Part Three
Another Author's Note: Distracting myself from recent events.
For those of you who don't know, Kakyou was in love with Hokuto. This comes up in manga 14 or 15 or so of X/1999, so I'm sorry if I'm spoiling anything for you . . . .
The room had a morbid atmosphere to it, not that it surprised Subaru very much. He walked in, reaching up to take off his hat, then remembering he'd stopped wearing it after Hokuto had died. He was tired of being the cute, naïve teenager. He certainly wasn't naïve anymore. Cute was still up for debate, especially if Seishirou was involved.
His hair wasn't all that had changed. His wardrobe had simplified, cutting down to black, white, and earth tones only. He'd found an incredibly neat pair of boots. Hokuto would have loved them, so he'd bought them on a whim. Naturally, he'd stopped wearing the gloves. He just didn't see the point. Hokuto's clothes had been packed in boxes and left in his closet. He had no idea what he was going to do with them if he was moving in with Seishirou, or, for that matter, any of his other memorabilia.
He walked over and pulled a chair over to Kakyou. He'd never met him, but Hokuto had talked incessantly about him. "You should go see him, Subaru-chan! He's lonely, like you!"
Like me, Subaru thought sadly, and reached out to take Kakyou's hand. Gomennasai, Kakyou-san . . . I should have come to see you after her death . . . but I was so wrapped up in myself then that it didn't occur to me that I wasn't the only one hurting.
Another death on his hands.
Unless he could save Kakyou somehow.
The man at the door hadn't known him, but the name Sumeragi had a lot of clout to it, and Subaru insisted on sitting with Kakyou for at least a little while. Now, sensing that the man had become thoroughly absorbed in his magazine again, Subaru tried to see if there anything he could do.
It had been a week since Kakyou had shot himself. The doctors insisted that he should have emerged from the coma, but he hadn't, stubbornly clinging to death.
Subaru began to chant softly, going Within.
It was a difficult spell, but Kakyou had neither the strength nor the inclination to keep him out. Within a relatively short amount of time, Subaru found himself standing on a beach. He breathed in the salty air deeply. Hokuto had loved the beach.
Didn't she mention that she was going to take him to the beach if he could ever get out of his Dreamscape? Subaru tried to remember, but didn't. Kakyou had apparently come out of his Dreamscape long enough to try to kill himself. And now he was there again.
Subaru stepped over the rocks carefully, his white trenchcoat billowing out behind him in the wind. "Kakyou-san?" he called out. His voice had changed, too. Though it hadn't deepened, the softness was gone, leaving a voice that felt like sandpaper to people when he spoke, rough with pain and sorrow. "Kakyou-san, are you here?"
There.
A figure was sitting on one of the rocks, staring out to sea. Subaru cautiously picked his way over to the other man, watching his thin blonde hair swirl in the breeze. "Kakyou-san . . ."
"They won't let me go." Kakyou didn't turn to see who he was speaking to. "Why won't you let me go?"
Subaru knelt next to him, but said nothing.
Kakyou glanced over at him, and his eyes widened. "Hok - no. You are not her." He tilted his head to one side, looking at him curiously. "You must be her twin brother."
Subaru nodded. "Sumeragi Subaru. It's good to meet you, Kakyou-san. My sister talked about you quite a bit."
"Your sister . . ." Kakyou's eyes shadowed with pain, and he looked away. "I am sorry for your loss."
"I am equally sorry for yours," Subaru said softly.
Kakyou glanced at him for a second, then nodded in acknowledgment and looked down again. "You don't look the way I had expected you to. Hokuto talked about you. She said . . . you had strong power, but a pure heart . . . that it caused you pain."
Subaru nodded slightly. "That sounds like something Hokuto-chan would say."
"You sound like you don't agree."
"I agree. She was right. My sister was very seldom wrong. Only about one . . . little thing . . ." Subaru thought of his sister's incessant teasing on the subject of Seishirou. No, she was right that I loved him . . . she just thought that he loved me too. I wonder how I could make him . . .
"What would that be?" Kakyou asked, looking curious in spite of himself.
Subaru's hands itched for a cigarette. Great, addicted already. "Do you know how she died?" he asked quietly.
Kakyou shivered. "I saw it. I saw the Future, but . . . I couldn't do anything."
"That man, who killed her . . . we thought he was a friend." Subaru pulled his coat tighter around his shoulders. He couldn't quite find anything else to say about it.
"What's being done about him?" Kakyou asked quietly.
Subaru's lips twisted in a bitter smile. "He's being taken care of." I'll have my revenge on you, Seishirou-san. You wait and see if I don't. He turned and looked at Kakyou. "Love works in funny ways, doesn't it," he said, voice vulnerable suddenly, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"Yes," Kakyou breathed.
"I loved him . . . he killed her . . . and I still love him." Subaru shook his head, wiping his eyes and ignoring Kakyou's astonished look. "He broke my heart and destroyed everything that I'd ever held dear . . . but when he's near me, I still . . ." That was it, he was going to have a cigarette or die trying. He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out the pack that Seishirou had given him that morning, then realized he had no lighter. He shoved it back into his coat with a curse. Oh well, he'd call it an exercise in self-control and get over himself. "And I hate him, too. God, I hate him." His fists clenched, fingernails digging into his palms. "I can't decide whether I want to kill him or throw myself at him. I would do anything to make him love me . . . but he lied to me the whole time." Subaru rubbed the tears off his cheeks. "I was so stupid . . . I never even thought to doubt him. So now . . ."
"Now what?" Kakyou asked softly. "You sound like you have a plan."
"Oh, I do." Subaru smiled crookedly. "I'm not sure it's going to work. But I do have a plan." He sighed. "Enough about me . . . why won't you come out?"
"There is nothing for me out there," Kakyou said dully.
"Like there's something for you in here?" Subaru glanced around at the landscape skeptically.
Kakyou blinked at him, obviously startled.
Subaru shrugged. "They're not going to let you die, you know. You might as well come out."
Kakyou just shook his head.
"I stayed inside myself for a month after Seishirou-san tried to kill me," Subaru said quietly. "Because it was safe. But if I hadn't . . . she might not have gone to meet him . . . she might never have died."
"You don't know that."
"No. I don't." What was your one spell, Hokuto-chan? "But I'll always feel guilty."
"There's no point in that."
"I know. But there's also no point in you staying wrapped up in yourself in here." Subaru stood. "I'll come visit you again, if you don't mind."
"No," Kakyou said. "I . . . I'd like that. Subaru."
Subaru smiled, then turned around and walked away.
****
Author's Random Insert: Great, now he's dragging Kakyou into this, too . . . none of this is my fault, I swear to God Subaru is possessing my body and going after a little revenge for himself. ::sighs and runs off to study for sociology final::
"Did you go to visit Kakyou?" Seishirou asked, serving Subaru up some food.
"Yes," Subaru answered evenly. He had also gone back to his apartment and gotten an assortment of stuff, which was now sitting in boxes on Seishirou's floor. Seishirou hadn't said anything about it; he was obviously going to avoid the subject of Subaru moving in if at all possible.
"How did you know him?"
"I didn't," Subaru answered evenly.
Seishirou blinked. "Then why . . ."
"He was a friend of my sister's," Subaru answered shortly. His voice clearly implied, Congratulations, Seishirou-san, you nearly managed to kill three people with one shot.
"Ah," Seishirou said, not sure there was much else he could say to that. He was still completely lost as to Subaru's plan. The Sumeragi was sweet one moment, standoffish the next. If his plan was to just keep Seishirou so confused that he didn't know what to expect, it was working perfectly.
Subaru watched as Seishirou poured him some tea, then took a sip.
"So, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like a little clarification as to the new terms of the bet."
Subaru merely looked up, raising his eyebrows.
"Since it's technically still on," Seishirou added, smiling. "Are we still going by the same terms?"
Subaru nodded slowly. "That I have to make you feel something true. And convince you that I'm more than an object." He smiled suddenly. "It doesn't sound difficult at all, phrased like that."
"Oh?" Seishirou asked, voice laden with meaning. "You're sounding altogether too optimistic, Subaru-kun."
Subaru blinked innocently up at him. "Well, you've given me lots of encouragement. After all, I've given you the chance to kill me twice and you still won't. I'll take that as a good sign. And you're letting me stay here."
"Because I don't have the patience to argue with you," Seishirou said with an elegant shrug of his shoulders. "It's all the same to me."
Subaru noted this with a slight smile. It would be better if he was vehemently opposed to it, because then I could claim there must be some reason . . . indifference is much harder to deal with.
In truth, Seishirou was vehemently opposed to it, but he certainly wasn't about to let Subaru know that. "And what about the rest of your things? Are they going to gather dust in your old apartment?"
"No, I'll go by to dust them," Subaru replied.
Seishirou rolled his eyes and muttered, "Of course you will." He cleared his throat and returned to his normal speaking voice. "And you're all right with the couch? I'd hate to deny my Subaru-kun anything . . ."
"The couch is fine," Subaru interrupted before Seishirou could finish that thought, blushing faintly.
"All right." Seishirou smiled. It was going to be an interesting evening.
****
Seishirou followed his normal routine when he didn't have any work to do; he ate dinner, then sat down on the couch with a magazine. He was slightly nonplussed when Subaru grabbed a book and plopped down next to him. He was certainly not about to let Subaru know this. Everything passed fairly quietly until Subaru gradually leaned over further and further until his head was resting on Seishirou's shoulder and the book slid from his limp fingers.
Seishirou blinked and looked down at him. Cute, Subaru-kun. He shrugged his shoulders a little to get the boy off of him, but Subaru's expression didn't change. Seishirou frowned. Are you really asleep? He touched Subaru's mind gently, and it confirmed his suspicions: Subaru was sound asleep.
Seishirou paused, not quite sure how to react to this. Since Subaru really was asleep, he had the liberty to deal with it however he pleased. However, if he shoved Subaru off of him, it was fairly likely that the Sumeragi would wake up. Then he'd probably smile innocently and say, "Why, Seishirou-san, I didn't think you minded my company that much . . ."
That was not an option.
Besides, it wasn't altogether unpleasant to have Subaru nestled up against him. Not that he planned on letting Subaru know that. Or, for that matter, thought that it was something he should be susceptible to. However, intimate, physical contact was a rarity for him. There was no reason he shouldn't enjoy it while it lasted.
It wasn't emotional, he told himself firmly.
Oh, who the hell are you kidding? his inner voice asked, sounding altogether too amused.
"Don't you start in on me," Seishirou muttered to that inner self. "I've got enough problems."
He decided to get up and extract himself from the situation. As soon as he moved, however, Subaru's head slid off his shoulder and somehow ended up in his lap.
Oh. Great.
He looked down at his opposing star's face, completely composed and relaxed in sleep, washed clean of the bitterness that had marred his beauty earlier.
Did you just say beauty?
Well, of course, it was no secret that Subaru was beautiful. Seishirou had known that since the first time he'd met him. A beautiful object, that was all, nothing more, like a particularly well crafted crystal vase or a dozen roses or a strain of Vivaldi -
Stop comparing him to things. You're making it worse.
Seishirou let out a heavy sigh, guard down for the moment, his fingers absently toying with the Sumeragi's soft hair. Subaru smiled in his sleep and snuggled closer.
This was such a mistake.
Yes, but how am I supposed to get out of it now? If I tell Subaru-kun that I've changed my mind, that he can't stay here, he'll just grin and say that I'm afraid of losing the bet. And he'll be right.
A sudden thought occurred to Seishirou.
So, what's the tragedy if I lose?
"Don't be ridiculous," Seishirou firmly told his inner self. "You're the Sakurazukamori. He's the thirteenth head of the Sumeragi Clan. Are you out of your mind?"
"Subaru-kun, have you lost your mind?"
"Yes. You've driven me insane, Seishirou-san."
"Great," Seishirou muttered. "At least I'm not the only one." He sighed, leaning his head back against the cushions, fingers brushing gently over Subaru's skin. Subaru murmured something and sighed.
It wasn't like it could work, not that Seishirou was seriously considering it for an instant. Subaru was devoted to preventing the misuse of omnyoujitsu. Seishirou was the misuse of omnyoujitsu. Talk about a match made in Hell.
Not to even mention that he had deceived him, broken his heart, killed his sister, and done any other number of nasty things to Subaru. Seishirou himself was completely at a loss as to why on earth Subaru still wanted his company anyway, let alone wanted Seishirou to love him.
His fingers brushed over Subaru's cheek, over his lips, twined in his hair. Might as well get this out of my system while he's asleep.
And just what are you getting out of your system? Seishirou's inner voice spoke up.
He blinked a few times.
"This is hopeless." He carefully eased Subaru off his lap, standing. Subaru yawned and curled into a little ball. Seishirou found the blanket he'd been using the night before and tucked it around his shoulders. Subaru smiled a little bit, relaxing deeper into sleep.
Seishirou went to his room and changed, then crawled under the covers. It wasn't until much later that night that he realized that he'd only checked to make sure Subaru was asleep at the beginning of his conversation with himself.
****
Author's Note: Hey, does anyone else think Seishirou would like classical music with lots of violins? . . . No, I thought it was just me . . . Good God, he's being cute here. ^_~
If he keeps touching me, I think I'll either catch fire or die, Subaru thought. He was painfully aware of Seishirou's fingers running through his hair and over his skin. It amused him terribly, however, to realize that Seishirou thought he was asleep. And he had been asleep, but then Seishirou had started to move, and he'd woken to find his head in Seishirou's lap.
It had startled him at first, but he'd gotten accustomed to it quickly. He heard Seishirou let out a heavy sigh and suppressed the urge to try to see the older man's face. He knew if he so much as twitched, Seishirou would realize he was awake, and that was something he didn't want. That was when Seishirou's fingers began toying with his hair. It was a pleasant sensation, if somewhat unnerving.
He heard Seishirou mutter something to himself, then his fingers moved down to trace the line of his jaw, along his cheekbone, over his lips. He almost shivered, but managed to suppress it in time.
"This is hopeless," he heard Seishirou mutter. Then he felt himself falling onto the couch. Seishirou tucked a blanket around his shoulders, sighed again, and left the room.
Subaru smiled. This was going far better than he'd expected.
****
