Part 15 - Reasons

Buffy had struggled to even speak to her at first, after all the things that Faith had put them through – trying to kill Angel, turning him (or so she thought), trying to seduce him – even trying to kill Buffy, and when that failed, trying to take over her life.

And then the nightmares had begun, just after the change back, after the returning. Angel had made Buffy deal with the first one – and that had been the start. Gradually, warily, Faith began to talk, telling Buffy about her childhood, shucking off her "bad girl" image, the bravado that she used to stop people hurting her. At first Buffy had been horrified by Faith's matter of fact accounts of childhood abuse and trouble, pitying her, wondering that she hadn't – well, done more damage. Slowly the pity had turned into something else, changing again till Buffy realised that this was what Faith might have been like if she'd had a normal life.

She'd realised quickly that she liked this Faith, this girl who might have been just like her if she'd had a happy, normal family. Even when Faith haltingly explained why she'd done the things, the compulsion to hurt others the way she'd been hurt, Buffy had still felt – only pity. And Faith knew what she'd done. Knew exactly who she'd hurt. Knew she had, somehow, to atone for it. And Buffy wanted to help her, as she always had. There'd always been that – indefinable something between them. Never quite friends but never anything else, either.

* * * *

Faith and Buffy sat now, side by side at the scrubbed kitchen table in the apartment. Angel, Cordy and Wesley were arrayed opposite them, Wesley holding a mug tightly in his hands.

Faith was still, lips curved enough that a smile was recognisable, cheeks slightly flushed. She felt – normal. For the first time in her life, there was no-one to fight. No-one trying to hurt her, take advantage of her, abuse her. She knew what it was like for the first time to have someone she could call a friend. Deep inside, she could feel what she'd been, the darkness that had been there, the badness that it seemed had always been part of her – but it was locked away and could never come back. She knew, though, what she'd done, and how, and who to. She meant to do everything in her power to make it up, and she knew at some point she would have to face the Council. Answer for herself and what she'd done. But first, she felt she had to make the offer to stay. To try and make amends. She glanced at the blonde girl next to her. Buffy's face was radiant as she and Angel smiled at each other, eyes locked. So good to be herself again, her body fitting exactly as it should. Her strength returned. She wasn't sure, now, that she could ever imagine not being a Slayer. Not yet, anyway.

* * * *

It had been a week since the switch and the spells, passing quickly, time flowing fast as she and Faith became friends. Wesley had been resting for much of that time – no-one had quite realised how much effort he had expended in returning Buffy to her own body, returning her powers – and working the ritual on Faith, that had made her – well, good. Angel had asked, afterwards, where he'd found the spell. Wesley had blushed to the roots of his hair and mumbled something about it being from an ancient sect who'd used it to control people, altering their minds, affecting their behaviour, not always for good. He and Giles had found it between them, each researching and communicating by phone.

Giles had been all for coming down to join them and help perform it, but Wesley had assured him that the situation was under control. And the spell? Once set, the alteration was irreversible and its effect could not be faked or avoided. The reasons it had not been used often or widely, almost lost to time. Until now. Angel had surmised that it was not something which Wesley ought to have used; he smiled inwardly, looking at Buffy and Faith. But the result achieved had been what they wanted.

Slayer and Slayer. The Chosen Two. No rogues in sight.

Faith's face grew serious, and she cleared her throat nervously. "I've been thinking." Faith said, glancing back at Buffy, then around at the others. "I've caused so much trouble……Angel, I'd like to stay here. You know, help out. B - Buffy's got Sunnydale under control, I'd be useful here. You could do with an extra body. Extra skills." She lowered her gaze to the floor, knowing he'd say no, knowing the reasons why.

Cordelia stared incredulously, still not trusting this new, super-helpful Faith, even though she'd been astonished by the total change, to say the least.

"Stay here? With us?" she blurted out. Faith nodded, glancing up at Angel, face falling as he slowly shook his head, even though she'd known he would. He had no choice but to refuse her.

"Faith. I'm sorry. You have to go back to Sunnydale – you have to face the Council, to answer for the things you've done. Even though Wesley and Buffy have spoken to Giles, you still need to go to them. He has explained things now, but – well." Angel said quietly, eyes dark with pain. "Atonement. It's something we all have to do. It's the only hope we have, to redeem ourselves. And as for what you did here, that's also something you'll have face up to. But I know the Council have been in touch Kate, and I know that she's willing to hand responsibility over to them." His mouth quirked slightly. "Unusual, for her to agree," he looked at Wesley, "and I think someone may have been leaning on her slightly?" Wesley cleared his throat and looked at the floor, refusing to speak, but face reddening slightly.

Faith sighed. "Yeah. I know. I just – I guess I just wanted to do something first, to help. Before I go and get punished for my crimes. Before the Council locks me up or whatever they're planning to do." She looked sadly at Wesley, mouth trembling slightly. "Will I have to go to England, Wesley? Will I have to leave everything? My – friend?" Buffy smiled reassuringly.

Wesley looked at her, meeting her eyes steadily. "No. They're sending – have sent, rather, a delegation to Sunnydale. Things there have – also been sorted out. The police will leave you alone – they've had dealings with the Council, as well. Rupert and I have briefed them, and they're waiting for you. To go to them." He shrugged. "What form their punishment will take, I don't know. I'm sorry," he hesitated then added, "The last rogue Slayer was – well, she was never – um, helped, the way you've been. So I don't know that they have any – anything to go by. I have no idea what they'll choose to do. But we'll help you, if we can – or at least, Buffy and Giles will."

Faith sighed and nodded, closing her eyes as Buffy took her hand in a warm grip, laying her dark head down on Buffy's shoulder. Resigned, accepting. To whatever fate the Council of Watchers deemed would be hers.


* * * * *

Buffy glanced back over her shoulder as she and Faith walked away from the building, twilight darkening the street around them. Angel had offered to take them to the bus depot, but she hadn't wanted to say goodbye to him there, not in front of other people. They had already said their goodbyes to each other, with feelings, not words. They had snatched a few hours together, both of them lying close, entwined, fully clothed, just hugging. No words were necessary, could never have said what they wanted. Her heart breaking anew as they kissed, knowing that this was all they could ever have. And now she was walking away from him.

Faith gripped her hand tightly, offering what little comfort she could. Her throat was tight as she looked at Buffy's face, watching her look back, knowing how much it hurt her to leave him, but knowing still that it had to be done. Angel without a soul – she remembered what he'd done before and knew it could never be allowed to happen again, knew that Buffy herself would kill him before she let him loose his evil on the world again.

Tears ran down Buffy's cheeks as she saw him then – a tall, dark figure, alone in the doorway, outlined by the light behind him, one hand raised to wave, as they walked slowly away and into the dark.