*I had this idea for a Christmas fic today, and I just had to write it.
Hope you enjoy.*
"You were a rose among my thorns
You were the calm in the eye of every storm
Now your gone, I have no more tears to cry
We never had a chance to say goodbye.
Oh bless a brand new angel
Heaven isn't all that far
And though time came to take you
You're still living in my heart
With a love that's never changing
Please bless a brand new angel"
~Vinnie Mardonis: God Bless a Brand New Angel
Elizabeth sat on the bench slowly, staring out at the water; her eyes hard and filled with undeniable pain, her hands tracing the emblazoned gold design on the front of a jewelry box.
Christmas was tomorrow; not that she really gave a damn. Did it matter now? Did anything matter now?
Flashback: Two Weeks Ago
Elizabeth raced through the hallways of GH as fast as her legs would carry her. This wasn't happening, it was all a bad dream, right? She turned the corner and saw Zander, Nikolas, and Emily. Luke and Laura stood off to one side, talking quietly to Bobbie. Laura turned as she heard Elizabeth's footsteps.
The eyes said it all. He was gone. Lucky was dead.
Elizabeth felt the floor slip from under her and she was falling, crashing to the cool, unyielding tiles. Nikolas caught her as she fell; her weight and momentum forced him to his knees. He held her and rocked her as Emily crouched down, hugging them both.
"What happened?" Elizabeth cried helplessly. She turned her face up to see Nikolas.
Tears were sliding unchecked down his dark cheeks. "He was on his way home from a photo shoot with Gia and the car skidded, hit an ice patch. He hit a tree on his side."
Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to imagine Lucky bleeding and trapped inside the wreck.
"He died instantly," Emily said softly, her voice quivering. "No pain. Gia's in surgery, they think she's going to make it."
Like Elizabeth cared.
Suddenly Laura's face came into view. Her makeup was trashed; mascara and eyeliner made brown tracks down her pale cheeks. She held Elizabeth for a moment, and pulled her up to a standing position.
Laura sniffed and pulled away, pressing a jewelry box into Elizabeth's cold fingers. "They found this in the car. Bobbie said I should give it to you. Lucky got it for you. He was probably going to give it to you for Christmas."
Elizabeth nodded, staring at the small black object.
End Flashback
That was the box she held now. She hadn't opened it up yet. She just couldn't bring herself to open it.
She felt him before she heard him. Damn, he needed a bell he was so quiet.
"How did you find me?" she asked.
"I don't know. I just felt like I needed to come home," he replied softly, sitting beside her on the bench. "How are you?"
"Lucky's dead," Elizabeth said bluntly. Her words frigid with ice and hate.
"What? How? When?" Jason asked.
"Two weeks ago," Elizabeth replied. "He was on his way home from a shoot with Gia. Their car hit a patch of ice..."
Jason was stunned, to say the least. "Are you all right?"
"God, it hurts so much, Jason," Elizabeth whispered. "I've lost him twice now. Twice. But he's not coming back this time, is he?"
Jason shook his head. "I don't think so," he said quietly.
She spoke as if in a trance. Her words were hollow and empty, like her eyes. "I saw his body this time. I watched as they put him in the ground and sealed him in there."
Jason remained silent. He'd seen her in pain before, but not like this. It was like she had nothing left. She was drained and just didn't care anymore. It made his chest hurt to see her in such despair.
She turned to face him with haunted eyes. "Why? Why did God take him away again?"
"I don't know," Jason admitted. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Is there anything I can do?"
Elizabeth looked away. "Why do people always ask that? There's nothing anyone can do; not unless they can bring Lucky back." She looked ready to cry. "Maybe it's me. Maybe I.Maybe."
"What?" Jason asked.
She stared him in the eyes until her tears spilled over. "Maybe I'm not meant to be loved."
Jason blinked and wordlessly pulled her to him, letting her cry against him. He gripped her tighter as shudders began to race through her. He kept one on her at all times as he removed his leather jacket and wrapped it around her.
When she pulled back, she was drowning in the coat. Her eyes looked pitifully up at him.
"You are meant to be loved," Jason said forcefully. "You deserve love probably more than anyone else I know. You just keep getting dealt a bad hand."
"Why is it when I lose someone they always go away?" Elizabeth murmured. It seemed as if she was talking to the water. "I've lost Lucky twice, and then there was."
"What?" Jason asked, turning her face gently with his thumb and index finger to face him. "There was what?"
Elizabeth's eyes filled with pain. "You."
Jason blinked. "Me?"
"You," Elizabeth said softly. She stood up and went to the edge of the dock, wrapping her arms around herself. "Before Lucky came back, even after, when you stayed with me in the studio. I never knew how I felt until the day after you left. Then it hit like a tidal wave. And I'd drown myself in work, painting, Lucky.everything to get you off my mind." A tremor ripped through her and she realized she was babbling. She drew in a long breath, but didn't dare turn around. "It's my fault he died."
"Why is it your fault?" Jason asked.
"Because I lied," she said through clenched teeth. "Because I wasn't in love with Lucky, but I let him think I was. This is fate slapping me in the face."
Jason got up and went to stand beside her. "I don't think so."
Elizabeth turned, her eyes filled with regret. "I should have gone with you."
Jason froze. He'd wanted to hear those words for nearly a year, but not like this. Not under these terms. Sure, he wasn't Lucky's biggest fan, but the kid meant something to Emily and Elizabeth and that was enough for him.
"If I had gone with you, if I had followed my heart, this never would have happened!" Elizabeth exploded. Pent up frustration and anger spilled over like molten lava. "Lucky was buying my Christmas present that night! One his way home from the shoot, he and Gia stopped by the jewelry store to pick it up. If he hadn't, he never would have been in that accident! Don't you see, Jason? If I'd left with you, this never would have happened!" She clenched the black box tightly in her small fist and shook it at him. "If he wasn't buying me this damn gift, none of this would have happened!"
Jason grabbed her and pulled her to him again, trying to soothe her hysterics. "You couldn't have known, Elizabeth. There's no way you could have known," he said gently.
Elizabeth cried harder against him. "Why didn't I just come with you?" she asked through her tears.
"Because you were needed here," Jason replied gently, holding her away by the shoulders.
Her hair flopped over her eyes and she glanced up at him.
"I didn't need you the way Lucky did, and you knew that," Jason pressed. His eyes searched hers frantically. "This is in no way your fault. You're not God; you couldn't have stopped this if you tried."
Elizabeth waited, letting the words sink in. "But I let Lucky think I was in love with him."
"Elizabeth," Jason groaned. "Then he was the happiest man alive."
"What?"
Jason placed his gloved hands on her cheeks and wiped away the tears softly. "I know you; I know you loved him. Even when you claim you didn't, something in you still loved him. To be loved by you is." He trailed off weakly, looking away, afraid he was adding on emotions she didn't need to deal with now.
"Finish," Elizabeth requested.
Jason turned and looked her in the eyes. "Amazing."
"But you.I.I never said I loved you," Elizabeth said.
"You didn't have to," Jason said quietly. "I wouldn't have asked you to come with me if I didn't think you weren't in love with me."
"You knew." The realization came at her full force. He knew. He knew. And yet here he was, his heart on his sleeve again. Elizabeth swallowed and simply stared at him. Then a thought struck her. She had to know. "Do you love me?"
Jason closed his eyes and when they opened, her steely eyes were still probing him. "Do you even have to ask?" he replied softly.
Elizabeth threw her arms around him, closing her eyes tightly. His arms wrapped securely around her tiny waist, pressing her against him in the cold. She opened her eyes to see snowflakes falling softly around them.
"It's cold," Jason said.
"And I have you're coat," she answered.
"So let's go inside," he offered. "The studio's just a block away, right?"
She nodded.
"Let's take my motorcycle over," he said. "We can talk more there."
She nodded but didn't take the hand he offered. "I'll be right behind you."
Jason nodded and left her alone.
Elizabeth turned the box over in her hands again. Slowly, she opened it and first removed a slip of paper there.
Dear Elizabeth,
Merry Christmas. Here's something to protect you when I can't be there.
Love Always,
Lucky
Against black velvet lay a golden angel on a gold chain. She removed it from the box, putting the now empty box in her pocket. She fastened it around her neck and fingered it lovingly. She turned her eyes towards they sky full of fluffy white flakes. "Thanks, Lucky. Thanks for bringing him back to me. I love you."
The End
"You were a rose among my thorns
You were the calm in the eye of every storm
Now your gone, I have no more tears to cry
We never had a chance to say goodbye.
Oh bless a brand new angel
Heaven isn't all that far
And though time came to take you
You're still living in my heart
With a love that's never changing
Please bless a brand new angel"
~Vinnie Mardonis: God Bless a Brand New Angel
Elizabeth sat on the bench slowly, staring out at the water; her eyes hard and filled with undeniable pain, her hands tracing the emblazoned gold design on the front of a jewelry box.
Christmas was tomorrow; not that she really gave a damn. Did it matter now? Did anything matter now?
Flashback: Two Weeks Ago
Elizabeth raced through the hallways of GH as fast as her legs would carry her. This wasn't happening, it was all a bad dream, right? She turned the corner and saw Zander, Nikolas, and Emily. Luke and Laura stood off to one side, talking quietly to Bobbie. Laura turned as she heard Elizabeth's footsteps.
The eyes said it all. He was gone. Lucky was dead.
Elizabeth felt the floor slip from under her and she was falling, crashing to the cool, unyielding tiles. Nikolas caught her as she fell; her weight and momentum forced him to his knees. He held her and rocked her as Emily crouched down, hugging them both.
"What happened?" Elizabeth cried helplessly. She turned her face up to see Nikolas.
Tears were sliding unchecked down his dark cheeks. "He was on his way home from a photo shoot with Gia and the car skidded, hit an ice patch. He hit a tree on his side."
Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to imagine Lucky bleeding and trapped inside the wreck.
"He died instantly," Emily said softly, her voice quivering. "No pain. Gia's in surgery, they think she's going to make it."
Like Elizabeth cared.
Suddenly Laura's face came into view. Her makeup was trashed; mascara and eyeliner made brown tracks down her pale cheeks. She held Elizabeth for a moment, and pulled her up to a standing position.
Laura sniffed and pulled away, pressing a jewelry box into Elizabeth's cold fingers. "They found this in the car. Bobbie said I should give it to you. Lucky got it for you. He was probably going to give it to you for Christmas."
Elizabeth nodded, staring at the small black object.
End Flashback
That was the box she held now. She hadn't opened it up yet. She just couldn't bring herself to open it.
She felt him before she heard him. Damn, he needed a bell he was so quiet.
"How did you find me?" she asked.
"I don't know. I just felt like I needed to come home," he replied softly, sitting beside her on the bench. "How are you?"
"Lucky's dead," Elizabeth said bluntly. Her words frigid with ice and hate.
"What? How? When?" Jason asked.
"Two weeks ago," Elizabeth replied. "He was on his way home from a shoot with Gia. Their car hit a patch of ice..."
Jason was stunned, to say the least. "Are you all right?"
"God, it hurts so much, Jason," Elizabeth whispered. "I've lost him twice now. Twice. But he's not coming back this time, is he?"
Jason shook his head. "I don't think so," he said quietly.
She spoke as if in a trance. Her words were hollow and empty, like her eyes. "I saw his body this time. I watched as they put him in the ground and sealed him in there."
Jason remained silent. He'd seen her in pain before, but not like this. It was like she had nothing left. She was drained and just didn't care anymore. It made his chest hurt to see her in such despair.
She turned to face him with haunted eyes. "Why? Why did God take him away again?"
"I don't know," Jason admitted. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Is there anything I can do?"
Elizabeth looked away. "Why do people always ask that? There's nothing anyone can do; not unless they can bring Lucky back." She looked ready to cry. "Maybe it's me. Maybe I.Maybe."
"What?" Jason asked.
She stared him in the eyes until her tears spilled over. "Maybe I'm not meant to be loved."
Jason blinked and wordlessly pulled her to him, letting her cry against him. He gripped her tighter as shudders began to race through her. He kept one on her at all times as he removed his leather jacket and wrapped it around her.
When she pulled back, she was drowning in the coat. Her eyes looked pitifully up at him.
"You are meant to be loved," Jason said forcefully. "You deserve love probably more than anyone else I know. You just keep getting dealt a bad hand."
"Why is it when I lose someone they always go away?" Elizabeth murmured. It seemed as if she was talking to the water. "I've lost Lucky twice, and then there was."
"What?" Jason asked, turning her face gently with his thumb and index finger to face him. "There was what?"
Elizabeth's eyes filled with pain. "You."
Jason blinked. "Me?"
"You," Elizabeth said softly. She stood up and went to the edge of the dock, wrapping her arms around herself. "Before Lucky came back, even after, when you stayed with me in the studio. I never knew how I felt until the day after you left. Then it hit like a tidal wave. And I'd drown myself in work, painting, Lucky.everything to get you off my mind." A tremor ripped through her and she realized she was babbling. She drew in a long breath, but didn't dare turn around. "It's my fault he died."
"Why is it your fault?" Jason asked.
"Because I lied," she said through clenched teeth. "Because I wasn't in love with Lucky, but I let him think I was. This is fate slapping me in the face."
Jason got up and went to stand beside her. "I don't think so."
Elizabeth turned, her eyes filled with regret. "I should have gone with you."
Jason froze. He'd wanted to hear those words for nearly a year, but not like this. Not under these terms. Sure, he wasn't Lucky's biggest fan, but the kid meant something to Emily and Elizabeth and that was enough for him.
"If I had gone with you, if I had followed my heart, this never would have happened!" Elizabeth exploded. Pent up frustration and anger spilled over like molten lava. "Lucky was buying my Christmas present that night! One his way home from the shoot, he and Gia stopped by the jewelry store to pick it up. If he hadn't, he never would have been in that accident! Don't you see, Jason? If I'd left with you, this never would have happened!" She clenched the black box tightly in her small fist and shook it at him. "If he wasn't buying me this damn gift, none of this would have happened!"
Jason grabbed her and pulled her to him again, trying to soothe her hysterics. "You couldn't have known, Elizabeth. There's no way you could have known," he said gently.
Elizabeth cried harder against him. "Why didn't I just come with you?" she asked through her tears.
"Because you were needed here," Jason replied gently, holding her away by the shoulders.
Her hair flopped over her eyes and she glanced up at him.
"I didn't need you the way Lucky did, and you knew that," Jason pressed. His eyes searched hers frantically. "This is in no way your fault. You're not God; you couldn't have stopped this if you tried."
Elizabeth waited, letting the words sink in. "But I let Lucky think I was in love with him."
"Elizabeth," Jason groaned. "Then he was the happiest man alive."
"What?"
Jason placed his gloved hands on her cheeks and wiped away the tears softly. "I know you; I know you loved him. Even when you claim you didn't, something in you still loved him. To be loved by you is." He trailed off weakly, looking away, afraid he was adding on emotions she didn't need to deal with now.
"Finish," Elizabeth requested.
Jason turned and looked her in the eyes. "Amazing."
"But you.I.I never said I loved you," Elizabeth said.
"You didn't have to," Jason said quietly. "I wouldn't have asked you to come with me if I didn't think you weren't in love with me."
"You knew." The realization came at her full force. He knew. He knew. And yet here he was, his heart on his sleeve again. Elizabeth swallowed and simply stared at him. Then a thought struck her. She had to know. "Do you love me?"
Jason closed his eyes and when they opened, her steely eyes were still probing him. "Do you even have to ask?" he replied softly.
Elizabeth threw her arms around him, closing her eyes tightly. His arms wrapped securely around her tiny waist, pressing her against him in the cold. She opened her eyes to see snowflakes falling softly around them.
"It's cold," Jason said.
"And I have you're coat," she answered.
"So let's go inside," he offered. "The studio's just a block away, right?"
She nodded.
"Let's take my motorcycle over," he said. "We can talk more there."
She nodded but didn't take the hand he offered. "I'll be right behind you."
Jason nodded and left her alone.
Elizabeth turned the box over in her hands again. Slowly, she opened it and first removed a slip of paper there.
Dear Elizabeth,
Merry Christmas. Here's something to protect you when I can't be there.
Love Always,
Lucky
Against black velvet lay a golden angel on a gold chain. She removed it from the box, putting the now empty box in her pocket. She fastened it around her neck and fingered it lovingly. She turned her eyes towards they sky full of fluffy white flakes. "Thanks, Lucky. Thanks for bringing him back to me. I love you."
The End
