Eheh... here's where the angst comes in, everyone... ::slight grin:: No killing me, please. And I *know* this part is really short, but it's all I could manage for this time. And the cliffhanger is awful.

Subaru couldn't sleep.

He didn't know why he couldn't sleep, and this bothered him. Seishirou had certainly dropped off quickly enough. Subaru shivered a little and nestled closer to the warmth that Seishirou next to him provided. Then he rolled over and looked at the older man. His face was perfectly calm and peaceful in sleep. And self-satisfied.

A smile tugged at Subaru's lips.

It had been something, he would admit that . . . almost . . . perfect.

He hadn't really imagined what it would be like, mostly because he hadn't expected it would ever happen. He wasn't a child anymore, but somehow he hadn't realized how, after it had happened, he would be much more reluctant to put the second part of his plan into action.

He shivered again and closed his eyes.

From the beginning, he'd had a plan, and he hadn't told anybody. Not a soul. Not even his sister. He was certain that his overly genki sister wouldn't approve of his plan for revenge.

It's what he did to you that matters.

He hadn't told Johnny, either. He wasn't sure why. He just had a suspicion that Johnny wouldn't like it either. Johnny didn't seem the type that would go for suicide missions, even if it was only emotional suicide.

He had a suspicion that Kakyou had figured it out, if only because in his early visits to the Dreamwalker, he hadn't been terribly discreet. But Kakyou didn't seem to care, and why would he? He hated Seishirou almost as much as Subaru did. Only Kakyou didn't have the problem of being in love with him at the same time.

Subaru opened his eyes and studied Seishirou pensively.

I'm sorry, Subaru-kun. I'm sorry for everything. I love you.

How many times had he wanted to hear those words from Seishirou's lips? He'd risked everything for it. Risked his life, his mind, and his soul.

And pretty much lost two out of the three.

I belong to you, Seishirou-san . . . heart, mind, body, and soul. And there's nothing I can do about it. Because I tried. Oh God, I tried so hard to stop loving you in those two months.

And Seishirou slept on, completely oblivious to the fact that Subaru was still awake and torturing himself.

This won't work, Seishirou-san. How could it? I love you, but I hate you. I can't forgive you for what you did.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, but he didn't fall asleep until almost dawn.

***

The next two days passed in peace while Subaru tried to regain his nerve. Seishirou continued to be completely, blissfully unaware that anything was wrong. After two days, Subaru finally got himself back together and put the last step of his plan into action. First of all, he packed up all his things and moved them back to his own flat while Seishirou was at work. Then all he could think to do was sit on the sofa he'd slept on for so long and stare at the floor.

He was thinking of Hokuto.

Not so much of Hokuto, but of how things had been.

His fists clenched in anger, thin fingers digging into his palms. He had been happy. And innocent. So innocent.

You had no right to take that from me, Seishirou-san. No matter how much you wanted to feel. You won your little ploy to learn how to feel. I'm the one who got screwed. I lost everything.

The door opened. "Tadaima, Subaru-kun," Seishirou called out. He was in an exceedingly good mood. He noticed right away that Subaru's things were no longer there. This didn't alarm him offhand, however. Just the day before the two of them had been discussing moving them into the bedroom, and Seishirou assumed that Subaru had done so.

His first cue that something was wrong was when Subaru didn't answer him. He frowned, toeing off his shoes and hanging up his coat next to the Sumeragi's. He glanced into the kitchen as he walked past it; but it was dark and empty. There was nothing cooked. Frowning even more, he went into the living room. Subaru was sitting on the sofa with his elbows on his knees, and his chin resting in his hands.

"Konban wa," Seishirou said uncertainly. "Is something wrong, Subaru-kun?"

"This," Subaru said, glancing up at Seishirou. "This is wrong."

Seishirou blinked at him. "What's 'this'?"

"Seishirou, don't be stupid."

Seishirou continued to blink, taken aback both by the sharpness in Subaru's voice, and the lack of honorific. "I must admit I'm confused." He looked around the empty room. "You moved your things."

"Yes."

"Where to, may I ask?" Seishirou was damned if this was going to let this throw him off kilter. If Subaru was going to get in a funk, fine. Seishirou would just yank him out of it. He'd done it before.

"Back to my apartment."

"And why did you do that?"

Subaru finally looked at him, then stood and faced him. His voice was perfectly neutral, and his eyes blank, shielding what he was feeling. "Seishirou-san, you didn't honestly think I was going to stay here once I'd won, did you?"

Seishirou felt his blood run cold as he started to put the pieces together. He forced himself to look unconcerned. "You were certainly behaving as if you were going to."

Subaru smiled pleasantly. "But Seishirou-san, like you, I'm a very good liar."

Seishirou took this opportunity to turn the conversation back on the younger man. "So you aren't leaving?"

Subaru glared, flustered. "That's not what I meant."

"Then explain what you mean, Subaru-kun."

Subaru stared at him for a second, as if steeling his nerves. "Let's set the record straight, shall we?" he asked. "You came to a sixteen year old boy with every intention of killing him, made him believe you loved him, even worse, made him fall in love with you. At which point you revealed to him that you didn't love him, and walked out of his life. After killing his twin sister."

Seishirou shifted uncomfortably, but there was no point in denying it. "Yes. That's all true."

"And yet, for some reason, when the same sixteen year old boy came back to you and declared he still loved you and wanted to make things right between the two of you, you believed him."

Seishirou was starting to get very nervous. "Also true."

"That really was stupid of you, Seishirou-san." Subaru continued to keep his face blank. "How could you possibly think I could still love you after what you did to me? You didn't just break my heart, you broke my soul, you destroyed every chance I ever had at being happy. It wasn't as if I could just move on, either. Every time I looked at someone, I saw your face. Every time someone spoke to me, I heard your voice. I don't love you, Seishirou-san, and that's because I'm not capable of if anymore."

Seishirou's head was spinning from these statements. He wanted to get angry, but wasn't doing a very good job at it. "Then what the hell was all this?" he demanded.

Subaru regarded him quietly. "This was my revenge, Seishirou-san. What else? If you could make me love you, and make me believe that you loved me, why shouldn't I have done it to you? A simple plan, maybe, but an effective one." He walked up to Seishirou, standing very close to him. "How many people do you think you've hurt over the course of your lifetime, Sakurazukamori? Hundreds? A thousand, maybe? I don't pretend to be more or less important than any of them. But nobody else has ever fought back against you before, because everyone else was afraid."

He turned away. "I'm not afraid of you, Seishirou-san . . . and I decided it was high time somebody showed you what it was like to feel pain."

Seishirou could only stare at him.

There was nothing he could say.

He watched as Subaru walked over to the door and pulled on his coat and shoes. Then he kicked his brain back into gear as Subaru started to leave, walking over to him and grabbing his arm. "It was all a lie?"

Subaru looked up at him. "I did love you once, Seishirou-san. But not after you betrayed me. Not ever again. So yes, it was all a lie."

Seishirou couldn't even think. "You cold, calculating, manipulative bastard," he said, staring at Subaru.

Subaru shook his arm off. "I learned from the best, Seishirou-san."

And he turned and walked out the door.

****

Okay, so it was short and left off in a terrible place. The more I here about it, the faster I'll get the next part out. I promise.