Letters to agony aunts from Harry Potter characters, meant to be funny and cause no offence.




Dear Cathy,
I have a big problem. I am secretly in love with my 2 best friends but Harry has a really tiny dick. It is 3" and I don't think I could cope with it so I might pick Ron. His dick is 7" so he would be a lot better. Please help me, who should I choose?
Hermione Granger.




Dear Cathy,
I recently lost my virginity and I suspect I might be preganant but I don't know much about the human anatomy. Please help me, I reall don't know what I should do. My parents are dead and my guardians hate me. What should I do?
Harry Potter.




Dear Cathy,
I think my dick is too big. It is 9" and I am a virgin. Could my dick make me unattractive? Should I chop some off? My brother is the same age but his is only 7". I also have strange urges to do things I'd rather not mention with him. What should I do?
George Weasley.




Dear Cathy,
My breasts are very sore and I have 3 or 4 nipples on each breast. Is this normal or is there something wrong with me? I really want to scratch my breasts to bits but everyone stares if I scratch them but they itch so much. Please help me what should I do?
Ginny Weasley.




Dear Cathster,
My balls are extremely tiny, in fact, they are only 2cm. I think if I tried to have sex I would be laughed at and become unpopular. I have tried masturbating them to make them bigger and I even got my best friend Goyle to suck them for me but they wont grow. What can I do, I really want to have sex with large balls.
Draco malfoy.




Dear Cathy,
I am very miserable because I have a large wart right near my pussy hole. I also have one on my clit and one on each nipple. I fear I may become unattractive and unable to have passionate sex with Severus. What shuld I do?
M. McGonagall.




Dear Cathy,
I am becoming sex crazy. I lost my virginity last week and I really want to have sex again. I am thinking of becoming a prostitute or muggle porn star. I shagging in public OK or should I restrain myself? What can I do? Please help me.
Cho Chang.