AN/ Okay, this chapter I like much better. Enjoy, please review, thanks
~Gabe~
Part Two - Silent Voices
But were they really her memories? This was the question she had asked herself at least once a day, everyday, for almost a year.
These thoughts in her head, were they really Celena Schezar? For that matter, who was Celena Schezar? A naive little girl, laughing and playing in the sun? No. She couldn't be. Not anymore. But if not that girl, then who? All she knew of Celena was that girl, that was all she remembered . . .
No, not all. She also remembered the darkness, though she had tried desperately to forget.
---------Flash --------
It was cold.
She could not remember where she was, how she came here, or anything before the dark, except. . . a face, yes she remembered a face. A kind smile, laughing blue eyes, soft golden hair. . . who. . . Argh! She screamed into the pit, her frustration finally getting the best of her. Why couldn't she remember? Everything was so cloudy, so vague. . .the face. . . Pain and despair washed over her and she withdrew deeper, deep into the murky void, where, she thought, the pain and despair could not touch her, could not reach.
Then, the voices had started. Faceless voices in the sea of dark, at first had terrified her, making her retreat deeper into the abyss. Then, slowly, she began to embrace the voices, a comfort in the darkness, a break from the solitude. She had tried to talk to the voices, ask them who, or what, they were, and where she was, but she was ignored. So she began to listen. Shouts, harsh, curt words, and then, the laughter. Not a cheerful, bright laughter or even a bitter, cynical chuckle, but a maniacal, insane cackle that ripped through her mind, and made her shudder in the dark. Soon however, even that didn't matter. At least it was something, something in the gloom.
Then, soon after she had become accustomed to the voices, the visions began. Flickers of faces, people. . . young boys in blue armor, a tall man with pale hair and a sad face, and places, long metal corridors, and large dim rooms. Unlike the voices, which were roughly constant, all of these visions came in random flashes, breaking the darkness for mere moments at a time. But they awakened something in her, a feeling that had become dormant in the loneliness and pain of the dark. Joy.
Soon, she longed for the visions, the voices alone no longer enough to break the stifling gloom. Surprisingly, her silent prayers were answered, and the darkness began to recede, as the visions came more frequently, and lasted for longer each time. Finally the once terrifying darkness had almost completely disappeared, a small corner of the oblivion all that remained.
She saw, through eyes that were not her own, a life of pain, hardness, even death, but anything was better than the dark. She watched and listened, and if the pain or the hardness became too much, she retreated into her small corner of darkness. As time went on however, she had to do this less and less. Even the death, the destruction, ceased to bother her. She began to enjoy the flames.
"Brother would not be pleased," she heard a voice say. It was an unfamiliar voice, feminine, soft, and it seemed to address her. Brother? Who is brother?
"Brother would not be pleased," It said again, "These are not good things." What? Good things? What other things are there? All I have is the fire, the death.
"What about love?" Love? I can't remember. . .
"Hope." Stop. Please. . .
"Compassion" No! Stop! It hurts! Make it stop hurting! So confused. . .
The voices became silent, the visions faded, she was in the darkness once again.
NOOOOOOOOO! She screamed into the dark. She could not handle this again, not after the joy. . .
Why? She asked softly. Why now that I am happy?
"Because," It was the female voice again, "You shouldn't have been happy. What about Brother? What about love?"
I don't know love! She screamed into the dark. I can't remember!
"You must." the voice said. "This is not who you are."
What? She said to herself, just as a vision flooded to dark. A field, warm, sunny. A little girl, long ash blonde hair. Running. A boy, golden hair flowing behind him as he ran after the girl. His face, it was the face. The face in the dark, she had tried to forget it, it brought pain and sadness even after the visions came. Brother. . .
NO! She screamed, and the vision blinked out. I was happy. She thought in the dark. All that face brings is pain! Confusion! I want to go back, back to the voices, the visions. . . the fire. . . Send me back! She screamed into the dark. I don't want to be alone!
"Celena. . ." The female voice began. NO! Send me back!
The laughter from the dark brought her back. She had never been that happy to hear that cackle. The visions, the voices, they had all returned. She settled into her warmth, faces and voices filling her mind. She wasn't alone. The darkness and the blonde boys face was pushed to the back of her mind. They would not bother her again. She was happy.
