouse exit door. Jill went downstairs and used it to get out of the building.

The door lead out into an alleyway which lead onto one of the streets of Raccoon City. All was queit outside except for the occassional scream or errie zombie moan. Jill decided to walk down the alleyway, she hearding a noise of a can being kicked. She decided hide in a nearby dumpster.

She poked her head up just enough to see what was going on. She saw the same group of zombies she pissed off earlier shambling there way up the alleyway towards the warehouse she had just exited from. They looked different this time though. All of them was carrying some sort of makeship weapons. A few were carrying pieces of wood, a few with crowbars and one with a sack of doorknobs. All of them looked extremely pissed.

As the zombies walked by she could hear one say, "Thats where that lady went in."

Another zombie said, "Alright, now its time for some arse kicking time."

A low moan like cheer could heard from the rest of the zombies.

The door to the warehouse could be heard opening. The zombies could be heard shuffling their way inside the warehouse.

As the zombies entered one of them could be heard saying, "Hey why are we using weapons? Why don't we use our bare hands and teeth they seem to be pretty efficent at killing people?"

Another angry zombies voice could heard saying,"Shutup Ed."

The door slammed behind the group of zombies.

Once the coast was clear Jill hopped out of the dumpster and ran away from the place as fast as she could.

Jill ran through the streets of Raccoon City as fast as she could. She found that the devastation was great. The city looked like a warzone with wrecked cars and smashed up buildings everywhere. Along the way she would occassionally meet a few zombies. She had enough playing with them and cut them down where they stood as she ran along the streets of Raccoon City.

Along the way she would try to open doors to shop and other buldings but they wouldn't let her in. All of them seemed to be loecked or won't budge. She had this strange sense that she was being forced to follow a linear path even though she had no idea where she wanted to go.

She was beginning to get pissed off now. Why couldn't she enter all these shops and buidlings. Even when they were locked she would sometimes try to pry them open with a nearby piece of debris. But everytime she'd try it she'd get a subconcious thought saying this door is will never open, we can't let you open it, we won't let you open it.

"God dammit, "she cursed.

Why can't I get in? Yesterday i was able to go into every single one of these buildings but today I can't. Must be be those damn stingy programmers.

Jill left the door she was currently trying to pry open and followed her predetermined linear path.

As she walked along one of the alleyways thinking about Chris her thoughts were interrupted by a nearby door being opened. A survivor ran out being chased by two zombies. The survivor looked alot like chickenshit Brad.

She ran in the direction that Brad and the pursueing zombies ran of in. Jill was keen to see if the zombies would get Brad's sorry little arse. She could never forgive him for not saving them earlier in the raccoon Mansion incident. She didn't care whether the radio worked or not, he should have known that they were in danger. Just as barry knew she was in danger with ceiling coming down trying to crush her. Actually how did Barry know i was there? Jill shrugged this thought off she had more important things to do.

Jill followed Brad until he entered the local bar. Jill had fond memories of this place. Every Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thurdsay her and the S.T.A.R.S crew would come down here for a few drink and try to pick up. Of course most of the time they would get smashed and disgrace themselves in some way but sometimes they would pick up. Of course Jill was only interested in getting with it on Chris because she knew that 3 out of 4 fanfiction resident readers wanted them to get together. Of course there was also the fact that there wasn't much of choice of good lookers out of the S.T.A.R.S crew. Barry looked like a shaved gorrilla and Wesker was so up himself he was inside out.

Jill sighed at these memories and opened the door to the back entrance of the bar.


Sorry if this chapter sucked, i'm not really putting much thought into this, it just comes as i write, which is usually not the way i write.

And the writing has been kept simple due to the jokes might not be too good if the writing is too mature plus i don't want to get bogged down and bore you.

I named the story Jill and Nemesis's excellent adventure becuase i wanted something catchy and fairly funny. Plus this is story is a bit like a road trip/adventure for Jill and Nemesis.

Please read and review :)

Next chapter will be out with the day (I promise i will do this Acman)