PARADOX
By Sauscony

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz
Rating: R for a couple of rude words
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended.

* * * * * Seven * * * * *

The Scooby Gang - minus Buffy as had often been the case lately - were gathered in Giles' apartment. Even without Buffy, the addition of Becca and Wesley meant space was at a premium and Willow and Tara had ended up sitting on the floor while everyone else took what seats were available.

Wesley was sitting at Giles' desk, poring over the copy of the manuscript he'd brought with him, while Giles himself had gone upstairs to find a book he thought he'd been reading in the loft one evening.

That was when the door crashed open and Buffy came hurtling in, looking like there was an entire demonic army behind her.

She glanced around the room in an instant and immediately came up one short. "Where's Giles?"

Xander waved an arm in the vague direction of the loft. "Upstairs. What's the matter, Buff?"

But Buffy was already charging up the stairs and he was talking to empty air. She knew she couldn't stop moving, because if she did, she might chicken out. All that fear and uncertainly she'd only just been able to give a name might stick out its leg and trip her up, side-track her so that she said something inane or careless like she usually did.

Giles, hearing the commotion downstairs, walked out of his bedroom and straight into Buffy's oncoming rush. He would have staggered backwards and fallen except for the fact that she wrapped her arms around him and caught him, pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

The book he was carrying - fortunately a ratty modern paperback he didn't hold any great affection for - clattered to the floor as he tried to regain his balance. He did it the only way he could. By hugging her back.

And that was when he realised that she was shaking. He tried to pull away from her a little, but she wouldn't let him, so all he could do was whisper into her hair. "Buffy, what's wrong?"

Her voice was muffled, coming from somewhere in the vicinity of his chest. "I broke up with Riley."

Part of his heart wanted to sing; the rest of it broke for her. He finally managed to pry himself loose enough to look down at her. Reluctantly, she raised her head to meet his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he said softly. "I know every misunderstanding seems like the end of the world, but I'm sure he'll come back."

He was startled when she shook her head. "No. He didn't break up with me. I broke up with him and I'm glad I did."

Giles moved from startled into totally confused. Certainly not an unknown state of mind when it came to Buffy, but generally disconcerting all the same. "I don't understand," he said slowly. "Yesterday, you said..." He glanced down at the group of people downstairs, all very carefully and obviously not listening. He shook his head. "And Becca..."

Buffy smiled. The smile that had been missing so often of late; the one that made her face light up and the world get a little brighter, the one that made his heart do funny things that couldn't be good for a man of his age.

"It was Becca that helped me see. That there's more than one way to fulfil a prophecy and it doesn't have to include making the most colossal mistake of my life." She looked at him ruefully. "And you know I've already made some big ones."

"Becca..." Giles said again helplessly.

"Yeah, Becca, Parrot-man." Buffy grinned at him, before the smile faltered. "Well, her and Riley acting like a great big Mr Jerk. I'm so stupid sometimes."

"You are not stupid," Giles protested automatically. "Stubborn, short- sighted and occasionally wilfully blind, but not stupid."

"I think that's a compliment." She chuckled, her arms tightening around him, and it was only then that he realised they were still standing in each other's arms. It had felt so natural he hadn't even noticed. Suddenly embarrassed, overwhelmed, he pulled out of her arms. For a moment he thought she wasn't going to let him go, but she did finally, her entire posture tense. When he straightened, only a pace away from her, she began to relax again.

"Giles, listen to me," she said earnestly and he could only nod, not knowing if he was going to like what he was about to hear or not.

Buffy took a deep breath, then plunged in before she got too scared to keep going. "Giles... Ever since Angel left me, I've been so afraid. Too afraid to risk loving anyone in case my heart gets broken again. I don't think I could survive it a second time. Too afraid to let anyone love me, in case they work out what a big fraud I am."

"I know," Giles said gently and she stared at him.

"Buffy, I know you like..." He shrugged. "Like I've never known anyone before. Even when you shut me out, do you think I could miss that." He gentled his voice. "But you're not a fraud. You're just carrying a lot of scars. Anyone with sense, anyone who really loves you, can help you heal those hurts, not make them deeper."

She looked at him, tears in her eyes. "See, you get it. Riley didn't. He never did. He wanted to be Mr Super Normal Guy and take me with him. I thought that was the answer. If I settled for normal, it would never hurt me the way Angel did. But Becca made me see that I'm not normal. I never will be. So trying for that is dumb."

He was watching her grow up in front of his eyes. Like a seed, growing up through a crack in the ground and sprouting into a tree, growing taller and stronger, until it could touch the sky. The world could have ended around them and neither would have noticed, so caught up in that sudden blossoming.

Buffy smiled at him, hesitant and composed, both at the same time. "And Giles, I'm not afraid any more."

He couldn't help himself. He smiled, knowing his whole heart was in his eyes, but safe in the knowledge she wouldn't see it. She never had before; he didn't see her starting now. "That's good, Buffy."

"So I'm going to act on it." She grinned at him. "But you're going to be shocked."

"You haven't shocked me yet," he assured her. "Do you really think you'll be able to start now?"

"I love you."

For an instant, he couldn't breathe. Then reason overcame misplaced hope. "I know that, Buffy. We couldn't have worked together as we have for the last four years without developing some kind of affection."

She shook her head, looking exasperated. "No, stupid. I'm in love with you."

He forgot how to breathe again. For a lot longer this time. This was like a dream come true, expect that he had never let himself dream anything of the kind because it was too impossible. Buffy might be afraid of having her heart broken; she could break his with just a look. And had already done so many times. Like her, he didn't think it could stand it again.

"Buffy, this is a very quick turnaround." But he knew he couldn't hide the hope in his eyes, and he was no longer so sure Buffy wouldn't understand it for exactly what it was.

"I know this," she said simply. "I know it right down deep in my gut; in my heart and in my soul. But I was too afraid before to listen. I was afraid that if I loved you, you'd leave me. And I couldn't cope if you left me. I don't think I could live. But I'm not afraid any more and I can hear now, I can see it. Giles, I love you."

He was speechless. More speechless that he had ever been in his life, and he'd had his moments before now. All he could do was look at her, all that carefully hidden love and desire written clearly on his face.

And now he knew she could see it, could read him like a book. After all this time, guarding this secret, he found he didn't care that he'd been found out. In that instant he didn't care what happened next; he just wanted to enjoy the feeling of no longer having to hide the biggest part of himself. The part of himself that reflected her.

Buffy hadn't finished. "I want to stay with you forever. I want that daughter of mine to be yours. I want you there to love us and protect us and teach us how to stand on our own feet and be strong."

He had to ask. He didn't know that he wanted to, but he had to all the same. "Buffy, are you sure?"

She nodded. "I've never been surer."

He felt like the world had turned both upside down and inside out. This was so different from what he'd planned. From what he and...

"Becca..." he said softly.

To his surprise, Buffy nodded. "She was the one who made me stop and look and finally see." She smiled. "She really was sent here to make everything right, just like she said she was. Cause this is right. I know it is. You do too, don't you"

"I..." Giles didn't know what to say. "Becca..." he said again.

Buffy looked up at him, her heart in her eyes now, and it was almost enough to stop his own from beating. "Don't you love me?" she whispered.

How else could he answer that but with the absolute truth?

"Oh, Buffy. So much I can't say. I would do anything for you. Follow you anywhere."

"Just stay here and love me? Love us."

"Always," he promised, his voice breaking. "Always."

Her face lit up, for some reason reminding him of an inane song he'd heard on the radio once when she was training. The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

"So kiss me, dummy."

What red-blooded man who had just been told the love of his live was in love with him could resist a challenge like that?

He pulled her back into his arms and she came willingly. Her body moulded to his as if they had been doing this all their lives and he felt a spark of electricity shoot from one to the other and back again as they touched.

He bent his head, she lifted hers and their lips touched. In that instant he knew that he was lost. If he had ever had a chance to escape the spell she cast over him, it was gone now. He was hers. She held his heart and happiness, his very soul in her tiny hands and all he could do was pray that she would never want to let him go.

Buffy slipped her arms around Giles' neck, pulling him closer as if she could draw him into her heart and keep him there forever. The fear was gone, leaving in its place only peace and a sense that she had come home at last. She had found the place she was meant to be and she never, ever wanted to leave.

The kiss, that had started gentle grew stronger, more passionate with each passing second. Buffy could feel Giles' hands, sliding up her back to her shoulder blades, rucking up the fabric of her shirt and sending shivers along her spine. She lifted her hands to his face, feeling his skin against her palms and gave herself up to the kiss, to him.

Angel had been pain, Riley, a vain hope of normality; here there was passion and peace in equal measure. She leaned further into Giles' embrace and let herself fall, knowing at last that she had found the one who would always catch her.

It was a kiss that could have gone on until they grew wrinkles and cobwebs, except for the fact that both participants gradually became aware of whistles and cheers coming from downstairs.

Mortified, Buffy broke away from Giles. Looking down from the landing, she could see they had an audience. Most of the noise was coming from Xander, but when the people below saw her looking there was a round of spontaneous applause.

She buried her head in Giles' chest, never more embarrassed in her entire life. It didn't help when she realised the helpless shaking she could feel against her cheek was Giles laughing. He disentangled her and lifted her face to his with a finger under her chin.

"Take a bow, love. I think we've been set up, so we might as well be gracious about it."

Unable to help herself, Buffy laughed and did as he suggested, making a flamboyant, if technically inaccurate, curtsey. Xander put his fingers in his mouth and wolf-whistled and she had to laugh again.

He waved a fist in the air and called, "Go, G-man."

"Don't call me that," Giles called down automatically, but he was smiling too. Not to be outdone by Buffy, he swept a courtly bow, straightened up again and pulled Buffy against his side. "Shall we go down, my dear."

She looked up at him, a shimmer of tears in her eyes. "I'm going to like being your dear."

He pulled her even closer, kissing her briefly to hide the tears in his own eyes. "For always," he promised huskily.

She smiled, and she was the one who led him down the stairs. At the bottom, she was immediately swept into a hug by Willow and Xander. Giles watched them a second, before remembering Becca.

She was smiling, but there was something wrong about her. It took a moment for him to realise she was fading, turning slowly translucent so that he could see just a hint of the bookcase behind her, showing right through her.

Seeing him watching, she clapped her hands a couple of times and blew him a kiss.

Not knowing what else to do, he bowed again, seriously this time. Thank you, he mouthed silently.

Tara caught the exchange and turned to look at Becca, her eyes going wide as she realised what it meant.

Becca shook her head at Tara's distress. "I don't think I exist any more," she said softly, so that Giles could barely hear her. "In fact, from now on, I don't think I ever did. But it's okay."

Still looking troubled, Tara managed to smile at her. "I think the Slayer's daughter just saved the world."

The last exchange might have been missed by the room at large, but Willow turned at her girlfriend's words.

"Buffy doesn't have a daughter yet," she pointed out. Then she gave her friend a wicked grin. "Although it looks like we know who the father will be now."

Buffy blushed, but refused to rise to the bait.

"And can't you just see Giles changing diapers?" Xander added with an indecent amount of glee.

"You'd better learn too, Uncle Xander," Buffy told him firmly and that shut him up completely.

But it was Anya who had the last word, and it couldn't have been a more typically Anya statement if she'd been trying. "I hope you have lots of orgasms together," she said sincerely. "Almost as many as Xander and me."

While Buffy spluttered and Xander tried to recover enough to explain, yet again, about the difference between public and private conversation, Giles found himself exchanging an amused look with Wesley.

The younger man offered him his hand. "Congratulations, Mr Giles. I guess prophecy has its own way of making sure things work out."

Giles shook his hand, making a mental resolution to give Wesley Wyndham- Pryce another chance. It looked like the young man deserved it. But there was something that was still bothering him, something still missing.

And finally he worked out what it was.

"Becca..."

Buffy turned away from the congratulations of her friends and gave him a funny look. "Love, what are you talking about?"

She was gone, Giles realised. She'd done what she came to do - she'd made her mother happy and he was still astounded that he was the one who could do that. And now, she was gone and he had no idea why he could still remember her.

I won't forget you, he promised a girl who had never existed.

She had been someone remarkable. Some one should remember Rebecca Finn.