I wake up the next morning to the smell of coffee. The first thing I
remember is the feeling of Josh's arms around me. Then I remember why they
were around me. I will not cry. I will not cry. I've cried to much already.
If I'm going to the funeral I have to be strong. For my sister. For my
family.
I wander out into the kitchen to see josh making pancakes and bacon. I didn't know he could cook. I always imagined him making a mess and catching things on fire whne he tried to cook. THinking of this I giggle. He turns around and looks at me. "Hi," he says, smiling.
"Hi," I say as I sit at the table. He puts a plate of food in front of me. I eat a few bites and look up at him. "I'm sorry, I'm just really not hungry."
"I understand."
"Shouldn't you be at work?"
"I talked to Leo. We both have the week off for the funeral."
"You don't have to come, really."
He sits across from me and takes my hand. "I want to."
I smile at him and he smiles back. "I have our flight booked. We leave tonight."
"you should go home and pack," I say.
"Okay."
WE get up from the table and I walk Josh to the door. "You gonna be okay?" he asks.
I nod. "Yeah, I'll be okay." He hugs me tightly before leaving. I head into the kitchen and pick up the phone to call my sister."Hi, Marci."
"Hi, Donna." she sounds tired, but she isn't crying anymore.
"I just called to tell you that Josh and I are coming."
"Your boss is coming with you?"
"Yeah," I say distractedly as I start to put the food away.
"I don't mind, but, why?"
"He's my friend and he's just trying to help."
"donna, is he really just a friend?"
I nearly drop the plate I'm drying. Even in the worst of times she can think of things like this. "Of, course! Why would you think otherwise?"
"It's just, well, I don't think he'd come all the way to Wisconsin if he was just a friend."
"we are just friends."
"Is that what he wants?"
"Yes!" Is it?
"Is that what you want?"
"Marci..."
"Look, just humor me. Help me get my mind off of things. Is that what you want?"
"He's my boss. We're in the middle of an investigation. Even if I wanted to, even if we both wanted to we couldn't."
"But if you could."
"maybe." What? Did I really just say that? I did. Marci has this amazing tallent to get things out of me that I don't even relise.
"Do you love him?"
"I think so," I say quietly.
"Then the other things shouldn't matter."
"It's not that simple, Marci. What we do could reflect poorly on the president."
"So wait for him. this investigation can't last much long. And when reelection is over you guys have nothing else to lose. You guys could go for it then. It's only like, a year."
"Yeah, I guess."
There is silence while I contemplate what was just said. I just admitted to loving Josh. And I totld Marci. I really shouldn't have told her. She has the biggest mouth.
"Marci," I say after a few minutes, "what happened? I know you probabky don't want to talk about it, but I feel like I need it."
Marci takes a deep breath. "He had a condition called Cardiomyopathia. Well, that's what they think it was anyway. The walls to his heart thickened and enlarged. The wall between the two ventricles obstructed the blood flow."
"how did they not catch it?" I asks as I tear up again.
"He was dizzy. We thought he has the flu," she says as she starts to cry again.
"I'm sorry I asked," I tell her.
"It's okay."
"Okay. Well, Josh and I are leaving tonight. Nobody needs to pick us up, we'll get a cab and go to a hotel."
"Donna, you can stay here."
"No, the last thing you need is Josh in your house. Besides, I think Josh likes hotels better. He might feel awkward at your place."
"Okay, I'll see youlater. I love you."
"I love you, too."
TBC
I wander out into the kitchen to see josh making pancakes and bacon. I didn't know he could cook. I always imagined him making a mess and catching things on fire whne he tried to cook. THinking of this I giggle. He turns around and looks at me. "Hi," he says, smiling.
"Hi," I say as I sit at the table. He puts a plate of food in front of me. I eat a few bites and look up at him. "I'm sorry, I'm just really not hungry."
"I understand."
"Shouldn't you be at work?"
"I talked to Leo. We both have the week off for the funeral."
"You don't have to come, really."
He sits across from me and takes my hand. "I want to."
I smile at him and he smiles back. "I have our flight booked. We leave tonight."
"you should go home and pack," I say.
"Okay."
WE get up from the table and I walk Josh to the door. "You gonna be okay?" he asks.
I nod. "Yeah, I'll be okay." He hugs me tightly before leaving. I head into the kitchen and pick up the phone to call my sister."Hi, Marci."
"Hi, Donna." she sounds tired, but she isn't crying anymore.
"I just called to tell you that Josh and I are coming."
"Your boss is coming with you?"
"Yeah," I say distractedly as I start to put the food away.
"I don't mind, but, why?"
"He's my friend and he's just trying to help."
"donna, is he really just a friend?"
I nearly drop the plate I'm drying. Even in the worst of times she can think of things like this. "Of, course! Why would you think otherwise?"
"It's just, well, I don't think he'd come all the way to Wisconsin if he was just a friend."
"we are just friends."
"Is that what he wants?"
"Yes!" Is it?
"Is that what you want?"
"Marci..."
"Look, just humor me. Help me get my mind off of things. Is that what you want?"
"He's my boss. We're in the middle of an investigation. Even if I wanted to, even if we both wanted to we couldn't."
"But if you could."
"maybe." What? Did I really just say that? I did. Marci has this amazing tallent to get things out of me that I don't even relise.
"Do you love him?"
"I think so," I say quietly.
"Then the other things shouldn't matter."
"It's not that simple, Marci. What we do could reflect poorly on the president."
"So wait for him. this investigation can't last much long. And when reelection is over you guys have nothing else to lose. You guys could go for it then. It's only like, a year."
"Yeah, I guess."
There is silence while I contemplate what was just said. I just admitted to loving Josh. And I totld Marci. I really shouldn't have told her. She has the biggest mouth.
"Marci," I say after a few minutes, "what happened? I know you probabky don't want to talk about it, but I feel like I need it."
Marci takes a deep breath. "He had a condition called Cardiomyopathia. Well, that's what they think it was anyway. The walls to his heart thickened and enlarged. The wall between the two ventricles obstructed the blood flow."
"how did they not catch it?" I asks as I tear up again.
"He was dizzy. We thought he has the flu," she says as she starts to cry again.
"I'm sorry I asked," I tell her.
"It's okay."
"Okay. Well, Josh and I are leaving tonight. Nobody needs to pick us up, we'll get a cab and go to a hotel."
"Donna, you can stay here."
"No, the last thing you need is Josh in your house. Besides, I think Josh likes hotels better. He might feel awkward at your place."
"Okay, I'll see youlater. I love you."
"I love you, too."
TBC
