Chapter 2

I can't believe it, he loves me. I still have trouble believing he loves me...even after last night. Oh Allah, now that was fun. Who thought he'd have that much energy?

I smile as I check my latest e-mail. Duo and I had, well...gotten together just a couple days ago. It all happened quite fast really. I frown a bit as I remember.

~I opened the door to our latest safe house quietly, it was about 2:00 am. and I had just returned from a short mission. I was trying to be really quiet as I came in, tip-toeing across the living room towards the shower. I wanted to take a shower and surprise my koi. Trowa thought I'd be back in a couple of days but the mission finished early. I was so happy to come home and see him, I thank Allah every time I make it home after a mission. ~

~I stub my toe on what I think is a chair and bite my lip to keep from making a noise as I hop toward our bedroom, Trowas' and mine. As much as I love the taller boy, I still can't help but glancing a Duo's door. I mean, I'm happy with Trowa, really I am. But I, well...I really like Duo too. I'd never cheat on Trowa, not ever. I sigh and decide to forego the shower tonight. I'm way too tired to even navigate across the living room without hitting something to be safe in the shower. I stop as I near the door to My and Trowa's room. I think I hear a sound coming from inside, I'm not sure though. Funny, I think quietly, Trowa never makes a sound...even if he's dreaming. He hardly makes a sound when he makes love to me. Maybe he's awake then. Turning the knob, I slowly push open the door and gasp in shock. There, right before my eyes, is Trowa...my emerald eyed koi. His body has a fine sheen of sweat on it and he's moaning softly. That's when I realize he's not alone. There's someone under him, someone's adding their soprano voice to his lower alto based moans. I quietly step a little to the side to get a view of this intruder. Trowa doesn't see me, he's too wrapped up in what he's doing to the person below him. The person below him, right...the person whose hair is tangled and matted to their forehead. The person who my Trowa is moaning for as he pleasures himself ruthlessly. He'd hardly ever utter a sound when he was with me, not a sound. There's a pain in my chest and a wash of emotions hit me as I realize the person underneath him. Anger, disbelief, fear, denial, and last of all, an extreme sense of betrayal and sadness. All because of this person, this one person. Red lips, messy chocolate hair. The emotions filter out to leave me with anger as I see Trowa's hand reach up to grab the intruders breast. Yes, breast. If it was Heero or WuFei, I could stand it. Duo even...but no, he left me for a girl. With my anger in charge of my thoughts, and a terrible pain in my chest, I close the distance between myself and he moaning couple. Finally, Trowa notices my presence and I see shock in his eyes. The shock his quickly expended and is replaced with a cold look I've only ever seen on Heeros' face as he continues to thrust into the nameless female below him. I lose it then, I reached out to the quiet European boy at the beginning of the war...and I reached out to him now. But this time it was with a fist. That taken care of, I leave him sprawled with a sore jaw over the interloping whore I found in our bed. His bed, I don't belong there anymore. I stalk out of the room and stop in the hallway, where would I go? I look to my left, Heero's Room, WuFei's a little farther down. To my right, the door to Duo's room. In front of me, the door to the street. Trying to decide, I spin around in the hall, looking up at the ceiling for guidance, damning and praising Allah interchangeably. The door to Duo's room creaks a bit and I think I hear something from that end of the hall. Biting my lip, I slowly walk down to the braided pilots' door.~

I shake my head and lean back in my chair, away from the computer temporarily. Memories make my chest hurt. I spin around on the chair halfheartedly and a rueful smile lands on my lips. Chuckling to myself I get up and go to the fridge for a drink. My eye catches on something colourful on the fridge door, beside Duo's collection of Chibi-Gundam magnets, it's a note written in the magnetic letters Duo always had with him. I chuckle to myself again, remembering the day I had come into the hanger to hear WuFei ranting about the injustice of an 'I love you Ch-Chang!' message on Shenlong's foot. Duo ran over and grabbed back his coveted letters before WuFei could throw them out. The braided boy threw WuFei a lopsided grin and gave me the peace sign when he walked back my way, showing me his letters.

I looked closer at the message on the fridge and another smile comes to my lips.'I love ya Q-man! Forever mine...I went out with Hilde to get some groceries. Be back soon, I'll bring Catherine and her knives back for Trowa!!!' I laughed at the last part. Catherine, although always seeming to hate me for turning Trowa away from females, was being surprisingly supportive of me. She even threatened to hit Trowa accidentally the next time they had an act.

I giggled to myself as I opened the door and reached into the fridge to find a jug of Kool-Aid right at the front. It was one of Duo's favorite kinds because, according to him, 'it was scythe green'. There was a paper note stuck on that as well. I plucked it off, 'I made ya my special Scythe Kool-Aid!!! 2.5 times the recommended amount of sugar to get ya hyper by the time I come back!!!' I practically went into a giggling fit from that one, earning me a half-glare from Heero, who was working at his laptop on the kitchen table. I mutter an apology and poor myself a glass of the lime-kiwi Kool-Aid. Taking a long swig of it, I carry the now half-empty glass back over to the computer. I sit back down and scroll through the latest e-mails from the Maguenaques, answering them as methodically as I have everyday of my life. I still make sure they'll never become cold hearted, I always respond politely and warmly, but it's been happening for over three years now so it's a bit of a routine. I drift back off into my memories.

~I knocked softly on Duo's door, not wanting to wake him if he wasn't already awake. I told him it was me and asked if he was awake. He grumbled something negative. Dejectedly I turned to leave, not taking more then three steps down the hallway before I heard scrambling, muffled curses, and felt a hand grab my leg, at which I squeaked in surprise. I looked down startled, to find Duo on his back, tangled up in his sheets, and holding the leg of my pants for dear life, telling me to come back in. I tried to form a smile to give him, but I guess it came out kind of sad because he practically pushed me into his room with a worried look on his beautiful face. You don't see Duo worried often, he's always strong and playing it cool. Something to be sure is going to be there through this war, and I guess that's all we need, something to lean on. I sat down on his bed nervously as he inquired about what was bothering me. The pain in my chest grew larger and more sharp and I knew I couldn't contain it any longer. I burst out in tears and buried my head in his shoulder, explaining everything to him. I also confessed my love for him, love that I've had since I first saw the braided boy. So beautiful, so strong, and so wild looking...I knew I would eventually fall for him, even if I had Trowa or not.~

~I begged, yes begged, him to take me. Have his way with me. Looking back on it as I am now...it wasn't too smart a thing to do. I was just trying for revenge at Trowa, I needed to feel wanted, I thought I needed to be fucked into oblivion like that whore under Trowa was. With any other person, even Trowa, I would've gotten my wish. But Duo, my Duo, he refused me. At the time I took it as out-right rejection and almost ran out on him. He stopped me though, and explained himself...that he wouldn't feel comfortable taking advantage of me in the state I was in. I understood and we went back to his room to talk, I feel asleep in his arms. I've never done that with Trowa, he always fell asleep first and preferred not to be touched while asleep. Duo was different, he let me cry out my sorrows and fall asleep, him cooing to me and running his fingers through my hair as I fell asleep with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.~

~I woke up the next morning to find him gone. I panicked temporarily until he bounded through the door with a huge smile on his face, proclaiming that he had ordered out breakfast for the whole group. He hurried me out of bed and I came face to face with Trowa, who quickly averted his eyes. Duo just slung a protective arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the cheek as he lead me to the table where WuFei, and Heero were already seated. I sat down, followed by Trowa, who still wouldn't meet my gaze. Duo bounced into the kitchen, still full of energy so early in the morning, and bounced back out carrying plates and plates of French toast, pancakes, waffles, and everything else you could ever imagine. He plopped them down in front of us and plopped himself down in his seat. Everybody dug in.~

~Following breakfast, WuFei left to talk over something with 'that damned onna' who we've discovered as Sally Po, and Duo and Heero left to do some touch ups on their respective Gundams. That left me alone with Trowa. Trying to avoid him as much as possible, I headed for the shower and closed the door in his face, rude of me, I know...but I was scared. After finishing my much needed shower I felt better though, and walked into Trowa and my shared room to grab some clothing. I met Trowa there on the bed. He just looked at me for awhile with those emerald eyes of his. He eventually spoke to me, explaining his reasons and excuses, and profusely apologizing to me for his actions. I agreed to forgive and forget...but I'm still having trouble with the forget. Trowa also let me know that it was Duo who had made him realize how wrong he'd been. I made a huge mental note to thank Duo when he got back that night and I did...three times.~

The computer screen beeps, waking me out of my reverie. I open the new e-mail and curse fluently in Arabic as I discover it's a mission. I de-code it and commit the details to memory. Shutting down the computer I notify Heero of my mission and its' location, for future reference if need be. I then pack my stuff and stop by the fridge on my way out the door, re-arranging the letters as a note for Duo. Kissing my hand, I place it under the note and walk quickly out the door as a tear falls from my cheek and I bid a silent good bye to my koi.

"Du-koi, a mission came up. I'll be back in a week, tops. Love you with all my heart. ~Quatre"