Disclaimer: Note that I don't own any of the stuff I'm writing about. Except maybe the retartded plotline (i.e., the jokes), or the word "Foobers." And yes, I know the portrayal of rabies presented here is not very accurate. And yes, I did steal a little "catchphrase" from Asyria's MST of FF8. It's awesome, so go read it right now!

Final Fantasy Jeopardy! with Squall Leonhart, Rinoa Heartilly, and Seifer Almasy.

And that guy, Trebek.

Trebek: Welcome back to Final Fantasy Jeopardy! We're shooting another Jeopardy in the Final Fantasy World, and if you want to know how I got here, I can only tell you that I went to bed one night, and this is where I woke up. We've had an exciting first round, with Squall Leonhart in the lead with 1200 Gil. Wait, what?! Twelve hundred Gil?! No negative? Incredible, Squall! That's very impressive! Nobody's ever gotten above -11 Gil before!

Squall: No, there's a negative there.

(Trebek squints at the scoreboard)

Trebek: So there is. Sorry about that. I guess you actually have -1200 Gil.

Squall: ...Sure, Trebek.

Trebek: No, I can see it on the board. It says "-1200."

Squall: ...Whatever.

Trebek: No, it's right there!

Squall: Sure, whatever, Trebek.

Trebek: Whatever, Squall.

Seifer: You loser, Puberty Boy! That mustachioed old man just stole your line!

Trebek: No, I didn't, I just-

Squall: Whatever, Trebek!

Trebek: Sure. Fine. Moving on, Squall, you are playing for the... you're not playing for a charity?

Squall: We'll all die someday anyway. Who cares if you're happy...

(he glances at Rinoa)

Rinoa: Oh, he's always like this! What a Grumpy Gussy-Wussy!

Seifer: Sucks to be you, Puberty Boy!

Squall: (Yes, I know...)

Trebek: Okay, anyway, let's move on. Rinoa Heartilly, you are in the lead with no Gil. So have you decided to play it safe and just not answer any questions?

Rinoa: I guess so, sure!

Squall: You just don't know how to work the buzzer, honey.

Trebek: That's enough. Now, you are not playing for charity either, are you?

Rinoa: No, I don't know any charities worth giving money to.

Seifer: You could give it to me.

Rinoa: Okay, I'm playing for the, uh, "Give Money to Seifer Organization."

Trebek: I really don't care if you give it to him or Mickey Mouse. Let's move on to Seifer Almasy, who looks very rude and dangerous.

Seifer: I love you too, Trebek.

Trebek: And you have, let's see... -34,900 Gil. Not bad. And you are playing for the...

Seifer: "Balamb Garden Disciplinary Committee Fund" so we can get more money and teach those punk-ass rule breakers some lessons in pain and Hutiness!

Trebek: Let's refrain from using that kind of language on this show.

Seifer: What kind of language?

Trebek: Like you said before. You know.

Seifer: What did I say?

Trebek: You said "punk-ass."

Seifer: Dude! I got Trebek to say "punk-ass!" Sweet!

Squall: Sweet, dude!

Seifer: Dude, sweet!

Squall: Sweet, dude!

Trebek: Okay! Shut up!! Now, let's go to the categories:

Potent Potables (what'd ya expect?), GF's Called Ifrit, Your Limit Break, Colors, Dead Presidents, Who Is Sis?, and Hot Dog Trivia.

Trebek: Squall, you have control of the board, as you are the least offensive person here.

Squall: I don't care. Pick someone else.

Trebek: You can't do that. You have to pick a category.

Squall: Can't Seifer do it?

Seifer: Just pick a category, Puberty Boy!!

Trebek: Yes, listen to the scary guy!

Squall: (Why does everyone always expect me to be the leader...?)

(Everyone's watching him as he folds his arms and thinks to himself)

Seifer: (pushes Squall) Wake up, Puberty Boy! PICK!!!

Squall: Fine!! I'll take "Potent Potables" for 1000.

Trebek: Wow, no one's ever actually picked that category before. Okay, the question-

Rinoa: Isn't it...answers...on Jeopardy...?

Trebek: Yes, that's on normal Jeopardy. This is Final Fantasy Jeopardy, where we try to confuse you as little as possible.

Rinoa: I don't get it.

Trebek: That's fine. Just try not to think about it.

Rinoa: Ahh! I thought about it!!! (she dies)

Squall: (YES!!!!)

Rinoa: (gets back up) ...I'm okay...! Hee hee! Sorry to worry you, Squally!

Squall: (#$%&@#$#((^#@(%^@()@#%&)(^%#%!!!!!!!!)

Seifer: Sucks to be you, Puberty Boy!

Squall: Yeah.

Trebek: Okay... the question-

Rinoa: Um...

Trebek: Shut up. The QUESTION is: "What the hell is a potent potable?"

(Squall rings in)

Squall: Booze.

Trebek: Amazing!!! You actually got one right! This...this is...astounding! This is...holy mother of pearl...this is the happiest day of my life! Squall....!

Squall: I don't want any of you crazy monkey love, Trebek. Get on with the questioning.

Trebek: Yes, Squall, I suppose I should *cough*. Now, Squall, you have only -200 gil. You are also in control of the board.

Squall: Whatever. I'll take "GF's Called Ifrit" for 400.

Trebek: A wise choice... "This GF's name is Ifrit."

Seifer: (rings in) Garden Fighter!!!

Trebek: What? No, that's wrong.

Squall: (rings in) Amtrak.

Trebek: No, that's what you named "Doomtrain" when you played Final Fantasy VIII, isn't that right?

Squall: Yeah...

Trebek: Anyone else? No?

Boop boop!

Trebek: That's too bad. Rinoa, you are in control.

Rinoa: I know! Isn't it cool? He does everything I say!

Squall: No, I don't.

Rinoa: No, not you. My dog! Here boy!

(Angelo runs onto the set)

Rinoa: Good boy...!

Trebek: What is this? Oh, for crying out loud!

(Angelo is chewing some wires)

Rinoa: Angelo, don't chew those!

(Angelo bites Rinoa)

Rinoa: Ahh! My hand! Angelo! How could you!?

(She looks at Angelo. His mouth is all frothy)

Rinoa: Aw, poop.

Seifer: Looks like your girlfriend has rabies, Puberty Boy! Sucks to be you!

Squall: Hmm...This might be beneficial.

Rinoa: Arghh! Foobers!!

(Her head is bobbing around and she's mumbling incoherently)

Trebek: She's delerious! Oh well. On with the show. Seifer, pick the category.

Seifer: You ain't the bossa me!

Trebek: You don't HAVE to. I just want you to. If you don't, Squall will.

Seifer: (looks over at Squall) Fine. Dammit, I'll take "Your Limit Break" for 800.

Trebek: "What is your limit break?"

Rinoa: (rings in accidentally) Shpoofins! Nubnubstreeeeeeeethkrup!

Trebek: Incorrect.

Seifer: (rings in) Ass Whoop.

Trebek: Nope. (pause) Squall? Wanna try?

Squall: No.

Trebek: That's all right. Well, I'll give you control of the board.

Squall: I'll take... "Hot Dog Trivia" for 200.

Trebek: "Who is the guy who really really likes hot dogs?"

(pause)

Trebek: "He was on your team. He has a freaky tattoo."

(another, slightly dumber pause)

Trebek: "His name is Zell. Someone say 'Zell.'"

Rinoa: Doopie zellie frieeplie woobles!

Trebek: Did she say "Zell?"

Squall/Seifer: No.

Trebek: Okay. Well, no on got that right.

Doop doop!

Trebek: Seifer, the board is yours.

Seifer: Kick freaking ass. I'll take "Dead Presidents" for 600.

Trebek: "This Galbadian President was killed by the sorceress."

Squall: (rings in) Bill Clinton.

Trebek: No. That is incorrect.

Seifer: (rings in) The Homosexual Gunblade Specialist!

Trebek: No, that is also incorrect.

Seifer: ...No, that's correct.

Trebek: No, it isn't!

Squall: I think he's right.

Trebek: Well, he's not.

Rinoa: SHPPPPPOOOOOOOOBBBBB!!!!!!

Trebek: Since Rinoa is...incapable of playing, the board is Squall's.

Squall: I'll take "Who is Sis?" for 1000.

Trebek: Sure... "Who is 'Sis?'"

(pause)

Trebek: Anyone? This should be easy for you, Squall and Seifer.

(pause)

Boop boop!

Trebek: Okay, you're all idiots. I hate to say it, but it's true.

Seifer: Well, you're an asswipe!

Trebek: Just pick a catagory.

Seifer: "Colors" for 1000.

Trebek: "What is this color?"

(Trebek holds up a sheet of glass)

Seifer: Window color!

Trebek: No.

(pause)

Boop boop!

Trebek: Well, the correct answer was "clear". Now for-

Seifer: What the HELL!? "Clear"!?

Trebek: Yeah! Clear! What's wrong!?

Seifer: (somewhat taken back that Trebek yelled at him) ...uh! Nothing!

Trebek: Good. Now for Final Jeopardy. The category is: "Someone you know." All you have to do is write down someone you know. Sounds easy. Okay, start now.

(Hum Jeopardy music, since I haven't got a MIDI or anything)

Doop doop doop!

Trebek: Let's see what everyine wrote. What fun.

(He walks over to Squall, who is still writing)

Squall: Almost done...

Trebek: I think you're writing a little too much.

Squall: Okay, hold on.

Trebek: I'll get back to you. Seifer, what have you written? I wonder. Your answer:

I'M GUNA KCIK YOU'RE ASS

Trebek: I think you got that wrong.

Seifer: Dammit!

Trebek: Okay, you wagered:

RUL BRACKERZ!!!!!

Trebek: That is very wrong. Rinoa, I don't think probably wrote anything, since she's passed out on the floor. Let's look:

SqUaLlY

Trebek: Technically, that's correct. She knows you, Squall. What she wagered:

WaLlY pOoPy WoOpY ARGH FOOBERSa as;gh ;lashg hrewgsgssjkghrtmnx

Trebek: So sad. It looks like since Rinoa won with zero gil, you Seifer, shall recieve a check for no gil.

Seifer: Kickass! (pause) Hey! Aw, damn.

Trebek: This has been yet another fun fun Final Fantasy Jeopardy. I'm Alex Trebek, and I want to go home.