Giant Coconuts of Death by: ScapeGirl

A/n: Hey party people. Havin' fun? Hope so. Keep in mind I only torture you guys cause I love you! Especially you Sirius! *blows kiss*

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Harry Potter, would I be writing a FAN fiction? So obviously, I don't!



One day, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking around the (PINEAPPLE!!!) lake, talking about fleas. (Don't ask, 'cause I don't know.) Suddenly, as they walked by a tree, a coconut fell at Harry's feet.

Hermione gasped. (FUDGE!!!) "That's a GIANT COCONUT OF DEATH!!! I've read all about them!"

Ron screamed like a little girl. "BLOODY HELL! A GIANT COCONUT OF DEATH! Hey, what IS a giant coconut of death anyway?"

Just then, Snape (the bloody old grease ball) walked (WAKE UP!!!) up to them. "What's going on here!?" he demanded. He looked down at the coconut and started jumping for joy. "A coconut, a COCONUT!!! I FRIGGIN' LOVE COCONUTS!"

"We got this, just for you!" Ron said. (SHAMPOO!!!) "Sorry, Harry dropped it."

Snape glared at Harry. "Very graceful, Potter. But hey, thanks for the coconut." He bent down to pick it up. But as soon as he touched it, he exploded, and (much to their disgust) everyone was covered in Snape guts.

"DAMN IT!" Harry yelled. "How the BLOODY HELL am I supposed to get SNAPE out of my robes?!"

Hermione and Ron shrugged. "Oh well," Harry said. "Let's go."

Before they'd taken two steps, Malfoy came walking over with Professor (FRAUD!!!) Trelawney. Harry smiled evilly, and kicked the tree until two more giant coconuts of death fell down. "Oooh Mal-foy! Pro-fessor!" he called in a singsong voice. "Looky at what I got you!"

Trelawney and Malfoy came over. They both started jumping up and down and hugging each other when they saw the coconuts. (PINK!!!) "COCONUTS!" they shouted in annoying, high-pitched voices. "We just LOVE coconuts!" They both bent down to pick up their coconuts and exploded. Now Harry, Ron, and Hermione had Snape, Malfoy, AND Trelawney guts all over them, but they didn't care anymore. They were promptly given 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 points (GAG!!!) for Gryffindor each, and exempt from all finals for the rest of their time in Hogwarts.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Never, EVER, pick up (FLOWER!!!) strange coconuts on the ground, or accept a coconut from someone who won't hold it himself or herself, OR from Harry, Ron, or Hermione after you've really pissed them off.