doushite=why
-----------------------------------------------------------
He's here somewhere. I can feel him.
Walking at an easy pace down the halls of the monastery, Tomo felt more confident than he had in years. Even without his makeup. Before, he would have been sneaking through place in furtive secrecy, had he been forced into it out of costume. But now--he'd surpassed that. He didn't need it anymore. He had returned, and he was stronger than before. He knew it in his bones.
He's close. I sense him. Nakago... Nakago's ki was so close Tomo could almost taste it. That familiar-but-never-old depth of power, blinding blue in his mind. Tomo turned a corner, and saw, surreal, Nakago, turning, the same sense triggering his own awareness. His blond hair gleamed liquid gold in the coppery torchlight; his eyes widened as he saw Tomo.
Walking up to him, the younger man bowed. "Nakago-sama," he said respectfully. "I have returned."
He felt the blue eyes on him, and suppressed a shiver. How could the Suzaku seishi hope to turn him on that? He loved Nakago, that would never change. Just being near him was exquisite agony, the yearning was a kind of beauty.
Now and forever, Nakago-sama.
"Tomo," Nakago's deep voice said above him, and a thrill sparked through the illusionist as the older man said his name.
"Hai." The murmured words left his lips as he looked up...
And caught the ki blast full in the chest.
It slammed him back into the wall, searing through stolen clothing and flesh, crackling blue lightening, and he cried out in pain. It vanished as suddenly as it had come, and Tomo slid to the floor, the wound in his chest burning deep and pouring blood.
He stared up at Nakago, who looked back down at him out of the same emotionless azure eyes. "Dou-shi-te?" the younger man whispered in numb shock. "Naka-"
The blond's expression never changed. "You're no longer needed," he said with utter calm. Without another word, he turned on his heel and strode away.
Nakago-sama...
Wide, disbelieving eyes
Nakago-sama!
The purest of agonies screaming inside his soul, wailing denial and protest
Nakago!
A forlorn, anguished wail clawed at his throat; shuddering tears wracked
him. He wanted to scream, but didn't have the breath. Instead, he
tipped his head back against the wall, the salty tears streaming back into
his hair as he closed his eyes and waited for the darkness to come
and seal away his pain. A wandering, abandoned child, lost forever
in the night.
-
Blood. Hot around his body, flowing, draining, ebbing...
From the darkness... footsteps. Hurrying footsteps. They stopped. A gasp. Someone, beside him, kneeling down... Tomo cracked open his eyes, looking up, raw grief etched in his face.
Yui. A cup of water in her hand. Her face pale, one hand reaching out hesitantly.
He swallowed, and choked out her name, his voice cracked and filled with pain.
"Yui--sa-ma?"
He saw the recognition spasm across her young face. "Tomo?" she whispered, disbelieving. "What happened? Who did this to you? What happened?!"
He stared into her eyes.
Tell her! You can ruin him!
Wide
Tell her who killed you!
Horrified
Tell her she wasn't raped!
Vulnerable
Tell her he's used her!
Dark, dark blue
Tell her!
Not like Nakago's at all
Now
"Suzaku"
words whispered through whitened lips
and
"shichiseishi"
barely audible, carried on a breathless wisp of air
forever.
"Tamahome."
the fates of two countries, inextricably sealed
Yui went white. Her mouth moved soundlessly. Then, her hand clenched, her eyes narrowing. Bitter hatred and cold rage darkened her face. "Tomo," she whispered. "They'll pay for this. I promise you."
He nodded painfully. Yes... Make them pay... For taking away my dignity. For not just letting me die.
The last thing he felt was her hesitant embrace around his shoulders, pulling his head onto her shoulder, stroking his hair like the mother he'd never had.
And then the blessed darkness.
-
Blue radiance. Encompassing, enveloping.
"Chuin!"
The voice calls out of his memory, light and free.
He turns, looking.
"Chuin!"
An old man, blue eyes soft and fatherly.
"Chuin! Come on, Chuin!"
All of the pain and bitterness and anger and hate, falling away, slipping out of his memory like a dream.
Hands on his shoulders, a warm hug. Lifted up, put down on strong shoulders.
"Come on, Chuin. Let me teach you how to dance."
Aged hands, uplifting, bearing him away
Cool, sapphire silk, smooth, soothing
The ringing of a young boy's laughter
-----------------------------The End-------------------------------
And now for the requisite explanations as to what the Hell I was thinking.
Let me say right now that I didn't want to do that. Tomo is my baby, my favorite character in FY, and my favorite character in all of anime (and I watch a lot of anime). I think that, along with the rest of the Seiryuu, got horribly short-shafted in both the development and the fate departments. So why this ending?
I wanted to give Tomo something better. I'd planned
on his telling Yui the truth, or helping the Suzaku seishi. I
will say that the best I'd planned was for him falling quietly out of the
story, or at worst being killed defending/aiding the Suzaku. The
reason for these endings is this:
I get sick and tired of seeing AU stories that ask, "What if such and such
defected to the other side?" that address the characters turning, what
they do, how everything turns out happy for them and the Suzaku, and then
COMPLETELY IGNORE the fates of the OTHER Seiryuu seishi. I
didn't want this to turn into some twenty chapter epic that, knowing me,
I would be distracted from and never finish. All I wanted was a better
ending for Tomo.
But the fact of the matter is that, when I tried to write something closer to a happy ending--I stalled. My muses died, Tomo shut up, and the story refused to help. Simply put, the story would not let itself be written any other way. And in spite of how it ended, it still remains one of my favorite of my fanfictional works to date.
As for Nakago and his actions...
*spoilers for episode 35, 43-45 *
Before I hear any complaints about "Why would Nakago kill Tomo?" let me explain my justification. Nakago is about to summon Seiryuu in like under fricken half an hour. Yui is in the process of getting the Shinzaho. Suzaku is going to be sealed. Any number of people could kill the Suzaku shichiseishi now. Tomo's elaborate illusions are no longer needed. The only Seiryuu seishi still around are Miboshi (going to die very shortly), Soi (he won't kill her; he loves her whether he'll admit it or not), and Suboshi. Yui would be upset if Suboshi died, I think. Tomo, however? Tomo is a very powerful, strong-willed individual. And Nakago, seeing Tomo act and speak with perfect confidence even though he no longer wears makeup, is very well aware of this.
Also, I somehow don't think Tomo would necessarily approve of Nakago's
ultimate plan. At any rate, you can't tell me that Nakago isn't capable
of killing, because he kills Ashitare in cold blood, because Ashitare is
no longer useful towards him. It's the same deal with Tomo. Also, Nakago
knows damn good and well how Tomo feels about him. Take that statement
as you will. Anyway, I don't want a bunch of OOC flames about how anyone's
Nakkie-poo would never do
such-and-such on this section of the story. Under the circumstances
I wrote, I believe Nakago capable of killing Tomo.
If you read, "Bleeding," you know who that guy is. It's the fanfictional
old guy I put in Tomo's past. In my version (and in every story about Tomo's
past that I've ever written), an old man adopted Chuin after his mother
abandoned him. This old man (who I need a name for if anyone has any
suggestions) was killed a few months later by some of the drunkards
at the operahouse.
I considered a few different versions of the closing scene. (No the ending itself didn't give me enough trouble without then presenting a half dozen miniature potential endings for me to sort through). One was a place at Seiryuu's side, but I somehow don't think that Tomo would be all that charitably inclined towards Seiryuu, especially not in this fic. I get the feeling that Tomo would know perfectly well that he wasn't offered a choice in his role as defender/protecter/legendary hero. There was no noble sacrifice involved. He never had anything to give. He was never offered the choice. And there's no triumph if there's no choice. I thought about Tomo just drifting off to "sleep," but discarded that as well. The above scene is what I finally decided on. Tell me what you thought, minna!
Aeanagwen
