Love In Blue Eyes

Part One: Altered Destiny

Chapter 4: The First Verse



Allen sat stiffly near the front of the Crusade, watching the mountains and forest go by without a thought. It was all too much the same for him. He had been to Fanelia and back so many times, he practically knew every tree by name, and every small river by it's size. His blue eyes twinkled suddenly, as he remembered faintly, of something he had seen only two days earlier. He had been waiting for Hitomi with his men outside the flying ship, when he had looked up and swore he saw two angels flying together, hands entwined over the hill where Folken Lacour deFanel lay silently in his grave. Gaddes had asked him why he had gasped, and he had told the sargeant exactly what he had seen. He had given Allen a bemused glare, as if questioning the Captain's sanity. And Allen had laughed, seeing Gaddes' face. He hadn't told Hitomi though, bringing it up might make her remember Van. He remembered the way his chest had tightened with sorrow, seeing the way Hitomi looked when she had boarded again, ready to go back to Asturia. Allen didn't want to make her feel or look that way ever again. "Boss, Lady Hitomi wishes to see you." said Adrian(he had come on the trip too) as he exited her room. Allen's head snapped up at his soon- to-be brother in law's voice. "Ok." he answered, yawning as he stood up. The sun was already gone, and the Mystic Moon hung glowing in the sky. It was probably almost mid-night, and Allen was suprised that Hitomi was still awake. Sauntering over, half asleep, he pushed the ajar door open, to find her sitting against the pillow's on her bed, gazing wordlessly out the small window beside her. He coughed and her head turned, now aware of his presence "Oh Allen." she said, sounding suprised, as if she had forgotten her summoning him. "You called?" he asked sarcastically, seating himself in a small chair beside the bed. Not fully wanting to though, after he had sat in a similar chair for over an hour. She laughed a little then smiled, her green eyes shining in the candle-lit room. "I just wanted to ask you something." she murmured, her smile suddenly fading. "What?" he asked, listening intently. Hitomi paused for a moment then continued "Allen.......do you love me?"





His expression made her flinch. It was suprise mixed with other sign's she knew meant no. She could see him struggle with words to answer her with. What was he going to say? Inwardly she didn't want to find out. "Hitomi I-" he stopped abruptly, still unsure of his answer. "It's ok, you don't have to say anything." she said, before he could continue "I know that the feelings you had for me twelve years ago were never true. And even if they had been, they surely have faded by now......" "No." Tears flung into her eyes, as he confirmed her suspicsion. But Allen wasn't finished "No Hitomi, you're wrong. I do love you. I always have, and always will. I have never stopped loving you since you left for a single moment. You have always been there, your warm smile and eyes shining, inside my heart. When you came back, I knew that you were going to find Van. And I knew that you thought that the both of you were going to get married and live happily ever after. But it can never be that way with you two, because Van has moved on, and I assumed you had too. It hurt me so much to tell you about Arra, and after your last moments with Van, I was waiting for you to tell me whether you loved me." Hitomi didn't know what to say, and inwardly didn't want to say anything. How could she have even asked the question at all? There was no way she could do this. She just couldn't, even for one moment, think of even considering starting a relationship with Allen.......It just didn't seem right. Infact, now that Hitomi really thought about it, she didn't even love him in the first place. But at the same time, somewhere deep inside her, she did want to feel that way. To end all the suffering in her life, even if that meant she would be doing something that she didn't want. "No." she said abruptly "I don't love you......I don't even know why I asked you." Getting up, she walked quickly over to the door saying "It's late, I want to go to sleep now. Please leave." the harshness in her tone suprised even her. But she had to be firm, so she could wipe away the yearning and wanting to love and be loved. And she couldn't make Allen believe something that wasn't true..... "Ok, I'll leave." Hitomi had expected him to say more, and was a little suprised at his calm voice. As though he had always known what she would say. But he just got up slowly from her small bed and walked silently out the door, closing it softly behind him. For a moment, she just stood there, thinking about what had happened. Then, shaking it off, she slipped under the covers and closed her eyes. Tears began to form suddenly and she whispered "I always thought that returning to Gaea would make me happy. But all it has done is tear my life apart again......." and then sleep swept over her like a shroud, sending her into her dreams.





"She has returned" a icy voice said from the concealment of the darkened room. "I realize that Villn. But there's nothing we can do until she comes to Asturia!" another voice snapped, making the first figure flinch. Taking a step forward, he was awash with a sudden light, eminating from an opened door. "Lord Zander, she is on her way back with the knight....." the young page stiffened under Villn's glare, his cold eyes ordering him to stop. "His Highness is busy right now. Go away." he commanded, flicking his stare on the considerably larger man beside him, waiting to receive priase for his good work. "Shut up Villn." Zander said tersely, motioning the page to come in, totaly ignoring the commanders look. "Tell me Yuine" he hissed, sitting down slowly "How long will it be until the girl is with us?" the young page trembled slightly, not knowing what to say. After a quick moment, Villn shouted "Answer His Highness when he asks you a question......!" before he could say more, Zander stood punched him, sending him flying across the room. With a defening crunch, he hit the wall with great force, rendering him unconscious. A small yelp escaped Yuine, as he witnessed the event. Zander sat down again and masaged his temples, barely even noticing the page was still there. "Excuse me Your Highness." Yuine suddenly squeeked. Raising his head he replied "What?" Swallowing hard, Yuine asked "Um, what girl are we actually looking for anyway? I mean I've never been to any of the gatherings." Licking his lips, Zander smiled menecingly responding "Why, the girl named Hitomi Kanzaki of the Mystic Moon of course."







Hitomi awoke feeling utterly cold. The window beside her was shut tight and the door was closed. But it still felt as though a dead breeze was blowing around the small room. Shivering, she pulled the covers closer, trying to bring the slightest warmth to her trembling body. The Mystic Moon's silver light cascaded through the window, creating an odd hue on the floor. And every now and then, Hitomi could see the shadows of trees and other things obscuring it. The entire ship was silent, except for the grunts of the men in other rooms beside hers, and the soft humming of the Crusade. Crusade, it made her suddenly think of Allen. And the way he had embraced her so many times before, and then she remembered when he had proposed to her............"No!" she shouted abruptly, jumping from the cot. Running to the door, she flung it open and raced towards the docking bay where they kept the guymelef's. "Why do I keep wanting to love Allen so much?!" she cried, breaking into tears. "I love Van, I love Sirus, and I always will!" Cranking the lever beside her, Hitomi opened the giant door at the end of the Crusade. Wailing wind rushed around her, blocking her from hearing anything except the fast beating of her heart. In the far distance, that kept getting more distant as the ship moved away from it, she could see Fanelia. Some small lights still flickered as signs of awake life. She would go to Fanelia and ask them for their help, she would see Van again...... Concentrating hard, she could feel her back bone crunch and crackle as it made way for the wings trying to escape. Hitomi could feel the small pain as they shot out, snapping one of her dress straps. Extending them as far as they would go, she readied for flight. Suddenly she heard a faint cry from behind her "Hitomi.....wait....." it was barely there. Turning slowly, Hitomi saw Allen standing there, his golden hair billowing in the wind. His clear blue eyes were wide with suprise and grief. "Hitomi, you're a Draconian......?" the words were almost lost in the wailing and the thrumming of the rudders on either side of the Crusade. Without replying his frantic call, she turned, her eyes burning with tears and anger, and jumped from the ship.





Allen ran, out of pure adrenalin he ran, towards Hitomi, trying to stop her. How can this be? his mind screamed. It didn't make sense, how could Hitomi be a Draconian? But Allen knew it was true, he was seeing it with his own eyes. It was real, every part of it was real. He screamed her name again, but even he couldn't hear it, let alone Hitomi. And then he jumped too, reaching out for her hand. It grappled in the air for a moment, and caught hold of something, but it wasn't her. Falling he expected to hit ground, killing him emediately. Instead, he hit the metal of the Crusade, still holding whatever he had grasped. Allen opened his eyes, and stared into the distance, and he saw Hitomi flying with her beautifull white wings toward Fanelia. A broken sob escaped him and tears streamed down his cheeks. He let his grasp free, and a white feather floated away. But he didn't even see it, he closed his eyes and let himself cry. "You know you can't Hitomi......." Allen sobbed, the sound being droned out by the wind. A sudden shrill scream, stopped him emediately and his eyes flared open. She was falling.





The sudden snap caught Hitomi off guard. Her wings buckled and she couldn't straighten them. Why did I do this?! her mind screamed with fear. It had barely been two days since her last moments with Van. They hadn't grown accustomed to flying yet. There was no way they could support her weight for a long span of time. Hitomi was falling and no one could save her. "Oh Van........!!" she cried, wishing he was there to break her fall, to keep her alive. But he wasn't, she was going to die. It seemed as though in that last moment before she hit the ground, she went deaf. The loud wailing of wind in her ears ceased, and everything seemed eerily silent. You're not going to die, I won't let you...... It was someone's voice, in her mind. It wasn't Van, she knew, Hitomi couldn't recognize it. And then there was a picture in her head. At first it was blurry, and Hitomi could only make out the shapes of two people, a man and woman. Then there voices sounded again, and the picture was amazingly clear. You won't die, we won't let you..... Her eyes watered as she realized who they were. Varie and Goau were standing side by side on a sloping field. And Folken, Naria and Eriya were there too. They were all smiling comfortingly, hands entwined with eachother. But why?How? Hitomi asked, not believing they were actually there. Because two people are waiting for you, they need you, we need you to save us, before it's too late...... Hitomi's heart leaped and she asked Van?! hoping with all her soul that that was who they meant. But Varie shook her head, and Hitomi almost cried No, you and my son cannot be, it is someone else, and your son too. Please don't give up now. I know how much you loved Van, and, perhaps, still do. But he loves another more than he could ever love you. Good-luck on your quest..... They all began to fade, and Hitomi cried out My quest? What are you talking about? Who is waiting for me? It just didn't make any sense, what did Varie mean? But her reply was plain You will know when your heart tells you......Then she was gone, and Hitomi hit the ground with a deafening thump.







Her head throbbed, and pain coursed through her body with excruciating force. Hitomi's breathing was slow, and she could barely move. The slightest small snap of a twig sent more lancing pain to her head, and she shrieked in grief and she tried to lift it. The only comfort was the soft feathers of her still outstretched wings. But even on them she could feel dry blood, sticky and foul smelling. At least I'm not dead..... she thought, trying to be optimistic. It didn't work though, and soon gave up in trying to ignore the pain. Suddenly, her highly tuned ears picked up the sound of a pair of boots crashing though the forest. Once, she thought she heard them call out, but it was lost in the dense underbrush. And then all at once, it was louder and whoever it was, ran into what Hitomi thought was a small clearing where she lay. "Hitomi.....!!" they called. It wasn defenitely a man's voice, and she cringed as her head throbbed again. Hitomi could feel their presence beside her, and their hand slowly stroked her cold forehead. "Oh Hitomi no........" the voice was almost a whisper, and a teardrop splashed on her arm. Slowly opening her lush green eyes, she reached out with her trembling arm and touched his shoulder. Her vision cleared and she saw Allen crouched by her side, sobbing into his hands. When she brushed him with her hand, his gasped and let out a small cry. "Hitomi......you're alive!!" he yelled, his now exposed clear blue eyes shining. She smiled and tried to laugh, but all she could make out was a small grunt. "Hitomi I was so worried I thought you had died....." she pressed her finger to his lips silencing him. "I'm ok really, but why did you come? Why didn't you just give me up as dead?' she asked, in a more confident tone. "Because I love you Hitomi." he replied, tears brimming in his eyes again. "I love you so much. I just couldn't give up, because what if you were alive?" Suddenly, the knot of grief and sorrow that had buried itself inside of her, was gone. And she was filled with the feeling she had only experienced once before. All the sadness that had followed her around since Sirus had died had now flown away like a released dove. There was so much happines, now. "Oh Allen....." she cried, tears streaming down her face. "I love you too....." She pulled him closer and his lips brushed against hers. It was then that she realized what Varie had meant. Allen had been the one waiting for her. He loved her with all his heart, and now she loved him back. She knew it wasn't the infatuation from years ago, her heart had chosen him now, because it felt so right. "Oh Hitomi....." he whispered, his hands gliding through her long hair. "You're so beautifull. I'm never going to let you go...." And then she was lost in his sweet kiss, feeling joy again.