Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre
by Myok

Chapter Six: Save the Doughnut

Late afternoon at the trailer park. Wolfwood has gone out on a shopping run. Vash is sprawled out on a deck chair with his sunglasses dangling off one ear. Meryl is typing away on her manual typewriter. Milly (as pregnant as ever) is practicing breathing exercises.

Milly: Huff, puff, whoosh. Huff, puff, whoosh.

Vash: {snores loudly}

Meryl: {grumbles, typing} These keys are sticking. {types harder} The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy bum. The smelly brown fox jumped over the drunk, lazy bum. The smelly no-good brown wolf jumped over the drunk, lazy, mentally-disturbed bum. The rotten smelly no-good broke-as-can-be preacher Wolfwood jumped over the drunk, lazy, mentally-disturbed and terminally clueless Vash the Stampede.

Vash: {blinking} What? Did you say something Meryl?

Meryl: No, nothing.

The coughing, banging sound of a hoopty-cycle grows near. Wolfwood steps off his bike, holding a bag of groceries in one hand and, joy of joys, a box of doughnuts in the other.

Vash: {sniffs, abruptly awakens} Doughnuts!

Wolfwood: {tossing a doughnut sideways} Vash, this one's yours.

Vash: Nooooooo! {takes long slow-motion leap through the air towards the doughnut}

Wolfwood: Now that that's done with, the rest of you take your pick. I hate how he always steals the first one.

Meryl: Thanks, Wolfwood.

Milly: Huff puff. Yes, thank you very much! {munches}

Vash is still diving towards the doughnut which is slowly revolving as it creeps across the sky.

Vash: {in slow-motion} Nooooooooo!

Wolfwood picks up Vash's dropped sunglasses.

Wolfwood: How can he see out of these things? Man they're dirty. {scrubs them against his scruffy jacket, tries them on. Boy does he look dumb. Meryl and Milly point and laugh.}

Wolfwood: Okay, okay! {takes them off}.

Vash is still flying through the air, his velocity slightly greater than that of the gently arcing doughnut.

Vash: {still slow-mo} Noooooooo!

Vash's grasping hands are inches away from the doughnut, but at that moment, a familiar squirrel leaps through the hole in the doughnut, which bursts into pieces! A pigeon flits over and starts pecking away hungrily.

Vash: {nose buried in the dirt} Aw dang it!

A black cat leaps into the clearing. The pigeon takes flight and the squirrel scampers away, each with a big mouthful of the remains. The cat tears off after them.

Vash: {in tears} Waaaaah!

Wolfwood, Meryl, Millie: {together} Now that's pathetic.