Well, here's the final part of Awakening, plus one very short epilogue and
another longer epilogue. Enjoy.
Notes: Fluff and all that. Big hugs go to Meia for dialogue help (I should give her co-author status, really.)
Five: Of Love, Loving, and being Loved
It was just Seishirou's luck that the very day he decided to talk to Subaru, a storm broke. By the time he found his way to Subaru's apartment building, he was soaked to the bone.
Dripping, he knocked on Subaru's door.
A minute later, the Sumeragi opened it, dressed as if to go out, completely with that hat. His expression registered first surprise, then anger. "Seishirou-san, what are you doing here?"
"I love you," said Seishirou.
Subaru gave him a silently disbelieving look.
"I don't know how to prove it, not so you'll believe it... All you have to go by is what I say, and heaven knows I've lied to you enough. But, I love you. And that's the truth."
"S-Seishirou-san..." said Subaru, very quietly.
"And... if you don't want me, I'll go, and you'll never have to see me again."
Subaru was silent. Seishirou reached out and tilted the boy's chin up gently to look into his eyes. Try as he might, he couldn't see anything but blank disbelief. Seishirou sighed. "I'm sorry, Subaru-kun. I'll go now."
He was nearly to the stairs when he heard the stuttering voice behind him. "S-Seishirou-san! Wait!"
"Yes?" he asked, not turning around.
Subaru paused, twisting his ridiculous hat in his hands nervously, not meeting Seishirou's gaze. "I -- I do believe you. I think. At least, I don't want you to go..."
Seishirou gave him a long look.
"Let's just go inside and talk, okay?" said Subaru, blushing slightly.
Seishirou nodded. Subaru walked him to his door and followed him inside. "Although, perhaps you might want to get changed first?" asked Subaru, ever the gracious host.
Seishirou had almost forgotten that he was still dripping wet. "Thank you, Subaru-kun," he said, accepting the towel Subaru pushed his way and making his way to the bathroom.
The water was comfortably warm, for which he was grateful. It was cold standing out in the hallway in wet clothes.
It wasn't until he got out that he realised he didn't have anything to get changed into. All his outer clothing was definitely not wearable. Shrugging, he wrapped a towel around his waist and went out to meet his fate.
Subaru was in the kitchen, making tea. Even from the doorway, Seishirou could see he was trembling -- not too noticeably, but enough that Seishirou was reluctant to trust him with anything involving boiling water.
Turning and seeing Seishirou, Subaru turned a vivid red and almost dropped the kettle. "Seishirou-san! I have clothing, if you want to..."
Seishirou gently took the kettle off him. "I don't think you have anything I'd fit into, Subaru-kun."
"But... aren't you cold?"
"You have central heating," said Seishirou, shrugging. "I'll be fine. Now, stand back and let me finish this tea, okay?"
Ignoring Subaru's protests, he efficiently finished the job, without even spilling a drop of water.
"Seishirou-san..." said Subaru, when they were sitting at the table.
"Yes?"
"Would you really have left?"
"Mm." Seishirou nodded, taking a sip of his tea. "If you didn't want me."
"What would you have done?" asked Subaru, curiously.
He shrugged. "I would have just gone, I guess. Moved out, found another job..."
Subaru's next question surprised him. "Why?"
Seishirou hesitated. "Because... " Because I'd rather you be happy without me than unhappy with me, he thought. But he couldn't tell Subaru that. Not yet. "Because... it was you asking me to go," he said eventually.
Subaru gave him another one of those disbelieving looks that seemed so different to the Subaru that Seishirou knew. "Why does it matter to you, anyway?"
"Because... I love you." The words felt odd on his lips.
"You're the Sakurazukamori! You aren't capable of love! You told me so yourself!" yelled Subaru, leaning forward across the table.
"I had some words with the Tree," said Seishirou, uncomfortably.
"You... what?" said Subaru, in a small voice.
"I had a little talk with the Sakura," he repeated. "I wasn't happy with some of the things it was doing."
Subaru looked puzzled. "So... you're not the Sakurazukamori any more?"
Seishirou frowned. "I can't just STOP being the Sakurazukamori. The balance has to stay. But..."
"But...?"
"But I don't have to be heartless."
Subaru looked like he was going to protest again.
"You loved me, didn't you?" said Seishirou, before Subaru could speak.
The Sumeragi blinked at him. "Y-yes..." he said, honestly. "But..."
"Because of that, you've changed me."
"What?"
"You taught me... lots of things. The Tree can't take that away from me," said Seishirou, earnestly.
"But you have to kill people!" cried Subaru.
"I save people, too... And I assure you, I only kill those people that deserve it."
"And feed their souls to your tree."
"I'm not going to do that anymore. You've made that impossible."
"I'm sor-"
Seishirou put a hand over his mouth. "Don't apologise for that."
Subaru gave him a look when he removed his hand. "So, if all that's true, what are you going to do about your successor?"
He paused. 'Allow someone else to kill me' wasn't really the response Subaru would like. "Well... It isn't as though I'm going to be killed again so soon... I expect I'll be able to work something out."
Subaru continued giving him that flat stare. "Seishirou-san, I told you that I've been doing a lot of growing up. I know when someone's blatantly lying to me, now..."
Seishirou winced inwardly. "Well, I suppose eventually someone is going to have to kill me."
"Who?"
"I have no idea. I don't have any children, myself."
"Seishirou-san! That's horrible!" said Subaru, once he figured out Seishirou's meaning.
"It was supposed to be you," Seishirou added, very quietly.
Subaru looked confused.
"Because you're the one that I love, you're the one that was supposed to kill me..."
The silence stretched between them, uncomfortable and strained. Seishirou was beginning to regret admitting it, now.
"That doesn't make sense," said Subaru, finally. "You told me you couldn't love."
"It's a spell the Tree binds to the Sakurazukamori. It was weakening. The moment it completely dissolved on its own would have been the moment of my death. Therefore, after I died, I had my heart back."
"But then after you killed Yami..."
"I knew what feeling was like. I wanted my heart back, and the tree... had no choice but to agree. And besides..." He paused for effect. "I missed you." Seishirou was almost surprised to find that that was the truth.
Subaru looked like he was about to cry.
"Seishirou-san, I..."
"Do you still love me, Subaru-kun? Can you still love me?"
Subaru laughed, tearfully. "I don't think I can stop. God knows I've tried..."
He brushed Subaru's tears away again, a repeat of his earlier action -- and this time, Subaru let him continue uninterrupted.
He didn't even protest the kiss.
"Kakyou-san asked me once if I could live without you. He knew what was going to happen," said Seishioru, when they broke apart.
"And...?"
"He was right. I couldn't."
He was almost amused to see the tears spring to Subaru's eyes. Even after all this time, he was still just a sensitive young boy.
"I couldn't bear to lose you," sobbed Subaru. "When I told you to never come back... it almost killed me." His tears were falling freely now.
Seishirou bent down to gently lick them away, expecting Subaru to blush adorably and pull back. He was therefore surprised when the Sumeragi only stiffened and let out a small gasp, turning faintly pink.
So, maybe one thing had changed.
Seishirou very gently led the boy in the direction of the bedroom. Once there, in front of the bed, he let the towel drop. Predictably, Subaru turned strawberry.
They made love for the first time on Subaru's bed, wrapped up in soft comforters with the rain still pouring down outside.
Subaru cried a lot, but they were healing tears - the tears of a broken heart that has finally found its other half.
They slept.
~ END ~
Notes: Fluff and all that. Big hugs go to Meia for dialogue help (I should give her co-author status, really.)
Five: Of Love, Loving, and being Loved
It was just Seishirou's luck that the very day he decided to talk to Subaru, a storm broke. By the time he found his way to Subaru's apartment building, he was soaked to the bone.
Dripping, he knocked on Subaru's door.
A minute later, the Sumeragi opened it, dressed as if to go out, completely with that hat. His expression registered first surprise, then anger. "Seishirou-san, what are you doing here?"
"I love you," said Seishirou.
Subaru gave him a silently disbelieving look.
"I don't know how to prove it, not so you'll believe it... All you have to go by is what I say, and heaven knows I've lied to you enough. But, I love you. And that's the truth."
"S-Seishirou-san..." said Subaru, very quietly.
"And... if you don't want me, I'll go, and you'll never have to see me again."
Subaru was silent. Seishirou reached out and tilted the boy's chin up gently to look into his eyes. Try as he might, he couldn't see anything but blank disbelief. Seishirou sighed. "I'm sorry, Subaru-kun. I'll go now."
He was nearly to the stairs when he heard the stuttering voice behind him. "S-Seishirou-san! Wait!"
"Yes?" he asked, not turning around.
Subaru paused, twisting his ridiculous hat in his hands nervously, not meeting Seishirou's gaze. "I -- I do believe you. I think. At least, I don't want you to go..."
Seishirou gave him a long look.
"Let's just go inside and talk, okay?" said Subaru, blushing slightly.
Seishirou nodded. Subaru walked him to his door and followed him inside. "Although, perhaps you might want to get changed first?" asked Subaru, ever the gracious host.
Seishirou had almost forgotten that he was still dripping wet. "Thank you, Subaru-kun," he said, accepting the towel Subaru pushed his way and making his way to the bathroom.
The water was comfortably warm, for which he was grateful. It was cold standing out in the hallway in wet clothes.
It wasn't until he got out that he realised he didn't have anything to get changed into. All his outer clothing was definitely not wearable. Shrugging, he wrapped a towel around his waist and went out to meet his fate.
Subaru was in the kitchen, making tea. Even from the doorway, Seishirou could see he was trembling -- not too noticeably, but enough that Seishirou was reluctant to trust him with anything involving boiling water.
Turning and seeing Seishirou, Subaru turned a vivid red and almost dropped the kettle. "Seishirou-san! I have clothing, if you want to..."
Seishirou gently took the kettle off him. "I don't think you have anything I'd fit into, Subaru-kun."
"But... aren't you cold?"
"You have central heating," said Seishirou, shrugging. "I'll be fine. Now, stand back and let me finish this tea, okay?"
Ignoring Subaru's protests, he efficiently finished the job, without even spilling a drop of water.
"Seishirou-san..." said Subaru, when they were sitting at the table.
"Yes?"
"Would you really have left?"
"Mm." Seishirou nodded, taking a sip of his tea. "If you didn't want me."
"What would you have done?" asked Subaru, curiously.
He shrugged. "I would have just gone, I guess. Moved out, found another job..."
Subaru's next question surprised him. "Why?"
Seishirou hesitated. "Because... " Because I'd rather you be happy without me than unhappy with me, he thought. But he couldn't tell Subaru that. Not yet. "Because... it was you asking me to go," he said eventually.
Subaru gave him another one of those disbelieving looks that seemed so different to the Subaru that Seishirou knew. "Why does it matter to you, anyway?"
"Because... I love you." The words felt odd on his lips.
"You're the Sakurazukamori! You aren't capable of love! You told me so yourself!" yelled Subaru, leaning forward across the table.
"I had some words with the Tree," said Seishirou, uncomfortably.
"You... what?" said Subaru, in a small voice.
"I had a little talk with the Sakura," he repeated. "I wasn't happy with some of the things it was doing."
Subaru looked puzzled. "So... you're not the Sakurazukamori any more?"
Seishirou frowned. "I can't just STOP being the Sakurazukamori. The balance has to stay. But..."
"But...?"
"But I don't have to be heartless."
Subaru looked like he was going to protest again.
"You loved me, didn't you?" said Seishirou, before Subaru could speak.
The Sumeragi blinked at him. "Y-yes..." he said, honestly. "But..."
"Because of that, you've changed me."
"What?"
"You taught me... lots of things. The Tree can't take that away from me," said Seishirou, earnestly.
"But you have to kill people!" cried Subaru.
"I save people, too... And I assure you, I only kill those people that deserve it."
"And feed their souls to your tree."
"I'm not going to do that anymore. You've made that impossible."
"I'm sor-"
Seishirou put a hand over his mouth. "Don't apologise for that."
Subaru gave him a look when he removed his hand. "So, if all that's true, what are you going to do about your successor?"
He paused. 'Allow someone else to kill me' wasn't really the response Subaru would like. "Well... It isn't as though I'm going to be killed again so soon... I expect I'll be able to work something out."
Subaru continued giving him that flat stare. "Seishirou-san, I told you that I've been doing a lot of growing up. I know when someone's blatantly lying to me, now..."
Seishirou winced inwardly. "Well, I suppose eventually someone is going to have to kill me."
"Who?"
"I have no idea. I don't have any children, myself."
"Seishirou-san! That's horrible!" said Subaru, once he figured out Seishirou's meaning.
"It was supposed to be you," Seishirou added, very quietly.
Subaru looked confused.
"Because you're the one that I love, you're the one that was supposed to kill me..."
The silence stretched between them, uncomfortable and strained. Seishirou was beginning to regret admitting it, now.
"That doesn't make sense," said Subaru, finally. "You told me you couldn't love."
"It's a spell the Tree binds to the Sakurazukamori. It was weakening. The moment it completely dissolved on its own would have been the moment of my death. Therefore, after I died, I had my heart back."
"But then after you killed Yami..."
"I knew what feeling was like. I wanted my heart back, and the tree... had no choice but to agree. And besides..." He paused for effect. "I missed you." Seishirou was almost surprised to find that that was the truth.
Subaru looked like he was about to cry.
"Seishirou-san, I..."
"Do you still love me, Subaru-kun? Can you still love me?"
Subaru laughed, tearfully. "I don't think I can stop. God knows I've tried..."
He brushed Subaru's tears away again, a repeat of his earlier action -- and this time, Subaru let him continue uninterrupted.
He didn't even protest the kiss.
"Kakyou-san asked me once if I could live without you. He knew what was going to happen," said Seishioru, when they broke apart.
"And...?"
"He was right. I couldn't."
He was almost amused to see the tears spring to Subaru's eyes. Even after all this time, he was still just a sensitive young boy.
"I couldn't bear to lose you," sobbed Subaru. "When I told you to never come back... it almost killed me." His tears were falling freely now.
Seishirou bent down to gently lick them away, expecting Subaru to blush adorably and pull back. He was therefore surprised when the Sumeragi only stiffened and let out a small gasp, turning faintly pink.
So, maybe one thing had changed.
Seishirou very gently led the boy in the direction of the bedroom. Once there, in front of the bed, he let the towel drop. Predictably, Subaru turned strawberry.
They made love for the first time on Subaru's bed, wrapped up in soft comforters with the rain still pouring down outside.
Subaru cried a lot, but they were healing tears - the tears of a broken heart that has finally found its other half.
They slept.
