Chapter 19

AN: yeah this story is really very predictable.  But it isn't line for line pilot now…Is it? Yeah your saying no now you've jumped to Designate This.  Well live with it or stop reading. I've managed to give you x-5's haven't I without distracting from my Max and Logan shipperness?  I've tried to give you enough character development.  I've tried to mix the angst and the romance and I am failing miserably on the action but hey I'm working on it.  I still haven't given you years but that's cause I don't plan on it….hehehe I'm not good with numbers and I like leaving that up to you to figure out.  Originally I planned on bringing in more x-5's but I didn't know their characters well enough to write them and I didn't want to change them into different people because that wasn't my plan.  I guess you could say I'm a believer in fate to the extent that I think the characters would be the same regardless of what universe they lived in.  Therefore I didn't want to create a Brin that was untrue to Cameron's Brin etc. and I didn't want to create my own x-5's because I wanted to stick to character's introduced in the show. Zack is a little more sensitive then I meant him to be but that's cause I felt bad for him always getting the short end of the stick and he needed to be a little soft to understand the desires of his sibs.

"Who was she?" Zack turned to look at the soldier sitting beside him.  452, at one time she would have shuddered had he addressed her like that but now she would have it no other way.  He wondered if Max was really in there somewhere, and if she insisted on 452 to punish herself, Zack didn't find it likely.  Max wouldn't ask what 452 had.  Max would know or at least pretend to know.

Looking at the innocent and sincere expression on her face, Zack judged that she honestly wanted to know.  Walking back from the edge of the roof they were currently monitoring Eyes Only from, he gestured for Max to follow him.  Obediently she followed him to the opposite edge.

"She loved it here." Zack gestured to the sleeping city of Seattle.  "She had a job, friends, she managed to start a life out here." 452 scoffed at his words.

"She was a fool.  She couldn't believe it would last.  She couldn't have wanted to live out here in this filth and degradation." 452 half asked and half informed.

"To her it wasn't like that.  Max was always too emotional to make the perfect soldier Lydecker wanted.  But to her credit she tried hard.  If she hadn't run into him, she would have been fine." Zack continued gesturing toward the building behind them.  452 walked to the other edge of the roof, quietly locating the man Zack had been referring to.

He looked so innocent sitting at the window in his wheelchair, scribbling something in what appeared to be his journal.  From there it was hard to believe he was the evil cyber-journalist that threatened the very existence of Manticore.

"She loved him didn't she?" 452 asked out of nowhere.  Zack had come up behind her to follow her eyes down to the man she was supposed to kill.

"I don't know.  I think she did.  Even if she did Max wouldn't recognize it.  Max never could easily define her feelings; maybe that's why she always failed.  It caused her to hesitate, it caused her to forget things, and grow careless."  452 hadn't broken her hardened gaze on the man.  A part of her thought she'd recognize him, she guessed a part of her wanted to remember him but his face didn't ring any bells.  It matched the black and white images but it didn't bring back any memories.  For all she knew she'd only seen this man in pictures.

A part of her expected feelings but she guessed that feelings were a thing of the past.  She hadn't cared much for anything.  452 guessed it had something to do with her new training and all the drugs they had her on.

Still something stirred down deep that caused her to ask Zack about Max.  And sitting up here she could see why Max had loved it out here, not that it was something she'd like to wake up to everyday.  Part of her could sympathize with the traitor she used to be. And that scared 452, she had to finish this and get back to Manticore quickly.

"Do you remember anything?" Zack asked.

"No." 452 answered quickly. "Come on lets get this over with."

452 slipped down the rope that had been thrown through Eyes Only's skylight, followed by a nervous Zack.  Catlike she stalked out of the room, pausing in front of a statue that seemed familiar, brushing off her déjà vu she continued on, only to pause again in front of chessboard.

"You play chess too?  Is there anything they didn't teach you?"

"Yeah we aren't good losers.  So be prepared to lose horribly."

452 cleared her mind of the flashback.  Max seemed to be riding close to the surface tonight; she had better hurry and get out of here.  Turning away from the chessboard her eyes caught a computer set up.

"What time do you need me?"

"Ten."

425 blinked back more memories.  And finally made it to where Eyes Only was sitting.

Zack noticed Max's hesitation and crossed his fingers, maybe he wouldn't have to interfere with things after all.

Logan heard someone behind him but ignored it thinking it was Bling.  Lately he'd been thinking a lot about Max and how she'd broken into his life.  Things hadn't been easy since she left.  And harder yet upon arriving home.

He'd thought that this condition was temporary but it was looking more and more permanent.  He hated depending on people to do something as simple as leave his apartment.  He was getting better at living in the chair but it was nowhere near as easy or convenient.

Letting his mind drift back to Max he closed his eyes.  He wondered if his new condition would bother her and if she'd run from him because of it.  He wasn't the man he used to be but it was only temporary, once Max came back they could work things out and everything would be ok again, because it had to be.

"I believe in some aspects of it I guess.  I believe that you create your own fate but that certain things are going to happen along the way no matter what you make of your life.  People for example.  Some people will always find their way in.  Call me a romantic but love is one of those constants.  The person you love will always find you.  I guess I'd like to think that two people could be made for each other and that those people are destine to fall in love.  How they make their relationship work is up to them, but fate will always give them the opportunity."

"I was made, not for love but for bringing death.  If what you say is true then there will never be anyone out there for me because I was manufactured.  Manticore didn't manufacture love interests for its GI Joes.  I guess a part of me wants to believe that there is someone out there for me but I know better then to expect it."

425 pulled her gun out and aimed at the back of his head but her arms wavered.  Max was quickly creeping back in with all of her flashbacks.  It was now or never.

Hearing the click of a gun, Logan's eyes shot open and caught a familiar reflection in the glass.  Spinning around quickly he couldn't stop the smile from lighting up his face only to find it fade quickly when he saw her.

It wasn't her.  She was standing in front of him pointing a gun at his head but it wasn't her.  Her eyes were empty and they didn't get lost in his or beckon him to join her dark pools.

"Max?" he questioned noticing her wavering.

"Don't call me that!"  She said standing firmer.

"Max." he softened.

"I said don't call me that.  I don't know you and I don't know Max!" she fought back as the gun started to slip and his eyes started to search her soul.

Zack grabbed the statue she had paused in front of earlier in case he needed to stop her.

"Max." Logan reaffirmed one more time.

Slipping to the floor 452 fought back tears.  In confusion she let the gun fall to the floor.  Feelings started to overwhelm her.  Feelings so familiar and yet so distant.  She had to get control of herself. 

"Max." Logan offered as he started toward her cautiously.  452 grabbed the gun quickly and pointed it up at him.

"Stay back.  I'm going to end this once and for all.  I am not Max.  She isn't me.  She was a fool.  She was a failure."

"You're amazing Max."

"Stop!" she screamed to herself and slumped to the floor again.

"Do you believe in fate?… Do you believe in fate? … Do you believe in fate? "

            "What's wrong with her?" Logan demanded of Zack.

            "She's been reindoctrinated. She doesn't remember her life as Max but judging from all this I think its coming back fast." Zack answered.

            "She's fighting it." Logan stated partially awed that she wouldn't want to remember. "Max." he tried again.

            "Leave me alone!" she ordered grabbing the gun once more and rising to her feet. "I should have done this a long time ago." The gun clicked and Zack jumped to action. 452 hit the ground hard, the statue of Bast following her down.

            "Help me get her off the floor." Logan ordered.   Zack was quick to pick his sister up and follow Logan to a room at the end of the hall where he placed the unconscious soldier on a bed.  When the two had sat in silence for a good two minutes, Logan finally turned to Zack.

            "You gonna kill me too?" Logan asked.

            "No. I was ordered to but I have the feeling you could help me more alive." Zack answered.

            "Logan. You?" Logan questioned.

            "I know. Zack."  Logan shrugged his shoulders to try and remove the stress but found it unproductive.  Zack, taking the hint that Logan wanted to be alone with Max, turned to leave.

            "If she tries to kill you again just call." Zack offered.

            "Gee thanks."

            "If it's any consolation, it wasn't really Max." Logan only nodded as Zack retreated.