You Belong To Me

Learn To Fly

Two - Yesterday's Ghost

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I could lose my heart tonight

If you don't turn and walk away

'Cause the way I feel I might

Lose control and let you stay

'Cause I could take you in my arms

And never let go

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They often took turns in the kitchen. Today was Matt's morning, and Mimi sang to him with her sweet contralto voice. Matt was cooking omelets, which was a treat, considering how they had been living on a day-to-day basis. Not much time for materialistic things, but enough to have decent enough living conditions. The apartment itself was small. They bought it because it was in their price range, but that was probably the only reason they bought it.

It had been grey. Grey colored walls and floors, a tiny living room, mediocre kitchen and one bedroom. Out of all of these, the bedroom was probably in the best shape. Matt and Mimi were both determined to make it work. They painted the apartment first, the living room ended up a dark grey-ish blue but looked much better than originally, the bedroom was painted white, and the kitchen a slightly golden aura. They kept the couch but in the places where it was threadbare they threw throw pillows and to grace the mantelpiece some figurines. They did get a new bed, however, and polished up the old table, which sat in the small dining area.

Mimi knew that given her own personality, she should have been majorly depressed, but she found the situation doable and comfortable. They didn't need a fancy house, fancy jobs. Their clothes weren't as good but she managed to fix them up nicely, so she helped work as a seamstress at a boutique. Yamato got a job in the diner that was across the street from their apartment.

"And to think, we both lived for higher standards." Mimi had joked once. But that was at one of their lowest times. Matt had smiled at her then, saying that she certainly had changed a lot.

"Only because of you." She replied. And now here they were; Matt finished cooking and Mimi took her plate and sat back down. He smirked. "I have the afternoon shift today, think you can manage a late dinner?"

"I think I could manage. Or we can always go across the street and eat out." She replied smirking back, and they both laughed and started eating. Matt couldn't stop himself from watching her. 'It's hard to believe we've been through so much. Everything is just now and the past is gone, sometimes I forget it even happened.' Yet it was real; he was in his favorite jeans that had gotten worn, and a faded T-shirt. She was dressed similarly, one of his old shirts and black leggings. Her hair pulled back into a ponytail except the ones that escaped from the band. No makeup and a silver locket on a chain enhanced her neck. Yet she was still Mimi, and no matter how her outer appearance would seem he would always find her beautiful.

They weren't married, but Mimi called herself Ishida because 'before I found you I was without an identity.' On days like this, when everything was going right, he didn't want to spoil anything. But there was a question that had been on his mind for some time, as much as the wedding question and the baby question. There was simply no way they could have a baby now, in the state of living that they were in. or maybe it would make everything better. It would be better.

"Mimi, what do you think about going back to Japan?" he asked. The reason he asked was because his brother had been on his mind for some time, and they never called anyone to tell them how they were or where they were. Parents. Relatives. Old friends, if they could still be called that, if they even existed.

"Japan?" her voice was surprised. "That's something I haven't really thought about. Why, Matt? What's there for us in Japan than there isn't for us here? We've managed to start over. Are you not happy?"

"Calm down Meems, it was just a question," And they both burst out laughing. He expected her reaction to be as much. "No, I'm serious. Even just for a small visit. To see how my brother is holding up and all. I really felt so, so sad for leaving him and not giving him any word. What kind of brother am I, to find my own life while his remained shattered? I don't even know if I remember the phone number. And yes, I am very happy."

"Well, if it would make you happier…" her words trailed off thoughtfully. Had it been that long? When she last saw Takeru, he had just taken a bullet meant for her. How selfish had she been, not to even wonder or inquire about him? "Matt…I'm such a horrible, horrible person."

"No, you're not. And we're both at fault, for not letting him know."

She seemed to consider this. "Do you have vacation time saved up?"

"Two weeks. That should be enough. What about you?" they both were finished, so he took the plates and dumped them into the sink. Mimi got up.

"No, let me. I think I have about the same. When should we leave?" Matt stepped back, and she turned the water on and began rinsing the dishes.

"How about Friday night?"

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She was alone. Sora opened one eye and peered at her surroundings. Yep, definitely alone. Joe much have had another one of those unavoidable shifts… it was semi-dark now, as the shadows rose and the clouds were swept away by the wind.

That wasn't too peculiar. These storms had become more frequent in coming. She pushed the hair out of her face and sighed, sitting up and placing her feet on the floor. Might as well get up and make some coffee.

She rubbed her eyes to look at the clock. It was four thirty AM. She flinched. Well, early to bed, early to rise. She yawned, stretched and strolled around the room, pulling on a flimsy cotton robe. She was a doctor's wife. She should be treating herself better. Maybe get a manicure or a pedicure or something, she thought, staring at her fingernails, or maybe a masseuse.

A breath of air escaped her lips. A hot bath, or a cup of coffee? It was still early. So early. She yawned, and stretched again. Something felt oddly strange, and different. She left her room, and peeked into the one next door, occupied by little Kojiro. He was still asleep, soundly, his nightlight glowing ever so faintly only because she was worried about too much darkness, thought he liked to convince her otherwise.

She pushed her hand softly through his small mass of hair and made a quick note to get his hair cut as soon as possible. Her hand nearly shook. He was almost the exact image of his father as he slept, except for the redness, which most certainly came from her side of the gene pool. 'Oh Tai, you would be so proud of your son, your perfection. Maybe if you hadn't rejected me we could all be together now.' A sigh escaped her lips once again. "No, no, I swore yesterday that I was going to love Jyou. Even if it kills me, I will love Jyou."

Or maybe she was just in the denial again. The denial, the denial. And the fact that Joe could never become a father, but he never knew… She almost went to have this child aborted because of Tai's rejection and death. His death…his death… something about the way he held her in his glance before his eyes closed and they left him. She shivered, letting the memory of that night overtake her. Such cruelty was in his heart. She hadn't even understood it…and then she let Matt and Mimi escape because she couldn't go through with completing Tai's mission. His mission was her mission; but she failed him once again.

And Kari, now dead, too by her hand, if only accidentally. Kari wanted to run into the street. Kari planned her death this way. It was only by chance that Sora happened to be the poor fool who ran her down… she stepped away from her sleeping son and fled out of the door, closing it again before running back to her room. Death was all around her and there was no escaping.

Joe's voice on the answering machine: "I'm sorry honey that I had to leave…there was an emergency. If you need me, you know where I am… I just hate leaving you like this."

Like this. The words echo, and a small smile found it's way to her lips. 'Oh honey, you just don't know how bad it is. Maybe I'm stupid for thinking it's all over.' She turned her head to look at the open window.

Two eyes stared back at her, before slowly disappearing and retreating into the stillness of the oncoming morning. The breeze sent a cold chill to her body as she ran to it, looked out, then closed it abruptly. 'Oh god, could it be?'

But it was gone now. He was gone now. She was just hallucinating again. Or so she told herself, for, how could it be true?

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He awoke to the sun glancing across his face. Yesterdays storm seemed to drift away at last, and today he was free and safe from the guilt. It all felt different somehow; as if he were awakening from some endless dream that he was forced to relieve day after day, only now it was gone and forgotten. He wondered if it was how his brother had felt, when he rediscovered himself. Yet the sun did not bring comfort, it brought pain, he was forced to close his eyes due to the pain striking him in the forehead…A headache, of all things, on his day of independence. Where was he, anyway?

Carefully he opened one eye and glanced around, not recognizing his surroundings. It was a room, but the quality hinted at otherwise, like a motel, maybe. That was it, a motel. Yesterday's events were still puzzling to him, as he racked his mind to try and figure out what had brought him there… he opened his other eye and realized that he was not alone, and laying on his chest he saw first her hair, lavender and in complete disarray.

Then he realized that they weren't even on the bed, but were rather more awkwardly on the floor, not an inch of clothing on their bodies, half covered by a sheet that was painstakingly moist. He blinked again, the pain beginning to subside. He looked at her hair, and then her face, peaceful in tranquility as she lay in a moment of undisturbed slumber. Her name escaped him at first, but he knew who she was; she was Miyako, and he had held her.

The odor of alcohol undoubtedly hung over them in the air, a cloud of the past. They had met again at the graveyard, vowing to bury the past. And then they went off and did something spontaneous.

"It's time that we did something about our burdens. Something spontaneous."

"Let's go get blind, stinking, drunk."

Dinner had been in that self-same restaurant that he had taken Kari to about two and a half years prior, that self-same day when Daisuke became intertwined within their problems, only he was too blind to see it. And Miyako had to go home alone that day, in the rain, untouchable.

"Yolei… I'm so sorry." He whispered, wondering how he was going to get out of this situation if she woke up. What would he say? What if she remembered more, or he didn't? How could they have done something like this…? And even as his thoughts overtook him she had already begun to stir. Her exposed skin shriveled at his touch as they both lay there, blinking in the light. She moved first, lifting her head abruptly and looking into his face. "Oh my god…" the words dropped from her lips, shock evident in her eyes. "Did we…?"

Of course it was a stupid question to ask, she scolded herself, feeling awkward and stupid. The nights events had been such a blur, that even though they thought they left the past behind them it really went with them, and in reawakening their grief they were two souls clinging to each other to rediscover what was lost. She felt the blood rise in her face and she could barely meet his eyes, but she noticed that his cheeks were the same crimson in his embarrassment. "This is my fault…I am so sorry." They both began apologizing, stupidly and awkwardly, before just laughing at their predicament, then it grew silent again.

"We must have gotten plastered," She remarked. They were both up now; Miyako had wrapped the sheet around her and began gathering her clothes. "You can have the shower first." She remarked softly, her cheeks still rose tinted. 'God he is handsome,' she thought. They were so drunk; that they overlooked everything that they just discovered. 'He's probably so embarrassed by me he never wants to speak to me again!' Miyako sighed, and she heard him turn on the water and let it run. Wash away this night along with the others, it never happened.

And already he was out of the shower, with a damp sky blue towel clinging to his midsection. The silence was awkward between them. "I'm…done." He said, and she nodded, words failing her, unable to resist looking at him, but then deliberately looking away, red creeping across her face. They passed each other as he headed for the room and she the other, dropping the sheet as she stepped in and closed the door. "I'll go find out where we are," she heard him call out.

"Okay," She replied. The water was cool and refreshing, but she knew that she could not wash away that night and her thoughts…her thoughts which would now have to be buried and let burn and torment her secretly inside. She would remember what happened, and then remember to enjoy it, because it wasn't probable that she could ever have Takeru again, and perhaps she was just plain lucky now.

She didn't want to think that she was desirable. They were drunk, so obviously it had to take a few drinks in order to get men to notice her. Well, get them drunk at least, she thought, trying to lather up the cheap motel soap as best as she could. 'The soap… his hands touched this soap…' and it slipped out of her hands. At this point, she didn't know what to feel or how to face him again after she got out of the shower. Maybe she should just stay here, letting the water, which now made her aware of just how old the systems, were. She shuddered. Best to leave, and forget it ever happened.

Miyako wrapped the other towel around her body as best as she could after drying herself off, and carefully opened the door. The room was empty. Sighing with relief she stepped out and ran straight for her clothing. Her lavender hair hung limply about her shoulders; there was a blow dryer near the mirror. 'Perfect,' she thought.

Twenty minutes later she was almost completely dressed. As she was buttoning her orange colored blouse Takeru reentered, but he hung back for a few minutes and she didn't hear him, until he cleared his throat to make his presence known.

"Why T.K.," Miyako laughed, watching the red creep into his face. "Were you watching me?"

"And if I was?" he replied, laughing. "Your back was turned. I didn't see anything."

"No matter. You've already seen enough," and her words trailed off as the silence hung between them.

"Yolei…" Takeru began, and he looked down. "About last night…I want to apologize."

"If anything, I should be the one who's apologizing. Just because we're twenty-two doesn't make it okay for us to go on a drinking binge like we did. It's unhealthy and it was my idea, anyway. We were both feeling pretty low and now we're torturing ourselves because we don't know how to say what we're thinking."

Takeru laughed. "Well, you were always good at that. Kari would always keep secrets from me, but you're pretty open." At these words he stopped, noticing her cringe slightly at the mention of Kari - 'idiot' his mind screamed. "I mean… see, here I go, sticking in the other foot. You're good with expressing yourself. I'm not. So tell me what exactly is on your mind because there is something you want to say."

And yet, tempted even with the sincerity in his blue eyes once again she found words failed her, as this was a rare chance for this to happen. There was so much to say to him and yet there wasn't. How could she say anything without sounding stupid? She pressed her lips together, to be certain that none of her thoughts would slip out accidentally. He sighed.

"Yolei…I'm sorry to put you on the spot. I normally don't say what's on my time because I'm afraid of how anyone would react. You're probably wishing you were as far away from here as possible and that you never want to see my face again. I understand if that's the case. But either way let me know. I don't know whether to open my heart up entirely, or if this is another illusion, or if by some stroke of fate our paths were crossed. But you must know something. Say something. Anything! Tell me to go to hell, anything!" and he was pleading now, and she still was silent, and finally she could stand it no longer, and ran from the room, tears streaming down her cheeks as she went, leaving him standing there.

'You… you idiot! You did it this time, you really did it!' he chastised himself, staring out the door, wanting to run but finding that he couldn't. 'I don't want to hurt you Yolei, but I sense that I have. And it's because maybe I'm not ready enough. I can't escape from Kari, even though she's gone. She won't let me go, no matter how much I think otherwise. She always holds me down. "Kari, WHY?!" he shouted in his exasperation. "Why is it so hard for me to get away from you, and love freely, when I put you to rest forever last night?"

And for a moment, he thought that he heard her laugh.

But it was only a moment, and in the instant it vanished, making him wonder if now his ears were playing tricks on him. He looked once more to the open door and ran towards it.

'I'm… I'm coming, Yolei. We can sort this thing out.'

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