Title: (Volume 2)
Series: The Tonight Show Starring Brodie Bruce
Fandom: Kevin Smith/View Askewniverse
Author: Orangeblossom (formerly Lagamorph)
Email: rice_al@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Summary: Tonight's guest: Azrael, a young man who claims to be a demon.
Archiving: Ask first, Please
Chapters: 1
Status: Complete
Year Completed: December 2001
Disclaimer: I'm lucky to even live in the same world as Kevin Smith, I sure as hell don't own any of it.
Notes, Dedications & Thanks: Once again, to Steph, who brought me into the Askewniverse.
The following is a partial transcript from the Tonight show.
*FADE IN FROM COMMERCIAL*
Brodie (seated at desk): Man, did we get enough words from our sponsor in that time? *BEEP*, you better watch it guys, we might get some of our SHOW in here. Anyway, we have a (makes air quotes) special guest this evening, the guy claims he's a demon. Right. You know, I used to claim I was a demon in the sack, but Rene got pissed. Right Rene?
Rene: (makes a face at Brodie and leaves the stage)
Brodie: (smiles broadly) You know you love it! Anyway, lets bring this nutcase...er, guest out. Ladies and gentlemen, Azrael!
(APPLAUSE)
(Camera is directed to stage entrance, but no one enters. When it returns, Azrael is sitting on the guest couch, a fedora low over his eyes. Brodie looks somewhat shaken.)
Brodie: Wow, that was pretty cool.
Azrael: Thank you.
Brodie: So, can you give us any proof that you're *actually* a demon?
Azrael: (studies Brodie intently) I *did* just materialize on your couch.
Brodie: Yeah, but that doesn't prove you're a *demon* per se. I mean, half of creatures in comic books that aren't demons can do what you just did.
Azrael: (sighs deeply and removes his hat, exposing a pair of horns)
Brodie: That's it? I had a pair of those for Halloween when I was fourteen.
Azrael: These ones are real.
Brodie: Does that mean you're horny?
Azrael: You're such a child.
Brodie: Compared to you, I suppose. How old are you?
Azrael: Older than you *BEEP* -ing mortals, that's for damned sure.
Brodie: Damned sure? What is that, demon humor?
Azrael: You know, I just may have to kill you. (He makes a gesture and three punks on rollerblades carrying hockey sticks roll onto the stage).
Brodie: Oh, don't take yourself so *BEEP* -ing seriously, man. So, as a demon, what do you do all day?
Azrael: Routine possessions, hauntings, *BEEP* that goes bump in the night, *BEEP* like that. And, of course, serving the Dark Master.
Brodie: Uh...yeah. Ok, so are there any famous people in hell?
Azrael: Oh sure. We got all your major criminal masterminds, your major world leaders with aspirations of world domination, and several people who were responsible for the movie "BioDome."
Brodie: (shudders) Man, that's sick.
Azrael: You haven't seen sick until you've seen the Kaiser get a sponge bath.
Brodie: I'll take your word on that. So, uh, what brings you up to the surface?
Azrael: Oh, you know, tears in the fabric of time and space, republicans to talk to, Adam Sandler movies to push through production, plots to undo all existence to follow up on--you know. Stuff.
Brodie: Well, I'm glad you made time to be here today.
Azrael: Sure. (vanishes)
Brodie: Wow. (notices that the hockey punks are just staring at him) Hey! Man? (shouts) Mister Demon? Hello? You wanna pick up your kids or what? (the hockey punks start coming towards him, sticks raised, looking menacing). Um, ok, lets go to commercial...(starts to run from the hockey punks) Commercial! Now! Now! (runs from the stage)
*FADE TO COMMERCIAL*
Series: The Tonight Show Starring Brodie Bruce
Fandom: Kevin Smith/View Askewniverse
Author: Orangeblossom (formerly Lagamorph)
Email: rice_al@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Summary: Tonight's guest: Azrael, a young man who claims to be a demon.
Archiving: Ask first, Please
Chapters: 1
Status: Complete
Year Completed: December 2001
Disclaimer: I'm lucky to even live in the same world as Kevin Smith, I sure as hell don't own any of it.
Notes, Dedications & Thanks: Once again, to Steph, who brought me into the Askewniverse.
The following is a partial transcript from the Tonight show.
*FADE IN FROM COMMERCIAL*
Brodie (seated at desk): Man, did we get enough words from our sponsor in that time? *BEEP*, you better watch it guys, we might get some of our SHOW in here. Anyway, we have a (makes air quotes) special guest this evening, the guy claims he's a demon. Right. You know, I used to claim I was a demon in the sack, but Rene got pissed. Right Rene?
Rene: (makes a face at Brodie and leaves the stage)
Brodie: (smiles broadly) You know you love it! Anyway, lets bring this nutcase...er, guest out. Ladies and gentlemen, Azrael!
(APPLAUSE)
(Camera is directed to stage entrance, but no one enters. When it returns, Azrael is sitting on the guest couch, a fedora low over his eyes. Brodie looks somewhat shaken.)
Brodie: Wow, that was pretty cool.
Azrael: Thank you.
Brodie: So, can you give us any proof that you're *actually* a demon?
Azrael: (studies Brodie intently) I *did* just materialize on your couch.
Brodie: Yeah, but that doesn't prove you're a *demon* per se. I mean, half of creatures in comic books that aren't demons can do what you just did.
Azrael: (sighs deeply and removes his hat, exposing a pair of horns)
Brodie: That's it? I had a pair of those for Halloween when I was fourteen.
Azrael: These ones are real.
Brodie: Does that mean you're horny?
Azrael: You're such a child.
Brodie: Compared to you, I suppose. How old are you?
Azrael: Older than you *BEEP* -ing mortals, that's for damned sure.
Brodie: Damned sure? What is that, demon humor?
Azrael: You know, I just may have to kill you. (He makes a gesture and three punks on rollerblades carrying hockey sticks roll onto the stage).
Brodie: Oh, don't take yourself so *BEEP* -ing seriously, man. So, as a demon, what do you do all day?
Azrael: Routine possessions, hauntings, *BEEP* that goes bump in the night, *BEEP* like that. And, of course, serving the Dark Master.
Brodie: Uh...yeah. Ok, so are there any famous people in hell?
Azrael: Oh sure. We got all your major criminal masterminds, your major world leaders with aspirations of world domination, and several people who were responsible for the movie "BioDome."
Brodie: (shudders) Man, that's sick.
Azrael: You haven't seen sick until you've seen the Kaiser get a sponge bath.
Brodie: I'll take your word on that. So, uh, what brings you up to the surface?
Azrael: Oh, you know, tears in the fabric of time and space, republicans to talk to, Adam Sandler movies to push through production, plots to undo all existence to follow up on--you know. Stuff.
Brodie: Well, I'm glad you made time to be here today.
Azrael: Sure. (vanishes)
Brodie: Wow. (notices that the hockey punks are just staring at him) Hey! Man? (shouts) Mister Demon? Hello? You wanna pick up your kids or what? (the hockey punks start coming towards him, sticks raised, looking menacing). Um, ok, lets go to commercial...(starts to run from the hockey punks) Commercial! Now! Now! (runs from the stage)
*FADE TO COMMERCIAL*
