Warning: This part contains strawberries....
XD!! Some people will get the joke. If you don't now, you will by the end of the chapter.
Part Six
"Hey, I brought you something." Johnny handed a small box to Subaru. Subaru had waited outside the apartment building for him.
"Really?" Subaru opened up the small box to reveal a pair of sunglasses. They were mirror shades like Seishirou's, only smaller and rounder. "Thanks . . . why, though?"
"Because you're always complaining about how you can never see Seishirou's eyes. So I figured you could wear these and get back at him for it."
Subaru fiddled with the glasses. "I appreciate the offer, but . . . I can't accept it."
Johnny raised an eyebrow.
"Seishirou-san wears the glasses for two reason. He really does like to unnerve people with them, particularly me. But he also wears them because he only has one eye. He lost the other defending me . . . it was what made me realize that I loved him. And I can't needle him about the sunglasses."
"Why can't you?"
Subaru shrugged. "Because it wouldn't be right."
"Because you feel guilty?"
Subaru shifted. "Well, he did lose the eye for my sake."
"Well, you don't have to feel guilty; it's not like you forced him too. It's okay to feel sympathy, but not guilt."
"Well, whether it's sympathy or guilt, I still wouldn't needle him about the sunglasses," Subaru said, in a polite but firm tone that indicated the matter was closed.
"Have you tried asking him to take them off?"
Subaru blinked.
"People miss the most obvious solutions," Johnny said, shaking his head.
"I don't want to ask him that," Subaru said, squirming visibly.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to bring it up at all."
"You don't want to bring it up or you don't want him to stop wearing them?"
"Uhm . . ."
"Does his blind eye make you nervous?"
"A little, yeah," Subaru admitted.
"Well, you'd better get used to it. It's part of him. Besides, if you ever sleep with him, he can't wear them then."
Subaru turned red. "Johnny!"
"What?"
"Let's go inside."
"Whatever you say." Johnny followed Subaru into the apartment. Seishirou was inside cooking dinner.
"Oh, did you already start cooking?" Subaru asked. "Johnny doesn't really like Japanese food; I was going to suggest something American."
"What?" Seishirou looked up and saw Johnny. Oh, this is going to go badly.
"It's the seaweed, raw fish thing, it creeps me out," Johnny said.
Seishirou looked down at what he'd been cooking.
"You can eat that, Seishirou-san . . . I'll just cook some hamburgers for the two of us. Sorry." Subaru looked apologetic. Johnny attempted to look apologetic and failed miserably.
Seishirou contained his irritation. "Don't worry about it, Subaru-kun."
Subaru squashed into the small kitchen, which definitely wasn't built for two, brushing up against Seishirou as he tried to reach the fridge. Seishirou pressed himself against the counter to allow Subaru more room. Johnny stood in the doorway and watched. He contemplated going in to 'help' and thus make even less room in the kitchen, but he didn't want to be that close to Seishirou.
Within fairly short order, dinner was ready and on the table. "You didn't tell me we were going to have a guest," Seishirou said reprovingly.
"You didn't ask," Subaru said.
"That's hardly fair."
"I didn't want you to get jealous ahead of time," Subaru said.
Johnny snickered.
"What makes you think I'd get jealous at all?" Seishirou asked.
"I don't know, maybe your reaction last time he was here."
"I thought I was going to be killed for poaching," Johnny added, draping himself over Subaru. "I just can't help it. He's too cute."
"Not at the dinner table," Subaru told him, smirking.
"Okay, afterwards," Johnny said, unwrapping himself from around Subaru and going back to his food.
No, not afterwards, Seishirou thought, ready to spit fire.
"Anyway," Johnny said, "don't you like American food, Sei-san?"
Subaru choked on his tea.
Seishirou lifted an eyebrow. "Sei-san?"
"Well, Mr. Sakurazuka is too long. Mr. Seishirou is just weird, not to mention incorrect. Seishirou-san is too . . . Japanese. So it's gonna have to be Sei-san. And don't look at me like that; yes, I'm a Gaijin."
"I noticed," Seishirou said, pouring himself more tea.
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Why do you wear gloves, Johnny?" Seishirou suddenly asked.
"It's part of my charm."
"Yes, you do have an overabundance of charm."
"It helps me get what I want," Johnny said, putting his arm around Subaru's shoulders again.
"I thought you wore them because you were psychometric."
"Sounds like a fancy name for head trouble." Johnny reached up with a few gloved fingers and played with Subaru's hair. "And if you knew the answer, why did you ask?"
Seishirou was trying to ignore the fact that Johnny was touching his Subaru-kun. "To see if I was right."
"I got the impression you were hardly ever wrong."
"I'm not," Seishirou said with a smile.
"Well, then, maybe you should trust yourself. But you're right; you win the prize for today. Unless, that is, the prize is Subaru."
Subaru just laughed, leaning his head on Johnny's shoulder.
Seishirou twitched. "Are you implying that Subaru is yours?"
"I'm not implying he belongs to anyone. But if you don't want him . . ."
Of course I do. No I don't. Oh God. Conflicting signals . . . Seishirou clenched his fist in frustration, under the table where nobody could see. He forced his voice to be even. "He's all yours."
"If you say so," Johnny said. He leaned very close and whispered into Subaru's ear, "This is working quite well, don't you think?"
Subaru grinned and nodded.
Seishirou abruptly stood and left the room.
Subaru burst into snickers. "Oh God, this is so funny!"
"Doesn't take competition well, does he," Johnny said.
"He never had any before," Subaru said. "And he knows he's backed into a corner, because if he doesn't admit that he feels something for me, then you'll just scoop me up, which you won't because you've got Liam, but he doesn't know that."
"This is the most fun I've had in ages," Johnny said.
"Johnny, has anyone ever told you that you're twisted?"
"The correct term is neurotic."
"Right," Subaru said. "Anyway, I'll wait and see what he does . . . I do need more clothes, though. He's gotten used to all the ones I own now."
Johnny suddenly grinned. "Hey, I have a good idea . . ."
"What?"
"How about we go shopping, then you come over and stay the night at my place?"
Subaru blinked. "Why?"
"Because he'll never know that you slept on the couch," Johnny said.
Subaru slowly grinned. "That is a good idea. I'm such a little bastard."
"I'm no better. Let's go."
Subaru stood and walked to the kitchen, where Seishirou was sulking and pretending to do dishes. "Naa, Seishirou-san . . . Johnny and I are going out . . . shopping. I'll probably be back late. Don't wait up for me."
Seishirou muttered something, nearly breaking the china as he slammed it around in the sink.
"Jaa!" Subaru called as he pulled his shoes on and left. Johnny followed with a proprietary arm around Subaru's waist that Seishirou couldn't help but notice. As soon as they were out the door, he let go of Subaru.
"His head's going to explode."
"That's the point."
"I mean, really. Brain goo everywhere."
"He'll just have to deal."
"Have you tried the PDAs?"
"Just the holding hands thing. Honestly, what do you think he would do if I kissed him in public?"
"Odds are, be a bit stunned and then kiss back. I've been paying attention. He wants you." Johnny said this in a totally matter-of-fact tone of voice.
Subaru tripped over a crack in the concrete and nearly went sprawling. "H-he what?"
Johnny looked at him. "There was enough sexual tension in that room to spread it like butter, and it wasn't because I was there."
"But he doesn't love me," Subaru said insistently. "I can tell. So how can he want me?"
"Sex and love don't necessarily go hand in hand," Johnny said. "A lot of the time they do, but not always. Besides, he cares for you some or you'd be dead by now."
"Oh, that's comforting," Subaru said. "So he's keeping me around because he wants to sleep with me? Great. I don't want him to want me. I want him to love me."
"But you can't separate the two," Johnny said. "If he didn't care about you, he wouldn't want you. Anyone would suffice. And I'll guarantee you that he probably goes to a Soapland to try to work off some of the tension, but as soon as he's around you, it's back again. Lust and love are two different things, but if it was just lust, anyone would do. And it won't. He wants you."
"Great." Subaru drooped. "This doesn't help me at all."
"Oh, get over yourself. Let's go shopping. I had another idea."
"What?"
"You said that you realized you loved him when he got hurt protecting you. Right?"
"Right."
"So find a way to get hurt protecting him. Not badly hurt, just sort of hurt. It might help."
"Only you would think of something twisted like that."
"It's all part of my charm."
****
Author's Note: It just occurred to me, when Seishirou made the bet, how did he know Subaru was going to turn out gayer than sin? I mean, that was really lucky for him. If Subaru had been straighter than a yardstick, Tokyo Babylon would've been really different, and probably nowhere near as interesting.
Seishirou did the dishes, cleaned off the table, and settled down in the living room. He couldn't help but wonder if Johnny and Subaru were really 'shopping,' but pushed that thought away quickly.
The thought of Subaru being with someone else hurt him more than he would admit.
"Look, be logical about this," he said to himself. "Subaru wants you, or else he wouldn't be here. But he's too nice to lead someone else on like that, so Johnny has to know what's going on. Which means that Johnny probably isn't actually interested in Subaru for whatever reason. The whole thing is just to make you jealous, so let it go."
Brilliant logic, now if only he could make himself believe it . . .
It wasn't even so much that he didn't believe it. It simply came down to two basic facts.
One: Subaru belonged to him. No one was allowed to touch him the way Johnny kept doing. It didn't matter how they meant it. It was simply unacceptable.
Two: Watching Johnny do that only made Seishirou want to do it more. This was also unacceptable. He had to control himself.
Subaru was making it damned hard on him.
Johnny wasn't helping.
As he'd suspected from the beginning, the whole thing had been a mistake. He should have left Subaru in the park that day, catatonic or faking or whatever. Now he was stuck with the Sumeragi, and the only way out was to admit defeat.
That was also unacceptable.
Come to think of it, the whole damn situation was unacceptable. 'Unacceptable' was quickly becoming the most frequently used word in his vocabulary.
He knew Subaru was stubborn enough, and was beginning to suspect that he was talented enough, to keep this up until he'd won.
Seishirou was trying to think ahead, trying to figure out the possible ramifications that might result in losing the bet. For one thing, Subaru would hold it over his head the rest of his life.
Other than that . . .
And that was when his logic fell apart. Because if Subaru was willing to forgive and forget and accept what Seishirou was, there really wasn't anything that would keep the two of them apart.
Except Seishirou's pride.
Ah, but what's the point in a bet you know you can win? his inner voice piped in.
"Shut up," Seishirou replied irritably. I want him, that's all, he told himself firmly. That's acceptable. That's natural, with what he's been doing lately. There's nothing wrong with that. And it's not more than that.
It was then that he looked at the clock and saw that it was past midnight.
He did a double take and checked again, but no, the clock still read 12:13.
His first thought, much to his discomfiture, was one of worry. What if something had happened?
Then he instinctively reached out to Subaru, touching on his mind gently. Not enough to tell where he was or what was happening, but enough to determine one crucial factor . . .
Subaru was asleep.
Seishirou blinked. All right, that was fine, he'd slept over at Johnny's.
His mind processed that for a second, then realized what conclusion he had just come to.
Slept over at Johnny's?
That was unacceptable.
He hadn't even called.
Seishirou shoved aside the hurt feeling that was starting to present itself. Fine, if Subaru wanted to keep trying to make him jealous, that was his right.
I'm just going to go to bed.
****
Author's Note: It's almost enough to make you feel sorry for poor Sei-chan, isn't it . . . well, not really. I mean, don't get me wrong, I really like Seishirou. He's also a complete and total bastard and deserves exactly what he's getting.
"Where were you last night?" Seishirou asked the next evening when he got home from work and found Subaru lounging on the sofa in biker shorts and a huge sweatshirt. The sweatshirt was long enough to almost make it look like Subaru wasn't wearing anything for pants at all. It certainly prevented Seishirou from seeing anything he might be interested in.
"Johnny's," Subaru said.
"Why didn't you call?"
"Because I didn't figure you cared."
Seishirou cursed inwardly. Subaru had him there. "Well, for future reference, call if you aren't going to be home. I thought something might have happened."
"Hm," Subaru said, totally noncommittal.
"Did you have a good time?" Seishirou couldn't help asking, wondering if he could manage to needle Subaru about it without Subaru needling back.
"Oh, very much so," Subaru said. "Johnny's a very . . . interesting person."
"That much I could tell," Seishirou said dryly.
****
Hm, I wonder . . . Subaru could hear Seishirou shuffling around in the bedroom. Johnny would be proud of me for thinking of this on my own, he thought with a grin. He finished rinsing the shampoo out of his hair, then lifted his foot and stomped down hard in the tub, producing a satisfying thud.
Then he continued to soap himself and wait.
He didn't have to wait long. Seishirou's shuffling paused, started again, then stopped. There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Subaru-kun?"
Subaru didn't answer, smirking.
"Subaru-kun, are you all right in there?"
There was a long moment of silence.
Seishirou opened the bathroom door and peered in. "Subaru-kun?"
"Nani?" Subaru peeked out from around the shower stall door. It was the clear kind, but steamed up, so it allowed Seishirou to see a perfect silhouette of Subaru's body but nothing else. Seishirou stopped dead in his tracks. Subaru absently pushed his sopping hair out of his face. "Did you need something, Seishirou-san?"
"Yes," Seishirou said firmly, fumbling around on the counter and grabbing the first thing that came to hand.
"Oh, and here I thought you were worried about me." Subaru pouted, leaning out a little further, enough for one shoulder to show.
Seishirou kept hold of himself quite nicely, all things considered. "Yes, well, dead bodies in my bathtub are such a nuisance." With that, he quickly escaped the bathroom. And the bedroom. And the apartment altogether, simply leaving a note that said, "Errands to run. Be back later."
****
Author's Note: Um… of all things, spoilers for The Princess Bride. If you've never seen it, I hope you don't mind if I give something away. It's in the first five minutes of the movie, so, uhm, deal with it.
Subaru decided, once he'd gotten out of the shower and dressed, that it was time for the movie. Johnny had given him some additional tips (not to mention helped him find another batch of clothing). Subaru flopped on the couch and waited for Seishirou to come home.
It wasn't long before he did; he had obviously only left in order to collect himself. "Tadaima, Subaru-kun," he said, sounding somewhat nervous about what the Sumeragi might decide to do next.
"Okaeri," Subaru merely called over from the sofa. Then he got up and walked into the kitchen, where Seishirou had sat down with a mug of tea. "You left in an awful hurry."
"I found myself out of cigarettes," Seishirou said dryly.
"And your nerves needed calming?" Subaru asked with a smirk.
Damn it, Seishirou was never going to stop regretting letting that slip the first day. "You might put it that way." He looked up at Subaru and nearly sighed at what he was wearing now. He'd apparently gotten tired of tight pants and loose shirts, and reversed it. His pants were simple black dress pants. His shirt, which looked like it was painted on, was a simple cotton knit. It was dark green and matched Subaru's expressive eyes perfectly. It also cut rather low, revealing just a little of Subaru's collar bone. "I like your shirt, Subaru-kun." If Subaru was going to needle him with clothes, Seishirou was going to needle right back.
The ongoing battle between the two of them was almost enjoyable, Seishirou mused. He had to admit that he was enjoying Subaru's attentions. The only problem was that Subaru kept stopping before it got anywhere, leaving Seishirou supremely frustrated.
"Arigatou, Seishirou-san." Subaru smiled and leaned over, draping his arms loosely over Seishirou's shoulders. He put his mouth very close to Seishirou's ear and whispered, "I'm going to watch a movie." He didn't ask if Seishirou wanted to join him. He just breathed out a little, brushing his lips over the top of Seishirou's ear, then, amazing himself with his own bravery, flicked his tongue over it. Then he pulled away.
Seishirou stared at him. Did he just lick my ear? Subaru-kun . . . you astonish me. He watched as Subaru made his way across the room and flopped down onto the sofa.
Okay, that was an invitation, Seishirou decided. He pushed back from the table and walked over to where Subaru was sprawled artistically across the couch. "Subaru-kun, you didn't leave any room for me," he said, voice amused. "What if I want to lie down?"
"Oh, sorry," Subaru said, sitting up. Seishirou gracefully lay down on the sofa, taking up all the space except for the small portion on which Subaru was sitting, and grinned, waiting to see what Subaru would do. "That's hardly fair," Subaru told him.
"I never claimed it was."
Subaru smiled and started the movie.
"It's in English," Seishirou said.
"I know. Johnny suggested it. I figured both our English was good enough to try it."
Seishirou tried not to get insulted at the mention of Johnny and focused on the movie. It was, as far as he could tell, pure sap. Sap wasn't to his liking. It improved remarkably after the first five minutes when they killed the love interest off.
Just as he was starting to get interested, and thus was totally distracted, Subaru lay down, on his side, on top of Seishirou. His head rested on Seishirou's shoulder.
It was all Seishirou could do to not sit up in surprise. As it was, he managed to stay lying still. No point in letting Subaru know that he was surprised. He decided to keep watching the movie.
He kept this resolve up for about five minutes. Subaru was breathing right into his ear, which made him a little nervous, mostly about whether or not Subaru would try anything else. Subaru's arm was draped over his waist. About twenty minutes into the movie, his fingers started to trace their way up Seishirou's side.
Okay, this is no longer funny, Seishirou decided, trying to keep his nerves from jumping to attention. Subaru's fingers moved slowly across his chest, then down to draw patterns on his stomach.
Seishirou stole a glance over at Subaru and realized something astonishing: the Sumeragi was entirely engrossed in the movie. He honestly wasn't doing it to torture him.
Well, that was a refreshing change, but it certainly didn't help the situation.
Seishirou decided to put a stop to it as gently as possible. He reached up with one hand and twined his fingers through Subaru's, effectively stopping their movement.
Subaru blinked, his face turning red as he realized what he'd been doing. He didn't say anything about it, however, simply closed his eyes and relaxed, feeling more comfortable in Seishirou's arms than he would have thought possible.
Seishirou looked at his face and decided it was time for a little payback.
He cautiously moved his other arm so it was behind Subaru, then put his hand on the small of Subaru's back. Subaru tensed immediately, so Seishirou remained still until Subaru had relaxed again. Then he began to run his fingers up and down Subaru's back. Subaru let out a tiny little gasp, muffled in Seishirou's shoulder. Seishirou smiled and traced patterns on Subaru's back, running his fingers over his shoulder blades, going up to play with the tiny hairs on the back of Subaru's neck. Subaru's fingers tightened on Seishirou's for a moment, then he relaxed again.
Well, that was no fun if he was going to get used to it. Seishirou stopped the movement of his fingers, wrapping his arm around Subaru's waist in a gentle but still possessive gesture. Subaru sighed contentedly into his shoulder.
This . . . Seishirou thought, trying to stop the thought but unable to, is this happiness? Could it be like this . . . always?
For the first time in his life, Seishirou didn't feel alone.
It was the first moment in his life that he actually felt at peace.
"Seishirou-san . . ." Subaru's voice, amused, very close to his ear.
"Hmm?" Seishirou opened his eyes, wondering what Subaru wanted to tell him.
"The movie's over."
"It is?" Seishirou blinked. "I mean, it is. Of course it is." Did I fall asleep?
"Did you like it?" Subaru asked, not making any move to pull out of Seishirou's embrace. Then he smirked. "Did you see any of it?"
"Did you?" Seishirou replied, admitting nothing, denying nothing.
"I saw the last half after you fell asleep . . ." Subaru answered, a ghost of a smile on his face.
Damn it. I did fall asleep. It was no wonder, really; he hadn't been sleeping that well at night. The tension was really starting to wear on him. He had tried visiting a Soapland, but if anything, that had made it worse. Before that, he'd been able to deny that he'd wanted anything that badly from Subaru, afterwards it was impossible.
And now here he was lying on the couch with Subaru in his arms.
It would be so easy . . .
But he couldn't allow it.
He realized that he was sitting there staring at Subaru, who was probably waiting for a reply of some sort. Not that it mattered; Subaru couldn't see his eyes, after all. But . . .
Subaru was taking his sunglasses off.
Seishirou was too surprised to stop him as Subaru reached up with one delicate hand and tugged the glasses off Seishirou's face. For the first time in months, they stared at each other, eye to eye. Subaru stared into him, looking for something. And Seishirou could see the depths of Subaru's emotion in those green eyes, all the love and pain twined together.
"I wish you wouldn't wear these all the time," Subaru finally whispered.
Seishirou searched through his entire vocabulary for something to say, but Subaru's face so close to his was making it impossible to think. "Okay," he eventually came up with.
Subaru smiled and ran his fingers gently through Seishirou's hair. "Arigatou, Seishirou-san."
Then he stood up and walked away.
Seishirou watched him go. He was somewhat concerned to find that his hands were shaking.
****
"What's lesson two?"
"Fruit."
"Fruit?"
"Yeah, fruit. Pick something sort of juicy. Strawberries are best, but sections of oranges work too."
"Okay . . ." Subaru still looked bewildered.
"Bite part of it off sort of slowly, keeping your lips wrapped around it. Then take another bite and lick your lips off. Then ask him if he wants some, and make it unclear as to whether you mean the fruit or your lips."
"How do you make that unclear? I mean, I'm either holding the fruit out to him or sticking my face at him."
"Don't do either. Hold the fruit like you're going to take another bite, then turn and ask if he wants some. Don't move your head."
"Oh. Okay."
"See how it becomes a bit confusing?"
"Yes."
****
When Seishirou came home the next day, Subaru was leaning against the kitchen counter with a glass of iced tea and a carton of strawberries. It looked innocuous enough, except for what Subaru was wearing. Seishirou was almost getting used to the Sumeragi's outfits. The tight mesh shirt with the loose black jeans took him off guard, though. He was wearing a tight black tank top under the mesh shirt.
Seishirou simply shook his head and went to make himself some tea. He had spent most of the day at work thinking about what had happened the night before. It was maddening to realize that now he wanted Subaru in two ways: the obvious way, and also because he made the loneliness go away.
But it was still just wanting, he tried to convince himself.
"What did you want for dinner?" Subaru asked.
Seishirou looked over at him in time to see the first strawberry disappear into Subaru's mouth. "I don't know, anything's fine." He watched as Subaru lifted another strawberry to his lips. "Or did you want me to cook?" he asked absently, watching Subaru close his lips around the fruit.
Subaru finished the strawberry and threw the stem into the lid of the carton. "I'll cook," he said with a smile, reaching for another strawberry. He took a bite of it and licked off his lips. "Do you want some?" he asked innocently, not extending the fruit.
This is ridiculous, Seishirou decided.
He didn't even bother to say yes. He simply walked the three steps across the kitchen, put his arm around Subaru's waist, and kissed him.
Subaru trembled in his grasp, but his arms went up to wrap around Seishirou's neck and he dropped the strawberry. His lips parted a tiny bit, then a little more as he tentatively tried to return the kiss. Seishirou ran his hand up Subaru's back, pulling him closer. Subaru's hand clenched on a fistful of Seishirou's shirt as the older man pinned him against the counter.
Then he reached up with one hand and pushed Seishirou away.
They separated, both of them more than a little out of breath.
"No," Subaru finally managed to say, voice ragged. "Not unless you love me."
That's not fair! Seishirou's brain screamed. His instincts took over and he kissed Subaru again, more forcefully this time. Then he jerked away as he felt something very cold and damp on the back of his neck.
Subaru had slid an ice cube down the back of his shirt.
Seishirou cursed and shook his shirt until the ice cube fell out and clattered on the floor. Subaru must have fished it out of his iced tea.
"I said, not unless you love me." Subaru's voice was cold.
It wasn't fair. He could tell that Subaru wanted it as badly as he did. The way his body had tensed in Seishirou's grip, the way he had trembled and clutched at Seishirou's shirt. So why not?
Subaru looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he turned and walked away. Seishirou listened to his footsteps as he walked into the bathroom, shut the door, and turned on the water.
Escape tactic, his brain supplied for him, and he wished he had thought of it first.
