DISCLAIMER:- All names and characters are copyright of JK Rowling yadda yadda yadda you get the idea I'm only f**king around with these characters for my own amusement haha….
Snape and Lily Evans
Part One
Ahem….
It was a fine midsummer's evening,
No, that sounds stupid…hmmm…..
Snape woke up with his head pounding; the dream again. Every night he saw her naked body beside him as he caressed her and then he woke up to find himself lying alone and still fully clothed with no dreamy red head softly whispering naughty things into his ear. Damn, and it was still the same size. Bugger.
Severus Snape got out of bed and went to the mirror hung on the wall; he began to shave himself as he did so every morning because he didn't like the idea of having a beard: it made him look and feel old and he wanted to stay fresh and young all the time because Severus fancied that eventually someone will want his body and then he could show off how youthful he was to this special someone with a clean shaven chin.
He dressed in the finest of black robes, picked up the brush by the mirror, looked at it, decided to leave it this morning and threw it over his shoulder and walked out.
There was an awful noise and before turning around he already knew what had happened. He threw the brush a little too hard and it had cracked the mirror, jagged lines reaching from the centre outwards like a starfish.
Damn.
Damn, damn and blast.
He went back to it and looked at his distorted reflections and then peered closer at one of them. It certainly wasn't his!
"Severus Snape you bug-eyed little git, get me outta here and stop gawpin' at me you perverted ratbag!"
He jumped back.
"L-Lily?"
"Yes Lily! Now get me out of this stupid mirror, I've been trapped in here for years, and yes I do know what you do every night thank you very much I'd rather not see it anymore thank you, awfully the wrong shape entirely."
His head swung down shamefully and he stuttered.
"B-but how can you be in t-there? Why haven't y-you talked to me before?"
"Because the damn mirror's cracked you idiot! The cracks allow my voice to travel through into the world so that you can hear me!" Lily's flickering face kept sweeping into other positions like a flipbook and as she went on Snape felt more and more bashful as if he was back at school again in Lily's presence. Well there she was, clearly, but her whole attitude had changed completely from how he remembered her. Suddenly she spun round and called out a name Snape didn't like to hear even to this day.
"James! Get your butt over here, this may be our chance to get out of this damn thing!" The figure of James came forward to stand next to Lily, he looked just as mean and snappy as her; they had changed.
"Of course we have Snape," Jame's reflection said with a low growl. "How d'you think you'd behave after being trapped in here for sixteen years?"
"You can read my mind?"
"Yes, you look at the mirror every morning and we have to watch you shave and pull faces at yourself for your own enjoyment, God knows what horrors we've seen." That was James speaking, shuddering and turning away.
He couldn't think right now. This was too weird. Snape just shook his head and laughed.
"Screw you guys, I'm going off to work." And he left the room, with James and Lily screaming abuse at him through their glass prison.
(Green Pig:- yes I decided to get rid of that horrible underscore on my pen name, but anywayz, this has only one more part to go and I wasn't really trying at all to get a good or even sane story out of this. Hey I seem to write more insane Snape fics than serious ones haha. Enjoy this? Well I'll put part 2 up at the same time as this cuz I can't be bothered to waste time expecting reviews to come in.)
