Chapter 17

AN: due to the fact that my internet sux you will get a multitude of chapters all at once don't you feel lucky.  I hate my internet.

"X-5452!" Max struggled with consciousness.  Her head ached and she could smell her own dried blood.  The last thing on earth she wanted to do was to open her eyes but as a hand bit her cheek hard enough to spin her head, she knew keeping her eyes closed wasn't going to be an option.

"Sir." She yelped out an affirmative and tried to jump to her feet only to find she was strapped down.  Looking around the room her fears grew, she knew where she was and Max had a sinking feeling she knew why.

"Convincing.  It really was.  If I didn't know of your actions in Seattle I might believe you." Lydecker barked sarcastically, and meeting her cheek with his fist one more time he suppressed a chuckle.  Max didn't pretend not to know what he was referring to; it would only make things worse in the long run.  She didn't try to explain herself either; it would do no good.  Instead she chose to keep the contempt under the surface and try to keep her face straight.

"Shacking up with your target isn't generally smiled upon." The way in which he said it suggested ludeness.  It suggested that Logan and Max had done more then they had, for reasons other then they were.  Max couldn't hide her reaction to his unvoiced suggestion and as Lydecker struck her face again Max marveled at her inability, and lack of want, to hide her feelings.  Suddenly she didn't want those metaphorical walls anymore.

Instead Max wanted very much to let Lydecker know every time he'd hurt her or her siblings, she wanted to tell him his little soldiers might march in a straight line, take out their targets, and say the right things but he'd never be able to control how they felt, and one day that was going to come back at him and destroy everything he'd worked for.

Finding that Lydecker would ignore her comments and mock her feelings, she decided to go with a much less subtle approach to voice her absolute hatred of the man.

Max spit in his face, earning herself first a look of absolute shock and then the worst beating of her life.

Upon waking up in solitary confinement a few hours later however, Max realized that the moment of absolute shock written so clearly on Lydecker's face would be worth every broken bone, punctured lung, and bruise on her sore and broken body.  Smiling smugly, she mercifully let unconsciousness claim her once more.

Logan opened his eyes to the steady beat of a heart monitor.

"You're awake." A friendly voice made him turn his head.

"Asha?…Where's Max?" he registered the two facts simultaneously.

"Max who?" He'd forgotten that the two had never been introduced.  And why should they have been?  Max had only been in his life for five days, it wasn't like he checked in with Asha that often.  It just seemed like Max had been part of his life for longer then that.

"Look, I came over to deliver some news and I found you on the floor bleeding to death.  Whoever this Max is, he was long gone before I showed up." Asha remarked.

"She." Logan corrected absentmindedly. 

"Right." Asha added confused that he could be so focused on this mysterious person and not on the fact that he'd been shot and was now in the hospital.

"So when can I get out of here?" Logan asked.  The drugs must have been still affecting him, he couldn't feel anything lower then his waist.

"I don't know…um the doctor said he'd be by later but I can go get someone if you want." Asha offered with a look of pity.  She was hiding something from him and Logan didn't like it, coupled with the fact that he couldn't feel his legs and she kept giving him pitying looks did nothing to ease his discomfort.

"What is it Asha?" he demanded.

"I'll be back." She said retreating toward the door.

"Asha…" he called to her but she was already gone.  His mind quickly disregarded Asha and her concern as it picked up instead Max's disappearance.

Max wouldn't have just left him to die unless that was originally the plan.  Logan couldn't believe however that that was the original plan.  Not after everything that had happened between the two of them.  It just didn't fit.

Sam walked in interrupting his thoughts however.

"How you feeling?" Sam asked.

"Been better.  How soon can I get up on my feet again?" Logan asked.  He noticed then that Asha hadn't come back in with the doctor.

"Logan the bullet did some serious damage to your spinal cord.  You will probably never be able to get on your feet again.  I'm sorry.  I have someone I want you to meet though. He'll help you with your physical therapy and…" Logan lost track of his doctor's words as he tried to wrap his mind around this new complication.

Of course he'd be able to walk again it would just take time.  He had to. Max needed him to.  So he'd just have to deal with this minor inconvenience for the time and then when he was walking again he'd look back and laugh at Sam's grim prediction.

In the dark corners of her cell, Max looked back on her trip to the outside but found that her mind kept wandering to Logan.  She had to stop thinking about him or she'd go insane.

He was dead.  Max was almost certain of that.  No amount of money could save him if no one found him in time.  And Max didn't think there was anyone to find him.

Wiping away a silent tear she recalled his words.  It was okay.  It would be all right.  Max wished she could believe his words.  But she knew better then to hope for the impossible.

For a while he'd been her whole world and it had been enough.  And in a brief instant it was all gone again.  Maybe she was right.

Maybe she was never meant for love.

The disappointment hit her hard.  Max had wanted to believe Logan's words, wanted to believe that somewhere there was someone for her, that maybe, just maybe Logan had been that someone.  If he was then fate wasn't kind.  If he was then she was right, she was never meant to love.  Only to lose.

Logan looked over the notes again.  Still in the hospital, he'd gotten in contact with Matt Sung, one of his contacts on the police force, and asked him for information on his shooting. 

There wasn't much, just a few facts.  The bullet was fired from the building across the street.  There was a broken lamp, an empty syringe, and a missing girl.  The syringe had traces of some sedative in it and a DNA analysis had been run on the blood left on the needle.  They hadn't been able to match the DNA with anyone with a criminal past. 

Logan remembered a file he had from his parent's murder.  He'd had the piece of lamp that had cut Max's forehead analyzed as soon as he could in his quest to find his parent's murders. 

To confirm what he'd already guessed, he compared the two analyses to find that they matched.

It did a lot to alleviate his fears but it also created more.  So Max had been taken against her will and had not deliberately left him to die. Yeah that would be comforting, if she hadn't been taken against her will.  Logan was almost certain it was Manticore.  There was really no one else who would want her.  She'd done a good job at trying for normal.  Hadn't made any enemies worth mentioning, and she hadn't had any reason to run from anyone except Manticore. 
            On a different note, he was going home the next day.  He'd been working with Bling his physical therapist now for about a month.  It was slow going but Logan was still determined to get up on his feet.  Bling would help him get there.  Besides it would be nice to have someone to help him around until he got the hang of things.

Well at least until he got back on his feet.

The days were a mix, blurred together in one excruciating test of wills.  Max couldn't give up but she found that she couldn't keep fighting forever either.  Her body simply wouldn't allow it.

Zack and Tinga had been brought in to watch, just like old times.  Lydecker seemed concerned that the others might have gotten some ideas from her stint outside.  Max tried not to squirm too much when the others were there.  Zack had enough on his plate, he didn't need to see her in pain, and so for his sake she tried to hide it.

They wanted Eyes Only.  But what they didn't know was that they had Eyes Only.  Max didn't tell them what they wanted to hear.  She refused to tell them anything.

But as the days passed and the Eyes Only broadcasts never came, Max knew her fears had been confirmed.  He was dead.  He had to be. 

And as the pain increased, the drugs increased, and her reality faded in and out, not telling became harder and harder.  Max lost hold on everything. 

Her dreams became her reality and she couldn't tell the difference between a nurse giving her drugs, Logan kissing her cheek, and even Zack visiting. 

In the end, in the test of wills, Lydecker won.  He always did.

It was during an incredibly lucid moment when the pain was too much.  Lydecker had been yelling about how there was no reason to hide his identity.  Her great love was dead.  Her friends would get on fine without her.  And she was needed here.

Damn, it felt nice to be needed.

It had only taken them two months to completely turn her.