The Christmas Revelation

Chapter II

Cole realized immediately that this was a surrounding all too familiar to him. The caves gave him a chill. Turning toward Leo, he gave him a seriously questioning look.

"What the hell, Leo? Literally…"

"Yeah, you are right, we are in Hell. There is a good reason for it. Look around and then maybe, you'll understand better what we are doing here."

"Are you insane," Cole said then, back from the first surprise, "you know perfectly well that we are both in mortal danger here."

Then, he added bitterly:

"I cannot even do a thing to protect us now."

Leo grimaced but still continued calmly:

"No one will see you. We are here to observe…"

He had barely finished saying this that he orbed out, leaving Cole alone and dumbfounded.

"Leo?"

He thought to himself, "you bloody coward." Then, he had a very disturbing revelation.

"What is the matter? Has he decided to deliver me to the Source after all?"

He started to wonder with a hint of worry if Leo had found out about his plan, but a demon's arrival interrupted his train of thoughts.

Startled, he did not recognize it at first. It did not took him long however to see that it was Raynor in his demon form, and he threw himself behind the vague protection of a rock formation nearby. His first reaction had been to protect himself, but he soon realized that it was impossible. He had vanquished that demon already, so, how could he be there? Yet, he was not about to dismiss the possibility that the source brought him back. He had almost made up his mind on that one, when two newcomers threw him for a loop. His mother was coming into the chamber, but most importantly, he was with her. Not as he was now, but as he was at the age of ten…

"You will not make me do this mother," the boy that he was said stubbornly.

Elizabeth looked upon him with an undisguised irritation.

"You most certainly will. It is in your nature Belthazor. There is no point in denying it."

"My name is Cole," the boy continued opinionatedly. "Stop calling me by that name."

Cole remembered vaguely this event of his past, although, it was a blur that mixed with so many other memories.

The soft spoken Raynor came toward them, with a snake smile on his lips.

"Leave him to me, Elizabeth. I will take care of showing him the way."

Elizabeth, who was becoming upset with her son, sighed angrily and acquiesced.

"Do your best," she had uttered then, not without a veiled threat into her voice.

After Elizabeth had left with a disdainful glance toward her son, Raynor came closer.

"Come on son, we have a lot to do to make you the great demon that you are destined to be."

Cole had recoiled and taken several steps back at this.

"I will never be a demon. I am human and I do not want to be like you or mother. Leave me alone! Let me go back!"

Unphazed, Raynor still came toward him, keeping the dead smile on as he went.

"You will learn soon that there is no point in denying what you are Belthazor."

Cole screamed at him, a little scared now under the intense stare of the demon.

"I never wanted that. I want to be human and I do not care for any of these things, these powers, you and mother are talking about."

The Cole of the present was observing all this with a certain fascination. In fact, he had almost forgotten what a precarious situation he was in, when Paige's voice had him jump. The surprise was such that he almost went out of his hiding place. Trying to bring his heart to a normal rate by breathing deeply, he turned and stared incredulously at the newcomer. Paige was smiling, a lollipop stuck in the corner of her mouth.

"What the hell are you doing here," he asked, careful not to raise his tone of voice still.

Paige on the other hand did not seem to fear discovery, as she spoke normally, even going out in the open.

"I am just here as an observer. How odd isn't it?" She was indicating the young boy that he was, defiantly standing in front of Raynor.

Cole let out a derisive laughter, but still pulled her rudely away, afraid for her.

"Will you please stay out of sight? You will get both of us killed."

Paige was still totally unconcerned.

"Why? They cannot see or hear us anyway…"

"What?"

Paige turned to him in surprise, as if she thought that he should have known.

"Of course they cannot. We are only visiting your past, not living it."

Cole sighed irritably at Paige's flighty comment. Yet, he had to admit that the whole thing was odd.

Paige continued:

"Didn't you know that?"

He gave her a severe look but did not answer, and she just shrugged, again going out and approaching the boy and Raynor.

She looked very curious about them, and finally Cole had to admit that they did not even acknowledge her presence.

"Why would you want to be a demon again," Paige asked without turning to him. For a moment, he wondered if she was addressing him.

Unsure, he just waited.

"Hey, I'm talking to you," she pursued. "Why do you want to be a demon again," she repeated.

Cole had found the whole setting oddly familiar, and was now certain that Leo had brought him in a very sick version of a classic.

Rather than answering her, he started calling to Leo, now convinced that it was all an illusion for his benefit.

"Leo, come back here, that's not going to work."

However, if Leo heard, he did not come, and Cole sighed dejectedly.

"Suit yourself, but I'm telling you, whatever you are thinking, I will not change my mind."

This, he had added somewhat hesitantly, not because he had doubts, but because he wondered what Leo would do next, now that he knew.

Paige called back to him, a definite irritation coming through in her voice.

"You did not answer my question."

"Why should I? You are only an illusion created by the goodie two shoes Leo."

Paige turned to him askance:

"What does it matter? It does not change the fact that this happened. The boy you were did not want to be a demon. He did not think that he needed it."

"He did not. I do" Cole answered firmly.

Paige came closer:

"Why?"

Cole towered over her:

"If you were truly Paige, you would know. You more than anyone else know that you are not ready to face the dangers out there. You need me with powers to defend you."

Paige lifted her eyebrows, unconcerned again.

"Why don't you trust us with that? Phoebe told you often enough that we could defend ourselves."

"Like Prue?" Cole spat a little too harshly.

"There was nothing that they could do to prevent her death," he still continued, "I won't let that happen to Phoebe."

Paige seemed pained now.

"Didn't you think of her feelings?"

"I'm thinking of her safety, which is more important."

"Are you sure that it's her you're worried about, or is it you?"

"How dare you? I have helped you all and risked my life over and over."

Paige turned away with a shrug:

"Sometimes, courage has a different quality. The boy that you were, he was not afraid to be powerless. He wanted to be good, that's all."

Cole answered curtly.

"He did not know better…"

Paige just shrugged again:

"Didn't he?"

Before he could answer this, the view seemed to revolve changing once, twice, then repeatedly showing him increasingly vile acts committed while he was a demon. Each of these awoke intense remorse inside of him. Nevertheless, in his mind, he still believed that he could control Belthazor. He had before…

The view stabilized on him, as he had been a little more than a year earlier, sitting in his office and paging intently through the Halliwell dossier. It was the dead of night, and he had not expected her call anymore. So that when the phone rang, he took it with some degree of surprise.

He had realized immediately that she had not expected to find him there either. Yet, she was obviously pleased, although slightly embarrassed.

He played his game to perfection. Using all the tricks that he knew of, to continue the seduction he knew would bring him the prize that he was seeking.

The Cole of the present looked upon his old self with unease and shame. How could he have done that to her. Even more so that he remembered the moments where he had felt a strange affection for her. A soft spot that was almost impossible to ignore… She was so genuine, so passionate. He had soon been seduced by her, but dismissed it as a form of lust. One that he could not succumb to for fear of disrupting his mission. That night however, he had believed that victory was almost in his grasp.

Feeling the need to defend himself, he turned to where he thought Paige was. However, this one had disappeared.

Angry, he looked up and called to Leo again.

"It won't work Leo. I am not that demon anymore, and would not be, no matter what. They need my help…"

He knew that his words sounded hollow, but he was working at convincing himself and in a way, it worked.

Leo sighed from up there, and realized that it would probably take much more than this to convince him, however painful that might be.

Cole jumped when he orbed in front of him. He felt like strangling the whitelighter. His little twisted game had to end.

"You will stop this now. If you have something to tell me, do it. Stop playing games."

Instead of answering, Leo grabbed his arm again and orbed them home. There was something different, however. It was daytime, and he could see that Phoebe was having a discussion with Paige in the living room. They did not seem to notice him.

"So," he heard Piper's voice beside him, "you did not learn a thing yet from what you have seen?"

By now, he had understood about the little game and he was not all that surprised to see Piper there, if this even was truly Piper.

"I haven't seen anything that I did not know about. I live with it every day. It doesn't change the fact that I learned from it and that I am trying to do the right thing."

Piper sighed derisively:

"Are you? What you are planning doesn't sound like the right thing to me."

He did not bother to look at her before answering.

"And you are telling me that you never did anything you were not proud of to get a result?"

"Never if it was going to hurt someone. Particularly not the one I loved."

He shrugged impatiently, knowing deep down that she was right, but refusing to admit it openly. In the living room, he could now hear the conversation between the two sisters.

"I'm just worried that he is slipping away from me," Phoebe was telling Paige with a painful expression.

Paige tried her best to be encouraging.

"You should not worry yourself like that. I'm sure that Cole just needs time to adjust."

"How much time?" Phoebe seemed even more agitated.

"I feel like we do not communicate anymore. I'm sure that he reproaches me what happened."

Cole could not help exclaim:

"That's not true!"

However deep inside, he knew that there was some truth to it. No matter, she had not heard him either way.

Paige replied:

"I'm certain that it is just a phase. Things will get better."

"But what if they don't? I love him, Paige, with all my heart, but I cannot live with someone who will always reproach me what he has become. I was so hoping that he would be as happy as I am."

Cole frowned and took a few steps toward her, the pain and fear mixing inside. If he lost her, he did not know what he would do.

She was still saying.

"Why can't he just see the great gift that it is? I thought that he wanted this, but now I'm not so sure that he ever did."

Piper came closer, touching his arm lightly. He looked halfway toward her, the pain visible in his face.

"Don't you see how much you would hurt her if you went through with your plan?"

He breathed deeply, almost tempted to agree, but then he remembered again why he wanted this, or at least why he thought that it was necessary.

"She doesn't understand. As I am now, I am of no use to her. I might lose her anyway to the first demon coming here, and I would not be able to do a thing to save her because I am powerless."

The last few words were told with all the bitterness that he still felt, and Piper sighed as she let go of his arm.

"If you betray her like this, you will lose her either way. Trust me, dying or being hurt by evil would be nothing in comparison to the hurt you would cause her with your betrayal."

"I'm not betraying her," he replied stubbornly, "and she will understand that."

"How can you be so sure?"

"She will know that I'm doing this for her."

"Are you so sure about that? Aren't you doing this because it makes you feel inferior to have lost your powers?"

"How dare you," he snapped, turning toward her angrily.

Unimpressed, Piper just stared back.

"Think what you will Cole. Nevertheless, if you do this to her, it will not matter why. She will not forgive you. What's more, you will not forgive yourself. Ever…"

Ignoring this, he bent toward her, almost pleadingly:

"You don't understand."

Piper still replied calmly:

"Don't I?"

Before he could answer however, she had vanished.

Unsettled, he turned back toward Phoebe and Paige, but these seemed to be slipping away from him quickly, and he realized that the view was still changing.

Now, it was nighttime again. He could see a form walking in the upstairs hallway. Straining to see, he recognized himself in the semi-darkness. However, his features were now hard and angry somehow. The other version of him came to a stop in front of their bedroom.

He seemed to hesitate slightly. Then he shook himself and soon transformed to Belthazor.

Cole jumped, wondering when this was, as he had no memory of such an event.

The demon waited a moment longer, apparently listening in. Then, he shimmered inside, as Cole was transported instantly inside the room.

Belthazor stood only feet away from the bed. In it, Cole could see Phoebe, fast asleep. He thought that she looked a little different, older somehow. She was still as beautiful, but even in her sleep, she seemed sad, and he wondered about it.

Puzzled as to what his demon form intended, he looked back at him to see Belthazor materialize an athame in his right hand.

"No!"

He screamed almost desperately, running toward him. However, he found that not only did not Belthazor see him, but also that he went right through him.

Unwilling to give up, he still put himself between Belthazor and Phoebe.

"Stop," he told him, uselessly, "what are you doing? You love her, how could you?"

Nevertheless, the demon was now moving slowly but purposefully toward Phoebe, ignoring Cole's pleas.

Cole tried to hit him but only met thin air again, as finally the demon had gone through him, and was now standing over Phoebe, ready to strike.

For a moment, he held his breath, hoping against all hopes that the demon would see the wrong of what he was doing. He saw his hand shaking, and almost coming back down slowly. However, when he thought that Belthazor would turn back, this one raised his hand again and struck her hard through the chest. He heard her scream of agony and disbelief, and then fell to his knees, horrified. He uttered not a sound, as his constricted throat would not allow it. Tears rolled down his cheeks, as he wondered what could have gone so wrong.

"You see my love," he heard her incongruously from behind him.

"You betrayed me, tricked me into giving you back your powers, and look where it brought us."

He could not look back, as he was unable to accept the finality of what he had seen, but was also angry with Leo for the cruelty of his actions.

"This is impossible. I would never do that to you," he finally managed.

He heard her sigh behind him, and then she came closer, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"The you that I know would not. However, the you that you might become would."

"I could not hurt you, this is a lie, a bad trick by Leo."

"No Cole, this is really what will happen. At least, what will happen if you go through with your plan."

"No," he then said firmly.

He stood up and turned away from the horrible scene, just after he had seen Belthazor shimmering out.

He looked directly at her before continuing.

"I will not accept that. I know that no matter what I am, I will always love you."

By now, he did not know anymore what was real and what was not. The pain was still terrible and he had to convince himself even more than her that it wasn't true.

"Sometimes, love is not enough Cole." She was looking up at him with infinite pain herself.

"When you tricked me, I began to lose faith in you. I loved you then, I still do now, even dying in this bed." She said, indicating her own dying form, covered in blood. He only looked an instant but soon turned away, the sight being too painful to bear. "We grew apart," she was still saying, " and in the end, it brought us here, when, after I had lost all faith in you, you lost faith in yourself."

Closing his eyes, he looked up angrily.

"Leo, get me out of here, this is not real. It is all a lie that you concocted to convince me to give up. It will not work, I know that this will never happen."

"Cole?"

He could not help looking back at her, hearing the distress in her voice.

"Please you have to believe it. If you do not, then this will happen, but most importantly, we will have lost each other long before that. This pain, we will bear in our hearts until the bitter end. Death will be nothing compared to this."

Cole was thoroughly confused by then. He knew that it was all a part of Leo's plan, but still, how could he ignore what he had seen?

He closed his eyes, trying to chase away the terrible memory. When he opened them again, he was in the attic. Outside it was still dark. He looked around with even more confusion.

Phoebe came in then, but instead of her nightclothes, she had on the dress that she had planned to wear for Christmas.

"Cole? What is it that you wanted me here for?"

His confusion deepened by the moment.

"When are we?" He finally questioned, after looking down on himself, and realizing that he had on the suit he had planned to wear as well for the party.

Phoebe gave him an astounded look.

"You know… It is almost midnight. You told me that I should come here for my surprise. Remember?"

His face was the image of confusion. He grimaced at her almost comically.

"I what?"

"Cole? Are you alright? You told me about this only an hour ago. Then you just left the room without another word. I actually worried that you had gone out without me…"

"I did?" He said, totally floored.

"Cole come on now," Phoebe pursued with a hint of irritation. "It is not funny at all."

Cole more seriously:

"I was not trying to be funny."

Then he looked up again.

"Leo, I am beginning to get tired of this game."

Phoebe came to him with a nonplussed expression.

"What does Leo have to do with it? Is he part of the surprise? I hope that he will come home soon anyway, Piper is getting impatient."

Cole was getting angry.

"I'll bet." He said curtly.

"Cole what is it? I thought that you said you were now happy to celebrate Christmas with me. Aren't you?"

He finally realized that Phoebe knew as little as he did about the weird things that had happened. He was almost tempted to tell her about it, but then, his eyes fell on the book where he had hidden the card. He looked back at Phoebe with hesitation, still wondering what he should do. If he wanted to, it could all work out as he had planned. Whatever Leo had meant to do, it seemed that he was not going to intervene for some reason.

Maybe hoping that he would change his mind…

"Wait here," he suddenly told Phoebe, as he went to the bookshelf to pick up the book. The card was still inside it, where he had left it, and this puzzled him some more. He had half expected that Leo would have taken it away.

His hand was trembling as he pulled it out of the book. What if it was true? What if doing this meant losing her, or worse. Most importantly, why was he really trying to do this? He had been there for a while already, and Phoebe became impatient.

"Cole? The others are waiting for us."

He lifted his head almost as if he had been caught. Then he looked at her strangely.

"Cole? Now I am getting worried about you. Not to mention curious. What was it that you wanted to show me?"

Somehow, right then, he knew.

He took the envelope and quickly tore it to pieces under Phoebe's astonished gaze.

"Hey? Wasn't this for me?"

He threw the pieces in the paper basket and instantly felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Smiling, he went to her.

"No, it was nothing."

"You mean, you got me to come here for no reason at all?"

Downstairs, the grandfather clock struck the first of the twelve chimes that would bring them to midnight.

"Not for nothing," he said with a now amused smile. Taking her in his arms, he pulled her into a deep kiss that left her breathless.

Afterward, she smiled as well, although with a little surprise.

"Wow, when you said you would feel better tonight, you were not joking…"

He grimaced, although still amused.

"Was I that bad?"

She caressed his cheek softly.

"It doesn't matter now. Let's go join the others."

She was almost on her way, when she turned back with a little laugh.

"Unless you have more surprises like this one."

"The night is young," he answered with a suggestive smile. Then he offered his arm to her and they moved toward the door. Just before going out, he looked back, seemingly in wonderment. Then he just shrugged it away and closed the door behind them.

Leo orbed in the attic with a satisfied smile. He looked up and then said.

"Well, now it's your turn…"

Downstairs, they had already lit up the tree and greeted them.

"Hey," said Paige, with some amusement. "We thought that you had given up on Christmas already."

Phoebe laughed:

"Me? Never! Where are the gifts already?"

Piper laughed as well, mostly happy to see her sister in such a good mood. She met Cole's eyes and this one seemed to look strangely at her.

However, it had been fleeting, as if a thought had come to him and he had dismissed it as soon as it had come.

She wondered for a bit, but Leo orbing made her forget all about it.

"Hey my husband, you are just in time. Phoebe would probably not have waited for you. It's a miracle that those gifts are still wrapped anyway."

Phoebe protested:

"Hey, I have not done that in ages…"

Piper retorted, amused.

"Don't you remember the last Christmas we celebrated? You were nineteen, and when we came to open the packages, Gram and I saw that they all had been opened and closed again…"

"You cannot say that it was me, it could have been…"

She stopped herself, worried that she had said too much already.

Pinching her lips, she avoided Piper's gaze.

"It's ok Phoebe. We should not avoid saying her name. On the contrary, let's remember the good times."

Phoebe turned back toward her with a bright smile.

"I still say that it might have been Prue."

Piper burst out laughing.

"Yeah! Well, what do you say we do this now?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Paige felt a little left out, but she understood that Piper and Phoebe still had a lot of issues to work out between them about the loss of their sister. Still, she was thrilled to spend her first Christmas with her new family and did not want to start it with sadness.

Joyously, she came forward.

"Ok, open mine first…"

Meanwhile, Cole still felt the need to have a talk with Leo.

Pulling him aside, he began:

"I can't say that I am too happy with you."

Leo:

"I have no idea what you are talking about…"

Cole lifted his eyebrows in amazement.

"You have some nerves. Not only did I just spend a pretty horrible couple of hours thanks to you, but I even lost a whole day in the bargain…"

Leo could see that the reproaches were half-hearted. Still, he was a little amused at playing with his head for once.

"You really have me at a loss Cole. Maybe, you should see a head doctor?"

Cole smirked:

"I don't think so. I already have the feeling that I had shock treatments as it is…"

Leo gave him a very convincing puzzled look before he moved away. Cole saw that he would not get anything out of the whitelighter and decided to give up. After all, it was all behind him now.

He was still worried about Phoebe and the dangers that he could not keep away from her. However, the little eye opener trip had told him that of all the dangers that she would face, he might just turn out to be the worst. The thought had been unbearable.

Now, he was watching Phoebe opening her gifts and exclaiming like a little girl for each one. Then, he remembered with a start that he had not had the chance to put his own under the tree, or at least he did not remember doing it.

He almost went back upstairs to get it when she turned to him with a delighted expression.

She was holding a little box, which was obviously containing some jewelry. He had gotten her a necklace, but that box was not the one he had prepared.

She came to him with a wide smile, looking up expectantly.

"What?" He asked.

"Well, open it."

"It's for me?" He just realized that he had not expected any gift, even though he should probably have. Moreover, even if he had, it would never have occurred to him that she would give him something like this.

Slowly, he picked up the box with a timid smile.

When he had opened it, his eyes widened in total amazement.

The box contained a woman's engagement ring, and underneath, he could read the words "Yes, I will marry you."

He was so stunned that he looked back and forth between Phoebe and the message, without a word.

Phoebe teased him with a falsely offended look:

"What, did you already change your mind?"

Ignoring the banter, all he could say then was:

"Yeah?"

She nodded yes emphatically with a bright smile.

Forgetting about the ring, he just wrapped his arms around her and held her so tight that she believed she would be crushed. She did not know where all this enthusiasm came from, but she was infinitely grateful to whoever had given her back her man.

"Hey," she finally said, "can I have it now?"

He laughed as he pulled out the ring and put it on her finger, before kissing her hand.

"Thank you," he said softly.

The others interrupted the moment.

"Hey," Paige said as she was almost running to them, "can't we get a hug too? We all helped you know?"

Cole watched her a little warily:

"Are you sure? You did not seem too enthusiastic at having me in the family."

Paige uttered, a little amused:

"Can't a girl change her mind?"

Phoebe hugged her sister gratefully.

"Thanks sis."

Paige just smiled gently. Then, she hugged Cole in turn, albeit a little more awkwardly, but he still was very grateful for her effort.

Piper came in turn to congratulate them.

"Hey, you better be good to her, and you Phoebe, don't follow grams' example even though you're using her ring."

Phoebe just laughed, while Cole looked at her questioningly.

She indicated to him that she would explain later…

However, when came Leo's turn, they saw that he was staying by the tree, with an enigmatic smile.

Phoebe questioned at the same time as Piper:

"Leo?"

Without coming to them, he still said:

"Ok first, congratulations of course."

Then, he bent toward the back of the tree ostensibly.

"And secondly, I have a gift of my own for Cole, here…"

Cole gave him a puzzled look. The way things had gone since yesterday, he was even surprised that he congratulated him at all, let alone gave him a gift.

He pulled out a very simple box, which told nothing about its content and brought it to him.

When he was close enough that only Cole could hear him, he whispered:

"This is from me and the Elders, use it wisely…"

Cole thought that he heard wrong.

"What?"

Nevertheless, Leo just smiled and moved away.

Puzzled, Cole opened the box and his puzzlement deepened when he found nothing in it.

"Well, I know that you are not making good money as a whitelighter, so I guess that I'll take it for a good intention?"

Leo just went on smiling, totally unconcerned.

Cole had just finished saying this when he felt a strange sensation at the base of his neck, like pin needles.

This lasted only a moment, but enough for him to notice. It had felt a little like when he detected an evil agent or a whitelighter for that matter. However, that had not happened since he had become human. When he saw that Leo would not explain himself, he turned toward the low table where they had put the rest of the wrapping paper, intending simply to deposit the box there. The thought had only formed in his mind, when the box flew out of his hands and knocked a pile of wrappings off the table. Phoebe and Piper, who had not been looking at him but rather in the direction of the said table, turned toward him with some concern.

"Cole, come on, I'm sure that it's a mistake…"

Piper stopped herself at the confounded look on Cole's face.

Leo' smile widened considerably, but he still said nothing.

Slightly unsure, Cole looked back at Leo, then to the table again, and almost feeling ridiculous, he visualized the wrappings back on the table.

This time, they all saw them coming back on their own.

Phoebe exclaimed:

"Hey, what is that? Do we have a housecleaning demon in the house?"

Only then did she see the very self-satisfied smile on Cole's face.

She smiled hesitantly, unsure of what it meant.

"You?"

His smile widened as he and the others turned toward Leo at the same time.

This one just said with a big grin:

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!!"

By Christine Lemieux/ Justright