1 Harry Pothead and a non-druggie from Afghanistan



Harry Pothead was sitting under his stairs again (He does this a lot doesn't he?) and injecting heroin into his arm. The room began to spin around and he just laughed.

After his heroin high he wanted to see what the rest of the family was up to, so he went into the living room and they were just sitting quietly on the couch.

"Whoa, not on drugs today or something?" He asked. No answer. He got mad at the silence and threw a block of cheese at Aunt Petunia who just fell onto the floor.

He went and punched Uncle Vernon who just fell over so that his head was in Dudley's lap. He was rather curious as to what was going on. He checked their pulses and felt that they were dead. They had died from drug overdoses. A strange facial expression came onto Harry's face. His lips puffed out and then he jumped up screaming with joy, ran out of the house, and ran into a tree, which knocked him out cold.

48 hours later, he woke up and found himself on a bus full of crack snorting, pot smoking Hippies.

"Wow!" He exclaimed, "Got pot?"

"Yeah DUDE!" the hippie said and handed him some pot.

"This is the REAL shit!" Harry said.

"Okay Harry, we're arriving at you school, Hogthepot. Now you be careful, we have word someone has come here from Afghanistan and doesn't smoke pot! Say, isn't this a great Idea for a plot?"

"I'll say!" Harry agreed. "Bye Mr. Hippie!"

"Bye!" The hippie replied. 3 seconds later he fell down dead.

Harry turned away from the bus and saw Ron humping a black dog.

"Ron!" he screamed. "Stop giving that dog pleasure!"

"But if feels so good!" Ron complained.

"Shut up and get your clothes on!"

"Fine." he sighed. So they started walking toward Hogthepot. They walked in and walked into the dining hall and saw the beer cans twirling and the girls (plus Hermione) dancing in bras on the tables. The first years came in, got seated and Smokesomemore greeted them.

"Welcome back, I have a very important announcement to make. There is someone around here from Afghanistan who doesn't like drugs. He is dangerous to all of you because he might stop your addiction. We're bringing in drug dealers to guard the school." All the drug dealers came in and immediately started selling drugs to the students. "Anyway, LET THE DRUGGING BEGIN!" All the students have more drugs like usual and stuff and then went up to the dorms. Ron, Harry, and Hermione all had an orgy in the common room, and people that happened to walk by couldn't help but join in.

One day, Harry was playing Crackish when he fainted; someone had put too much crack in the bag. When Harry woke up he was in the stomach pumping/hospital wing of Hogthepot. He was cured after 2 days but he knew something was wrong, and the person from Afghanistan was somewhere near by.

Christmas came and he got more drugs and stuff, like usual. Malfoy got a pair of prosthetic testacies to help him out with his sexual life at gay bars. Anyway, Christmas passed and it was 1 week before the end of school when Harry saw the dog run somewhere strange. Harry followed it for miles and followed it all the way to an abandoned house. He entered and followed the dog into a bedroom, where the dog lied down on the bed and suddenly became aware of Harry's presence. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye the dog turned into a strange man.

"Say!" Harry started. "You're Osama Bin Laden!"

"Yes." He replied.

"Wait. that means Ron actually Fucked you!!!"

"Yeah" Osama's eyes went all dreamy like.

"Anyway, Harry Pothead, I have something to tell you.." He breathed heavily. "Sorry I'm wheezing, but after spending so much time in a cave you would too. ANYWAY, Harry Pothead." He breathed loudly. "I am your father!" Harry stood stunned.

"No way! If that's true then tell me why my name is Harry."

"Okay, It's because you have a forest of pubic hair."

"Oh my, THAT'S RIGHT!"

"mmhmm"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed.

"What?!" Osama asked

"Ron screwed my father! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Ah, Ron!" His eyes went all dreamy like again.

"But I don't want you to be my father after all the people you've killed!" Harry said.

"But." Osama started. Suddenly a plane crashed into the house only Killing Osama Bin Laden and leaving Harry un-touched.

"HA HA!" Harry pointed and laughed.

The week went by fast and the last day of school Britney spears stopped by and screwed every boy (and the Hermione) because she's a slut. Everyone enjoyed this treat, even Ron who became straight again (strangely). They then went back to their homes and waited for the next year.





Authors Note: Okay, I know that didn't have much of a plot, but at least it had a small scraping of a plot. Anyway, I would like to thank Steven for help on ideas, thanks Steven. I would also like to let everyone out there know that I will have the 4th one posted on Monday at 7:00 eastern time. I do not have it written yet, but I will try as hard as I can to get it done. Thank you for reading. If you need to contact me, I can be reached at Hdude77@hotmail.com thanks