James Cameron and Charles Eglee own Dark Angel. My use is in no way meant to challenge their copyrights. This piece is not intended for any profit on the part of the writer, nor is it meant to detract from the commercial viability of the aforementioned (or any other) copyright. Any similarity to any events or persons (either real or fictional) is unintended.
Apologies and Alliances
A slight disturbance in the air was all the warning Rory had that he and Logan were no longer alone in Logan's apartment. To a normal human it would have gone unnoticed. To Rory, it was a sign that someone had just entered through the window in the guestroom. Since they were several stories from the ground, Rory assumed that Max had finally come calling. He looked down at his watch – 04:30. She was earlier than he'd expected.
"Hi," he heard his sister mutter from the doorway as she took one step into the living room.
"How do you feel?" Rory asked, not bothering with any pleasantries. After watching Twin Peaks up to the resolution of the death of Laura Palmer, Rory had started to become confused as the series spiraled downward into a series of events that seemed increasingly contrived and forced. He had quickly lost interest and had been able to spend his time reflecting on Max's actions. He could no longer say that he was pleased to see his sister, and thus he had little interest in making any small talk that would make her feel welcome.
"I'm still pretty banged up," Max admitted, though as she took a few more steps Rory noticed that her gait was free from any sign of a limp.
"You seem well enough to me," Rory stated evenly.
"Only on the outside," Max replied, suddenly diverting her gaze to the floor. Is she ashamed of what she did? Rory wondered. He hadn't expected that reaction. Had he been a betting man, he would have put money on his sister coming in to try to get even with him for leaving her to fend for herself while she was under the gun. Rory had come to the conclusion that his sister was not the deep-down good person he believed her to be, but rather a young woman full of hatred and rage, more akin to Justice than to Max. That epiphany had led to some uncomfortable decisions, but Rory felt he was ready to make his final peace with his sister.
"What exactly do you mean?" Rory asked.
"I can't keep going on like this," Max answered. "I think I should leave Seattle."
"Why?"
"So I can get myself under control," Max said, still avoiding eye contact. "I don't want to be this person, but as long as I stay in Seattle I'm gonna be tempted to take matters into my own hands."
"And you think you wouldn't suffer the same temptation elsewhere?" Rory asked. "You think running away will solve your problems?"
"I'm not running," Max retorted. "I'm simply being smart about my actions. Look, an alcoholic trying to change his behavior wouldn't be stupid enough to walk into a bar; I don't see how my solution is so different."
"Because you're not dealing with an addiction," Rory answered. "You're not in the situation where your body and mind crave the violence you dish out. Every time you go out on the streets, you do so because you make a conscious decision to take that action. You hurt people because you want to, because you like it. I see no other explanation."
"So you want me to just stop?" Max asked skeptically, making her situation seem as if she truly felt she was dealing with an addiction.
"I want you to do what you think is right," Rory said, hoping his sister would understand the simplicity of his plan. "When I came to Seattle a year ago, I wanted you to find your true self. I didn't think being a courier was what the universe had intended for you, and you agreed. So you went and took up the mantle of Justice. You became ruthless, violent, and destructive. I came back here to help put you back on the right path, but I was wrong to do so. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For judging you," Rory replied, finding himself surprisingly relieved as he made his confession. "It wasn't my place."
"You said you wanted me to find my true self," Max said. "This isn't the true me."
"How can you be sure?" Rory asked.
"I'm miserable," Max answered. "I already told you all that."
"And then you went right back out to continue business as usual," Rory reminded her, pointing out the reason why he had decided she was, in fact, as she was meant to be. "It didn't even take twelve hours for you to throw away your ideas for changing your life."
"I was wrong," Max muttered, finally looking up into her brother's eyes. Rory felt like he had been slapped in the face when he saw tears running down Max's cheeks. He hadn't detected anything in her voice that would have made him suspect that she was crying, but there she was, trying to stifle the water-works and appear as brave as ever.
"What do you want?" Rory asked, once again unsure of how to proceed. He had come to Seattle with the intent of changing his sister. He thought he had succeeded, only to realize that his hopes had been in vain. Then, upon further reflection, he had come to the conclusion that he was being unfair to Max, judging her by his own moral code rather than allowing her to find her own way in the world. In the warehouse, he had allowed her to shoot her way out of the firefight as a lesson to her. This time, he had been prepared to turn his back on her once and for all. He couldn't bring himself to accept her as Justice, but at the same time he was willing to respect her decision if she felt that Justice was her true self. Now she was claiming to need help once again. I cannot deny someone assistance, Rory reminded himself.
"I can't keep up like this," Max said. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before."
"But I was wrong to have judged you," Rory said.
"Be that as it may, your evaluation was correct, even if the evaluation itself was unwelcome," Max replied. "I have to get out of this life, Rory, and not just because everyone is gunning for me."
"Though that makes for a good reason," Rory pointed out.
"If I truly felt that what I was doing was right, then I'd be willing to die for my cause," Max responded. "That's not how I feel, though, and that's how I know what I'm doing is wrong. I was reflecting on the ambush at the warehouse, and I realized that I should have known I was walking into a trap. I was blinded by my need for vengeance. In fact, I think Vengeance would be a better name for me now, instead of Justice."
"So what do you propose?" Rory asked.
"I need your help," Max told him
"For what?" Rory asked, wondering how he could 'help' any more than he already had. It seemed that every time he did anything that he felt would make the situation better, he only succeeded in making everything worse. He had come to the conclusion that his own inexperience with the ways of the world was a primary cause of his failures, and he wanted nothing to do with anyone until he started to figure out people a little better.
"I need you to help me take down Rico," Max said.
"No," Rory said flatly.
"What?" Max asked, her surprise and disappointment evident on her face. "I thought you'd be down with that."
"I don't see how taking out Rico would accomplish anything," Rory replied. "You said it yourself – every time you take out one criminal, another just rises to take his place. Rico won't be any different. We could take him down, but some other boss will come along, and you'll be back in this situation in a few months."
"I know," Max admitted, "but while the criminals will be a constant, my behavior won't be. I said I want Rico, but I don't mean to kill him, no matter what he did. You were right – he has to face justice. For that to happen, he has to be brought face to face with the people his actions hurt. I don't have the right to punish him, and I certainly don't have the right to kill him."
"Sounds like you have a handle on this already," Rory replied. "I don't see how you need me."
"For two reasons," Max said. "First and foremost, I have to face the reality that he'll be waiting for me, especially after setting the ambush at the warehouse. I could probably take him out if I go in there guns blazing, but that would mean killing him and his people. To do this job with precision, to go in there and actually take him alive, is far more difficult than simply killing him. I need help – the kind of help only an X-5 can give me."
"And the second reason?" Rory asked, though he already suspected the answer.
"I need you to stop me if I get out of hand," Max said. "You'll be there as Honor, to make sure that I abide by my new code."
"I can't be there to baby-sit you every time, Max," Rory reminded her. "I don't see how having me along this one time will help you any in the long run."
"I have to show myself that this can be done the right way," Max replied. "Help me this one time, and I won't need it again. It'll be like sleeping in the woods." Rory suddenly remembered the one experience he and Max had really shared as children. They had never had much of an opportunity to mix – they didn't have skills that were generally considered tactically complementary – but there was one night, when they were only five, when the class was divided into pairs and sent out into the woods for the night. Both Max and Rory had been assigned to each other because they had never really worked together; Lydecker had presumably wanted them all in as unfamiliar a situation as he could create. Neither one of them had been comfortable outside the safety of the main building, and neither could gain comfort from a friendship with the other. They had been afraid of nomilies, wolves, bears, and every other frightening creature that they had ever heard of. In fact, as Rory thought back on the experience, he realized that Lydecker himself had filled their heads with no end of terrifying tales. The exercise had a simple purpose – face fear head-on and conquer it. Max and Rory had huddled closely together under the clear Wyoming sky that night, each of them able to hear animals scurrying around them in the night, and each feeling safe only because of the presence of the other. In the morning, though, they both wondered why they had been so scared. They had faced the challenge and realized that they were equal to the task. Even alone, none of the X-5's ever truly feared the woods surrounding Manticore again.
"I'll do it this one time," Rory agreed. "But when this is done, I won't help you any more. You understand that, right?"
"Yes."
"I'm serious, Max," Rory warned her, his voice holding a cold tinge. "If you suffer another relapse into your violent persona, I won't be there for you. You'll have to either find your own way, or get killed."
"I understand," Max assured her sibling.
"Okay," Rory muttered. "Well, now that we have that settled, I guess we have to figure out where Rico is. You have any ideas."
"Not really," Max admitted.
"I do," Logan's voice called out from the hallway. Max nearly jumped out of the seat at the unexpected sound of Logan's voice, though Rory remained completely impassive, wondering whether he was more surprised by the fact that Logan had been able to approach undetected, or that he himself did not get startled.
"Are you sure?" Max asked.
"Yeah, as long as you're sure that you're willing to make some changes," Logan said.
"Well, looks like I'm up for the day," Rory muttered, forcing himself off of Logan's couch. "I guess I might as well go get a shower." He walked uneasily from the room, leaving Max and Logan to work out their own problems in privacy. Logan watched Rory go, and then turned his gaze to his unannounced guest.
"I didn't hear you come in," he commented.
"I slipped in the window," Max admitted in reply.
"Why do you keep doing that?" Logan asked. "I can understand why you would have used an unorthodox entrance when you broke in here the first time, but now that you know me one might expect that you would knock, just like a normal person."
"I'm not a normal person," Max reminded him.
"Maybe not on the outside, but on the inside, you're still human, no matter how hard Lydecker worked to change you," Logan said, slowly moving his wheelchair to Max's side.
"Why did you leave earlier?" he asked, though he feared the answer.
"I wasn't thinking," Max answered. "I heard your report about the policemen's families, and I sorta freaked out. I felt like it was all my fault."
"Why?"
"Because I was spending the night with Rory, figuring out how to tone down my persona when I should have been out on the streets, preventing those deaths," Max said miserably.
"You didn't know," Logan told her.
"I know that," Max replied. "I just reacted too quickly. I rushed out there before I had time to think things through. No one who makes a move like that would let word leak out, at least not about any of the specifics, so my chances of discovering the plot were slim to none. I was just angry – angry at Rico, angry at Rory, and most of all, angry at myself. I needed to vent my frustrations, so I went out and killed a few bad guys." She looked at Logan for several moments, as if she expected him to say something, but he remained silent. "I won't let that ever happen again."
"We'll see," Logan said.
"You don't believe me, do you?" Max asked, unable to hide the sadness in her voice.
"Considering the fact that I already heard this less than twenty-four hours ago, just before you went on your latest killing spree, can you really blame me?" Logan answered, finding it ludicrous that Max still hoped to be taken at her word. Good intentions were all fine and good, but he wanted to see some actions to back up her resolve this time. He wouldn't truly support her again until she demonstrated a real willingness to change.
"I see," Max said, seeming to understand the whole point of Logan's words. "I'll show you what I want to be. Rory and I will take down Rico and serve him up to the proper authorities. I'll make you proud of me."
"And if Rico walks on some technicality, or if he beats these charges at trial?" Logan asked, knowing that Max's frustration with the legal system had been one of the driving forces behind her becoming Justice.
"Then I'll take him down again," Max responded, her face devoid of any of the anger that Logan had come to expect. "If he walks again, I'll get him again. And the time after that, and the time after that. I'll fulfill my role by making certain that these people are brought to trial. If they win in court, then that's the system's fault, not mine. The system isn't perfect."
"And neither are you," Logan said.
"Not quite," Max said with a disappointed sigh. She smiled thinly as she looked into Logan's eyes. "One of these days, though, I'm gonna figure out how to stop these seizures, and I'll finally be absolutely perfect."
"Oh really?" Logan asked, surprised at himself for allowing a bit of levity into the conversation. "Is that all it takes?"
"I'm practically perfect in every way, Logan," Max said. "I'm sorry for you to find out like this, but it's true." The thin smile turned into a wide grin, and Max started to hug Logan before he pushed her away.
"No, don't do that," he said, fighting to sound as if he wasn't pleading. He looked at Max and saw the pain in her eyes. "I would love to hold you again, Max, more than you'll ever know, but I can't let myself get attached to you right now. Not like that."
"Not until I show you I can change," Max said.
"That's right," Logan agreed. "You and Rory pull this off like you plan, and I'll be here waiting for you. Someday we might even be able to get back to where we were. I just have to be sure that you're serious. I can't support you if you're on a course to self-destruct."
"I understand," Max said, the sadness on her face suddenly replaced by a grim expression of resolve. "I'm gonna get going. When Rory gets out of the shower, can you tell him to come by my place?"
"Sure," Logan said.
"He and I will take care of business, and then you and I can talk again," Max said as she stood and started walking toward the door.
"Umm, haven't you forgotten something?" Logan asked pointedly. Max suddenly seemed confused and started looking around the room, searching every shadow for something she had left behind.
"Have I?" she asked.
"I haven't told you yet where to find Rico," Logan reminded her.
"Oh, yeah, that," Max said with an embarrassed grin. "I guess that would be important. Where exactly is it? Is it hard to find?"
"Oh, don't worry," Logan assured her, "you won't be able to miss it."
To be continued..................................
