[Ack! So the baby's name is Connorwhy didn't I think of that?? What an awsome namealright, so let's just pretend his name has always been Connor, alright? Although his name isn't mentioned so much in this one. Also, I've read a couple spoilers that will contradict a lot of what I've been writing, but bear in mind this is FICTION.

One other thing, to fully get in the mood for this one, download "To Where You Are" by Josh Groban. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE! Enjoy the fourth and final part of my story! And thanks to Lllygirl2001 for the idea!

I don't own any of the characters. The song belongs to Josh Groban. I'm only borrowing them.]

Dad doesn't smile much anymore; it's almost as if he forgot how to. I don't blame him though, we're all still hurting, he's just worse. Mom always used to tell me never to end up as broody as he is. If she thought he was broody then

They told me the whole story when I was 13 figuring I was old enough to handle it all. It doesn't matter how old you are; finding out that your parents aren't who you thought they were is kind of a shock. I mean, Dad's a vampire and Mom isn't even related to me! Once the initial shock wore off, things went back to normal again, I even continued calling Cordelia Mom' which she said she liked better. She may not have been my biological mother but she was there for me more then anyone else in my seventeen years on this planet.

Not to say Dad wasn't, he was there as much as he could be. If I had a question about history homework, he was there with a first-hand account of what had gone on, but when it came to my first little league game, he had to settle with a video that mom had made.

The two of them always claimed their friendship was completely platonic, but I had seen things that contradicted that. Looks they gave each other when the other wasn't looking, or looks that they'd exchange when they thought I wasn't looking.

Neither of them talked much about their pasts. They said it was too painful or too embarrassing to relate what they were like in previous years. Every time I asked mom about high school, she laughed and walked away.

The laughter's gone now.

I remember the night it left more vividly then any other. I was working on a Chemistry project and Fred was helping me. We were joking around about something, I can't remember what, when Wesley and Gunn came into the lobby. I could hear the rain from outside and I noticed blood on their clothing.

"Fred, Connor, you need to come with us," said Wesley, panting.

My heart pounded as we raced through the dark streets towards the hospital. Mom was hurt. Badly.

When I got to her room, I found Dad holding her hand to his face and when he looked up at me, I could see the places where tears had run down his cheeks. Without saying a word, I sat opposite him, taking her other hand in mine.

More then anything I wanted to be strong for Dad, but when the steady beep of the heart monitor became one long, steady note, the tears were there in my eyes and I clung desperately to her hand as the doctors came running in.

The funeral was beautiful. Fred got it all ready for her, even got her parents to show up. Dad didn't though. Afterwards, I went home and we got into our first real argument.

"Where were you?" I asked him, storming into his office. He looked up from the book he was reading.

"I was busy."

"Bullshit!" I yelled the first swear word I had ever used in one of my parent's presence, "it was Cordelia!"

"I know! Cordelia's supposed to be in the lobby, telling me to stop my brooding and smile. She's supposed to be helping me with a big case coming up. She's supposed to be with me when I live again."

"But she's dead!"

He stood up and for a moment I thought he might actually hit me. Instead, he pulls me into his arms in a fierce hug. I was shocked; I'd never seen my dad so vulnerable.

"I loved her," he said, "so much. I never told her though, and now she's gone."

He let me go and turned towards the bookcase, staring at it as if he was waiting for it to talk to him. I turned to leave but his voice stopped me.

"She was my everything." I waited for more, my hand resting on the doorknob, but he was quiet. I left his office and we never talked of that night again.

Slowly, things began to go back to almost normal. Fred and Wesley took me out a lot and Gunn would hang out with me, all of them trying to take my mind off mom. Dad seemed to avoid me though, but Wesley explained that it was most likely because I reminded him of her.

One night, I went up to my room, tired from a long day to find Dad standing by my window. His hands were in his pockets and he was looking down.

"She used to hold you here," he said finally, looking up and out the window. I moved to stand beside him, my shoulders almost touching his. "She loved you like you were her own, Connor. She knew she'd never have a child of her own so she happily took you."

"Dad, you don't-"

"No, it's ok," he took a deep breath before continuing, "she gave up so much when she started working for me. She was this beautiful, wild bird that I captured and caged. She deserved so much better. You deserved better."

There was another silence, and Dad turned to leave the room. As he reached the door, I turned to him.

"Dad-" I started, but he stopped me, almost as if he had been reading my thoughts.

"Go," he said, a shadow of a smile playing on his face, and then he left the room.

Now I'm on the bus, only hours after we had that talk. I have so many questions, and I know this is the only way to get the answers. It's hard to stay awake now, but I make myself since I know we're almost there. The first rays of sun light the sky and I press my face to the glass to read the green sign as we pass it.

Welcome to Sunnydale.

//Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star. I wish upon tonight, to see you smile, if only for awhile to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.//