Now and Forever Thank you people who have given me feedback so far. ^-^ Love you bunches. No need to push me to finish, though--this story has been finished for quite some time. I'm not sure yet how many chapters it will fall into, but what you SHOULD be telling me to do is post regularly. I can get lazy about that. Anyway, here's chapter three, complete with vague spoilers for a not-very-important incident in episode 42.

"Wo ai ni," is Chinese for "I love you." You hear Shampoo tell Ranma this, and sometimes Tamahome will say it (for no apparent reason) rather than the Japanese "Aishiteru."

Chapter Three

The world reformed in hazy snatches of sound and thought.

Birds singing

Seiryuu...

Low hum of a nearby marketplace

I hurt--all over...

Soft breathing

Where am I?

Clothes rustling

Who's there?

Tomo opened his eyes slowly, squinting fuzzily as the world blurred into focus. Light illuminated the room he lay in--it was midday or better.

He turned his head slightly, wincing as pain echoed down his back. It hurt--but not so much as the burning agony of last night..

Sitting before him was a boy. It took Tomo a moment to place him.

Suzaku shichiseishi Chiriko.

The child's cinnamon hair was rumpled slightly, as though he hadn't slept. His minty green eyes seemed too large in his face, thin and burned by harsh winds and exposure. He sat with his elbows on his knees, his chin cupped in his hands as he stared at Tomo with thoughtful consideration.

Something like guilt stung at the Seiryuu seishi.

He rebuked himself for it--or started to. But the words fell flat.

What happened--last time... Seiryuu, what I did... I--cried... in front of them?!

"I hope you're feeling better," Chiriko said, dropping one arm across his knees.

Tomo looked away in silence, trying to contain the emotions crashing in his heart.

I learned not to cry. Crying never helps anything. No one ever hears.

"Something happened to you," came the light treble.

The man turned back, his eyes widening in shock.

Chiriko stared at him, his eyes clear and bright as he finished, "Didn't it?"

He--he--how dare he?! His hands clenching into fists, he narrowed his eyes and focused his will on the floor before Chiriko's feet. He'll pay for that.

Fleeting memories flickered at the back of his mind, and he ruthlessly shoved them back. A tiny shoot of thorny green crept through the floorboards.

Chiriko stared at it, unmoving. "It's an illusion, isn't it?" he asked calmly, further heightening Tomo's anger. "One of your illusions."

He's not afraid of me, a part of his mind realized. Confusion was eclipsed by outrage and the affirmation, He will be.

The boy sighed. "I'm sure you know that, if anything happens to me, my friends will come. You can't fight us, not all of us."

The Seiryuu seishi's eyes narrowed. "I did once," he choked, ignoring the red pain that flared down his spine.

Chiriko looked at him, sad-eyed. Reaching down, he brushed his fingertips through the vine. "You can't now," he said in the face of Tomo's shock. "You're not strong enough. Anyway, what good would it do you?"

Tomo swallowed back burning pride. The child was right, galling as the admission was. Killing the boy, even if he could summon the strength to do so, would be pointless. Even the tiny illusion of the vine had exhausted him, and without the shin to focus and amplify his power, he hadn't even been able to keep it solid. A spark of shame fanned within him.

"Hiding behind a mask isn't going to take the pain away, you know," Chiriko commented solemnly.

If I wear this, no one will know...

A shudder convulsed the Seiryuu seishi. He bit his lip, turning away and trying to block out the words.

"Everyone feels pain sometimes. It's a human emotion, and you're as human as any of us."

If no one gets close, then no one can hurt me...

The voices of two children, overlapping and mingling and echoing in his mind.

"People sometimes blame themselves for the bad things that happen to them. It wasn't your fault, Tomo-san."

Onegai, yamete! I'll be good, I promise! I'm sorry! I'll never be bad again!

Tears burned hot beneath closed eyelids; his muscles clenched so tightly they trembled.

No one--no one was supposed to know... Ever! Ever again! I didn't want anyone to know!

A tiny voice whispered in the depths of his heart, If they knew, they'd hate me...

"Get out..."

"Tomo-san--"

The Suzaku seishi had broken all of Tomo's walls with only his soft, pleading voice. The raw ache of it on his bleeding, vulnerable spirit felt like a violation.

"Leave me alone!" he shouted, his voice cracking. "Just leave me alone!"

He heard a soft sigh, then a whisper of cloth as Chiriko rose and departed.

-

With Miaka speaking to Hotohori, Chichiri took his leave. He wandered aimlessly down the path in the gardens, lost in thought. Something was off between Miaka and Tamahome, he could sense that much. If there wasn't, the two would have been together as if joined at the hip. As usual. But he'd found Miaka in the gardens, angry and tearful all at once. There was no time for division and arguments amongst the Suzaku seishi. Time was rapidly vanishing. Right now, matters stood at a stalemate, with Nakago slightly ahead due to his possession of the Genbu no Shinzaho. As if things hadn't been complicated enough with all of that, now there was a traumatized, hostile Seiryuu seishi to be dealt with. At least, the monk reflected ruefully, they knew where the Byakko no Shinzaho was located. Tokaki and Subaru had promised that they could retrieve it that evening.

"Chichiri-san?" came a soft voice from behind him at his elbow. He turned, looking down.

Chiriko stood before him, his light eyes darkened with worry.

"Nani no da, Chiriko?" the man replied, knowing instinctively that whatever Chiriko wanted, it was important.

"I-I've been talking to Tomo-san," the child said slowly. "How much has Mitsukake-san told you?"

Chichiri considered. "That he is still hurt too badly to move around much, and that he has likely suffered from something serious in his past. That's all he knows no da."

Chiriko nodded thoughtfully. "I..." He trailed off for a moment, looking torn between alternatives, then plunged ahead. "I think I know what happened to him."

Solemn, Chichiri sat down beneath a tree, removing his mask. Something told him that what he was about to hear would not be pleasant.

Following suit, Chiriko fiddled with his fingers for a long moment, staring at his hands. "Promise that you won't tell the others," he said finally. "He doesn't want anyone to know."

"I promise no da, but--he told you?" Chichiri asked, startled, but Chiriko shook his head in a quick negative.

"He was talking in his sleep last night," the boy explained, relating what he'd heard. "I think he was--was raped."

Chichiri nodded slowly. "It would fit no da," he said carefully. "But are you sure? There are other things that could explain it."

The younger seishi nodded. "Almost completely," he said in assurance. "I don't know what happened to his mother, whether she died, or left him, but that doesn't really matter. I think he somehow ended up with one of those opera troupes that pass through from time to time. That would have been made up of mostly men with no other options in life, people who couldn't keep a job, possibly escaped prisoners. With what I heard Tomo-san say--it makes the most sense."

Chichiri stared down at Chiriko for a moment, discomfited by the logical way the boy spoke of subjects that someone his age should by no means know so much about. Shaking himself slightly, Chichiri nodded for him to continue.

"I tried to talk to him," the younger seishi said, "but he only yelled at me and told me to get out." Chiriko looked down, a faint suggestion of tears in his large, minty eyes. "I tried," he whispered desperately, as though trying to convince his companion. Or possibly himself.

Chichiri sighed. "I believe you, Chiriko," he said gently. "Demo, if what you think is true, you can't expect him to heal all in one day no da. Things don't work that way. Ask Mitsukake, or any doctor. They'll tell you that healing takes time na no da."

Chiriko leaned up against him, shivering a bit with suppressed tears. Chichiri wrapped a gentle arm around him, his voice soft but firm. "Even if you convince him that what happened was not his fault, it would take years to completely rid him of the tendency to hang back, to distance himself from pain. He might not ever heal completely."

Chiriko snuffled. "How?" he asked desperately. "How could someone do that to a child?"

His good eye dark, Chichiri responded softly, "I don't know, Chiriko no da. I wish I did, but I don't."

Wiping his eyes, Chiriko sat back up. "That's not all, Chichiri-san," he said resolutely. "I--I think that Tomo-san...He loves Nakago."

His eyebrows shooting up in sharp surprise, Chichiri managed to keep his voice low. "What makes you think that, Chiriko?"

"He--he kept calling out to Nakago in his sleep. Sometimes, it was like he was sad over him, and sometimes it was the same way he called to his mother--like he needs Nakago, for something. And--I think I heard him say once... 'Wo ai ni.'"

Chichiri nodded wordlessly. Gods, he thought, the more we learn of the truth, the more convoluted our path becomes...