Disclaimer: If Star Trek: Voyager belonged to me, things would be different.

A/N: This is my second posted V'ger fic…hope you enjoy it more than the last little poem thing I posted…ah well…we must dare to suck if we are to be good. Warning: very J/C.  Anyway, here is

Intoxicated Meanderings

            It really wasn't his fault.  Honest.  All he did was try to get her to sickbay.  Really-that was it.  So why was everyone staring at him like that?  Just because the Captain got drunk and he, being a good First Officer, tried to help her to sickbay doesn't mean that he was actually responsible for…

            Okay, so the Captain had been ordered to have a couple of days off.  Big deal.  So had he.  It was because the doctor figured that they needed to get some rest because of this whole problem with the Xemroem being more stubborn than it was worth.  It wasn't his fault that she had decided to spend some of that time relaxing with a good stiff drink.  He may have suggested the idea but he certainly didn't force her to do anything.  And besides-he had been thinking of reading that book of poetry that the Captain had given him while relaxing to some music, in his quarters, mind.

            So how did he actually come to be in the Captain's quarters?  He wasn't quite sure.  That part of the night was a bit of a blur.  He could remember the Captain calling him at some point, asking him to come over to her quarters for a bit, but he didn't remember actually going.  Or what he did while was there either.  Honest.  It wasn't as if the two of them were having some sort of an old fashioned "boozefest" or anything like that…really.  And besides…he hadn't actually consumed that much.  Just one or two shots of tequila before he was going back to his quarters and get back to reading that poetry.   Okay, and maybe a little bit of that Scotch-like substance that the Captain had somehow managed to acquire a while back.  And some vodka.  With some fruit juice in.

            But there really was no cause for concern!  The Captain and him managed to hold their liquor, for a while anyway.  Long enough to get talking at any rate.  He really didn't remember what they had been talking about, that was for sure.  Or why they were both sitting upside down on the couch, although he suspected that had to do with a discussion of space and how it really didn't matter which way they were facing, because everyway was up no matter what because space was three dimensional.  He know that there was a lot of giggling involved at that point too.

            How many bottles were found?  Is that a positive number?  He didn't remember drinking that much!  He's not a heavy drinker though!  He gets really sick if he drinks all that much, and…Okay, so maybe he had a bit more than he thought at first.  That still doesn't mean that he was responsible for…

            When did he realize that the Captain needed to go to sickbay?  Right around the time she burst into tears and started lamenting the fact that he and she had never…okay, forget that…Really, forget it.  That's an order.

            Time around that point seemed to stretch and slow down.  Or disappear out right.  He thought they might have…maybe they…or…no, they didn't do that.  Even drunk he and the Captain would never do that…or would they?  He would never do that to Kath…

            Why were the lights so bright?  Sickbay lights should never be this bright…why hadn't the doctor given him anything to get rid of the bright lights in his head?  TUUUUUVOOOOOK…TUUUUUVOOOOOK is such a funny name, isn't it?  But TUUUUUVOOOOOK would never do anything like this.  He's too much of an insufferable bas…why is everyone staring at him like that?  It hadn't been his idea to do that to the …to the…to the thingy over on that deck with the bright lights and the beeping walls and the…where was Kathryn?  Kathryn would know what he was talking about…it had been her idea, after all.  What had they done with Kathryn?  Where is she?  KATHRYN!

            Calm, calm, he was calm.  After all, one needs to be calm in order to find the one that one love…no, no, no, no, forget that.  He couldn't say that.  Not in front of TUUUUUVOOOOOK.  Or the doctor or that charming young man over there that was wearing a sed ruit and srinning gumgly.  Gmugly's not a word!  Who used the word "gumgly"?  And where was his Kathryn?  Captain Kathryn…that almost rhymes!  Captain Kathryn, Captain Kathryn…He needs a drink.  Of course he needs a drink.  DON'T TELL HIM WHAT HE NEEDS!  HE'S THE FIRST OFFICER FOR THE LOVE OF THE SPIRITS!

            Where had they found him?  Standing on his head babbling about space to Neelix in the mess hall?  But how had he gotten there?  He certainly didn't remember that…or what had happened to Kathryn…What had happened to Kathryn?  Did they know where his Kathryn had gone?  He had been taking her to sickbay but he…something was wrong…where's Kathryn?  What had they done to her, the Cardassian scum?  They'll never get anything from her-she's innocent!  Torture him instead just don't hurt his precious Kathryn!  He'd tell them everything they ever wanted to know about…about…what ever it is they wanted to know about…

            No, he didn't want a sedative; he wanted to find his Kathryn.  He wanted to look…maybe she was wondering the halls looking for him…No!  That's not true!  She couldn't have been cured already!  Cured of what?  But he wasn't drunk, he was intoxicated…intoxicated by Kathryn…and maybe the alcohol had something to do with it too, but it was mostly Kathryn.  That much he was sure of.  Where was she standing?  Why couldn't he see her?  Why were the lights so bright?  KATHRYN!  WHERE IS SHE?  KATHRYN? Wait, this isn't sickbay!  Where was he?  What have they done to him?  Why were the lights so bright?  They hurt his head.  And why was TUUUUUVOOOOOK asking so many questions that made his head hurt?  It had all been Kathryn's idea, his beautiful Kathryn, so cleaver and smart and resource…resource…full…resourceful, yes resourceful…it had all been her idea, to do whatever it was they were going to do but got sidetracked by Neelix and by going to wherever they were now…where were they, anyway?  The Brig?  Why was he in the Brig?  Smashing a console with his head?  How could he do that?  It would hurt too much…unless he was drunk…why didn't the doctor just give him sedative?  Captain Kathryn said that he had to sleep it off?  But she was the one who got him drunk in the first place.  Why shouldn't she have to sleep it off too?  Because she's the Captain?  But he's the First Officer, so he should get a bunch of the same thingywhatsits that she got…you know, those things that people have…rights!  Yes, rights!  He should have the same rights as her because he's the First Officer…but she's his Kathryn!  How could he want to be equal to such a beautiful creature, a pure example of the Gods' work?  How could he ever be equal to that?  It just isn't possible…

            So long…so long without her…all he wanted was to hold her again, like on New Earth.  Just to hold her, to feel her…why couldn't he do that now?  Why?  Oh yes…the ship…can't harm the ship.  Never harm the ship because the ship was the ship that had to take them back home…he had to help her run the ship, so they could get home…

            He was so tired now…so very tired.  All he wanted was to hold her as he slept…is that too much to ask?  Just hold her…so tired…so, so tired…tell Kathryn that he…tell her he…good night, love…the darkness is coming…so tired…must sleep…Kathryn…

There…how'd you like?  All feedback is welcome…