I Don't Know You Anymore

By Indigo Butterflyz

December 2001

Disclaimer:  I don't own them.  Song/Band/Lyrics/Characters/Television Programmes…the lot…they all belong to their respective owners.

Spoilers:  Season Four….Larry Season.

Author's Note:  The lyrics come from the song "I Don't Know You Anymore" by Savage Garden.  This can be considered sort of a continuation from the last videofic I wrote, "I Drive Myself Crazy".  Having said that though, this can be read as a standalone, but I would still recommend reading the other fic first.  ^_^ As always, comments and criticisms are most welcome.

    The camera fades in from black to reveal a close up shot of an old-fashioned rotary dial phone.  It is late in the afternoon.  A hand picks up the receiver, but then after a moment puts it down again.

I would like to visit you for a while

    The shot zooms out to show that the hand belongs to Larry.  He distractedly walks around his room, all the while eyeing the telephone as he paces about.

Get away and out of this city

      Again he goes to dial, but hesitates, and ends up replacing the receiver on the handset once more, annoyed with himself as he leaves the room.

Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break

    A moment passes before Larry is seen determinedly walking back into the room and dialing an all too familiar number to him on the phone.

We can go sit on your back porch

    One ring…  As he waits he thinks about the person he is phoning, trying with all his might to convince himself not to hang up and walk away.

Relax

    Two rings…  He takes a breath and slowly exhales, wondering if she is even there.

Talk about anything

    Three rings… A fleeting second of worry crosses his face as he realizes that he has no idea what he is going to say…

It don't matter

    …But what is even more nerve-racking to him is the thought that she has already moved on…

I'll be courageous if you can pretend you've forgiven me

    Larry removes the glasses from his face, his thoughts interrupted, as someone answers on the other side.  "Hello?"

Because I don't know you anymore

    The scene cuts to Ally walking home from work in the late afternoon.  She is taking a route that she has not used for a long time.  Suddenly she recognizes a building that she passes.  Stopping, she thinks momentarily before turning back and entering inside.

I don't recognize this place

    As she walks along the hallway towards the office an eerie sense of wistfulness combined with sadness strikes her.

The picture frames have changed and so has your name

    Slowly pushing open door to enter the reception area, Ally stares in surprise as she instantly notices that the sign "Larry Paul –Attorney At Law" has been replaced with the unfamiliar title of "C.U. Jones– Real Estate Agent."

We don't talk much anymore

    She looks around at the new furniture that has inhabited Larry's old office— crimson coloured carpet, a lime green waiting room sofa, corkboards covering the walls with photographs of houses to buy ...one of the last things she ever thought would become of this place.

We keep running from the pain

    Someone taps Ally on her shoulder, and she smiles as she turns, unconsciously half expecting it to be Larry behind her.

But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

    Her smile quickly disappears when a young receptionist, asking if Ally is Mr. Jones's four o'clock appointment, greets her.

Springtime in the city

    Ally forces a weak smile, as she swiftly excuses herself, muttering something incomprehensible while she makes for the door.

Always such relief from the winter freeze

    Back on the street, an unexpected chill from a gust of wind makes Ally shiver.  Yet no one else on the pavement seems to feel the sudden change of weather.

The snow was more lonely than cold than lonely if you know what I mean

    Her thoughts go back to Larry and suddenly the feeling of icy coldness intensifies, causing Ally to wrap her arms around herself to keep warm as she walks.

Everyone's got an agenda

    What was his reason?  Why did he do all that he did?  She shakes her head in frustration, scolding herself mentally for thinking about him at all.

Don't stop now keep that chin up you'll be alright

    She tries to lift her head up high while walking, desperately attempting to shrug off all memories of him that, which up to now, she believed to have been all but forgotten.  But…

Can you believe what a year it has been?

    …while she replays the events of last year in her mind, a somber realization is recognized.  Despite every single new challenge and experience that has presented itself since he left, her heart has not recovered from her evocative (albeit brief) time with him.

Are you still the same?

    As she unlocks the door to her empty apartment, she can't help but wonder what he is doing at this very moment.

Has your opinioned changed?

    "I'm only at the beginning of loving you."  Slumping down on the couch, she questions how true his words really were.

Because I don't know you anymore

    Bringing her knees up to her chest, she slowly rocks from side to side, looking around her apartment at the emptiness reflecting that what she feels in her heart.

I don't recognize this place

    She stares at the shelf across from her, looking at the all the photographs that are neatly positioned on the ledge.  All were taken what feels so very long ago…

The picture frames have changed and so has your name

    Looking at the at all faces causes Ally to bite her lip in desperation to hold back the tears.  So many of them in the photographs… Billy … Larry … so many of them have now left her … Renee … John …And now she is all alone…

We don't talk much anymore

    … Larry … Larry left her with a note.  'A note of ALL things!' she mentally cries out in frustration.

We keep running from the pain

    Closing her eyes and deeply inhaling, then exhaling leads to her feelings of anger and abandonment to gently subside. 

But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

    The telephone rings and Ally's eyes snap open.  Her thoughts, unconsciously as always, turn to hopes of Larry as she picks up the phone.

I know I let you down

    "Hi, Ally?"  Larry speaks slowly, trying to shrug off his nervousness.  For a moment there is no response.

Again and again

      "Ally?"  He repeats again, beginning to feel doubtful if he has dialed the right number.

I know I never really treated you right

    Bringing his ear closer to the receiver, he tries to listen more carefully for any sounds coming from the end of the other line.

I've paid the price

    He hears a small gasp for breath, followed by a female voice stuttering, "Lar — Lar … I… I… uh… huh… I…" 

I'm still paying for it every day

    It is Ally he is talking to.  A frown of disappointment forms upon his face, noticing that her reaction indicates that she is not only shocked as expected, but also sounding very upset to hear from him.

So maybe I shouldn't have called

    His skin feels rough and stubbly under his fingers as he rubs his chin.  Harshly, he scolds himself under his breath for his actions, both past and present.

Was it too soon to tell?

    'Did you really think she would *actually* be happy to hear from you, Larry,' his conscience scorns, 'after all you did to her?"

Oh what the hell

    Shaking his head in irritation at himself he lets out a gruff grunt.

It doesn't really matter

    "Look, I'm sorry…" he begins, his fingers fiddling with the telephone chord. 

How do you redefine something that never really had a name?

    All his pent-up emotions are on the brink of being set loose.  He wants so much to apologize… to tell her he that he still loves her… and for things to be the way they once were…the way they should still be...

Has your opinion changed?

    Yet, instead he chooses to suppress his impulses.  Downcast, he solemnly apologizes, "I'm sorry.  I guess I have the wrong number."

Because I don't know you anymore

    Quickly putting down the phone, he doesn't hear Ally calling out for him not to go. 

I don't recognize this place

    He pauses for a moment, contemplating and lost in thought, staring at his feet.

The picture frames have changed and so has your name

    Resolutely, he runs for the door, grabbing his coat off the on the way out.  The door slams shut behind him.

We don't talk much anymore

    Back in Boston, Ally tries to recover from the shock of hearing the voice on the other end of the receiver.

We keep running from the pain

    Desperately, she struggles to say something, but all that she seems to be able to is gasp.  "Lar…Lar…"  She can't even bring herself to say his name.  "I…I…uh…huh…I…"

But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

    A look of alarm fills her face, as she hears him mutter an apology for dialing the wrong number.  "Larry--don't go!"  She finally manages to shout out…but her words fall on deaf ears...

I see your face

    Upon hearing the line go dead, Ally's eyes well with tears.  "Larry?"  She cries out, still holding the phone receiver in her hand.  "Larry?  Larry?!"

I see your face

      Her head droops in disappointment and disbelief, tears streaming down her face.  "Larry…" she whispers just before the screen goes black.