James Cameron and Charles Eglee own Dark Angel. My use is in no way meant to challenge their copyrights. This piece is not intended for any profit on the part of the writer, nor is it meant to detract from the commercial viability of the aforementioned (or any other) copyright. Any similarity to any events or persons (either real or fictional) is unintended.
Once You're In, You Can Never Get Out
Logan Cale hung up his phone slowly, his rage finally displacing the shock he had felt a couple of hours earlier. In all of his time as Eyes Only, he had never seen such a chain of events. Every bit of information he had gained had led him to believe that Ricardo Rico was making a major push for power within Seattle. Eyes Only would have to do whatever it took to push back.
A soft knock from the front door distracted Logan's attention away from his never-ending crusade, and he moved his wheelchair toward the front of the apartment, both wondering who would be stopping by unannounced, and hoping he could get rid of his guest quickly. He opened the front door and came face to face with Max. Too shocked to say a single word, Logan simply stared at his wayward friend.
"Hi," Max said, slowly shifting her weight from one foot to the other and going well out of her way to avoid making any eye contact.
"Hi," Logan muttered back. He was thankful that she had said something. At least that gave him a cue with which he could work. "What do you want?" Jeez, that sounded bad, he realized immediately. Logan didn't want to seem standoffish, but he had no real idea of how he should act.
"Can I come in?" Max asked softly, still avoiding eye contact.
"Why?" Logan asked, noticing his voice seemed to hold a tinge of hostility that he had not intended.
"Can we talk?" Max asked. "Or maybe just play a game of chess?"
"Where's Rory?" Logan asked. "Why don't you just go home and play chess with him? You two seem well suited for each other." The words kept coming from Logan's lips despite the fact that he just wanted to shut up and try to be civil. He knew his brain was operating on automatic pilot, and he was powerless to stop it. He had simply envisioned this moment too many times, and in virtually every scenario he had ended up getting hurt once again. He figured that subconsciously he was probably trying to stop that from happening.
"Play chess with Rory..." Max commented, as if she was starting to seriously consider the idea. "Would you play with someone that cheats incessantly?" she asked. "Would you tolerate someone that kept talking and playing obnoxious music just to throw you off your game? Do you think you could tolerate playing against someone that was all too likely to move pieces around to gain an advantage every time you turned your back?"
"No, I guess not," Logan admitted.
"Yeah, well, neither could Rory," Max said, the faintest hint of a smile appearing at the corner of her mouth. As soon as it had appeared, it had vanished, but Logan knew it had been there.
"Was that a joke?" Logan asked.
"Did you think it was funny?"
"Sort of."
"Then it was a joke," Max replied. "Sort of." Once again the smile flashed briefly, but this time it had stayed a slight bit longer. Logan was certain that Max was trying to be friendly. The one thing he couldn't figure out was why.
"Come on in to my humble abode," he said with a flourish of his hand as he backed his wheelchair out of the doorway.
"Thanks," Max said, walking in hesitantly, as if it were her first time inside. "Is Bling around?"
"No, his brother was having car trouble, so Bling went to help him out a bit," Logan said. "Too bad you weren't here, you might have been able to help or something." Where the hell did that come from? he wondered immediately, surprised that his unbidden speech had taken an abrupt turn from confrontational to ingratiating.
"Yeah, too bad," Max agreed. Her eyes were scrutinizing every detail of the living room, just as she had the first time Logan had invited her over two years earlier. Her behavior seemed strange to him, especially after she had once grown so comfortable in the apartment.
"So you said you wanted to talk?" Logan asked.
"Uh, yeah," Max replied. Logan noticed she had started to wring her hands slightly, and though she had apparently completed whatever scan of her surroundings she was accustomed to taking, she was still avoiding eye contact. I've never seen her this nervous about anything, he mused. Even the first time we met and security was facing her down, she hadn't even batted an eyelash. I wonder what's wrong.
"You want to have a seat for a few minutes?" Logan asked. "I'm planning on a report pretty soon, and I figured I'd start up the hack programs." The computer would need some time to break the latest encryption codes of the satellites he would transmit through, so that would give him at least a half-hour to talk to Max. Usually Logan would have used the time to figure out exactly what he was going to say, but he decided it would be better to spend the time with an old friend. It wasn't like he'd be able to concentrate on throwing together a report anyway as long as he was wondering what was on her mind.
"You want me to make some tea while you're busy in there?" Max offered
"Sure." Logan went into the next room and set about work. By the time he had re-emerged from his study, he could hear the whistling of his teapot on the stove.
"Perfect timing," Max commented, not bothering to turn around to see Logan. He was warmed by the familiar experience of having her talk to him when he entered a room, no matter how quiet he had ever tried to be. It was the little things, like her augmented hearing preventing him from ever being able to sneak up, that he had missed so much.
"If you look in the cabinet you'll see a collection of herbal teas," Logan suggested.
"You don't keep them all in the jar anymore?" Max asked.
"No, I just keep the regular teabags in there," Logan replied. "I make a lot of iced tea these days, so keeping the regular teabags on the counter is easier for me. I really hardly ever drink the herbal stuff anymore."
"That's too bad," Max commented. "I've always pictured you sitting in your office drinking your Lemon Zinger tea as you plot the downfall of another criminal." Logan could only smile in response. "You have anything to go with this?" Max asked.
"Not what you're probably looking for," Logan answered. He knew what she wanted – Stella D'Oro Breakfast Treats. Max had always enjoyed having them with her Almond Sunset tea, but he hadn't wanted them in his home since she had walked out. They had reminded him of her, and that was not something he liked.
"You just want the regular stuff?" Max asked.
"Sure," Logan responded, making a concerted effort to force his voice to sound as pleasant as possible. Once again he thought back to all of the times he had imagined Max coming by his apartment, and never had he guessed it would be like this. He glanced quickly at his watch – ten minutes and we haven't had an argument yet, he marveled. I never would have thought it possible.
"In the living room?" Max asked, already moving toward the coffee table where she had always sat when the two had used to talk. She slipped out of her tennis shoes as she walked, and when she sat down she curled her feet up on the couch and wrapped them in the purple afghan blanket that Logan had just received from his aunt. "What ever happened to the other blanket?" Max asked. Logan knew immediately the one she was talking about – it was a light blanket with a screen depicting a pride of lions on a plain. It had been the one Max had always used for her feet so long ago.
"I put that one away," Logan replied, knowing that Max would know what he meant. "Do you think I should take it back out again?"
"Let's not rush into anything," Max said with a thin smile. This time it stayed on her lips as she took a hesitant sip of her steaming tea.
"So what do you want to talk about?" Logan asked. When he had first seen Max at his door, he had partially expected that she had come by because of what had happened the night before. Her mood was so light, though, that he had decided it was something else entirely. Her attitude smacked of the visit being a social call, not a business meeting.
"I think I'd like to talk about us," Max said simply. She looked away from Logan and focused on her tea, as if she was searching for the meaning of life in the ripples that formed on the liquid's surface as she blew softly across it to cool it.
"Oh," Logan said awkwardly. Ok, this still isn't going as I had expected, he decided.
"I was talking with Rory most of yesterday and long into the night," Max explained, "and he made me realize a lot of stuff about what I've been doing."
"Really?" Logan asked.
"Please don't interrupt," Max said quickly. "This isn't exactly easy for me."
"Oh," Logan said apologetically.
"I'm sorry, Logan," Max said softly, uttering the words Logan had never expected to hear. He doubted that Max was aware of how truly contrite and compassionate her voice sounded. He felt what he thought was the beginning of a tear welling up in his eye, but he stifled the feeling.
"Sorry for what?" Logan asked, wanting to be certain that Max was saying what he thought she was.
"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," Max explained. "I'm sorry I disregarded all of you advice. Most of all, I'm sorry I walked out on you. It was probably the worst decision I've ever made in my life."
"Oh," Logan said again, unable to find any other words. Yep, this doesn't even faintly resemble any way I've ever imagined this conversation. He wondered briefly if he was dreaming, and tried to stand. His failure convinced him he was awake – had he been dreaming, he would have been able to walk.
"Everything I've been doing," Max said softly, "I think it could have been done better. I can't keep doing this."
"You just suddenly came to this conclusion?" Logan asked, unable to hide the cynicism in his voice. "This seems to have come out of the blue."
"I know," Max admitted. "I think I reached an epiphany, though. I've been miserable doing what I've been doing, but I ignored it all because I was convinced of the righteousness of my cause. Then I almost killed one of my friends the other night. I guess he's gotten involved in something he shouldn't have. You could say it was the camel that broke my straw back."
"I'm sorry," Logan said. "I guess that could explain the suddenness a bit."
"Yeah," Max replied. "It's okay, though. I'm gonna swing by his place in a couple of days and try to make sure he's doing alright."
"And until then?"
"I have to figure out a code of conduct for myself," Max replied. "I can't keep going out there like some avenging angel of death."
"I know," Logan said. And what do you plan to do about all of the deaths that are already on your hands? he asked silently, though he dared not utter the words. He knew that if Max kept following this path of reform, she would come to that matter on her own soon enough.
"How did it all come to this?" Max asked, her eyes suddenly boring into Logan's. "How could that carefree girl I was turn into what I've become?"
"I don't know," Logan admitted, "but you have to admit that your childhood probably had something to do with it. Lydecker told me once that all of the X-5's were designed to kill, that all any of you needed was a trigger. I don't think he simply meant that your augmented bodies were good at the work, either. It was something more than that – he seemed absolutely certain that your psyches would lead you down that road. I think he might even have been disappointed that at that point, none of you had yet become what you eventually did."
"So are you telling me I'm gonna need years of expensive therapy?" Max asked sarcastically. "You expect me to lie on some shrink's couch, telling him about the mother I never knew and the 'father' I wish I hadn't?"
"Let's not go overboard," Logan said. "Why don't we restrict relaxing couch time to my apartment? We'll just treat your problem like we would an alcoholic's. You'll have to do most of the work yourself, but you can count on me to be here for you if you need support." Logan thought briefly of his wife and the interventions he had performed for her. He also thought of the failed attempts at rehab, and the pain he and she had caused each other each time she fell back off the wagon. Logan hoped Max would be different. He needed Max to be different. As much as Logan cared about his fellow man, as much as he sacrificed for everyone in the city, he doubted his ability to withstand another close, personal relationship where so much support was required of him.
"I'll do my best," Max assured him. "I guess that's all I can really do, isn't it?"
"Then I'll help you as much as I can, as long as you're serious about this," Logan promised.
"I'm serious," Max swore, her expression full of resolve. Logan sat in thought for a few moments, considering his next words. He knew exactly what he would be getting himself into, but he also knew he had already promised Rory that he would do whatever it took to get Max back on track. Rory had apparently done a great deal of his part; now it was up to Logan to keep Max focused on her goal.
"Alright," Logan finally said, "I won't let you down as long as you show commitment toward leaving your alter ego behind you." He suddenly looked at his watch, and then started to shift his chair toward his study. "My computer should be done getting its communications hacks in place by now. Let me go and do this quick broadcast, and you can tell me about the kinder, gentler Max that you and Rory have come up with."
"Great," Max said with a smile as Logan wheeled himself into his study. As she watched him go, she felt the happiness within her well up into an overwhelming sensation of joy. Logan had welcomed her back more easily than she had ever dared hope. After his initial hostility, he had come around almost immediately, and within minutes the two of them had fallen back within their old patterns.
"Do not attempt to adjust your set," Max heard Logan begin. Her smile broadened as she listened to his voice and recalled all the times she had sat in his living room as he went about broadcasting the 'real' news in Seattle. She had always been so proud of him, and so glad for herself for having met him. He had helped her grow in ways she had never expected or thought possible. "This is a Streaming Freedom Video bulletin. The cable hack will last exactly 60 seconds. It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped, and it is the only free voice left in the city." Damn, he sounds so dramatic when he gets into his work, Max thought. It's pretty sexy.
"Last night, the underworld boss Ricardo Rico reportedly made a drastic move for power," Eyes Only stated. Max could hear the edge of anger in her friend's voice, and wondered exactly what had happened as she and Rory had been going about refining her persona. "The families of seven good, honest cops were brutally murdered last night, presumably in a show of strength meant to break the wills of those that stood for justice and honor. Five wives, one husband, and thirteen children, all executed in a few hours' time. Many cops already on the take are likely more convinced than ever that they should leave the city's kingpins of crime to their own devices, while the few remaining good cops are left to wonder if standing up for what they believe in is worth the price. Meanwhile, six good men and women are forced to wonder what they could have done differently to protect the ones they loved. The seventh, Detective Robert Lane, a decorated officer with seventeen years' experience, took his own life shortly after hearing of the tragedy that had befallen his family."
My God, Max thought, fury welling up within her. Is this my fault? Maybe if I had been out on the streets this wouldn't have happened. Maybe Rory is wrong. After all, it's not like he's seen the things I've seen. All these bastards understand is brute force, and that's what it'll take to make them back down. A kinder, gentler me is not what it takes to get the job done.
"Today, the city's police, both honest and corrupt alike, mourn the deaths of those that they knew and loved," Eyes Only continued. "Now the question remains – what will they do about claiming justice against the guilty?"
Logan tapped a key on his computer and the hack was disconnected. He had, of course, known that the story would come out within a few hours anyway, as the police would never be able to cover up such an event. Despite the desire of the city's leaders to make it appear that its police force was untouchable, it was inevitable that word would leak. Still, Logan had doubted that Rico's name would have been connected with the crimes in the official reports, so he still felt satisfaction with his efforts. For the time being, though, he knew he had done all he could.
He wheeled his chair back into the living room, looking forward to continuing his conversation with Max, but found the room empty. "Max?" he called out, though he knew in his heart there would be no answer. She hadn't known about what Rico did, he concluded. She heard my report, and decided that Justice would have to respond. He put his face in his hands and rubbed his stubble with his fingertips, trying to ease the confusion in his head. All of his hopes had been dashed in a minute, just as long as it took for Eyes Only to make a simple report.
Please, Max, don't do anything foolish, Logan pleaded silently. You had the right idea, don't give in to the temptation of claiming an eye for an eye. That's not justice, that's vengeance, and it'll only lead to more death.
To be continued.............................
