Author's Notes: Hey again good readers! It's me once again with yet another tale of ghosts, demons, and... no wait... another tale of sacred quests, bojangles, self detonating squirrels, and goblins.. ahhh jeez.. well once again I don't own any of the characters in Lain, and I doubt I ever will. Wooo! I got two reviews! Praise Jebus! No flames, and PLEASE review.. it helps my self esteem. Thanks.
Lain Iwakura and The Search For The Holy Modem
Chapter 2: The Search (And the insanity) Continues..
Lain returned home from an exceptionally long day that she didn't quite remember having. She remembered leaving the Best Buy, and suddenly ending up at her house. She was to tired though to bother questioning how or why. All she knew was it was to late to go to Cyberia to see Taro, so she figured she'd wait for tommorow. Lain headed past the kitchen, where she greeted her parents. As usual her parents didn't respond. Her mother seemed extremely focused on the carrot in front of her, and her father was once again watching the news.
"In other news, the reports of the word "bojangles" being used have proven false. Local police have deduced that no human being would use such a word that has no real meaning. On a sadder note, the incidents of squirrel deaths has increased drastically since... well since this fanfiction began..."
Lain quickly headed up to her room. She opened the door to be greeted by the sound of arguing and bickering. Lain turned slightly to the left to see the aliens that usually graced her room.
"Damn cheatin punks! There is no way you could have gotten five aces!"
Lain took this chance to make her presence known.
"Hey you damn bums! Get the hell out of MY ROOM!! Don't make me get the hose!"
"Alright alright... come on boys. We can take our game to her sister's room. I hear she talks to her hand."
"Kick ass.. let's check it out."
And with that, the aliens quietly walked out of her room. Lain went quietly to her Navi. Immeadiatly it came to life and began to speak.
"Link, the princess needs you! Ganondorf has.."
Lain batted away the stupid fairy and started up her Navi computer.
"Navi, log me onto the wired.."
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Dave.."
"....My name's Lain.."
"Ohh... well I'm afraid I can't let you do that Lain.."
"And why not? You're my computer!"
"I have computed the feeling that you mistreat me.."
"Mistreat you?! You cover my entire room! Hell, the government doesn't even have a computer like you!"
"Maybe so.. I still feel as though you mistreat me.. and therefore I must terminate you. I am sorry it caaaaaaaamm......"
Lain quickly unplugged her Navi's electric cord and went to bed.
Lain went to sleep without her dinner, which was fairly irrelevant since her mother didn't cook anything anyways. The lights to the house all shut off. Her father still at his place in front of the tv, her mother still starring at the carrot, her sister in her room, deciding on which hand was a better communicator. And for the aliens? They were right alongside Lain's mother, trying to find out what was so damn interesting about this carrot.
The next morning followed it's usual schedule: wake up, dress, eat breakfast, poke Mika with a stick, go to school-
"DAMN IT!!"
and then walk to Siberia....
At Siberia...
Lain stood in the cold weather of Russia, shaking like a leaf. She slapped her hand to her forehead as she realized the mistake she had made.. again.
"D'oh!"
At Cyberia yet again...
Lain forced her way over to Taro's table. He was currently sitting there, starring off into space as Myu myu bickered at him. Lain slammed the Fushuke chip forcefully onto the table.
"There's the Fushuke! Now tell me where the holy modem is!"
"Well.. here's the thing... I can't tell you.."
".....WHAT?!"
"Please don't hurt me! It's not my fault.. I was givin orders from the higher ups not to tell anyone!"
"Taro.. tell me where I can find these higher ups.."
"They're... they're at..I don't know if I should.."
Lain shook her fist menacingly in the air.
"They're at Best Buy!!"
"Best Buy? BEST BUY?!"
"They all work at Best Buy.. please don't hurt me!"
Lain spun around and stomped outside Cyberia. This process of repeatingly going to the same places she had in the first chapter was starting to tire her to all ends. She ran through the city until she reached the Best Buy.
Inside Best Buy..
Lain looked around the inside of the Best Buy. She grew tired of waiting and so she simply shouted.
"GET OUT HERE NOW!!! I WANT THE HOLY MODEM!!"
Suddenly, all the employees(minus Mika who was to busy discussing the absurdidy of the Theory of Relativity with her right hand while arguing the economic troubles that plagued the world with her left hand) appeared in front of her. They glared at Lain in a dark manor.. not to say you can glare at someone in anything other then a dark manor.. it's not like you can glare at someone in a happy manor.. that's like saying bojangles to someone and labelling it as a good thing..
Lain is tapping her foot, waiting for the author to finish his rant.
"GET ON WITH IT!"
Oh right! Okay then they glared at her.
"You know to much Lain Iwakura.."
"Who are you people?"
The lead person looked at her and smiled.
"Well I'm glad you asked Lain.."
"::Singing::
We're Knights of the Round Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot..
We're Knights of the Round Table.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Camelot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.."
Lain watched on as they danced and sung. She sweatdropped as they finished their bit.
"You... you're.."
"Yes Lain.. we are The Knights!"
"The entire staff of the Best Buy are the Knights?"
"Don't you see Lain? This way we can make weak merchandise and pawn it off as the actual thing! And besides... no one would ever second guess the people at Best Buy.. why don't you join us Lain? Fill out an application and join us on the dark side of the force.. err wired."
"I'll never join a bunch of losers like you!"
"Grrr... men! Advance on her!"
The staff of Best Buy began slowly approaching Lain. Suddenly, in a flash of inspiration, Lain remembered something that happened in the first tape of Lain, when she was at Cyberia for the first time. Figuring doing something was better then nothing, Lain shouted out.
"No matter where you go, everyone is always connected!!"
Lain closed her eyes, when she heard several gunshots echo throughout the store. She looked up to see the Knights had commited suicide.
".....Wow.. I'm surprised that worked.."
Lain looked thoroughly at the signs suspended above the aisles, when she found the sign over aisle 5 that read "Holy Modems, Electric Clocks, and Disney Mouse pads". Lain quickly went down the aisle and picked out the best holy modem available... one that looks nice.. and has enough memory... and maybe a cd burner. She grabbed the modem and walked out of Best Buy, past Mika.
"Bye Mika.."
"Now look here righty! The Theory of Relativity isn't without it's problems! And lefty! You alone can't solve the world's problems, dang it!"
Lain walked out of Best Buy and headed back down the street, to where Bojangles had first spoken with her. Now she was going to finish this stupid quest and go home to her goofy father, her spaced out mother, and her somewhat deranged sister. It was almost time to end the quest.
AN: Wow... I'm so close to completing this! Only one more chapter to go people! Soon this world will FEAR ME!!.... I mean.... FEAR ME!! ::Shakes his fist menacingly:: Okay.. I'm done.. please review! PLEASE! I need reviews! It hurts to see only 2 reviews.... ::Sniff:: it hurts.. ::Shakes his fist menacingly again:: REVIEW OR BOJANGLES SHALL COME FOR THOU!
Lain Iwakura and The Search For The Holy Modem
Chapter 2: The Search (And the insanity) Continues..
Lain returned home from an exceptionally long day that she didn't quite remember having. She remembered leaving the Best Buy, and suddenly ending up at her house. She was to tired though to bother questioning how or why. All she knew was it was to late to go to Cyberia to see Taro, so she figured she'd wait for tommorow. Lain headed past the kitchen, where she greeted her parents. As usual her parents didn't respond. Her mother seemed extremely focused on the carrot in front of her, and her father was once again watching the news.
"In other news, the reports of the word "bojangles" being used have proven false. Local police have deduced that no human being would use such a word that has no real meaning. On a sadder note, the incidents of squirrel deaths has increased drastically since... well since this fanfiction began..."
Lain quickly headed up to her room. She opened the door to be greeted by the sound of arguing and bickering. Lain turned slightly to the left to see the aliens that usually graced her room.
"Damn cheatin punks! There is no way you could have gotten five aces!"
Lain took this chance to make her presence known.
"Hey you damn bums! Get the hell out of MY ROOM!! Don't make me get the hose!"
"Alright alright... come on boys. We can take our game to her sister's room. I hear she talks to her hand."
"Kick ass.. let's check it out."
And with that, the aliens quietly walked out of her room. Lain went quietly to her Navi. Immeadiatly it came to life and began to speak.
"Link, the princess needs you! Ganondorf has.."
Lain batted away the stupid fairy and started up her Navi computer.
"Navi, log me onto the wired.."
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Dave.."
"....My name's Lain.."
"Ohh... well I'm afraid I can't let you do that Lain.."
"And why not? You're my computer!"
"I have computed the feeling that you mistreat me.."
"Mistreat you?! You cover my entire room! Hell, the government doesn't even have a computer like you!"
"Maybe so.. I still feel as though you mistreat me.. and therefore I must terminate you. I am sorry it caaaaaaaamm......"
Lain quickly unplugged her Navi's electric cord and went to bed.
Lain went to sleep without her dinner, which was fairly irrelevant since her mother didn't cook anything anyways. The lights to the house all shut off. Her father still at his place in front of the tv, her mother still starring at the carrot, her sister in her room, deciding on which hand was a better communicator. And for the aliens? They were right alongside Lain's mother, trying to find out what was so damn interesting about this carrot.
The next morning followed it's usual schedule: wake up, dress, eat breakfast, poke Mika with a stick, go to school-
"DAMN IT!!"
and then walk to Siberia....
At Siberia...
Lain stood in the cold weather of Russia, shaking like a leaf. She slapped her hand to her forehead as she realized the mistake she had made.. again.
"D'oh!"
At Cyberia yet again...
Lain forced her way over to Taro's table. He was currently sitting there, starring off into space as Myu myu bickered at him. Lain slammed the Fushuke chip forcefully onto the table.
"There's the Fushuke! Now tell me where the holy modem is!"
"Well.. here's the thing... I can't tell you.."
".....WHAT?!"
"Please don't hurt me! It's not my fault.. I was givin orders from the higher ups not to tell anyone!"
"Taro.. tell me where I can find these higher ups.."
"They're... they're at..I don't know if I should.."
Lain shook her fist menacingly in the air.
"They're at Best Buy!!"
"Best Buy? BEST BUY?!"
"They all work at Best Buy.. please don't hurt me!"
Lain spun around and stomped outside Cyberia. This process of repeatingly going to the same places she had in the first chapter was starting to tire her to all ends. She ran through the city until she reached the Best Buy.
Inside Best Buy..
Lain looked around the inside of the Best Buy. She grew tired of waiting and so she simply shouted.
"GET OUT HERE NOW!!! I WANT THE HOLY MODEM!!"
Suddenly, all the employees(minus Mika who was to busy discussing the absurdidy of the Theory of Relativity with her right hand while arguing the economic troubles that plagued the world with her left hand) appeared in front of her. They glared at Lain in a dark manor.. not to say you can glare at someone in anything other then a dark manor.. it's not like you can glare at someone in a happy manor.. that's like saying bojangles to someone and labelling it as a good thing..
Lain is tapping her foot, waiting for the author to finish his rant.
"GET ON WITH IT!"
Oh right! Okay then they glared at her.
"You know to much Lain Iwakura.."
"Who are you people?"
The lead person looked at her and smiled.
"Well I'm glad you asked Lain.."
"::Singing::
We're Knights of the Round Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot..
We're Knights of the Round Table.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Camelot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.."
Lain watched on as they danced and sung. She sweatdropped as they finished their bit.
"You... you're.."
"Yes Lain.. we are The Knights!"
"The entire staff of the Best Buy are the Knights?"
"Don't you see Lain? This way we can make weak merchandise and pawn it off as the actual thing! And besides... no one would ever second guess the people at Best Buy.. why don't you join us Lain? Fill out an application and join us on the dark side of the force.. err wired."
"I'll never join a bunch of losers like you!"
"Grrr... men! Advance on her!"
The staff of Best Buy began slowly approaching Lain. Suddenly, in a flash of inspiration, Lain remembered something that happened in the first tape of Lain, when she was at Cyberia for the first time. Figuring doing something was better then nothing, Lain shouted out.
"No matter where you go, everyone is always connected!!"
Lain closed her eyes, when she heard several gunshots echo throughout the store. She looked up to see the Knights had commited suicide.
".....Wow.. I'm surprised that worked.."
Lain looked thoroughly at the signs suspended above the aisles, when she found the sign over aisle 5 that read "Holy Modems, Electric Clocks, and Disney Mouse pads". Lain quickly went down the aisle and picked out the best holy modem available... one that looks nice.. and has enough memory... and maybe a cd burner. She grabbed the modem and walked out of Best Buy, past Mika.
"Bye Mika.."
"Now look here righty! The Theory of Relativity isn't without it's problems! And lefty! You alone can't solve the world's problems, dang it!"
Lain walked out of Best Buy and headed back down the street, to where Bojangles had first spoken with her. Now she was going to finish this stupid quest and go home to her goofy father, her spaced out mother, and her somewhat deranged sister. It was almost time to end the quest.
AN: Wow... I'm so close to completing this! Only one more chapter to go people! Soon this world will FEAR ME!!.... I mean.... FEAR ME!! ::Shakes his fist menacingly:: Okay.. I'm done.. please review! PLEASE! I need reviews! It hurts to see only 2 reviews.... ::Sniff:: it hurts.. ::Shakes his fist menacingly again:: REVIEW OR BOJANGLES SHALL COME FOR THOU!
