I do not own the rights to Resident Evil or any of its characters, Capcom does. I also do not make any money by writing this story. This is my second fan fic, I have only played the games RE, RE2 and RE3. So I may get the plot wrong compared to the resident Evil novels.
I do like RE3 but its just so fun taking the piss out of it.
There might be a few spelling and grammar errors cause i don't have a spellchecker and grammar checker at the moment.
Jill and Nemesis's excellent adventure
By S.T.A.R.S
Chapter 5
Jill had been walking around the city for what seemed like hours. She had seen so no survivors at all, she would occassionally hear the odd scream but when she checked it out it had always been to late.
She was growing pissed off because she had not found one single piece of weed from David Forde's stollen stash.
Jill opened a door that lead to an unknown part of Raccoon City she had never visited before.
As soon as she passed through the door she heard a gunshot. She turned to her right to see a mercenary taking a potshot at a zombie and running off around the corner.
She decided to run after him due to he was the only survivor she had seen in hours. She followed him all the way to a dinner. She entered the dinner, she could see no evidence that anyone alive had passed through here in hours or days. Jill decided to go through the kitchen just in case. As she was passing through the kitchen she saw what looked like an entry way to a cellar. Perhaps they stored wine or some sort of alcohol down there. She noticed she was running low on JD and desperately needed to drown her sorrows. The door was locked, she tried to use her "mighty lockpick" on it but this proved extremely difficult. She mentally cursed herself for even trying to use the "mighty lockpick" it was a stupid stupid idea. When she was about to guve up she found She crow bar lieing nearby and used that to open the door to the cellar.
Jill opened the cellar door, just as she was about to step in and have a look she heard someone walking towards her.
Jill immediately reached for her machine gun and trained it in the direction the sound was coming from. After a second she realised she had her gun trained on the mercenary survivor.
The survivor exclaimed, "Whoa take it easy there I'm a human."
Jill sighed with relief. Even though she realised that was a line from RE2 she was glad that it wasn't corny like some of the ones in RE1 (such as "What is this?").
Jill looked at the survivor he was in his 20's, was of athletic build, looked of south american descendance and was rather cute.
The survivor walked over to the now open cellar and looked inside. His face broke out in a broad smile and he excitedily said, "Hey you got it open, now we can get us some alcohol."
Jill glared at him and said, "Hey were you waiting for me to open it?"
Carlos oblivous to Jill's anger smiled back and said, "Yes, i didn't want to get my beautiful hands dirty."
Jill rolled her eyes when she heard this. Jill ignored the survivor selfish act and was glad that someone was still alive.
Jill said, "My names Jill Valintine I'm with the Raccoon City S.T.A.R.S team. Whats your name handsome?"
Carlos said, "My name is Carlos Olveria I'm with the U.B.C.S. I'm here to rescue any of civilians that are still alive."
Jill walked up to him and ran her hands over his chest and said, "I bet you are big boy."
Carlos got excited at Jills advance and blurted out, "Did you know all the foxy chics like me?"
Jill took a step back and slapped Carlos on the face. She angrily said, "Do you realise how fucken gay that just sounded? You'd think after two other game they would have better dialogue."
Carlos looked hurt, his lower lip began to tremble.
Jill felt sorry for him, she was just about to apologise when she heard a crashing. Suddenly the Nemesis appeared from the back entrance and slowly walked towards the group.
Jill gasped and whispered, "The smoking monster is back."
Jill grabbed Carlos by the hand and forced him into the cellar. Once both of them were inside Jill closed the cellar door behind them.
Just as Jill and Carlos made it in the cellar the Nemesis let off a rocket by accident. He really had no idea how to use this thing and still was getting used to it. The stray rocket hit a water main nearby.
The Nemesis clenched his fist in frustration, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't catch that little turd.
Suddenly all the water pipes busted around Jill and Carlos and water began filling the room at a fast rate.
Jill looked at Carlos he still had the expression of hurt child.
Jill interrupted his sulking and said, "We need to find a way out here."
Carlos crossed his arms and replied with, "Not until you apologise to me."
Jill rolled her eyes, they were in a life or death situation and this dickhead wanted an apology.
The water was freezing and was now at their knees.
Jill calmy replied with, "I have no time to apolgise now, we have to work a way out of here or we will drown."
Carlos turned his back on Jill and said, "I will not help until you apologise to me."
The water was now at their waists and was rising fast. Carlos seemed oblivious to the fact that could drown any minute.
Jill lost it and shouted, "LISTEN YOU SILLY FUCK WE'RE GOING TO DROWN DOWN HEAR IF YOU DON'T PULL YOUR THUMB OUT AND HELP ME FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE."
Carlos put his fingers in his ears and yelled, "I'M NOT LISTENING, I'M LISTENING UNTIL YOU APOLOGISE."
Jill screamed out in frustration and shouted, "THATS IT YOU CAN DROWN DOWN HERE IF YOU WANT TOO. I'D RATHER GO OFF AND FIGHT THAT MONSTER THAN HANG AROUND A SILLY TURD LIKE YOU."
Any feelings that Jill had for protecting or likng Carlos were thrown out the window. She had not met a A1 wanker like this fellow since Chief Irons.
The water was now around their necks.
Carlos still had his fingers in his ears and was saying, "I told you i can't hear....."
Carlos was cut off by the rising water as it engulfed his head. However he continued to talk even though he was submerged under water.
Jill swam for the ladder and climbed it, she opened the cellar door and pushed herself out.
Jill stood on her feet and quickly reached for her magnum. She looked around frantically for the smoking monster. After a few seconds she suddenly spot it. It was standing at the other end of the kitchen however it was not moving. Its eyes were trained on Jill, its facial expression was of total surprise. The ciggie in its mouth dropped to the floor, the monster also let go of its rocket launcher, it hit the ground with a loud thud. It was if the monster was in total shock.
What the fuck is going on here? though Jill.
The Nemesis finally made some type of movement and said, "Ohhhhh mumma got to get me a piece of that fine arse," and slowly walked towards Jill with its hands outstretched.
Jill was trying to work out what was wrong then she looked down at her dress. The cold water had made her nipples become errect. Jill cursed to herself and muttered, "Serves me right for buying poorly lined slutty clothes."
Jill didn't hesitate in firing on the approaching horny monster and let it have it. The magnums blasts tore through the approaching monster, each time only slowly it done marginally. By the last shot the monster was starting to sway, one more shot and she'd have him for sure. She pulled the trigger, click click click, she was out. Jill reached for her machine gun but before she could reply Carlos threw himself out of the cellar behind her and let the Nemesis have it. After a few seconds of fire the Nemesis fell over forwards in a pool of its own purple blood.
Carlos laughed and shouted, "MAN, I NAILED HIM."
Jill rolled her eyes and said, "You didn't nail him you just finished him off for me and WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST DIE DOWN THERE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALOT EASIER ON ME."
Carlos was yet again oblivous to her anger and laughed.
Carlos suddenly noticed Jills errect nipples through her wet dress and said, "I told you all the foxy chics liked me."
Carlos was about to touch them when Jill slapped him on the face and shouted, "HAVEN'T I ALREADY TOLD YOU HOW GAY THAT SOUNDS. DON'T SPEAK TO ME UNTIL YOU GET SOME BETTER DIALOGUE. WHILE YOUR ALSO IMPROVING YOURSELF GET A BETTER SOUTH AMERICAN ACCENT, YOU SOUND LIKE A CALFORINIAN DOING A NASTY SOUTH AMERICAN ACCENT. CAN'T THE GUYS AT CAPCOM GET A BETTER VOICE ACTOR FOR YOU?"
Carlos laughed and said, "OK i forgive you too."
Jill screamed in frustration. Carlos had not listened to her at all, he had just stared dully back at her with a blank expression.
Jill looked at the now dead monster. There was not much keeping her here and she wanted to put as much distance between this wanker and herself as possible.
Jill said, "Hey dickwod, I'm getting outta here."
Jill left the dinner with Carlos not far behind her.
Hey people, my next chapters going to be solely on the Nemesis. i hope your enjoying the story, please read and review. :)
I do like RE3 but its just so fun taking the piss out of it.
There might be a few spelling and grammar errors cause i don't have a spellchecker and grammar checker at the moment.
Jill and Nemesis's excellent adventure
By S.T.A.R.S
Chapter 5
Jill had been walking around the city for what seemed like hours. She had seen so no survivors at all, she would occassionally hear the odd scream but when she checked it out it had always been to late.
She was growing pissed off because she had not found one single piece of weed from David Forde's stollen stash.
Jill opened a door that lead to an unknown part of Raccoon City she had never visited before.
As soon as she passed through the door she heard a gunshot. She turned to her right to see a mercenary taking a potshot at a zombie and running off around the corner.
She decided to run after him due to he was the only survivor she had seen in hours. She followed him all the way to a dinner. She entered the dinner, she could see no evidence that anyone alive had passed through here in hours or days. Jill decided to go through the kitchen just in case. As she was passing through the kitchen she saw what looked like an entry way to a cellar. Perhaps they stored wine or some sort of alcohol down there. She noticed she was running low on JD and desperately needed to drown her sorrows. The door was locked, she tried to use her "mighty lockpick" on it but this proved extremely difficult. She mentally cursed herself for even trying to use the "mighty lockpick" it was a stupid stupid idea. When she was about to guve up she found She crow bar lieing nearby and used that to open the door to the cellar.
Jill opened the cellar door, just as she was about to step in and have a look she heard someone walking towards her.
Jill immediately reached for her machine gun and trained it in the direction the sound was coming from. After a second she realised she had her gun trained on the mercenary survivor.
The survivor exclaimed, "Whoa take it easy there I'm a human."
Jill sighed with relief. Even though she realised that was a line from RE2 she was glad that it wasn't corny like some of the ones in RE1 (such as "What is this?").
Jill looked at the survivor he was in his 20's, was of athletic build, looked of south american descendance and was rather cute.
The survivor walked over to the now open cellar and looked inside. His face broke out in a broad smile and he excitedily said, "Hey you got it open, now we can get us some alcohol."
Jill glared at him and said, "Hey were you waiting for me to open it?"
Carlos oblivous to Jill's anger smiled back and said, "Yes, i didn't want to get my beautiful hands dirty."
Jill rolled her eyes when she heard this. Jill ignored the survivor selfish act and was glad that someone was still alive.
Jill said, "My names Jill Valintine I'm with the Raccoon City S.T.A.R.S team. Whats your name handsome?"
Carlos said, "My name is Carlos Olveria I'm with the U.B.C.S. I'm here to rescue any of civilians that are still alive."
Jill walked up to him and ran her hands over his chest and said, "I bet you are big boy."
Carlos got excited at Jills advance and blurted out, "Did you know all the foxy chics like me?"
Jill took a step back and slapped Carlos on the face. She angrily said, "Do you realise how fucken gay that just sounded? You'd think after two other game they would have better dialogue."
Carlos looked hurt, his lower lip began to tremble.
Jill felt sorry for him, she was just about to apologise when she heard a crashing. Suddenly the Nemesis appeared from the back entrance and slowly walked towards the group.
Jill gasped and whispered, "The smoking monster is back."
Jill grabbed Carlos by the hand and forced him into the cellar. Once both of them were inside Jill closed the cellar door behind them.
Just as Jill and Carlos made it in the cellar the Nemesis let off a rocket by accident. He really had no idea how to use this thing and still was getting used to it. The stray rocket hit a water main nearby.
The Nemesis clenched his fist in frustration, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't catch that little turd.
Suddenly all the water pipes busted around Jill and Carlos and water began filling the room at a fast rate.
Jill looked at Carlos he still had the expression of hurt child.
Jill interrupted his sulking and said, "We need to find a way out here."
Carlos crossed his arms and replied with, "Not until you apologise to me."
Jill rolled her eyes, they were in a life or death situation and this dickhead wanted an apology.
The water was freezing and was now at their knees.
Jill calmy replied with, "I have no time to apolgise now, we have to work a way out of here or we will drown."
Carlos turned his back on Jill and said, "I will not help until you apologise to me."
The water was now at their waists and was rising fast. Carlos seemed oblivious to the fact that could drown any minute.
Jill lost it and shouted, "LISTEN YOU SILLY FUCK WE'RE GOING TO DROWN DOWN HEAR IF YOU DON'T PULL YOUR THUMB OUT AND HELP ME FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE."
Carlos put his fingers in his ears and yelled, "I'M NOT LISTENING, I'M LISTENING UNTIL YOU APOLOGISE."
Jill screamed out in frustration and shouted, "THATS IT YOU CAN DROWN DOWN HERE IF YOU WANT TOO. I'D RATHER GO OFF AND FIGHT THAT MONSTER THAN HANG AROUND A SILLY TURD LIKE YOU."
Any feelings that Jill had for protecting or likng Carlos were thrown out the window. She had not met a A1 wanker like this fellow since Chief Irons.
The water was now around their necks.
Carlos still had his fingers in his ears and was saying, "I told you i can't hear....."
Carlos was cut off by the rising water as it engulfed his head. However he continued to talk even though he was submerged under water.
Jill swam for the ladder and climbed it, she opened the cellar door and pushed herself out.
Jill stood on her feet and quickly reached for her magnum. She looked around frantically for the smoking monster. After a few seconds she suddenly spot it. It was standing at the other end of the kitchen however it was not moving. Its eyes were trained on Jill, its facial expression was of total surprise. The ciggie in its mouth dropped to the floor, the monster also let go of its rocket launcher, it hit the ground with a loud thud. It was if the monster was in total shock.
What the fuck is going on here? though Jill.
The Nemesis finally made some type of movement and said, "Ohhhhh mumma got to get me a piece of that fine arse," and slowly walked towards Jill with its hands outstretched.
Jill was trying to work out what was wrong then she looked down at her dress. The cold water had made her nipples become errect. Jill cursed to herself and muttered, "Serves me right for buying poorly lined slutty clothes."
Jill didn't hesitate in firing on the approaching horny monster and let it have it. The magnums blasts tore through the approaching monster, each time only slowly it done marginally. By the last shot the monster was starting to sway, one more shot and she'd have him for sure. She pulled the trigger, click click click, she was out. Jill reached for her machine gun but before she could reply Carlos threw himself out of the cellar behind her and let the Nemesis have it. After a few seconds of fire the Nemesis fell over forwards in a pool of its own purple blood.
Carlos laughed and shouted, "MAN, I NAILED HIM."
Jill rolled her eyes and said, "You didn't nail him you just finished him off for me and WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST DIE DOWN THERE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALOT EASIER ON ME."
Carlos was yet again oblivous to her anger and laughed.
Carlos suddenly noticed Jills errect nipples through her wet dress and said, "I told you all the foxy chics liked me."
Carlos was about to touch them when Jill slapped him on the face and shouted, "HAVEN'T I ALREADY TOLD YOU HOW GAY THAT SOUNDS. DON'T SPEAK TO ME UNTIL YOU GET SOME BETTER DIALOGUE. WHILE YOUR ALSO IMPROVING YOURSELF GET A BETTER SOUTH AMERICAN ACCENT, YOU SOUND LIKE A CALFORINIAN DOING A NASTY SOUTH AMERICAN ACCENT. CAN'T THE GUYS AT CAPCOM GET A BETTER VOICE ACTOR FOR YOU?"
Carlos laughed and said, "OK i forgive you too."
Jill screamed in frustration. Carlos had not listened to her at all, he had just stared dully back at her with a blank expression.
Jill looked at the now dead monster. There was not much keeping her here and she wanted to put as much distance between this wanker and herself as possible.
Jill said, "Hey dickwod, I'm getting outta here."
Jill left the dinner with Carlos not far behind her.
Hey people, my next chapters going to be solely on the Nemesis. i hope your enjoying the story, please read and review. :)
