Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre

Gads, not only does this chapter have lame jokes aplenty, it also has a SPOILER for the WHOLE TRIGUN SERIES. If you haven't already watched up to the last episode, please do so before reading on.

Chapter Three: Late Night Talk with Meryl and Milly

The girls are sitting on a couch listening to the radio. A familiar black cat snoozes at Milly's feet.

Kuroneko: Nyah.

Meryl: Milly, do you ever get tired of being called a skanky ho?

Milly: Sometimes. When that happens I pull out my knitting for a while. It helps me calm down, and for some reason it shuts people up.

Meryl: That's because your knitting needles are three feet long.

Milly: I knit for tall people!

Meryl: {grumbles}

Milly: Is something wrong?

Meryl: Nothing.

{The radio cuts in.}

Announcer: This is Michiko Kawaii with an Urgent Critical News Flash: giant galloping thunderclouds are approaching Hilltop at a tremendous rate of speed! Hurricane-force winds are expected! Lightning is striking everywhere! Duck and cover now!

Meryl: So, Wolfwood doing ok?

Milly: It's hard to tell. Sometimes he gets all quiet and contemplative and I wonder what he's thinking. I try to ask him and he goes on about how I'm not qualified to receive confessions. How about Vash?

Meryl: I should have never shown him that men's fashion magazine.

Milly: Why not?

Meryl: I'm allergic to the perfume.

{Laugh track from the radio.}

Meryl: {hitting the radio} It's not THAT funny.

Milly: Meryl, is there such a thing as pickle-flavored pudding?

Meryl: NO! Of course not! Yech! Why?

Milly: Oh, never mind. {knits. long pause. Meryl is in deep thought.}

Meryl: Milly, if you had to write a letter home to your parents saying you'd run off to marry a space alien, how would you phrase it?

Milly: {stops knitting} Hmmm. I think I would say, "Dear Mom and Dad, how are you? I am fine. The weather is good. I found someone I love very much and would like to marry. Is that ok? Love, me."

Meryl: That's it?

Milly: Yes, that should do it. {resumes knitting.}

Meryl: I can't stand it. {gets up, paces} "Dear Mom and Dad, after a successful if brief career as an insurance agent for the Bernardelli Insurance Society, my co-worker Milly and I have resigned to follow around this TOTAL LOSER SPACE ALIEN PLANT GUY named Vash the Stampede. You may have heard of him. We saved the planet but got in a lot of trouble for it and are now living in filth and obscurity. I still don't know what I see in the guy but we're going to get married. Can you please send some money so we can rent a chapel and don't have to have Vash's scraggy-ass preacher buddy do the ceremony?"

Milly: Wolfwood does not have a scraggy ass. He has a very nice ass. You wouldn't like it if I said nasty things about Vash's ass now, would you?

Meryl: Ok, ok, sorry.