Better Man
Disclaimer: I dont anything, Jeff Hardy owns himself, Vance McMahon owns WWF, Robbie Williams owns the song.
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**Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time **
Jeff Hardy tried his best to concentrate on the road as the song rang out in his car. He was driving home to Cameron, home to his family and friends, home to his girlfriend. The girlfriend he didn't deserve. He hadn't spoken to Brooke since Thursday night, the night of the fight.
She had called Jeff to ask how he was and just talk to the man she loved. Jeff's response to her phone call was definitely not what she expected. Jeff almost slapped himself around the head after he had hung up from Brooke. Well more like she had hung up on him. He deserved it though. He was tired and cranky, not getting any sleep, uncomfortable in a bed without Brooke neside him, keeping him warm. So instead of telling her that he would call her later, he had snapped her head off, telling her that she didn't understand what life was like for him. Brooke said nothing as Jeff continued his tirade, only when he stopped talking did she ask if he was finished. Brooke then told Jeff she did know what life was like for him, because his life was her life, or so she thought. She then hung up on him, leaving Jeff to feel like a complete idiot.
**As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain **
Jeff resisted the urge to yell at the radio, or at least change the station. But something was holding him back. Could it be that the song was saying everything that he wanted to tell Brooke. He was trying his best to be a better man. He really was. She was right. She always was. She did know what his life was like because he shared everything with Brooke, they lived the one life. Without Brooke, there was a lot less of Jeff for people to know. She was the one who waited every week for him to come home. She was the one who did his washing, eased his tired muscles, cooked his favourite meals, and most of all, Brooke was the one who taught Jeff how to live! Without Brooke, Jeff Hardy would not be the man he is today.
And how does he repay her? By yelling at her on the phone! Yeah, real good way to show your girl your appreciation Jeff, he silently scolded himslef.
He knew she would forgive him, it was her nature. But what worried Jeff was that one day she would turn around and walk out of his life forever if he didn't start to show his love in a better way.
**As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around
I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around **
He didn't mean to take out his frustrations on Brooke. He loved her with all his heart, he just tended to have a short temper fuse when he was tired.
Who was he kidding? Nothing could excuse his behaviour towards the woman he loved, and he just hoped that by the time he got home, Brooke would still be there, waiting with arms wide open.
**Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time **
Jeff turned into the driveway of the house he shared with Brooke. The light in the living room was still on, despite it being 2 in the morning. This assured him that Brooke was indeed home, and that she hadn't walked out on him. That was one event he would never be able to handle. If Brooke left him, so would a large piece of himself. Not only would his heart shatter, but so would the life he had come to love.
He walked into the house silently, looking around for any sign of Brooke. He found her asleep on the sofa, the t.v still blaring. He switched it off, sitting beside Brooke ont he sofa in the process. She looked so peaceful, so peaceful that Jeff didn't want to wake her. A piece of auburn hair had fallen onto her face, draping across her cheek. He tucked it back behind her ear, placing a kiss on her cheek as he bent down.
Brooke stirred in her sleep, slowly opening her eyes to find Jeff sitting beside her. She sat up a bit, letting Jeff sit behind her, laying her head down on his lap.
"Your back." Brooke stated, trying to sound calm or angry, her voice betraying her. It quivered with emotion, waiting to be set free.
"Im Back" Jeff replied, stroking her silky hair with his hand, wrapping the curly spirals around his fingers.
"Look Jeff, about the other night, im sorry, I shoulndn't..." Jeff cut her off by placing his lips over Brookes. Her words sent a tremble through Jeffs body. She arched her body up off the couch, moving around so she was sitting on his lap.
Jeff reluctantly pulled away, ready to apologise to his love.
"Don't be sorry, you didnt do anything. Im the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you, I had no reason to. Im sorry, not only for this, but for all the crap I've put you through in the past few years. I know im not home often, and when I am home you are so good to me, you are even when im on the road. You shouldn't have to put up with my shit, and for that i'm sorry. I dont know what i'd do if I lost you, and I know im pushing you away, acting like this. Please forgive me, and know im trying to be a better man.
"You are th perfect man. And your my man! Nothing could push me away from you, you got it?" When Jeff nodded, Brooke continued, an evil smile spreading across her face.
"Besides, if I left, there goes some of the best sex you've ver had in your life boy!!"
"Oh really?" Jeff asked, now smiling too.
When Brooke nodded, he picked her, heading for their bedroom.
"Well, since im trying to be a better man, why dont I show you just how good I can be?" Jeff said, bending down to kiss Brooke passionately.
It was good to be home. Home to Jeff was a place where he could be himself, not having to prove himself to anybody. Home was where he could start his journey to being a better man.
**As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man **
