Disclaimer: Guess what?! Last week I bought all rights to Harry Potter from JK Rowling. Now I own them and anyone who writes fanfiction is getting sued. Expect my lawyer's documents in the mail.

Now: How many of you believe me?


AN: okay I was requested by concerned family members to up the rating of this to R. I don't want kids reading this because of the cutting, (please don't get the idea that this is a way to solve your problems) but R seems a little stiff to me. I'd like feedback please, so tell me if you think I need to up this rating.

Thanks for all the reviewers…you guys are why I write.

To the reviewer who thought Ginny cutting herself over Harry was melodramatic, thanks for the opinion. Really. But GINNY IS NOT SUICIDAL IN THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's not. She cuts herself. It's NOT the same thing. I don't like girls who commit suicide over guys; I think it's kinda silly. However she's not cutting because of Harry. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Harry will play a part in her frustration but not as much as might originally seem. Look, this will all make more sense a little later on. Just bare with me.

To Mari who thought a Ginny/ Draco romance would be nice…hmm…Draco will play a big part in this story in the next chapter. In fact I could play Draco in three different ways and I haven't decided yet if he'll be a good guy or a bad guy (but I don't think he'll be too bad in this). When the time comes you reviewers get to decide…we'll make it a vote. Until then…Read, and pls. Review so I know where to go with this. Nuff said. Onwards!


Sadly, a Typical Day

Ginny sat in the cool grass around the roots of a silver birch tree that grew in the wilderness behind the Burrow. In the early morning shade of the tree; toadstools, buttercups and dandelions sprouted up in abundance and she sat amongst them concentrating on the rippling energy she felt just bellow the surface of her consciousness. Mentally pulling at it gently she felt it bubble forth slowly, fighting to reach the surface and escape. It was harder to do when she wasn't bursting in jubilation, but there was no chance of that right now.

As she felt the mystical call begin to flow from her fingers and lips she thought, 'Concentrate. Concentration is the key. Concentration…' then she saw her. A tiny wood sprite peeked out from a knoll on the bark of the tree. Slowly she crept forward looking at her caller curiously. Then she began to dance, twirling no higher than Ginny's index finger, in tiny circles and intricate steps. She was calling others as more sprites began to come forth from the grass and toadstools. Groomed in the leaves and petals they danced at Ginny's feet. She felt eyes tear up at the sight of them trusting her so completely. The she saw the closed bud of a buttercup began to open. Fascinated she watched as the pale hair thin arm of a tiny faerie stretched forward as if reaching for the sun. Just a little more…

"GINNY! VIRGINIA WEASLY WHERE ARE YOU?! GINNY! ANSWER ME!"
She froze as her mother's voice ripped through the trance that she had woven with the tiny magical beings. Looking down at the sight of the dance she found they had all disappeared. Even the tiny buttercup had closed it petals tightly again. An unnamable sadness swept through her.

"GINNY WHERE HAVE YOU GOTTEN OFF TO!" her mother shouted again. Ginny pulled her self off the ground, wiping the unshed tears that trembled at the ends of her eyelashes away. "Coming mother, I'm coming," she said in hushed voice. Mrs. Weasly continued to call her daughter as Ginny gathered her robes up as ran up the hill to the Burrow.

Upon seeing the stream of auburn hair Mrs. Weasly stopped shouting and placed her hands defiantly on her hips. "Ginny do you have any idea how worried I was? What are you doing gallivanting off at dawn? No one in the house is even awake yet…oh look at your robes, they are covered with grass stains! Upon my wand you are as much trouble as twins at times. Get in side."

Ginny followed absently, still half caught in the luster of the faeries. Her mother sat her down at the kitchen table and handed her a dust cloth. "Your father will be up in twenty minutes and I want breakfast ready. I'm sending the twins with him to the ministry, now that they've graduated. Merlin knows those boys need distractions else they'll be into nothing but trouble all summer…"

"Yes mother." 'Does she think being in the ministry will keep them out of trouble? No, it will just transfer trouble to a different turf.' Needless to say she left this comment to herself. In her mind she saw the tiny hand of the faerie that was reaching out of the buttercup…

"…and I want what's left of the silver polished. Did you hear me say Harry's owl came? He's coming this afternoon. Now I might be out today because I need to get Ron some new robes. The hand-me-downs from the twins are just too short and I found the moths have eaten Charlie's old ones. Remind me to redo the moth protection charm on the clothes in the attic will you dear?"

"Yes mother." That faerie must have been new to fit in such a small bud. Ginny wondered if she ran quickly after her mother was distracted if she could make it come out again.

"Any ways, as I was saying, if I am gone when Harry comes you make sure he eats before Ron and Hermione whisk him away. The two of them are still asleep, the dears. You know they were studying all night!"

'Yeah right,' thought Ginny 'And Fred and George are the next candidates for Minster of Magic.' The hand of that faerie looked as if it were reaching for the tiny golden rays of early sunlight that filtered through the birch leaves…she would have to go as soon as her mother turned her back…

"…And she has done wonders with Ron's studying; well you saw him so eager to stay by the pond with her till one in the morning just to collect flashing glow worms for that potions class. That's the sort of thing he would have just ignored a couple of years ago…"

'Now I understand why the twins are always saying Gullible's Travels around you. If I had some one to neck with at one in the morning I'd collect glow worms too.'
"…aren't you being quiet this morning. Probably because you were up so early. Or is it because of Harry coming?"
"NO mother. I'll be fine."
"Now I know about that little crush…"
"Mother, I'm sixteen. Please."
"Alright, alright if you say so. But do make sure he eats, Lord knows what those Muggles do to him. I'm so glad he's staying with us this summer. Ginny dear, do remember to de-gnome garden today. They are destroying the place. Which reminds me, No more traipsing about in the woods today."
Ginny snapped out of her trance like state "But Mother! Please let me go. I'll wait till after I de-gnome the Garden. Just please let me go!"
"Now Ginny really. You're too old to scratching about out there. Besides, I want you to let the hems out in your robes today before school starts, and with both Harry and Hermione staying…I need you here."
"But-"
"Ginny, please. With Percy gone I need at least one docile child in the house. Hmm?"

Her mother gave her a stern, yet reproachful look. Ginny swallowed back the lump that was forming in her throat. "Yes Mother." With out thinking her fingers began to flex…

*************************
Morning in the Burrow was like everything else in the Burrow, a chaotic mess of dishes flying left and right, food spilling and some one always yelling 'Fred get your elbow out of my porridge'. It was no wonder that when Ginny walked into the kitchen later in the morning she took one look at Fred and George wrestling, and Ron ducking Hermione out of the way of a floating skillet before she grabbed a piece of cold toast from the counter and fled.

Days like this the Burrow seemed to have too many people. Hermione had wasted no time in visiting which was a blessing in some senses and a curse in others. It kept Ron busy but the two of them did nothing but fight, make up, and pretend to study when they were doing nothing beyond staring into each others eyes for all Ginny could tell. And Harry would come soon, which was sure to add to the hectic-ness of the place.

'It is so easy to get lost in all the chaos around here,' she thought as she chewed silently on her toast. 'It's almost a relief at times.'

At that moment Ron and Hermione were studying transfigurations. Or at least Ron was working on transfiguring a patch of Hermione's neck, from sun tanned to bright red. He was succeeding too, until something fuzzy and black rubbed against his leg. He glanced down…and screamed.

"AAAAHHH! Ye Gads! A SPIDER!" He jumped, frightening Hermione who also jumped sending a pile of books, scrolls, quills and ink crashing to the ground. Ron's face was a pale green and Hermione looked like Moaning Murtle. On queue a burst of cackling laughter erupted behind them. Ron swung around to find Fred and George clutching they're sides in uncontrolled laughter. Ron felt his face turning blistering red. "YOU. ARE. DEAD!" he screamed as he took chase after the already running twins.

"THIS IS THE LAST STRAW. DAD I'M KILLING THEM THIS TIME."
"Ron," called Hermione after him trying to compose herself, "Try not to get too much blood on the carpet." Those two could really push it too far sometimes.

Ginny heard the thunder of her three older brothers storming down the steps. As they reached the bottom and headed for the kitchen, she saw them each zoom past, first Fred and George who were still in hysterics over their latest prank and then Ron who was swearing left and right not to mention blasting furiously with his wand. A moment later there was a crash. Then came out bursts from both her mother and father yelling at the three of them to stop bickering and clean up the mess. It was ended however by a near manic laugh from Ron who was shouting, "HA! You to can belch up slugs from now till next Christmas! BWHAHAHA!" only to be completed by a "Ron the ministry is going to be furious! You know you're not allowed to use magic during the holidays!" Ron obviously was ignoring he's father's warning.

'That's it,' thought Ginny 'He's finally lost it.' As if to confirm her suspicions Ron came storming in, hair flying with an insane grin plastered on his face muttering, "One day, one day they will go too far and I will just say it. I'll just say the curse and watch them as they shrivel up and die in a flash of green light! Not even Harry will be able to save them. And I'll be free, FREE AT LAST! And I'll bury them with spiders. LOTS AND LOTS OF SPIDERS!!!"
'Aaaah, they've played another spider joke on him. Really they are incorrigible at times. Hermione really ought to help him get over the spider thing though.'
Her thoughts were interrupted by Ron calling over to her. He seemed to have relaxed some. "Oy, Gin, go clean up the glass off the kitchen floor. Mum's getting the twins off and I don't want Hermione stepping on it."
"Ron, I'm…"
"Gin, please. I left Mione looking like she'd seen a ghost."
"Alright…" she sighed.

Ginny walked into the kitchen to see her mother preparing to leave, muttering about the mess on the floor. 'They must have broken every glass on the kitchen table,' she thought.
"Ginny, dear, will you clean this up? I know it was the boys but Ron says the twins gave Hermione a fright and he's gone to go check on her. I have to go else it will be fretfully crowded in Diagon Alley."
"But Mothers that's-"
"Now don't argue dear just sweep it up," said Mrs. Weasly obviously flustered as she prepared the floo powder.

"But mother, that's what I was coming to do," said Ginny as her mother disappeared with a great woosh up the chimney. But Mrs. Weasly was already gone. Ginny began to gather the pieces of glass off the floor. She didn't even blink when a piece cut her hand. For some reason her fingers would not stop flexing…and she kept getting a bitter taste in her mouth.

******************

After the glass was swept up, Ginny finished the silver (what little there was) then she cleared out the fireplace and began to dust. It was terribly tedious work to do with magic and with out it, the work was beyond monotonous. She pulled out the old robes from last year and the ones of Ron's she would modify for this coming year but she was too weary to make the adjustments.

Instead Ginny climbed wearily up to her room. She hated days like this and every day was like this. She felt a sort of impending misery for no reason. So she couldn't go to the woods again, no matter, there was always tomorrow. So, Fred and George were obnoxious and Ron was in another world, so what? So her mother seemed to live in the middle of a tornado…it was not worth crying over. But she felt like crying, or worse like she needed to cry but couldn't and instead she had to deal with rock pressing down on her chest.

It was pressure; a constant subtle pressure that she couldn't get rid of. But there were things that could relieve the pressure…She opened the top drawer of her bureau and looked at the sliver knife that winked back at her brightly in the sunlight. Tracing her fingers over the faeries carved in the handle she began to bit her nail debating if the time was right…

"Ginny!"
She jumped at Hermione's voice, slamming the drawer shut. "Yeah?" she said forcing to keep the tremor out of her voice.
"Listen, Ron and I are going for a walk…"
"A nature walk, really," added Ron.
"To gather something for… Herbology class. An assignment for professor Sprout."
Ginny wonder for a moment if they even took Herbology in the last year of Hogwarts.
"Actually we have to gather wild pansy seedlings," said Ron. His face was split in a grin that would have put Fred and George to shame. He seemed to be entertaining his own private joke. Hermione turned to look at him with a quirked eyebrow then caught his grin and seemed to clue in. Turning again to look at Ginny she nodded, "Yes wild pansies."

Ginny sighed, thinking, 'Do I have the word MORON carved on my forehead? Wild pansies? Other wise known as Heartease, often called Jump up and Kiss Me's, by country folk. Yeah Good one Ron.'
"So," she said out loud "What do you want me to do for you?"
"Just tell Mum where we are if she comes."
"What if Harry arrives?"
"We'll be back before then. Bye, Gin."
"Bye…"

And they were gone. The house seemed very empty. It never ceased to amaze Ginny how quiet the Burrow became once the twins were gone. Delete Ron and Hermione from the picture and the place seemed to echo like a tomb. Even the ghoul in the attic was quiet. She opened up the drawer again looked at her knife. She almost took it but just as her fingers went to clasp the blade she saw something else. Her leads. A set of fine pencil leads that Bill had sent her from Egypt for her fifteenth birthday. She thought back to the scene she had witness that morning and an idea took hold of her. She didn't generally draw spectacularly but with faeries it was different, because she could see them like live pictures in front of her eyes. If she couldn't capture her buttercup faerie in life she would capture it on paper.

The wonderful thing about drawing was that Ginny could lose herself in it. Time became irrelevant, sounds drowned out (even though at that moment there were no sounds from the house) and she could escape. When sketching, she could steady her trembling hands, stop her fingers from flexing and swallow back the bitter ache in her throat. It took all her thoughts away from the world around her and kept her concentration focused on the image at her hands. The shades of gray. The shadows and the light.

Ginny wasn't sure how long she had been sketching. But she was startled by a great thud in the kitchen followed by a great deal of coughing. Thinking Ron and Hermione had returned from their jaunt she went down stairs to greet them. Maybe Hermione would look at her sketches with her.

But as she entered the kitchen, she found it wasn't the lovebirds returned. It was Harry.

He stood in the Weasly fireplace covered with soot, brushing himself off. "Hello! Is anyone in?" he called.

"Hello, Harry," said Ginny walking forward and reaching to drag his trunk away from the hearth. Harry helped her pull all his things away and proceeded to sit down quickly in one of the kitchen chairs. "Its awfully quiet around here, are you the only one in?"

"Yeah, mum went to Diagon Alley, Fred and George are off to help father at the ministry and Ron and Hermione are out collecting seedlings for Herbology."
Harry scrunched his forehead. "I don't remember any herbology assignments."
"Professor Sprout didn't ask for wild pansies?" she said innocently.
"Not that I recall…I hope didn't miss any assignments."

Ginny wondered if it was her imagination, or if the word MORON was actually appearing on his forehead.
Ginny shook her head slightly and poured him a glass of lemonade. "Here, mum says you're to eat, with no exceptions, so what would you like? Ham, eggs, porridge or all?"
"Ham and eggs if you don't mind… you know the adversity the Dursley's have to me eating."
Ginny smiled and began to cut the ham.
Harry watched her with the distinct feeling that something was wrong with the whole exchange. He couldn't put his finger on it but something was definitely not right. Then it hit him. Ginny wasn't blushing. Or stuttering. Or dropping anything.

"Are you feeling okay, Ginny?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm fine. Would you like some tomatoes with this?"
"Er-no."

Harry felt a little disappointed. He had been looking forward to seeing her jump around like a scared kitten. 'No that's mean…it's just kind of cute. Esspecially after Cho…maybe that's why she's acting this way. Ron probably told her about Cho. Well that can be fixed…'

"So how's your summer been, Harry," Ginny asked.
"With the Dursley's? Oh wonderful! Truly splendid. Dudley and I spent the whole time laughing and playing like old friends! Please…How do you think it was? Horrible of course. Though I have some good news…with me turning eighteen soon they have basically told me they expect me out by the end of the year. I tell you I have never been so happy to be thrown out of any where!"

"I'm sure you'll be happier once you have a place of your own. Though no doubt Mum and Dad will insist that you stay here till you've found some place decent," said Ginny cracking eggs into a skillet. Still no blush.

Harry bit his lip for a minute. "The beginning wasn't bad…of the summer I mean. You know I finally got Cho to go out with me."
"Yes, I figured as much. I saw you guys snogging the last few days of school."
It was Harry's turn to blush. "Yeah, well. It was fun while it lasted…she broke with me though."
"Really? Why?"
"Cedric you know, and his death. It all sort of circles around me doesn't it? She just couldn't take it."
Ginny began frying the ham, but turned around and threw him a sympathetic glance. "Sorry it didn't work out. It must have been a pretty rotten time. Though maybe if you give her some time she'll come round. Give her a couple of weeks and write her again, maybe she'll change her mind."

"Yeah well, maybe." Harry felt his male ego deflating rapidly. Was this Ginny the girl who had had a crush on him for five years? She didn't even burn herself frying the ham and everyone burns themselves when they fry ham!
He was determined to at least see her blush a little.
"So is it just me and you in the house?"
"You and I, Harry."
"You sound like Hermione."
"Considering how much I've being seeing of her this summer it's no wonder. All the Weasly's grammar has improved ten fold."
"Fine then, Is it just You and I in the house by ourselves?"
"Not really. I have to de-gnome the garden in few minutes."
"Oh, come now…you're not going to leave me here all by myself are you?" he asked playfully.

She scraped the eggs and ham on a plate and turned to look him in the eye. As he caught her expression he suddenly felt very very foolish. She looked like mother giving a confused but stern look to her three-year-old son. It struck Harry suddenly just how much she seemed to have grown over the summer.

"I'm going to be up in my room for awhile before I start de-gnoming. If you need anything just holler."

As she turned to leave the room Harry sighed feeling both dissatisfied and disappointed. She had finally grown out of her crush. Just like that. He didn't realize you could just withdraw a crush on someone at your own free will. It didn't seem…well quite nice if that was the word. He had finally prepared himself to notice the little girl with the crush, if only to distract him his disappointment with Cho and now not only had he missed out on it but he also wondered if he had missed Ginny the child all together.

Ginny closed the door to her room again and sat down at her desk. She did not need this. She did not need Harry flirting with her out of boredom. He was flirting with her, wasn't he? She wasn't sure. Suddenly she felt unjustified anger towards herself. 'For the sake of Merlin and your sanity can you please get your life under control girl? I refuse to let this unsettle me. This is old and I don't have time for it.' Grimly she looked at her unfinished sketches. She picked up her pencils, determined to finish them.

The next thing she knew, Ginny heard another thud in the kitchen. A very mother-like thud. Dropping her finished sketch she cursed as she realized it was now very late in the afternoon, her father would be home soon and she hadn't touched the garden. She ran down the stairs only to be greeted by the stern face of a less then happy Mrs. Weasly. "The garden, Ginny?" was all she said. Ginny looked down and bit her lip. "I lost track of time. I'll do it right now."
"Look, mum, me and Hermione and Harry can do it. We're free," said Ron, obviously feeling guilty about the ton of work he hadn't been doing.

"No, dear, I know you have been studying all day. Ginny just snap to it? I don't ask for much, just a few things to help me with…" Her mother had that disappointed tone in her voice that made Ginny's heart sink.
"I'll do it right now."

Ron and Hermione both looked guilty and quickly stood up. "We don't mind," said Hermione quickly "We need a break from the books and it's kind of fun throwing gnomes over the wall."
"Sit, both of you," Ginny said coldly. "I'll do it right now."

Ginny clamped her jaw down harshly. 'I should have let them do it. They don't do anything but snog as it is. But I promised mum so I will. And Lord I need to get out of the house. Why does everyone on the face of the blasted planet have to show up on our doorstep!' she thought furiously as she stormed out to the yard. 'I'm being unreasonable and I know it. I being irrational and I'm not making a shred of sense! None of this bloody matters any ways and I'm acting like a blazing martyred. Why damn it!? Why do I have to bloody feel this way?' She was now throwing the gnomes, which she usually felt a great deal of pity for, mercilessly over the wall. She felt helplessly wretched for no explainable reason except that she hated herself and the awful ache that was lodged in her chest.

Suddenly an almost welcomed pain shot through her hand. One of the gnomes was biting furiously into her hand, drawing blood. She shook the thing off tears stinging in her eyes, fighting the over whelming urge to throttle the creature. She looked at her bleeding hand and thought of how easy it would be go up right then and release all her frustration with a few quick strokes. Her thumb was flexing uncontrollably as her right hand shook in pain. It frightened her sometimes how easy it had become to deal with things through her blade. Just as soon as she was done with the blasted garden…

An hour later she went silently to the bathroom to wash the dirt off her hands. She heard her father come in along with her brothers and felt the noise volume of the house shoot upwards in a matter of seconds. She walked slowly to the room and stood in the doorway as her father and brothers welcomed Harry with manly handshakes and lighthearted ribbing. They all looked so warm and so like…her family. When had she stopped feeling a part of that? What had happened?

Fred and George caught her before she could escape back to her room. The feeling of her family was infectious; they made her smile even when she didn't want to. The more she laughed the emptier she felt because unlike the rest of them the laughter that spilled from her lips was as surface as her freckles. At the first chance a lame excuse could buy she escaped to the drawing room where she sank down on the couch breathing heavily.

Suddenly Fred and George came bursting in upon her without warning. Ginny looked up quickly hoping that her distress was hidden in the dim light.
"Ginny, Umm…have you got any chocolate frogs stashed up in your room?" They were grinning profoundly. She felt the hair begin to stick up on the back of her neck. "Maybe I have a few…" she said. Something was definitely not right.
"Could you be a dear and run up and get some? We haven't had any in ages. You will share with your poor starving brothers, won't you? Please?" George was giving her his best puppy dog look. Good natured-ly she melted, grateful for the distraction. "Oh stop, you two. Of course, if I can find any..." she got up and made her way up the stairs. Something in the back of her mind was tickling her… The boys wanted chocolate frogs, nothing odd in that. Though George really did need to start watching that waistline. In fact it was nice of them to ask instead of just charging up and rooting through her room…Suddenly she stopped. Of course. If the twins wanted something, they never ever asked. She began to run. She had to see whatever disaster they had set off in her room.

She dashed in just as the explosion erupted.
Suddenly her walls, her bed, and at that moment herself, were covered in purple slimy goo. She just stood there, stock still frozen in place. Behind, the two of them burst out laughing. "Courtesy of Weasly's Wheezes, Gin. We always did think purple was your favorite color!" they were cackling. She swallowed deeply, numbly, as the disaster sank in slowly. Suddenly she looked over at her desk. Her sketches. She groaned and quickly (as quickly as she could while wading through purple goo) she rushed over to the desk.

They were ruined. Even if by a miracle she could get the purple goo off the lead was smeared beyond repair. Her only piece of the beauty she missed that morning was gone. Crumpling the ruined picture she absently took her knife from the drawer and walked up to the attic trailing purple goo behind her, to set her trembling flexing fingers to rest.


******************
Later that night as she sat, fingers stinging, hemming her robes the twins came bounding in again. She didn't look up, but George didn't let it phase him. He swooped her up in his big brother embrace and began to tickle her madly on the floor. Fred joined in and tweaked both her ears and nose.

"Now you're not going to be missish and sulky about the room are you Gin?"
"Come now, it was a bit of harmless fun," said Fred as he tweaked her nose again.

'You ruined it. You ruined my work with your harmless fun.'

"Don't give us the silent treatment. We were just playing about."
"We need to test our inventions on some one…and Ron might really use an unforgivable curse next time," said George
"Though the look on his face this morning was priceless, ay? A lovely shade of green, I'd say," answered Fred with a laugh "But come on Ginny, you're not going to mind us are you? Hmm? Wittle Ginny Winny? Hmmm?"

'That's right. I'm still ten years old. Next they're going to offer me an Every Flavor Bean and say it's a shiny jewel from India they bought just for me.'

"Here Gin, look what Fred here's got. It's a jewel right from India! I swear that we bought it just for you! You can even eat it, because those Indians are clever chaps, they are."

Ginny wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. But she new it was hopeless staying angry with them for long. "If it's ear wax flavor, I'll use an unforgivable curse on you both," she said.

"That's a girl! Now we'll be good blokes and clean up your room since we are old enough to magic it all away," said George smiling wider than a Cheshire cat.

"And we promise never to explode another Gooey Grape Bomb in your room, Gin," called Fred as he followed George out of the room.
"Yeah," assured George "Next time we'll use a the Cherry Blood kind!"

Ginny watched them leave and wondered if they would ever know how hard they could make things at times. She looked at the stinging red welts that covered her arms and hands and felt for the blade that was in her pocket. "School will start soon and things will get better. They have to," she thought.

"They have to."



AN: Hope you are getting a better sense of Ginny's frame of mind. Feed back is always appreciated. Next up: Hogwarts, more of Harry and the entry of Draco Malfoy. Sorry if this is long.