Duty, Dragons and Dabo.



Disclaimer: Paramount owns 'em; The Blue Goo, Dr Megalomania and Elvis own the Dragons. We're just seeing what happens when you mix Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and our sick twisted minds.

We'd also like to include various TV series and feature films for inspiration.

Author Note's: We'd also like it noted that we own the various red shirted ensigns and would like to assure the reader that *no ensigns were killed in the writing of this story, horribly maimed or transported to another time and place maybe but killed? No!*

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3 Part 11 : Alright, TWO miniscule errors. . .

. . . Silence befell the universe as the Dragon moved her claws to reveal her hand. A full house. She had a full house. A full house beat a two pair. Q had a two pair but the Dragon had a full house that meant. . .

"I WIN!!" She cried out, "IN YOUR FACE!! I WIN! COS I'M THE BEST! OH YEAH CAN YA FEEL THAT? THAT'S THE BITTER TASTE OF DEFEAT! I AM THE WINNER! YOU ARE THE LOSER!"

The dragon proceeded to prance about the place whilst Q sat shocked. He had been beaten. . . by some giant lizard.

"Dragon. . ." she corrected, "Dra-gon! I don't do that loser part, unlike you, LOSER!!"

She resumed her victory dance.

Meanwhile, the crew found themselves in a suspended state of disbelief, was it true?

Had this mythical creature brought peace to the Alpha Quadrant by merely wining a game?

Many ensigns discovered themselves unable to support their own weight for their legs imitated the Founder in the middle of the bar. Of course, being on the second floor and being mostly extras. . . promptly fell over the rails.

Captain Benjamin Sisko, ignorant of the various thuds behind him, stepped forward, * It was over * was all he could think as he stepped up to the dragon. She grinned with glee and like an idiot, Sisko grinned back. The dragon clicked her claws and a wave of what could only be describe as pure energy flowed from her. It made changes through out the Quadrant.



Lieutenant Hugh Izzat, of the super secret security Starfleet base at Etamin IV, turned a corner. He was looking for two officers who had failed to appear for duty. He muttered as he turned the corner, not fully seeing the two piles of Jell-o. He slipped and skidded like a ice-skater. When he came to a stop, he noticed two commbagdes. He picked them up and read the names. Commander Chintz and Lieutenant Ralph Noodle. He smiled wickedly, he'd always hated those two, the annoying little creeps, always coming down with some sort of obscure chest infection that cause them to constantly cough during important meetings. Ha! Being turned into large pile of green jell-o complete with fruity bits serve 'em right!



Where had they gone?

Well, it didn't matter 'cos he was. . . glad? No. Happy? Nuhah. Ecstatic? Absolutely not! Not so much sad as apathy that they were gone.

He turn his head slightly to look at the Jem'hadar that had previously trying to engage him in party games to get him to be enthusiastic about conquering the galaxy. Something about them was wrong, it could have been the fact that they were now about 12" inches high, complete with karate action and little switches on their backs.

He barely had time to recognise this before he began to shrink himself. He noticed a strange feeling, he felt as if he was full of beans. Literally had anyone been watching this occurrence they would have noticed the commander of the Jem'hadar ship was quickly becoming a Vorta Beanie-baby. His last thought was * I hope the same's happening to Him on DS9! *



Sisko tripped and rolled gracefully over the now beanie-baby overly happy Vorta, previously know as 'Beria'. He didn't admit it, but he was glad that the manic Vorta had been neutralised. He stepped up to the defeated Q. Without some much of a subconscious thought, well, more of a conscious decision. Sisko punched Q.

"You hit me AGAIN! Picard didn't even hit me once!"

Sisko smirked at the annoying being. "Well, here's one from him too!"

TWACK !!!

Q hit the ground hard. "You really outta stop doing that! Do you realise that I can wipe your entire species out of existence in the blink of an eye?"

Everybody looked at him as if he was crazy.

"Well, . . .I can." He whimpered.







Q clicked his fingers and everything returned to relative normality. The Star fleet was transported from their bottle out into to space in time to see the soap bubble disappear from around DS9 with a 'Pop!'. Everything apart from the Jem'hadar, the Founders and the Vorta that is.







Whilst the Congo lines of ensigns and civilians, the 'Flem'hadar' and the Vulcan-can's, the singers and borg sang one last round of 'Hey, Macarena. Ai! Before disappearing. The promenade lost its insanity and the normal hustle and bustle of the station returned, but this left only one small problem. . .

"What are you going to do with the founder?" asked Odo.

The dragon corrected him. "Founder*S* you mean."

"Founders!" he cried "you turned the entire species of founders into Jell-O with fruity bits!"

The dragon nodded her head vigorously. "The Founders, the Vorta, the Jem'hadar. The whole caboodle."

"Well, what are we supposed to do with him?" he indicated to the quivering mass of Jell-O.

Q considered it carefully before saying "Here, take it. Consider it a gift from me to you my rubber faced gimboyed." And was gone before anyone could retort.

A message came through from the bridge. It was the voice of Admiral Ross. "What the FUDGE had been going on! We're getting reports from all over the place concerning strange gelatinous blobs with what appears to be fruity bits in it. AND the Jem'hadar in the POW camps has been turned into action figures with karate chop action. AND the war appears to be over. AND all Cardassians in the fleet have been turned into stuffed toys. So I say again, WHAT THE FUDGE IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sisko took a deep breath, "I'll get back to you on that. . ." and promptly cut the Admiral off in mid tirade.

Everybody looked at the dragon, which shrugged. "Well how else was the war going to end" she quirked up one side of her mouth. "Ok, Ok, I'll turn them back. Geez!! You guys are gluttons for punishment." She clicked her fingers and the pile of Jell-O on the floor disappeared. "And just because I like you, I returned them ALL home. So there!"

Q returned. "I want to know how you did that!"

"Well I just snapped my fingers and they disappeared."

"No, no, no, no, not that! That transdimensional thingy"

"Mmmmmm," she donned a dragon size star fleet uniform. "I can't tell you that, it's against the prime directive!" she said with a chuckle.

He stomped his foot in annoyance and left.

Kira wandered allowed. "How did the founders know that the dragon was here in the first place?"

The dragon replied offhandedly. "Our dear Doctor told them." The doctor looked shocked.

"What, I didn't tell them anything."

"No, no, no, no, you told them by accident, they intercepted your message to Starfleet Med."

"Whooops" the doctor shrugged sheepishly.

Quark having not said very much decided to make himself heard. "Great, the war's over, the station is back to normal. . .WHAT ABOUT MY DABO TABLE!!" Whilst Odo tried to calm the ferengi down, O'Brien and Bashir tried to discreetly leave the room.

"Gentlemen!" Boomed Sisko. "What are you up to?"

The Irish engineer and the Doctor turned and said "We just thought he needed a taste of his own medicine. It 'twas all in good fun!"

"Why you. . ." Cried Quark. Again Odo had to restrain him as they made a run for it.

The dragon turned to the assembled crew. "Well, I hate to love you and leave you but I'm late for my meeting. This was a nice distraction though. See ya around some time. Bu-buy now" With that she was just. . .gone.







The Dragon opened her eyes. . .

. . .And didn't find herself at home. Instead, she found herself in a grey; round room with quite a lot of bipeds similar to those she'd just left. The room was darkened slightly and there were several red lights blinking, 'red alert' like on Deep Space Nine.

On the whatsamacallit, the 'main viewer', there were the menacing features of a Borg drone, which stared at the woman addressing him, with an expression that would have rivalled that crazy depressed Vorta. The woman was wearing a uniform similar to the Deep Space Niners, but instead of grey shoulder, coloured collar, they had coloured shoulder, grey collar. From the sound of her voice, the Dragon guess she was the captain, the woman was short and had auburn hair. She stood with her feet apart and her hands firmly glued to her hips. In a tone that said //I haven't had my morning coffee yet so don't get me angry//, she told the drone, "You assimilated him, you can keep the little beggar!! And we hope he poisons you all with his ruddy leola root stew!!".

With a swift nod of her head, the transmission cut. She turned and stopped dead in her tracks. Glaring at the Dragon, she said "What or who the hell are you?".

The Dragon noticed Mr Tattoohead and gave him a grin. "Hiya again!" she enthused. He just shook his head disbelievingly. The Dragon turned to the woman to answer her question, when a flash of light appeared.

The woman and her crew, including Mr Tattoohead, all slap their heads and murmured "Q!" All except a woman whose clothes looked like she was vacuumed- sealed, she just glared at him coldly.

Q ignored them all, and struck an irritated pose.

"Oh! Great! It's not enough you appear in my universe. . . Oh no!" he said, sarcastically. "No! You have to come bug *my* sweet Kathy, Chuckles and their mongrel crew!"

"I make one . . .ney, TWO miniscule errors, and *you* have to come criticise me!"

"Yes, I do, MY universe, ME allowed to criticise!"

She followed her arms, "Really? Well, hands up everybody whose accomplished transdimensional, intergalactic space travel AND can read minds?"

"Oh! Just get out of MY universe, find your own humans to play with!"

She pouted, "You know what? I think I might just stay right here. it's cosy!"

Captain Kathryn Janeway looked on at these two strange beings, unaware of the trouble that they had caused or the trouble they were about to cause. . .







THE END (?)





DrM: Well? Whatcha think?!

Elvis: why not drop us a review and tell us!

Blue goo: yeh! Please R&R. . . we'd love to hear whatcha got to say about that insanity you just read!

DrM: I don't think it was that weird!

Elvis: trust me, it was. . .