Maria and Evie the Semi Great present:

Karen, zee drunk






Evie: Yes, Karen is a drunk; we know this.

Maria: But, have you heard of her affair with Jack?

Evie: This won't turn out well…

Maria: Twas the night before the horse race….

Evie: And all through the town…

Maria: Not a shot glass could be seen…

Evie: hehe…

Maria: For Karen had drunken them all down…

Evie: she lay on the bar floor…

Maria: and Jack did appear…

Evie: With money in hand…

Maria: and a brand new beer…

Evie: It was 12:00 in the morning…

Maria: and that bud did look good…

Evie: And without any hesitation…

Maria: Karen did stood…

Evie: Did stood?

Maria: Shut up!

Evie: Okay, okay, calm down!

Maria: Just for that, I do the next verse!

Evie: Fine! Meanie…

Maria: She walked to the door…

Evie: With Jack's beer in hand…

Maria: (although we never clarified how she got the beer…) Walked out the door…

Evie: Jack ran after her…

Maria: And asked her once more…

Evie: (Even though he never asked her anything before-hand…) "Would you like fries with that…"

Maria: She turned around quickly and replied…

Evie: "WHAT?"…

Maria: Her bud and fries did sound good…

Evie: So she walked to Jack with a small strut…

Maria: thinking: "What a cute butt"…

Evie: Hehe…

Maria: she asked: "Where are my fries?"

Evie: "We have to be in the bar first" Jack replied…

Maria: the fact that they must go into the bar took her by surprise…

Evie: "But my legs are all weak and there's stuff in my eyes!"…

Maria: she did decide to go anyway…

Evie: Inside the bar they finally reached…

Maria: "I would appreciate my fries, if I may…"

Evie: Then suddenly without any warning…

Maria: Jack said the thing that she had been waiting for:

Evie: "PASS THE SALT!"

Maria: Those few words went down to the heart, down to the core…

Evie: Then Jack did shout: "Will you be mine forever more?"

Maria: This swept her off her feet, and she said…

Evie: "But Jack, I am already married…"

Maria: Jack, being Jack, didn't mind, because it was her that his mind carried…

Evie: Jack moved in swiftly, picking Karen up and running out the door…

Maria: "I wish to be yours, to be yours forever more…"

Evie: Jack shouted and began to head toward his farm…

Maria: Karen lay drunk, passed out in his arms…

Evie: That's when Jack decided to turn on his charms…

Maria: "I shall love you forever, and forever more…"

Evie: He repeated this again even with Karen unconscious…

Maria: although in her subconscious, it was becoming obnoxious…


NEXT DAY!


Evie: The next day Rick, Karen's husband, found Jack and Karen together…

Maria: and his heart seemed to curl up and shrivel…

Evie: Jack woke up and began to speak of the weather…

Maria: Karen was too deep in a hangover to even bother…

Evie: So Rick began to beat Jack into a coma…

Maria: And Karen went to the fridge, and searched for that last Corona…

Evie: Then everyone lived happily ever after…

Both: THE END!

Audience: FINALLY!!!






Author's notes:
Evie: WOO HOO!
Maria: WOO HOO INDEED!