A/N: Yay! Touching chapter!
Harry was at breakfast the next day. Hermione and Ron sat down next to him.
"Hey, there you are!" Hermione said. "We were worried about you."
"Why?" Harry asked as he put some food under the table for Sirius.
"You didn't talk to anybody for two days, Harry." Ron said. Harry shrugged.
"I've done it before."
"Yeah, when you're on holiday at the Dursleys or something, but not here!" Hermione said. "Are you alright?"
"Just peachy."
"Okay."
Ginny sat down. "Hi Harry."
"Hey Gin." Harry said.
"How are you?"
"Could be better and you?"
"The same."
Ron gripped his fork. Why was Harry flirting? With HIS sister?
"Take a breath Ron." Hermione said, eyeing him. "Guys flirt. Harry is a guy."
"That's my little sister though."
"She's flirted with him before." Hermione pointed out.
"But he's flirting back this time!"
"Oh grow up." Hermione said. Ron got rather red in the face as Harry leaned over the table to brush a red curly lock of hair out of Ginny's eyes.
"I'll- kill- him." Was all he could choke out.
Hermione sighed. "Boys."
~* ~* ~* ~*
"I expect everybody to do excellently on the Dueling quiz next week." Krikor said. "Study hard. You're dismissed."
The bell rang and everybody hurried out of the classroom. Harry was still gathering his things when the room had been deserted.
"Harry, having troubles?" Krikor asked. Harry shook his head.
"No sir." Harry said. "I'm just trying to round up my crap. I'll be out of your room in about ten seconds."
"Why don't you stay after a while and talk with me?" Krikor asked nicely. Harry dropped his things on his desk.
"Why are you so fascinated by me? What do I do or say that is so interesting that you want to talk with me after class three times a month?"
"Because you, unlike everybody else in my classes, are not enjoying it. Most people find dueling fun."
"It really depends on the circumstances one is forced to duel upon."
"What?" Krikor asked.
"Dueling is not fun, sir. Dueling is not a sport. It's where one wizard tries to kill another wizard in what the wizard calls a 'noble' way." Harry said.
"Sit." Krikor pointed to a seat. "Explain."
Harry sat down at an empty desk at the front of the class.
"Gilderoy Lockhart tried to host a dueling club when I was in my second year. He took my worst enemy, Draco Malfoy to duel and me in front of everybody in the room. I was supposed to be blocking whatever curse he threw at me."
"Keep going, please." Krikor said.
"Yes, well Malfoy set a snake on me and it started charging J-Justin Finch- F- Fletchley. Nearly bit his head off. I told the snake to stop charging him in Parseltongue and for nearly the rest of the year the entire school thought I was Slytherins heir."
"But you aren't…right?"
"Of course I'm not!" Harry said. "Voldemort is."
"Ah, I see." Krikor said. "But you won the duel anyways, it seems. Why do you hate dueling so?"
"And you care because…?"
"Because I'm interested."
"Fine." Harry said. "The reason I hate dueling is because last year Voldemort got his bloody body back and forced me to duel with him. All I knew how to do in dueling was to disarm somebody and a lot of good that was going to do with a bunch of Death Eaters behind him ready to give him his wand back. He did all three Unforgivable Curses on me. I can bock Imperious. When he tried Avada Kedavra on me our magic connected and weird things happened. We floated around in mid air and all the shadows of the people he killed started coming out of his wand. That includes my parents. I hate dueling and I always will. Every time I do it I have the worst flashbacks. I never duel if I can avoid it. Any questions?"
Krikor just stared at Harry for a moment before shaking his head. "Y- you can go now."
"Thank you." Harry said. He reached behind him to grab his books. His robes moved forward on his arms and Krikor saw a fleeting glimpse of white on his writs.
"Harry…." James said slowly. "What is that on your wrist?"
Harry paled. "My shirt? Skin? What do you mean?"
"I meant to ask you, Harry. Why weren't you in class yesterday?"
"I-I was- um…." Harry groped around in his mind for an answer. "Sick."
"With what were you sick with that you couldn't come to class?"
"Stomach Flu." Harry said. "You know…24 hour stomach flu."
"What's on your writs Harry?" James asked.
"What's up your ass Krikor?" Harry yelled. "I'm leaving! This has gone to far!"
"Don't you move, Harry Potter. Give me your hands." James demanded. "Now."
"No!" Harry said.
"What are you hiding from me?"
"Nothing!" Harry yelled. "Let me go!"
"Then you won't mind showing me your wrists!" James said and grabbed both Harry's hands, knocking the books on the floor. The crash woke Sirius up with a bark in the back of the classroom. He prowled forward, hackles raised.
"Get off of me!" Harry said loudly. "Get off! I said, get off!"
Sirius growled and barked.
"Shut up." James said to Sirius harshly. "Now Harry. Would you like to tell me where you were yesterday?"
"Not really!" Harry said loudly. "Let go!"
James' thumbs were placed on Harry's palms. (Detectives do that like a lie test. If your pulse changes, they know you're lying)
Sirius looked ready to attack James.
"What's on your wrists Harry?" James repeated.
Harry tried to free himself from James's hold. It wasn't working.
"I'll report you for this." Harry said, almost yelling. "You aren't allowed to do this!"
James looked calm as he said. "Quite the contrary." And without another word he quickly pulled up Harry's sleeves to show two bandaged wrists. James's cool smile disappeared, as he looked closer at the gauze. "Y-you- slit your writs?"
Harry glanced down at Sirius with an innocent smile. Sirius gave him the look of death and raised his hackles higher.
"What is this?" James nearly yelled.
"Nothing." Harry said, still trying to wriggle free. "And it's none of your business anyways!"
"You tried to kill yourself?" James said.
Harry's face contorted. "Let me go you - you-"
"Do you realize how terrible that is!" James yelled. "Why did you do it?"
"GET OFF OF ME!" Harry said and finally pulled free of him. "So what if I did try to kill myself!"
"I can't believe I'm hearing this!" James yelled back. "HAROLD JAMES POTTER! Stay where you are! What do you mean 'so what? THIS is your LIFE we're talking about."
"I mean I have no parents to make proud and Voldemort will get me someday. I was only trying to speed up the process!" Harry yelled. "Now will you stop trying to be a father figure? This is my life and I do with it what I chose!" He grabbed his things and half ran out of the room. Sirius ran after him, skidding into things on the stone floor.
~* ~* ~* ~*
"Hey Potter." Malfoy sneered.
"What is it Draco?" Harry asked. Snape was obviously having a good day and had decided to put Harry and Draco together as lab partners. Draco smiled fakely at him and tossed some dried slugs into the cauldron.
"I heard a rumor about you."
"Isn't that great." Harry said flatly. "Don't stir the potion so fast, idiot! It'll explode."
"If it's true, it is great." Malfoy said and stopped stirring altogether.
"Well if you don't stir it it'll turn to stone!" Harry said angrily. "And this is my caulron we're using. Move over." Harry pushed Draco over and took over stirring.
"Well the rumor said that you tried to k-"
"There are always rumors about me, Malfoy." Harry interjected.
"Yes, but this one is one of the best I've heard." Draco said. "I heard that you tried to kill yourself."
"And if it would have worked, I wouldn't have to endure you talking to me anymore." Harry said poisonously.
Draco's jaw dropped open. "It's true then?"
"Am I denying?"
"No." Draco said slowly. "You aren't. Why aren't you dead then, Potter? Did you chicken out?"
"No." Harry snapped harshly and glared at him. "The razor broke. It was a piece of crap and it broke and I lived."
Malfoy grinned at Harry. "You know, you're easier to get along with now that the sunshine is out of your ass."
"That may be true…." Harry said. "But I still hate you." He shoved the wooden spoon he had been stirring with into Draco's hands. "Stir."
~* ~* ~* ~*
Sirius made his way, somewhat slowly, out of the castle. He was having a bad week. On Tuesday he had found out that Harry had tried to kill himself. On Wednesday Professor Trelawney claimed that he was the grim and tried to kill him with a teapot. On Thursday a class of first year Gryffindors in Transfiguration class had tried to make McGonagall turn him into dirt, luckily she had refused. And now it was Friday night and Sirius was thinking about the teacher that Harry didn't like; Krikor. He knew Krikor somehow, he was sure. But he couldn't figure out how yet.
Sirius walked down to the lake and looked at his black and white reflection. His hair was quite shaggy…. Perhaps Hermione knew a charm to groom dogs. It was always possible and the girl was a walking spell book.
A sudden noise made Sirius look up. It had sounded like footsteps but Sirius only saw and elk when he looked up. He looked down again briefly. And then a sudden thought. ~* Elk don't live in these mountains. ~* He looked up again. Now that he looked at the beast carefully he realized it wasn't an elk at all.
It was a stag.
Sirius walked over to the animal. It was tall and muscular. It held itself like royalty. It didn't move as Sirius walked around it. It only stepped back a few paces when Sirius changed into a human.
"What dream is this?" Sirius whispered and continued to circle the animal, slowly. "Do my eyes deceive me?"
He stopped and looked the animal in the eyes. It did the same with a cool, riveting blue stare.
Sirius strained his eyes in the moonlight to see. Finally he said in an even quieter voice than before, "James?"
The animal broke the stare and Sirius shook himself mentally. These woods were magic. There could be a stag with blue eyes in there easily. He shook his head and said, "Stupid" and began to walk away.
He hadnt walked ten feet when he heard a voice. "Wait, Sirius."
Sirius froze and, without moving his feet turned around. The stag was gone, replaced by a tall thin man with messy hair.
Sirius blinked and did not move. His voice was absent from his throat and his mouth had gone rather dry. Finally, after much swallowing and deep breaths he said, "But you're dead!"
James laughed and shook his head. "No."
Sirius walked over to James in two large strides and pulled the man into a firm one-armed hug.
"Not dead!" He said through tears.
James grinned and hugged his best friend back with as much force. "It takes a little more than a psychopath to kill me."
Sirius laughed and broke the hug. "Trust you to make the most serious of things funny."
James shook his head and punched Sirius on the shoulder. "Now, tell me about my son. I've missed a lot haven't I?"
"First tell me how you survived!" Sirius said and put an arm on James's shoulder and led him off towards the forest.
~* ~* ~* ~*
Harry was pacing in the dorm room. Ron and Hermione were talking to each other and keeping an eye on Harry slightly.
Suddenly Harry stopped pacing. "Damn it!" He burst out.
"What's wrong?" Hermione and Ron asked at the same time.
"Crouch took my map and never gave it back!" Harry said.
"Oh Harry you've got that thing memorized." Hermione said. "And Moody took it from you not Crouch, right?"
"No." Harry said. "I mean Crouch and don't tell me I'm crazy, I'll explain later…where would he have put it? I wish he didn't lose his soul now so I could just send him a letter…!"
Ron and Hermione looked at each other.
"Harry, what did you eat tonight?" Ron asked.
"Nothing." Harry snapped. "I wasn't hungry. What's that got to do with anything?"
"Harry, you should eat." Hermione said.
"I know that." Harry said. "But I wasn't hungry. It's not like I'm anorexic!"
"I suppose." Hermione said. "And if you're so worried about the map, why don't you say 'Accio Map' and be done with it?"
"What if it's all the way across the ocean? I'm not powerful enough to do things like that!"
"How can you say that when you beat our DADA professor at dueling?" Ron said. "Explain this to me."
"Krikor probably thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. He probably was purposely going to let me win." Harry said with a yawn and sat down on his bed. "I'm sure he could beat me."
"You should have seen the look on his face when you won though." Ron said. "I don't think he meant to lose."
"Whatever."
"Call the map." Hermione said. "You can do it. Just say "Accio Marauder's Map!" and you'll be able to sleep tonight."
Harry lay down now. "Never mind. I don't want too."
~* ~* ~* ~*
A/N: I am so sorry I finished this in a rush because, you see, No Reply and I are going for the week and I didn't know Rose was, she doesn't even know I'm posting. But her sister is in the hospital and I have vacations a lot this summer so again, I'm terribly sorry and we'll get you a chapter really quick as soon as we get back. And it'll be the one you've been nagging us for. How James survived! Ta!
~ Tadariada ~
Harry was at breakfast the next day. Hermione and Ron sat down next to him.
"Hey, there you are!" Hermione said. "We were worried about you."
"Why?" Harry asked as he put some food under the table for Sirius.
"You didn't talk to anybody for two days, Harry." Ron said. Harry shrugged.
"I've done it before."
"Yeah, when you're on holiday at the Dursleys or something, but not here!" Hermione said. "Are you alright?"
"Just peachy."
"Okay."
Ginny sat down. "Hi Harry."
"Hey Gin." Harry said.
"How are you?"
"Could be better and you?"
"The same."
Ron gripped his fork. Why was Harry flirting? With HIS sister?
"Take a breath Ron." Hermione said, eyeing him. "Guys flirt. Harry is a guy."
"That's my little sister though."
"She's flirted with him before." Hermione pointed out.
"But he's flirting back this time!"
"Oh grow up." Hermione said. Ron got rather red in the face as Harry leaned over the table to brush a red curly lock of hair out of Ginny's eyes.
"I'll- kill- him." Was all he could choke out.
Hermione sighed. "Boys."
~* ~* ~* ~*
"I expect everybody to do excellently on the Dueling quiz next week." Krikor said. "Study hard. You're dismissed."
The bell rang and everybody hurried out of the classroom. Harry was still gathering his things when the room had been deserted.
"Harry, having troubles?" Krikor asked. Harry shook his head.
"No sir." Harry said. "I'm just trying to round up my crap. I'll be out of your room in about ten seconds."
"Why don't you stay after a while and talk with me?" Krikor asked nicely. Harry dropped his things on his desk.
"Why are you so fascinated by me? What do I do or say that is so interesting that you want to talk with me after class three times a month?"
"Because you, unlike everybody else in my classes, are not enjoying it. Most people find dueling fun."
"It really depends on the circumstances one is forced to duel upon."
"What?" Krikor asked.
"Dueling is not fun, sir. Dueling is not a sport. It's where one wizard tries to kill another wizard in what the wizard calls a 'noble' way." Harry said.
"Sit." Krikor pointed to a seat. "Explain."
Harry sat down at an empty desk at the front of the class.
"Gilderoy Lockhart tried to host a dueling club when I was in my second year. He took my worst enemy, Draco Malfoy to duel and me in front of everybody in the room. I was supposed to be blocking whatever curse he threw at me."
"Keep going, please." Krikor said.
"Yes, well Malfoy set a snake on me and it started charging J-Justin Finch- F- Fletchley. Nearly bit his head off. I told the snake to stop charging him in Parseltongue and for nearly the rest of the year the entire school thought I was Slytherins heir."
"But you aren't…right?"
"Of course I'm not!" Harry said. "Voldemort is."
"Ah, I see." Krikor said. "But you won the duel anyways, it seems. Why do you hate dueling so?"
"And you care because…?"
"Because I'm interested."
"Fine." Harry said. "The reason I hate dueling is because last year Voldemort got his bloody body back and forced me to duel with him. All I knew how to do in dueling was to disarm somebody and a lot of good that was going to do with a bunch of Death Eaters behind him ready to give him his wand back. He did all three Unforgivable Curses on me. I can bock Imperious. When he tried Avada Kedavra on me our magic connected and weird things happened. We floated around in mid air and all the shadows of the people he killed started coming out of his wand. That includes my parents. I hate dueling and I always will. Every time I do it I have the worst flashbacks. I never duel if I can avoid it. Any questions?"
Krikor just stared at Harry for a moment before shaking his head. "Y- you can go now."
"Thank you." Harry said. He reached behind him to grab his books. His robes moved forward on his arms and Krikor saw a fleeting glimpse of white on his writs.
"Harry…." James said slowly. "What is that on your wrist?"
Harry paled. "My shirt? Skin? What do you mean?"
"I meant to ask you, Harry. Why weren't you in class yesterday?"
"I-I was- um…." Harry groped around in his mind for an answer. "Sick."
"With what were you sick with that you couldn't come to class?"
"Stomach Flu." Harry said. "You know…24 hour stomach flu."
"What's on your writs Harry?" James asked.
"What's up your ass Krikor?" Harry yelled. "I'm leaving! This has gone to far!"
"Don't you move, Harry Potter. Give me your hands." James demanded. "Now."
"No!" Harry said.
"What are you hiding from me?"
"Nothing!" Harry yelled. "Let me go!"
"Then you won't mind showing me your wrists!" James said and grabbed both Harry's hands, knocking the books on the floor. The crash woke Sirius up with a bark in the back of the classroom. He prowled forward, hackles raised.
"Get off of me!" Harry said loudly. "Get off! I said, get off!"
Sirius growled and barked.
"Shut up." James said to Sirius harshly. "Now Harry. Would you like to tell me where you were yesterday?"
"Not really!" Harry said loudly. "Let go!"
James' thumbs were placed on Harry's palms. (Detectives do that like a lie test. If your pulse changes, they know you're lying)
Sirius looked ready to attack James.
"What's on your wrists Harry?" James repeated.
Harry tried to free himself from James's hold. It wasn't working.
"I'll report you for this." Harry said, almost yelling. "You aren't allowed to do this!"
James looked calm as he said. "Quite the contrary." And without another word he quickly pulled up Harry's sleeves to show two bandaged wrists. James's cool smile disappeared, as he looked closer at the gauze. "Y-you- slit your writs?"
Harry glanced down at Sirius with an innocent smile. Sirius gave him the look of death and raised his hackles higher.
"What is this?" James nearly yelled.
"Nothing." Harry said, still trying to wriggle free. "And it's none of your business anyways!"
"You tried to kill yourself?" James said.
Harry's face contorted. "Let me go you - you-"
"Do you realize how terrible that is!" James yelled. "Why did you do it?"
"GET OFF OF ME!" Harry said and finally pulled free of him. "So what if I did try to kill myself!"
"I can't believe I'm hearing this!" James yelled back. "HAROLD JAMES POTTER! Stay where you are! What do you mean 'so what? THIS is your LIFE we're talking about."
"I mean I have no parents to make proud and Voldemort will get me someday. I was only trying to speed up the process!" Harry yelled. "Now will you stop trying to be a father figure? This is my life and I do with it what I chose!" He grabbed his things and half ran out of the room. Sirius ran after him, skidding into things on the stone floor.
~* ~* ~* ~*
"Hey Potter." Malfoy sneered.
"What is it Draco?" Harry asked. Snape was obviously having a good day and had decided to put Harry and Draco together as lab partners. Draco smiled fakely at him and tossed some dried slugs into the cauldron.
"I heard a rumor about you."
"Isn't that great." Harry said flatly. "Don't stir the potion so fast, idiot! It'll explode."
"If it's true, it is great." Malfoy said and stopped stirring altogether.
"Well if you don't stir it it'll turn to stone!" Harry said angrily. "And this is my caulron we're using. Move over." Harry pushed Draco over and took over stirring.
"Well the rumor said that you tried to k-"
"There are always rumors about me, Malfoy." Harry interjected.
"Yes, but this one is one of the best I've heard." Draco said. "I heard that you tried to kill yourself."
"And if it would have worked, I wouldn't have to endure you talking to me anymore." Harry said poisonously.
Draco's jaw dropped open. "It's true then?"
"Am I denying?"
"No." Draco said slowly. "You aren't. Why aren't you dead then, Potter? Did you chicken out?"
"No." Harry snapped harshly and glared at him. "The razor broke. It was a piece of crap and it broke and I lived."
Malfoy grinned at Harry. "You know, you're easier to get along with now that the sunshine is out of your ass."
"That may be true…." Harry said. "But I still hate you." He shoved the wooden spoon he had been stirring with into Draco's hands. "Stir."
~* ~* ~* ~*
Sirius made his way, somewhat slowly, out of the castle. He was having a bad week. On Tuesday he had found out that Harry had tried to kill himself. On Wednesday Professor Trelawney claimed that he was the grim and tried to kill him with a teapot. On Thursday a class of first year Gryffindors in Transfiguration class had tried to make McGonagall turn him into dirt, luckily she had refused. And now it was Friday night and Sirius was thinking about the teacher that Harry didn't like; Krikor. He knew Krikor somehow, he was sure. But he couldn't figure out how yet.
Sirius walked down to the lake and looked at his black and white reflection. His hair was quite shaggy…. Perhaps Hermione knew a charm to groom dogs. It was always possible and the girl was a walking spell book.
A sudden noise made Sirius look up. It had sounded like footsteps but Sirius only saw and elk when he looked up. He looked down again briefly. And then a sudden thought. ~* Elk don't live in these mountains. ~* He looked up again. Now that he looked at the beast carefully he realized it wasn't an elk at all.
It was a stag.
Sirius walked over to the animal. It was tall and muscular. It held itself like royalty. It didn't move as Sirius walked around it. It only stepped back a few paces when Sirius changed into a human.
"What dream is this?" Sirius whispered and continued to circle the animal, slowly. "Do my eyes deceive me?"
He stopped and looked the animal in the eyes. It did the same with a cool, riveting blue stare.
Sirius strained his eyes in the moonlight to see. Finally he said in an even quieter voice than before, "James?"
The animal broke the stare and Sirius shook himself mentally. These woods were magic. There could be a stag with blue eyes in there easily. He shook his head and said, "Stupid" and began to walk away.
He hadnt walked ten feet when he heard a voice. "Wait, Sirius."
Sirius froze and, without moving his feet turned around. The stag was gone, replaced by a tall thin man with messy hair.
Sirius blinked and did not move. His voice was absent from his throat and his mouth had gone rather dry. Finally, after much swallowing and deep breaths he said, "But you're dead!"
James laughed and shook his head. "No."
Sirius walked over to James in two large strides and pulled the man into a firm one-armed hug.
"Not dead!" He said through tears.
James grinned and hugged his best friend back with as much force. "It takes a little more than a psychopath to kill me."
Sirius laughed and broke the hug. "Trust you to make the most serious of things funny."
James shook his head and punched Sirius on the shoulder. "Now, tell me about my son. I've missed a lot haven't I?"
"First tell me how you survived!" Sirius said and put an arm on James's shoulder and led him off towards the forest.
~* ~* ~* ~*
Harry was pacing in the dorm room. Ron and Hermione were talking to each other and keeping an eye on Harry slightly.
Suddenly Harry stopped pacing. "Damn it!" He burst out.
"What's wrong?" Hermione and Ron asked at the same time.
"Crouch took my map and never gave it back!" Harry said.
"Oh Harry you've got that thing memorized." Hermione said. "And Moody took it from you not Crouch, right?"
"No." Harry said. "I mean Crouch and don't tell me I'm crazy, I'll explain later…where would he have put it? I wish he didn't lose his soul now so I could just send him a letter…!"
Ron and Hermione looked at each other.
"Harry, what did you eat tonight?" Ron asked.
"Nothing." Harry snapped. "I wasn't hungry. What's that got to do with anything?"
"Harry, you should eat." Hermione said.
"I know that." Harry said. "But I wasn't hungry. It's not like I'm anorexic!"
"I suppose." Hermione said. "And if you're so worried about the map, why don't you say 'Accio Map' and be done with it?"
"What if it's all the way across the ocean? I'm not powerful enough to do things like that!"
"How can you say that when you beat our DADA professor at dueling?" Ron said. "Explain this to me."
"Krikor probably thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. He probably was purposely going to let me win." Harry said with a yawn and sat down on his bed. "I'm sure he could beat me."
"You should have seen the look on his face when you won though." Ron said. "I don't think he meant to lose."
"Whatever."
"Call the map." Hermione said. "You can do it. Just say "Accio Marauder's Map!" and you'll be able to sleep tonight."
Harry lay down now. "Never mind. I don't want too."
~* ~* ~* ~*
A/N: I am so sorry I finished this in a rush because, you see, No Reply and I are going for the week and I didn't know Rose was, she doesn't even know I'm posting. But her sister is in the hospital and I have vacations a lot this summer so again, I'm terribly sorry and we'll get you a chapter really quick as soon as we get back. And it'll be the one you've been nagging us for. How James survived! Ta!
~ Tadariada ~
