Chapter 9

"It's happened to me before too."

That statement causes my sobs to quit, if only for the moment. He's been through the same thing? Maybe...maybe he'll not stop loving me...

I move closer to the door as he sighs and his voice comes through again, heavier, like he;s trying to recount it without feeling it.

"When I was younger, way before I met G, I lived on the streets. You knew this, didn't you?"

I nod, then realize he can't see me. "Uh-huh."

"A group of us lived on L2. Me'n Solo and the gang. Solo was my best friend, he was the leader of our group. We'd go out together, him and me, and sometimes the rest of the group, and steal food for everyone. He'd always make sure everyone else had their fill, sometimes not even eating any of what he stole. He got sick after a while, like a lot of the kids did. It was cold out, and both of us figured it was just the flu. But, it...it just kept getting worse. Weeks went by, and I couldn't leave his side, sending the other kids out to get the food. I was afraid I'd lose him."

A shaky sigh comes from the other side of the door. I've never heard any of this before...I knew he lived on the streets, and all of us know about the Maxwell Church...but this is something he's kept inside all this time.

"I found out that it wasn't the flu, it was the plague. I heard some officers talkin' about it one of the rare times I came back from gettin' medicine for the other kids. It seems the whole colony was having an outbreak. But, there was a vaccine, a cure. I listened to 'em talk for hours, outside under the window in the snow, until I found out where it was. I went there that night—Solo was only gettin' worse—and stole enough for the whole lot of us kids. In short, Solo wouldn't take it, said he was too far gone anyway, and he died later that morning."

I hear him take another shaky breath as he continues. His speech was getting more halting, and he was speaking with more slang, something he only ever did when he was mad, or recalling something from his days on the street.

"From then on I was their leader. This was, we had spent so much time, all of us inside 'cause of the cold and the sickness, that we had no food. With only the rich people being able to afford the cure, a lot of other people where bed-ridden too, leavin' shops closed and the like. We all needed food and t seemed the only way to get it was to get money. Me, bein' the oldest and now their leader and all, I too it upon myself to find ways to get money. I tried beggin' and stealin', but there weren't enough on the street for me to get a dime. I had one choice left, something Solo had only ever done once for all of us when things were the absolute worst. It killed him to do it, but it saved our group when he did, an' it looked like I'd have to do the same thing."

He coughed, which sounded suspiciously like a choked-back sob. There were a few moments of silence, me too afraid to break the mood of the boy that so rarely told anyone about his past, and him, I'm guessing, trying to get enough courage to go on.

"I—I went to the richer part of town, the part where people were still livin', and stood on the corner. Offerin' myself to people who passed until I got a customer. Sometimes they wouldn't pay, and they were never gentle. I had to do this for a long time to get us all through that winter, and I was never proud of what I did."

"Duo..."

* * *

"You see Quatre..." I turn my head so my cheek's against the door, trying to hold back the tears and bury the memories I had to dig up. "I know where you are right now, I know how you're feeling. But please," I bite my lip and pull myself to my feet, "please don't do what I did for so many years after that. Don't push others away..."

I stand here, face down and my eyes shut, hoping against hope he won't make the mistake I did. Knowing the pain he went through, feeling what he felt, and just plain remembering. "Let me in..." I whisper so softly I'm not even sure I heard it myself.

The next thing I know I have arms around my waist and a quietly sobbing, slightly damp mass snuggled onto my chest. I smile softly when I open my eyes to see my Angel clinging to me, and wrap my arms around him, holding him as tight as I can without worsening his injuries. I bury my head in his hair and finally let the tears I had been holding in for so many years, fall quietly as I join my love.