by NightsDawne
Chapter 8: When Wrapping Paper Flies
Ward carried Veddy out of the bathroom, the toddler having required major cleaning after his double fisted method of consuming his father's cake. Kiros and Laguna finished stacking all of Veddy's presents in one spot. Laguna sat back on his heels. "Okay, I think that's all of them. Turn him loose, Ward."
The big man grinned and set Veddy down carefully. Seifer pointed to the pile with the hand that wasn't holding the camcorder. "Okay, kid, go get 'em!" Veddy gave a squeal of delight and raced into the pile, knocking it over and sprawling in brightly colored wrapped boxes.
Kiros rasied a brow as Veddy seemed content to think of his presents as blocks and merely chewed on the corner of one. "New tactic. I say we help him out."
"Not you, Irvine." Seifer grabbed the cowboy's belt to keep him from bouncing over to the pile. "You'll forget you're helping him and start playing."
"Thought that was the point." Irvine sat back down with a pout as the three older men fell to helping Veddy get a few packages opened to give him the idea. As soon as it dawned on the little boy that there were goodies inside his blocks, he eagerly started digging tiny fingers into paper and ripping, squealing and giggling so much he was in danger of oxygen deprivation.
Squall pulled the other presents out from under the tree, neatly stacking them in piles for each recipient. "Okay, ready." He paused to look at Veddy's pile, the toddler's presence only indicated by wild rustling under a mountain of torn paper. "He's going to hurt himself."
"You ask me, we could have saved a lot of money and just gotten him the paper." Seifer grinned, panning the camera around. "Give Irvine something before he pisses himself, will you?"
Squall pushed Irvine's pile over to him to stop him from bouncing on the couch in anticipation. "We need something to put the paper in. Don't make a mess." He sighed as Irvine displayed the same thrill with unwrapping as his son, ripping the paper off the first package and tossing it over his shoulder.
"PURPLE RC JEEP!" Irvine tore through the box to get it out, then started a frantic search for batteries as everyone else started opening their presents.
"Guess he likes it." Seifer laughed, setting the camera on the coffee table to run while he opened up his gifts. "Whoa, fucking cool. Gunblader 3."
Squall neatly broke the tape on his first present, then folded the paper. "Well, you need games for your gameboy. This way we can fight and you won't be able to cheat."
"And I'll still kick your ass." Seifer eyed Squall. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Unwrapping my present."
"You planning on wrapping it up again?"
"No."
"Then why are you saving the fucking paper?"
"It's nice paper."
Seifer rolled his eyes. "It's going to take you 'til New Year to get through them at that rate."
"I just don't feel like making a mess."
"You're supposed to make a mess at Solstice."
"I don't."
"Just tear it."
"They're my presents, Seifer, I can open them the way I want to open them!"
"I'll help you out when I'm done with mine." Seifer ripped open another package as Irvine's Jeep off-roaded its way over the rest of his presents. "Cowboy, stop playing and get to the rest of your stuff."
"Let him play." Squall frowned. "You don't always have to tell everyone what to do."
"Yeah, I do. Open the box, dumbass."
Squall glared at Seifer before opening the box up. ".... The collector's edition complete box set of Cowboy Bebop?! And all of the soundtrack cds?!" He looked to Irvine and Seifer with a grin. "How did you two pay for this? Am I going to find unexpected charges on my credit card bill?"
Seifer laughed. "We sold Irvine's body."
"No, we didn't!" Irvine snickered and smacked Seifer's arm. "We skipped trainin' a couple times a week and worked in the paddocks."
Squall raised his brow. "You shoveled rexaur shit to get me this?"
"Yeah, we did." Seifer leaned over to mess up Squall's hair. "So you better damn well like it."
Squall put the box set down, then tackled Seifer in a hug. "Yes! You know I do!" He kissed the blond, then threw himself on Irvine, rolling him to the floor for a similar display of gratitude. "I love you guys."
Seifer sat up, shaking his head. "Shit. Now we're never going to get the tv."
Laguna watched Squall from the corner of his eye as presents continued to be unwrapped. He was starting to feel a bit anxious about his present to his son. It felt like a now or never chance at bridging the gap between them. Maybe he should have gotten him something expensive, but he wasn't out to buy Squall's affection. He chewed his lip, wondering if Squall would think it sappy or sentimental or even just completely inappropriate.
Squall grabbed his last package before Seifer could open it for him. "I've got it, alright?"
"You open presents like you drive. Like an old lady."
"I do not. I'm surprised you didn't destroy half your things going through them like a dragon on crack."
"I got them all open at least."
Irvine interceded, steering his Jeep into Seifer's feet. "He's only got one more ta go, gorgeous. Go ahead and open it, darlin'. Who's it from?"
Squall looked at the tag. ".... Laguna." He blew his hair out of his eyes and turned it over, opening it even more slowly than he did the rest of his presents. He couldn't imagine what his father got him, but it was probably something incredibly stupid. He spent the time while the paper was coming off preparing himself to offer a fake smile and a muttered thanks, but as it fell away from the framed photo he only furrowed his brow in silence.
Laguna got up and walked over to sit down on the couch. "I know it's not much. I just thought you might like it."
Squall studied the picture of a young Laguna, his arm around a woman he knew was his mother, Raine, a three year old Ellone on Laguna's shoulders. Both Laguna and Raine had their left hands raised to show off a pair of wedding rings. "This was taken right before you left?"
Laguna nodded softly. "It's the only complete family picture I had. She must have been about a month pregnant with you in that photo." Laguna scratched his hair. "I didn't have one of just her and Ellone. I know you probably would have liked that better."
Squall traced his finger over Raine's face, the feminine version of his own. Even looking at the camera it was obvious in her eyes how much she loved the man standing at her side. "Not really," he said quietly. "It's a family photo. It's supposed to have a family in it." He looked up at Laguna, a faint hint of a smile on his lips. "Are you really sure you don't want to keep it?"
Laguna took a deep breath and let it out, looking down at his hands. "I can see her in my mind every time I close my eyes. I want you to have it. There should have been lots of famliy photos, but if there's only one, you deserve it."
Squall swallowed, looking back at the photo. "Thanks.. Dad."
Seifer clamped his hand over Irvine's mouth before he could say anything and ruin the fragile magic of the moment, then pulled him onto his lap to whisper in his ear. "Let Squall be, babe. It's time he figured out how wise an idiot his dad can be."
Squall drew his knees to his chest, sipping from his mug of spiced cider as he watched the lights dance on the surface of the swimming pool. He could hear the others still inside, finishing up their dinners, the low mumble of conversation regularly punctuated by outbursts of laughter. He shivered a bit at the chilly breeze of the desert winter night and looked up at the myriad of stars in the clear sky above with a sigh. He'd never been very good at sorting out his feelings, but he couldn't do it at all unless he was alone.
It wasn't like Laguna had changed at all. He was still an airhead, still goofy, still embarrassing. Not that anyone else seemed to find him embarrassing. They found him charming and fun. Maybe it was only family that could make someone feel so humiliated, but that meant Laguna was family. Not just a blood relative, but his father, his dad.
All his life as far back as he could remember, Squall had lived without a father or anyone else in his life. He could remember his older sister Ellone from the orphanage. He had clung to her, devestated when she was adopted without him, and had refused afterwards to let anyone get that close until he met Irvine and fell in love. Things should be complete for him, now. He had Irvine and Seifer, two men he loved and who loved him in return, his soulmate and his protector. So why had it hit him so hard when Laguna made his toast the night before, when he saw how happy it made his father to have family around him? He had heard the need in Laguna's voice, seen in his eyes how he was the fill for it. He wasn't sure which had scared him more, the idea that he was needed or the thought that maybe, just maybe, he needed Laguna as well.
It didn't make sense to need a father. He was eighteen, a hero, the SeeD commander. He could take care of himself. Or at least make a good show of doing it. Irvine was the only one who always saw past the act and knew how vulnerable and mixed up he could be, and Seifer, although with him Squall was never sure if he understood him or was just probing for weaknesses. Still, there was a void even his lovers couldn't fill. He wanted family, a past, someone who knew where he came from and could tell him where to go from here.
Squall hung his head at the confession, even though it was only to himself. Why couldn't he be like Irvine, able to build a family from anyone, happy with his friends and easily slipping into a bond with Kiros like a surrogate son, or even Seifer, strong, independant, needing nobody. But even Seifer had admitted he needed people, needed him. And Seifer had his own surrogate father in Headmaster Cid, turning to him for advice over the years, striving to make Cid proud of him even if he could never follow orders. Squall wondered what it felt like to have someone like that.
Squall tensed slightly as he heard the door open behind him quietly and close again. He lifted his head, but didn't look back. Probably Irvine, come to find out if he was okay. He kept his eyes on the water as he felt the intruder sit down next to him.
"I brought you your jacket. It gets pretty cold here at night." Squall started at the voice, looking over to see Laguna, Squall's black leather jacket in his hand.
"... " Squall stopped himself before he gave his automatic response of 'whatever' and set his mug down to put the jacket on. "Thanks."
Laguna smiled. "I come out here to think, too. Look up at the stars and try to imagine myself home."
"You are home." Squall picked up his mug. "You live here."
"Well, yeah, but that's not what I meant." Laguna tucked his hair behind his ear. "Home is where the heart is. This is just a residence."
Squall glanced over, his curiosity piqued. "... So where is home?"
"Winhill. With your mother and Ellone. And you, if things hadn't gotten so screwed up. But then, I guess if you'd grown up in a small town in Galbadia you wouldn't have been a hero and the world would be gone now. Or maybe you would have. I think it was your destiny. It's just selfishness on my part, wishing with all my heart that I'd been able to watch you grow up."
"You wouldn't have become president of Esthar, then. You'd have been just some guy who fought monsters."
Laguna shook his head. "I would have been something more important than a president. I would have been a dad."
Squall stared down into his mug. "Yeah, well, Ellone says you can't change the past."
"Nope, you can't." Laguna sighed. "But you can change the future."
"I guess. If you're a dreamer."
Laguna looked over with a bit of a smile. "You've got dreams, Squall. Everyone does."
"Not really." Squall shrugged.
"There must be something that would make you happy."
"I'm happy now." Squall hoped it sounded more convincing than it seemed to him. ".... Laguna?"
"Yeah?"
Squall chewed on his lip. "Are you proud of me?" He couldn't believe how stupid that sounded. He felt crimson sneaking to his face.
Laguna grinned. "I don't have much right to, I didn't contribute much to your upbringing. But the answer is yes, more than words could ever express."
"Because I'm a hero?"
"No." Laguna put his hand on Squall's shoulder. "Because you're you. Because you do everything you can even when you aren't sure of why you're doing it. Because you put your life on the line and don't back down. Because you chose to care even though it meant letting down your guard and opening yourself up to pain. Because you aren't giving up on finding out who you really are, even if it's uncomfortable at times. Because I know in the end you'll find your dream and nothing will stand in your way."
Squall smiled a bit as something like warmth spread across his chest. "You're supposed to say something stupid."
Laguna chuckled. "Sorry, don't mean to disappoint you. I'm sure if I think for a bit I can come up with something truly braindead."
"Um, no, you don't have to." Squall ran his hand through his hair.
"I know I said this before, but I'm really glad you came, Squall."
Squall turned his head to look at the man next to him, someone who had nothing at all in common with him besides some dna, except for maybe a quiet inner courage and the heart of a lion. "... Me too, Dad."
Irvine peeked over Seifer's shoulder as the blond watched the two through the french doors. "Whatcha thinkin', gorgeous?"
Seifer grinned, stroking Wasabi's chin. "Guess birthday wishes do come true."
[Finished way late, but finished. Now to finish the rewrite of Cupid's Trio 4 and get on with Cupid's Trio 5 before Fuu kicks me in the shins. ;)]
