By Sauscony
E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz
Rating: R for a couple of rude words
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended.
"I'll get it," Xander offered when someone knocked on the dorm room door.
"So they just left?" Tara asked her girlfriend for the third time.
Willow nodded, also for the third time. "And after that Giles asked Xander and me to leave."
"That's rude," Anya said crossly, her eyes on Xander as he reached the door and totally unaware of the concept of the pot and the kettle.
"And Mr Wyndham-Pryce?"
"He offered to go for a walk," Willow answered. "I think Wesley might finally be getting a clue."
"Well, look who's here. Our Miss Mystery." Xander's voice was sarcastic, with an edge it didn't often have.
If anything, it made Rebecca turn a little paler, making the tear stains on cheeks even more obvious. Even so she didn't back down, just asked quietly, "Can I come in?"
Xander looked at Willow - it was her room after all - and she nodded. "Whatever," Xander agreed ungraciously and stood aside to let Becca in.
She stopped uncertainly once inside, seeking out Willow. Finding the redhead, she took a deep breath and said into the waiting silence, "I think I've done something terrible."
If Willow had 'Spidey Senses' the way Buffy did, she would have said that this girl made them tingle. She was connected to Buffy somehow and Willow didn't want her best friend hurt. Of course, the fact that Becca had somehow realised what Riley was doing and prevented him from proposing earned her several million points in Willow's book. It had taken her a good half an hour to realise that was what had just happened and in that instant Rebecca had been her number one new best friend. So the least Willow could do was listen while Becca said whatever it was she had to say.
And the fact Becca was standing there, clear evidence on her face that she had been crying and looking like she wanted to be sick made Willow want to go over and hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right. It was just that she had to find out what had gone wrong first.
"What happened?" she asked in a voice so gentle it made Xander stare at her in surprise.
Becca looked around the other people crowded in the dorm room. Xander, his expression suspicious and protective; Anya looking faintly bored; Willow, patient and waiting and Tara, just watching her, silently supportive.
She swallowed and asked the question that had only occurred to her as she saw Giles' sudden, carefully shuttered expression.
"Is Mr Giles in love with Buffy?"
There was a moment's silence; still and waiting, of the you-could-hear-a-pin- drop variety.
Then...
"What?!" Xander almost shrieked.
"Yes," Willow said firmly.
Yes," Tara added quietly.
"Well, duh!" Anya concluded, giving her boyfriend a disgusted look. "Gee, Xander, how blind are you? He has been for ages."
"Although I think he only worked it out after we did that joining spell to defeat Adam," Willow clarified.
Xander sat down abruptly on the nearest surface - a chair covered in pillows and discarded women's clothing. "You have got to be kidding me."
Anya patted him on the shoulder. "Open your eyes, Xander," she suggested.
"Watch the way he looks at her," Tara added, exchanging a covert glance with her girlfriend that made them both blush and smile.
"He'd never scorn her," Anya finished in a voice that suggested that explained everything.
It certainly seemed to end the argument as far as Xander was concerned. He nodded reluctantly. "Okay, Giles is in love with Buffy." He gave his friends a pleading look. "So why aren't I going Eewwwww?"
"Because you're finally starting to grow up," Willow suggested, the smile on her face taking the edge out of her words.
"Scary," Xander said reflectively. "Very, very scary."
Well, Becca had the answer to her first question and it was exactly what she had expected. Now she had to ask the second, and it was the possible answer to that one which really frightened her.
"What about Buffy?"
"Is Buffy in love with Buffy?" Xander said facetiously. "Frightening concept, even on the Hellmouth."
"No, Doofus." Willow threw a cushion at him. "She means - "
"I know what she means," Xander interrupted. "She means is Buffy in love with Giles? I was just trying for a little tension reducing humour."
"It didn't work," Anya informed him helpfully.
Xander nodded. "I was getting that impression."
"Is she?" Becca asked again. "What about Riley?"
"Why do you want to know?" Willow asked her quietly. "I mean, you've only just got here, and suddenly you're all like, tell me everyone's darkest secrets."
"Love isn't a dark secret, sweetie," Tara protested.
"Well, no," Willow conceded. "But you know what I mean." She looked back at Becca. "Why do you want to know?"
Becca had already worked out how she was going to answer that inevitable question on the way over. By telling the truth - mostly - and bending it a little as need required. "Giles was talking to me about the prophecy. He thinks that because I came from somewhere at the same time Mr Whatshisname came with the scroll, maybe I'm supposed to help. He was talking about moving to... Going wherever Buffy goes I mean, and I just thought I saw something in his face."
She paused as she remembered the sudden, shuttered expression on Giles' face. "I know I'm only seventeen and I haven't really ever done the 'falling in love' thing - well, except for Bobby Squires in second grade, but we were only seven." Becca realised everyone was staring at her and tried to get back to her point. "Anyway, wouldn't it be really awful to be in love with someone and see them all the time with someone else and have to pretend you didn't care?"
"Translation?" Xander begged.
Willow was looking at Becca with a new respect. "She means Giles would go wherever Buffy needed him, even if she married Riley and he had to go live on some farm in Iowa or something."
"And that he'd never stop loving her," Tara added softly. "He'd just hide it away and pretend he didn't feel anything at all."
"I don't think we should let him," Becca said firmly. "He deserves better."
"What?" Xander stared at her. "Are you saying we should tell Giles to abandon Buffy? First, he wouldn't listen to us and even if he did, second, he wouldn't do it. None of us would."
Becca shook her head. "I'm not saying that." She took a very deep breath. "I'm saying maybe Buffy shouldn't be with Riley. Maybe she should be with Giles instead." She went back to one of her original questions, the one that still hadn't been answered. "What about Buffy? Does she really love Riley? What about Giles?"
"Riley doesn't deserve her," Anya said flatly.
"We know that," Xander agreed. He was looking at his girlfriend as if she'd just sprouted demon horns. "How do you know that?"
Anya gave him another 'duh' look. "He loves her like a toy. A pretty thing that shows what a great man he is to have her on his arm. And he so does not get the Slayer thing. He thinks he likes it that she's stronger than him, but he'll get sick of it." For a moment, she looked about a thousand years old. "I've seen it happen before."
"I think that's a bit harsh," Tara protested. "He does love her."
"Ahn's right," Xander agreed slowly. He glanced at Tara. "You are too I think. He loves her, but on his terms."
Willow laughed. "And Buffy's going to bow to someone else's terms? Never. Look at all the grief she gave Giles about being her Watcher."
"I think she will," Becca said in a very small voice. "Because she wants everything to be normal. And she thinks he'll make it normal."
Willow's smile froze. "She might..." she said slowly. "She's always said she just wanted to be normal. To have a normal life." She shook her head, more to convince herself than out of certainty. "But then she wouldn't be Buffy."
"No," Becca agreed, and there was something in her voice that made the other four look at her afresh, as if somehow she knew the answer while they were only guessing.
"She'll try so hard to be normal; she'll do all the things a Mrs Finn should do. Live in the normal world; no Slayers, no Watchers, no vampires, no monsters, no destinies. But she isn't normal. She's special. She's Called, Chosen..."
"And if she abandons that, she'll abandon every thing that she is," Xander finished. "Oh no, we so have to stop this."
"Sure, Buffy's going to let you tell her to break up with her boyfriend," Anya told him scornfully.
"What about the baby?" Tara asked hesitantly.
"Baby?" Willow repeated blankly.
"The prophecy," Becca clarified, and there was an inexplicable wobble in her voice. "That the Slayer's daughter is going to save the world."
Xander shuddered theatrically. "If the fate of the world is going to rest on Buffy and Riley's kid and it's Riley, being Mr Normal Guy, that brings her up..." He did the shudder thing again. "The world is doomed."
It was a long silence that followed, the only sounds muffled voices in the corridor outside, a bang of a car backfiring out on the road. Until Rebecca spoke, her voice almost too low to hear.
"I agree with you. Buffy and Riley's daughter can't save the world."
"Maybe if Giles talked to them," Willow suggested. "Made sure the kid knew about Slayers and stuff, trained her like he trains Buffy?"
"You'd make him do that?" Anya asked. "Hang around all the time and help the woman he loves and her husband to raise their child. Always loving her and always on the outside. And you say I did horrible things to men."
"He'd do it," Tara said. "He'd do it and it would kill him inside, a little bit every day."
Willow was looking shaken. "Tara's right. Look at everything Giles has already faced and suffered for Buffy. He shouldn't have to do this too."
"And I say again, how do we stop him?" Xander asked. "He'll never abandon Buffy."
Willow sighed. "And then there's the prophecy. We've twisted them before, but we've never actually avoided one. Buffy and Riley are going to have a kid, and she'll need Giles' help to be ready."
"But if Buffy wants her daughter to be normal, maybe she'll send Giles away," Tara suggested unhappily. "Buffy telling him to go is the only thing that would make Giles leave."
"And since that means the kid won't be ready..." Xander leaned back in the chair, his expression unusually grave. "I repeat, the world is doomed."
The four friends exchanged gloomy glances, while Becca, still standing by the door, tried to get up enough courage to say what needed to be said. Finally, she took a deep breath and stepped into the middle of the room, the movement making everyone turn to look at her.
"The prophecy doesn't say Buffy and Riley will have a baby," she said in a strained voice. "It just talks about the Slayer's daughter. Buffy's daughter. No mention of who the father is." Expressions of equal surprise and hope settled on the other faces in the room. "Is Buffy in love with Giles?" she asked again.
The silence was even longer this time.
"I don't know," Willow said finally. "I'm sure she loves him, but I don't think she's in love with him."
"She's afraid," Tara said quietly.
Willow spun around to stare at her girlfriend. "What?"
"She's terrified of loving anyone," Tara explained. "Can't you see it? Everyone's right, she doesn't really love Riley, she just needs to feel like she does. What happened to her to make her so scared?"
Xander pulled a face. "Deadboy happened, that's what."
"Who?" Anya, Becca and Tara exchanged confused glances.
"Angel," Willow clarified. "Xand's right. Angel happened and yeah, maybe she is afraid of falling in love again. After all, that ended real badly."
"Who's Angel?" Anya demanded.
"Buffy's old boyfriend," Xander answered shortly, an edge to his words. "Vampire, tried to kill us, moved to LA. Bad stuff."
"Buffy went out with a vampire?" Tara asked in a startled voice.
"No." Willow shook her head. "Buffy loved Angel. Xander has Angel issues."
"And you don't?" Xander asked her sharply. "Remember the whole 'I'm going to kill you and suck the world into hell thing'? And what he did to Giles?"
"That was Angelus, not Angel," Willow insisted, but she didn't sound completely sure.
"Huh?" It was only one word, and supposed to be a rather vague and confused one at that, but coming from Anya is was a demand for more information, issued in no uncertain terms.
"It's a long story," Willow said with a sigh. "Short version. Buffy fell in love with Angel. Angel turned out to be a vampire. But he had a soul which made him a good vampire. Then he..." She hesitated, exchanging a glance with Xander. "...he lost his soul again and turned all evil and tried to kill everyone. He did kill one of the teachers from school, who Giles was kind of sweet on. I did a spell to restore his soul, but Buffy had to kill him to save the world from being sucked into Hell. Then he came back and... Well, it was pretty bad. He left town at the end of High School. He broke Buffy's heart, even though she knew it was better that he left."
"That's the short version?" Tara asked.
Xander snorted. "The very short version."
"I think Buffy's only loved two people in her life," Willow said softly. "Angel and now Giles. I don't know if she's in love with Giles, but she does love him."
"Which," Xander said with sudden insight, "is probably why she spent most of this last year ignoring him."
"Because she's afraid," Willow agreed with a nod.
"Buffy and Angel would be bad," Xander insisted.
"But Giles..." Willow looked up at Xander, the other original Scooby in the room. "And Buffy and Giles' kid - the world would have a much better chance."
"Only if she loves him," Tara insisted, sounding much more forceful than usual. "You can't force someone to love someone else."
Willow smiled, the expression unexpectedly wicked. "But you can give them a little push and see what happens. I'll talk to Buffy." Her 'resolve face' slid across her features as she picked up a jacket. "I'll do it now." At the door she stopped and turned back to her friends. "Before I chicken out and change my mind."
And she was gone, leaving the other four to look at each other and wonder if such full-scale interference was warranted or not.
I just so cannot believe I just did that.
I just talked my mother's friends into getting her to break up with my father before I'm ever conceived.
What's going to happen to me now?
But what else could I do?
They were right - Daddy doesn't love her. Not like someone like Mama deserves to be loved. He just wants this picture perfect wife and daughter. And we're not. We're real, passionate people who have been banged and moulded into something we're not.
I didn't realise it had happened to me until I talked to Giles. And because I never knew any different I didn't know it had happened to Mama. But now I've seen her - Buffy, who laughs and cries and does everything with passion - I couldn't bear for her to turn into the quiet woman I remember, with all the fire taken away.
Giles would never let that happen to her. He would support her and protect her and love her, but - and this is what Daddy could never, ever understand - he'd also let her go out and face the darkness like she is Called to do.
Daddy tried to protect her - and me - but wrapping us up in cotton wool and making us weak.
Giles would protect her by loving her and guiding her and training her and making her strong.
And he would do the same for their daughter.
Who won't be me.
I know I'm doing the right thing, but I'm so very, very scared. What's going to happen to me now?
"What's up, Wills?"
Buffy dropped into the seat opposite Willow at the Espresso Pump and reached gratefully for the moccachino Willow had waiting for her.. She looked tired. She had circles around her eyes and she had a washed out look that wasn't usual for her. It was almost enough to make Willow change her mind and make a run for it, but she took another calming breath and refused to let herself scare herself off.
But she still needed a little reassurance. "We're best friends, aren't we Buffy? I mean, I know last year got pretty bad, but we're past that, right? We're best friends and we can tell each other anything?"
Buffy looked at her with a puzzled look on her face. "I already know you're gay, Will. No big. I think it's cute. You and Tara, I mean."
Willow blushed, warmed by her friend's near lack of interest in the topic. It had been an issue a few months back and to know that now it wasn't made her feel so good inside. She didn't want to lose Buffy's friendship for anything. And she was about to say and do something that could kill it forever. The warm feeling went away, replaced by a colder, more scary one.
She shook her head. "This is about something else. We really can talk about anything, can't we?"
Buffy was starting to look a little worried. "Sure," she agreed slowly. "What do you want to talk about?"
Willow swallowed and told herself firmly not to babble. "It's about the prophecy Wesley found," she started carefully.
Buffy's face went shuttered. "What about it?" she asked tightly.
"Well..." Willow shrugged mentally and decided just to jump in at the deep end and hope she didn't drown - or that Buffy didn't do the job for her. "Even if it's going to happen, about you having a daughter and stuff I mean..." She trailed off at the look on Buffy's face - hurt, confused, closed. "It only talks about you, not the father," she blurted out. "What if it's not Riley?"
"Riley's my boyfriend," Buffy snapped back. "Are you suggesting I'm cheating on him?"
"Of course not," Willow said hurriedly. "It's just that, well, it doesn't have to be him. It doesn't have to happen soon either. What if it's some guy you haven't met yet?" The conversation in the dorm room ringing in her head, she added, "What if it's someone you just haven't noticed yet?"
"So you're saying I should just dump my boyfriend and wait for a hypothetical Mr Destiny to turn up?" Buffy's voice was a cross between angry and lost. "I've done the destiny thing. It sucks."
Buffy looked at her friend and sighed, momentarily looking about three times her age. "I just want to be normal, Willow? Is that so wrong? If I'm supposed to have a daughter, I don't want her to have the kind of screwed up childhood I did. I don't want her to know the monsters under the bed are real. I just want her to be safe and happy."
"But Buffy..." Willow was starting both to feel and to sound distressed. "If she's meant to save the world, she has to know about that kind of stuff. Or how will she be ready?"
"No." The word was flat, emotionless and allowed for no compromise. Buffy glared across the table, her coffee ignored and forgotten. "Have you been talking to Giles? That's the kind of thing he'd say. You have to be ready, Buffy. It's time to save the world again, Buffy. He's not saying that to my daughter." All the anger went out of her and she seemed to deflate. "Riley says he'll look after us. He'll make sure we're happy and the bad things don't come after us. That's what I want, Willow."
But looking at her, Willow didn't think she looked convinced. It was more like she was trying to convince herself.
She got up without another word and walked out of the coffee shop, leaving Willow to watch her retreating back.
"You're right," Willow whispered softly into the silence, thinking of Tara. "She's beyond afraid. She's absolutely terrified. And she's going to the wrong person for help."
She sighed and pushed her own coffee mug away from her. "And I mucked it up completely."
