Disclaimer: Coming on to the fifth chapter and surprise surprise I still don't own any of the Characters. Yes Ms. Rowling they're all yours so please don't sue me unless you really want my Raggity Anne doll.
AN: Okay this is the end. No more voting from here onward. I unfortunately know I can't please everyone, but I hope the majority of you will like this. I divided this into two parts because it ran on longer than I thought it would. And sorry this took so long, with finals and all, my mom literally banned me from the computer. Yeah a note about the story: I'm assuming that they generally keep their wands with them at all times. And I used the luminous charm in this, but I think I spelled it wrong, sorry.
BORG: If you're still reading this, then I'm sorry you didn't like the story, but if you think my writing's bad, trust me my knitting is worse. Find me another hobby to keep my hands busy and I promise I'll stop writing. Okay?
Thanks to all who reviewed, I hope you enjoy this. PLEASE READ THE A/N AT THE BOTTOM.
Now All the Stars have Fallen
Draco cursed as he pricked his finger for the umpteenth time on the Spinorkia plant he was pruning. Sucking his finger diligently he contemplated getting Professor Sprout fired for good. She had given him detention because he hadn't bothered to do his assignment and list the two hundred uses Wortbane's vines. When she had demanded that he give a reason for not fulfilling his work he had said, "The only use I could find was tormenting students with pointless information that fat teachers think is useful!" Hence he was squatting in the dirt, pruning two hundred of the thorniest plants in her green house, alternating between cursing Sprout to Kingdom Come and ruing the day he had noticed Ginny Weasly. This was all her fault after all.
He had heard about her visit to Madam Pomfrey the day before. Pansy had seen her in the infirmary when she had gone to take care of some warts on her hands. She had heard as Madam Pomfrey told Ginny that she had come too late to prevent the wound on her hand from scarring. Pansy listened as Ginny said she had cut herself trying to repair an old robe. Of course Pansy had thought the idea of Ginny hurting herself in an attempt to fix the unfixable robes of her six older brothers was hilarious. When she related the tale to Draco, his stomach contorted painfully and he had had to laugh hard to keep his worry hidden. That night, not only had he done no work, but sleep had also not been possibility. All he could do was wonder what had pushed Ginny to take a knife to herself again and pray that the injury she had received was due to carelessness and not willful destruction.
'Not that that's any better,' he thought resentfully 'It all comes down to the same thing. She's getting worse and if someone doesn't do something soon, things will get ugly.'
Hacking away at the Spinorkia he contemplated his options. He was tempted tell someone: Ron, Harry, anyone. But then when he thought about their inability to even see something was wrong with her, he brushed the thought away. Of course he could always talk to her…
'No, damn it! I'm not some bloody hero! Harry is the one who's supposed be off saving the world, rescuing damsels in distress.'
But then Ginny wasn't a damsel in distress. She was a girl couldn't see any other way to deal with her pain than with a blade. And he couldn't let her keep doing it. He winced again this time due to his thoughts and not the thorns on the damn plant he was stuck pruning.
Was concern for someone always this much of a heartache? If so he had new respect for Ron and Hermione. Lord knew it was easier not to give a damn. MUCH easier. He however, didn't seem to have a choice.
Just then a sound made him turn around. He almost groaned out loud. Ginny was making her way through the plants, pushing silently between the leaves and branches of the miniature jungle. For one moment he thought she had come to cut, but seeing her hands relaxed he settled back in his corner to watch her. She was walking up and down the flowerbeds brushing the tips of the petals with her fingers, stopping at the irises and tulips. She seemed to be biding her time until she reached the herbs. Then she leaned over and began to collect samples.
'Probably something for Potions, or Herbology,' he thought. She kept glancing over to the flowerbeds as if debating something…but she seemed to rule against what ever it was. Maybe she was looking for something for her dance costume. The Dance…just thinking about it made him cringe. He had heard that Ginny was going to the ball with Colin Creavy and knowing that Harry had asked her first, it didn't take him long to guess that somehow Harry had broken off his date with her. He had had to use incredible self-restraint not to go over and punch Harry's face in. In fact the more he thought about the ball the more it seemed prone to disaster. Draco had not intended on going at all but now he felt obligated to… He admired the spunk it took for Ginny to still go after the stunt Harry pulled, but it didn't change the fact that he wanted to be there to make sure nothing would send her after her blade that evening. Just incase. Draco grimaced in self-disgust, why the hell did it have to matter so much he wondered?
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Ginny arranged the samples she was collecting for Potions class, blissfully unaware that she was being watched. Her mind was on the flowers and whether they contained faeries like the wild ones did. She was tempted to call them to feel the rush and splendor of that magical world…but she had classes and she knew that she wouldn't be able to concentrate if she called her tiny beings to her. One thing was for sure; she couldn't afford to fool around in anymore classes. After missing charms that day and plenty of classes in which her mind had not been in, she knew that her grades were going to suffer. Then there was the ball. She had very little time and a great deal of work to do. She just had to make sure she didn't loose her nerve…
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Harry stared out at the Quiddtich field that was now blanketed in a thin layer of snow. Right then he would have killed for a chance to play, just for the distraction. Everything had worked out well all in all…Ron was happy, Ginny was going with Colin, He was going with Parviti Patil (she did seem to always be the one who filled in his unscheduled dates) and everyone was pleased.
'So why does everything feel ten degrees off?' he wondered as his breath made steamy patterns on the window. Sighing he continued to watch the snowfall, until a tap on his shoulder made him jump.
"Dreaming of Quidditch?" asked Hermione laughing as she struggled to balance the stack of books under her arm. Harry took half of the books from her as they both made their way to the common sofa. Flopping down next to her he idly began to arrange the books according to size while she told him about the episode Ron had had with Snape that afternoon.
"…And he said, 'How was I supposed to know that scales on a dragon's tail were different from the ones on a dragon's nose?!' and Snape gives him this nasty -well Snapish- look and says 'Maybe if you bothered to read the lesson you would know what was going on in class! Ten points from Gryffindor! And Ron's turning all red in the face and he says…Harry? Harry?"
Harry jumped, startled and looked at Hermione sheepishly, "Sorry… You were saying, err Snape noticed Ron's potion was green instead of blue?"
Hermione snorted, "Yeah, about five minutes ago. Actually I had reached right up to before Ron got detention…So what are you thinking about?"
Harry rubbed the back of his head shamefacedly and said, "Just thinking about the ball is all."
"Real excited to be going with Parviti?" asked Hermione slyly.
Harry scowled at her and turned to pick at the lint on the chair. "NO…listen did Ron tell you about Ginny?"
Hermione's smile faded and she took on a rather stern expression, "Yes, he did. Surely you heard the big row we had in corridor about it."
"Do you think I did the right thing? I mean not going with her?" asked Harry reluctantly looking Hermione in the eye.
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Honestly? No. I think you should have told Ron that Ginny is a big girl and that the sooner he realizes that the better."
"But what if I had hurt her feelings?"
"Harry, she's sixteen! Give her a little credit! She's a lot tougher than you guys think."
Harry glared at the increasing pile of lint he was collecting. "I really screwed up this time didn't I?"
Hermione folded her arms across her chest. "Yeah, both of you did. Big time." She glanced over to him and took in his miserable expression, then softened a bit. "Look, what's done is done. If it makes you feel better it seems to have all worked out. Ginny doesn't look or act upset…she's even been kind of springy these days. Have you noticed that she's eating more? She used to skip either breakfast or dinner everyday, but now she there for all three meals. I was getting kind of worried about her, but she's seems-I don't know-happier now. Maybe this ball was just what she needed."
"Yeah, maybe…" said Harry unconvinced. Everything still felt ten degrees off balance.
Harry watched as Hermione opened one of her Advanced Arithmacy books and began to read while she toyed absently with the locket Ron had given her for her birthday. Suddenly Harry asked, "When did you know you were in love with Ron?"
Hermione looked up at him surprised. "Hmm?"
"When did you know, I mean really know, that you were in love with Ron? Was it all the blushing and heart pounding, and the hot and cold spells?"
Hermione blinked and began to think back over the span of the last two years. "No…it wasn't those things. I used to blush when I had a crush on Professor Lockhart, and Lord knows I wasn't in love with him. I think I really knew I was in love when he got sick in sixth year and we where having our finals. Suddenly finals, MY finals, didn't mean anything; they stopped seeming important, because he wasn't there to make fun of my studying habits."
Harry chuckled softly, he remembered that year well. He himself had been worried sick but Hermione had been positively frantic.
"When did you know that he loved you?" he asked.
Hermione closed the Arithmacy book, she was obviously not going to get anything done right then, and thought back over her relationship with Ron. "I think the fist time I knew, would have been at the last Yule Ball when he gave me those white lilies."
Harry cocked a bewildered eye.
"See everybody gets girls flowers, you know roses and stuff. But Ron got me white lilies. You know why?"
Harry shook his head, no.
"Because he figured out they were my favorite flowers. I mean we both know Ron isn't the most observant guy in the world, but he knew. I hadn't told anyone, because I thought it was too girly, not even Ginny. But he watched me and noticed enough about me that he found out. And I thought, anybody who could find that out had to be in love…It was one of the best days in my life."
Harry scratched his head in wonder. "I never would have thought of that."
"It's not something you think about, or even plan…it just happens, when your back is turned. Now, that's enough philosophical romance for one sitting. Get your Arithmacy book out and study…I KNOW you haven't touched your books all day."
Harry welcomed the work with relief…Arithmacy was simple, factual and neat. It made much more sense than love ever would.
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Ginny sat on her bed arranging the forget-me-nots out on her pillow. She had 'borrowed' them from Professor Sprout's green house and now she was enchanting them with an everlast charm so that they wouldn't fade before the ball.
The closer the day approached, the more nervous she got as her mind spun with all the possible things that could go wrong.
'I'm just going to enjoy myself,' she thought as she gathered up the flowers and began to pull out the periwinkle cloth for her dress. 'I'm going to prove that I'm not a child and not invisible and that's all. Nothing to it. It will be a snap.'
But the truth of the matter was that years of social withdrawal had taken their toll on her and she knew in her heart of hearts that the sooner the dance was over the better.
At first she had panicked when she went through her wardrobe and found she had nothing even remotely suitable to wear. She couldn't afford new robes and didn't have the time to make them and she had considered just calling the whole thing off. Amanda Peterson had saved her by showing off the gown she was going to wear to the ball three days earlier.
"That isn't a robe," Ginny had said when Amanda put on the pink long sleeved ball gown.
"I know, it's a Muggle dress my mother bought me. Isn't it grand?
"But you can't wear that to a wizard ball!" said Ginny
"Professor Dumbledore said it was costume party…we can wear what ever we want," Amanda insisted.
Ginny looked at the dress and had to admit that is was pretty. More importantly it required a great less amount of fabric than robes did a lot less sewing work. If she could find a simple one to copy…
Amanda had been very sweet about it; she even offered to let Ginny borrow something of hers as she had plenty of dress with her. Ginny declined, saying the clothes wouldn't fit anyway as Amanda was both taller and bustier than Ginny but after looking through the clothing she found a fairly simple one she thought she could copy in the amount of time she had.
That weekend Ginny surprised the gang by saying she wanted to go to Hogsmeade with everyone else. Hermione was delighted, saying Ginny needed to get out more and she needed to hang around with other girls. The end result was Ginny getting swoop off her feet in a Hogsmeade shopping spree.
Before she bought anything, though Ginny detoured into a small art shop. Though she was reluctant to give them up she knew it was the only way she was going to get any money and so she sold her faerie sketches for a reasonable price. Taking the money she had earned she made her way to the other girls, hoping it would be enough for all she needed.
Now sitting on her bed, she began to carefully cut out the light blue fabric and with her wand in hand she started the process of producing a new dress.
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The night of the dance Ginny sat in front of her mirror terrified. All day the frenzy had carried on, girls racing in and out, trying on this robe and magicing that costume. The dormitory was littered with makeup, perfume and hair equipment; and the noise was superhuman. Ginny felt a daze similar to the one she felt on the last day of school in her fifth year. With a petrified look on her face she slowly wandered down the stairs to the common room where the hustle had calmed some.
Standing unseen in the doorway, she saw Ron with his arms wrapped around Hermione's waist whispering something in her ear that made her blush and giggle. Harry was giving roses to Parviti and Colin kept telling Amanda that she was the prettiest thing he had seen all evening.
Something about the sight of them, all happy and content, blissfully oblivious of the havoc they had wrought upon her world made her previous anger come to a startling boil.
'I will NOT back out of this!' she thought furiously as she ran back up the stairs. Throwing herself once again in front of the mirror she shook down her hair from its haphazard bun and examined it against her face. It was pretty, if you liked coppery hair, but too long to complement her small face. With grim determination she took a pair of scissors and her wand and began to hack away. She didn't cut off all the initial length but layered it so that the top half hung around her chin and cascaded longer as it went down. 'Much better,' she thought as she brushed off the cut hairs and magiced them out of her way.
Pulling off her robes she put on her dress, pleased to see it fit in the right places. It was simple enough with a full skirt and a corset bodice that crisscrossed up the front in blue ribbons. The dress was sleeveless, as the four yards of fabric had depleted before sleeves could be made and the effect was cool and pretty on her slender body. At first she had worried endlessly over her scars, but finally she decided that the scabs from her last cutting session had already come off and her arms were very pale due to the fact that she always wore long sleeves and gloves. She spun around experimentally in front of the mirror; the dress was fitted but not choking and the filmy material hung well over her small, but not un-proportioned figure. Whispering a quick charm she smiled as the material gained a sparkling quality that added to the ambiance of her appearance.
Unsatisfied with her hair Ginny braided up the top half with forget-me-not's and blue ribbons leaving only tendrils of red locks down the caress her forehead and cheeks. Moving on she sat down to decide what to do with her face.
She was still terrified, but willpower and anger battled with her terror until she pushed it down, drowning it in her subconscious. The result was an adrenaline rush that made her flushed and sparkled, and practically giddy with anxiety and anticipation. She didn't need blush, and a week of force-feeding herself at every meal had made her cheeks lose the somewhat sunken look they had had before. A few charms later, her eyes and lips were to her satisfaction and taking the shawl she had made from the lining of one of her old robes she was almost ready to go.
Shoes had been a problem from the start, as she had nothing fancy and couldn't afford new ones, even with the money from her sketches. Finally she took a pair of old slippers and the leftover scraps from her dress and with some magic and a lot of needlework fashioned them into a pair of dancing slippers. That was all she needed she thought, because tonight she was going to dance until she dropped.
As she flew down the stairs, she was practically dancing already, for with each step she felt her conscious mind slip lower and lower under the choppy waves of the surface. Ginny didn't want to think tonight…she just wanted to dance and dance and dance…
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Colin was getting impatient. It was bad enough that Amanda was going to the dance with Justin Finch-Fletchley from Hufflepuff and he was stuck babysitting Ron's little sister, but to top it all she was running late as well. He stood up and began pacing the common room floor.
"Where is she anyways?" he thought, annoyed at the lateness of the hour. He was sure the music was starting…
"Colin are you still there?" Ginny called lightly as she tripped down the stairs.
"Ginny, where are you? We're going to be- Ginny?" He stopped short as she came in view. Colin blinked twice and said, "Lord, Gin, I hardly recognized you! You look lovely!"
Ginny gave a high sweet laugh. "Oh come now, no one with as many freckles as I do can be termed lovely. We both know you think Amanda is the prettiest thing you've ever seen!"
"I-I mean-"
But she stopped him with a kiss on the cheek and said, "Thank you for being a dear and waiting for me."
Colin tried to stutter an answer but she was already spinning ahead, tilting her ear forward. "Oh, listen! I think the music's already begun. Come on we don't want to be late." And she took his arm and led him out of the room.
When they entered the hall Ginny felt a wave of panic threaten to overcome her. There were so many people in the hall that it looked like a miniature festival with an array of colors and sounds. Fighting her great urge to flee she turned to Colin who was still gaping in surprise at her change in attitude and suggested they get punch first.
Colin led her to the table and brought her a glass of punch while Ginny fought to steady her trembling hands. But a blessed savior came when the dance music began to play.
"Colin will you dance with me?" she asked.
"Of course," he said. This date was getting better by minute he thought, he thought.
Pushing through the crowded room they made their way to the dance floor. As soon as she was there, Ginny felt the music wash over her in waves…this she understood, this she knew. Letting her conscious mind slip further, she imagined her self alone in the forest surrounded by her faeries and with that mental picture her body moved on its own accord. The faster the rhythm the better, because it required more concentration on the music and less on the people around her. She was vaguely aware that Colin was working hard to catch up with her and she could hear herself laughing as he spun her across the floor. 'I can go all night like this,' she thought. 'I don't have to feel anything…'
'I wonder if being dead is like this. Watching your body while your soul slips away…NO,' she thought to herself sternly 'Don't think, just move with the music.'
Ron looked over to where his sister was dancing with Colin and smiled. "See Hermione, I told you it would work out. Look how grown up she looks…I forget sometimes that she's sixteen."
"Yes I'm sure she noticed that. It's about time you realized what's going on with her," said Hermione the sternness in her voice loosing affect as he tickled her neck. But neither of them could see her flushed face or glazed eyes from where they were…and even if they had they probably wouldn't have guessed the turmoil raging inside her.
The first thing Harry saw was a flash of blue on the dance floor. He could hear Ginny's voice but he couldn't find a figure to associate it with…Then he saw her. Dancing around and around and laughing. She looked almost as alive as the night he had seen her with the fire sprites, but something was different. Harry had never seen Ginny as physically beautiful; she was pretty enough as redheads go, but not striking. Still, as he watch her dance he began to seriously wonder how he could have missed her all those years before.
'She looks so happy,' he thought 'And I've never heard her laugh some much ever. I wonder what Ron will say…'
Harry began to look for Ron in the crowd, but he couldn't see him. Asking Parviti if she had seen him, she said he had just left with Hermione and had promised to 'be back soon'. Harry felt rather relieved that he wasn't there…he didn't want Ron spoiling Ginny's fun as she enjoyed her first real dance since her third year at school. He watched her as she moved and mentally berated himself for the umpteenth time that he had broken off his date with her.
"Colin's probably thanking his lucky stars that he got a chance to be with her tonight," he muttered. She was laughing again. Harry began to wonder what Colin was saying that was so damn witty as he watched his best friend's sister glide across the hall.
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Draco almost choked on his punch when he saw her. Was that Ginny? He thought bewildered. Colin was grinning like a damn fool and she was on the dance floor with him laughing in her high sweet voice. For one moment Draco let her physical appearance wash over him, then he took in the scene before him for what it was.
Ginny was not an overly social person he knew. Circumstances had made her both shy and quiet and technically this whole Ball should have terrified her. And there she was dancing like she didn't have a care in the world. The song ended and Colin sat down exhausted, but Ginny just switched partners. Now she was dancing with Neville who everyone knew couldn't dance for the life of him. She didn't seem to care; in fact every time he stepped on her toes she just laughed and kept going. Draco didn't realize he was growling in his throat…There was something wrong with her laughter. It was too…sweet? High? Happy? He wasn't sure but something was wrong.
He pushed his way through the crowd to get a closer look. The dance was changing again. 'Good,' he thought. 'Now she'll sit down and I can talk to her…'
But she didn't sit down, she didn't even stand still. She was now with a Ravenclaw, someone he didn't know. Dancing and laughing, always laughing…Draco could feel his skin growing cold. Finally he slammed his punch glass sown on the table. This had gone on long enough; it was time to get her out of there before something went horribly horribly wrong.
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The longer Harry watched her the more he got the odd sensation that she was slipping away. He was tempted to laugh because he was sure that it was Ron's over protectiveness that was rubbing off on him…still. He began to push his way forward to the dance floor, but the crowd of people was hindering him hopelessly. 'Never mind…' he thought. 'She has to sit down sometime…and when she does, I'll talk to her.'
Ginny fought hard to ignore the pain that was beginning to creep into her thighs. She tired not to think at all, just to move and react as seemed fit. She drowned out the voice that screamed that everything she was doing was a lie. She knew she was trying to prove that she was not afraid, not a child and did not need to be protected. But she was losing herself and a part of her knew it.
'I doesn't matter,' she thought angrily. 'Just a little while longer and I'll be done…'
Cutting directly into her dance with Dean, Draco all but knocked the artist over saying, "I know you don't mind if I cut in."
Dean was grumbling but before he had a chance to react Draco had taken Ginny at least ten paces across the floor.
Ginny was momentarily startled at the intrusion, she opened her mouth to protest, but as he moved steadily into the movements of the dance she bit back her response, replacing it with something calmer. "Draco, how nice to see you looking so well this evening," she said airily regaining the glassy look to her eyes and smiling like he was some long lost friend.
Draco sighed harshly in frustration; for a moment he thought she had come back to her senses, but now she had slipped back into her little world…watching her laughing as though nothing was even remotely wrong made him incredibly angry. Didn't she see that she was fixing herself up for an awful ploy?!
"Ginny!" he finally hissed "What the hell is going on here!?"
She started in mock surprise and said, "Come now, Mr. Malfoy, you are a very intelligent person…I believe a dance is what is going on here." Then came the damn laughter.
Draco fought the urge to shake her.
"Listen Ginny, I know what's going on. This… this whole show tonight, is an act and you know what? You on a fear high right now. This may all seem fun, but you know what the catch is about highs? You always have to come down in the end and that's when you get hurt."
Ginny blinked for a moment and then smiled slowly, brushing her finger over his jaw line. "You know, concern suits you. Pointless though it is, a kind of worried snarl looks nicer on you than a disdaining smirk."
Draco rolled his eyes impatiently and took hold over her hand to spin her around as the move of the dance required. As her arms raised and caught the light it looked like a layer of fine lace was stretched over her skin. The sight made Draco's stomach twist and his anger dim to cold fear. She was such a butterfly, he thought and butterflies have such short lives…
"Ginny, listen, I know you don't like me or trust me, but this has got to stop. Come sit down. After this dance you come sit with me, or Harry if you want. You-you and Harry can talk or something, just a sit down."
"I don't want to sit down!" she insisted gaily. "I want to dance. You are a very good dancer, you know, better than Dean…"
"GINNY!" he growled "Will you STOP this!? Just please sit down before you get hurt…"
The unconscious part of Ginny mind was beginning to slowly quiver under his insistence. That was NOT good. She didn't want to think or feel or care at all. What was wrong with Draco? Why was he being this way, and making everything complicated? Why couldn't he just make some snide comment like before? 'Idon'tneedthisIdon'tneedthisIdon'tneedthis…' her mind chanted.
Finally in one sudden moment she burst into a jubilant laugh and before he could speak he brought her hand up to the sliver buckles at his shoulders and in one swift movement scraped her arm against it. Draco jumped at the unexpected move and let go of her quickly.
She fingered the bloodless scratch she had given herself and flashed it before him. Smiling that same eerie smile she said, "Didn't you tell me once that you bleed to know you're alive? See look, no blood… I must not be alive…so I guess I can't get hurt and you can stop worrying."
And before he could react, could scream, could pull her off the floor, she was in someone else arms, laughing.
And she was gone. Goyle had her and they were dancing to something very very slow. Draco's mind raced as he comprehended the words she had just said. He jumped as he stared at his own hands. His fingers were flexing.
'Okay, that's it. Enough of this shit. I'm getting her out of here if I have to drag her off the damn floor by her hair!' he swore as his mind raced. He watched as Ginny and Goyle rocked slowly…well he could wait. He would wait until the music stopped then he was getting her out of the room. He didn't know when it had become so important to him that she not get hurt but it had and that was all that mattered. Unconsciously he glanced over at the food table and was surprised to see Harry watching Ginny over the top of everyone's heads' with an expression bordering on concern. If Mr. Clueless over there had guessed something was wrong then things really were bad. He stared at Harry trying to decide whether the guy really cared for his fiery haired cutter or not. Whether he could deal with that sort of situation and if he would be good for her. Harry was the perfect hero, all he needed a suit of armor and a white horse. Was that what Ginny needed? He watched Harry for a few minutes trying to get an idea of his moves, and missing the scene between Ginny and Goyle behind him.
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"Ginny you look gorgeous tonight," said Goyle.
"Why thank you Goyle, how nice of you to notice…"
The pain was beginning to get to her. The fast dance she had done with Draco had been okay but the slow rhythm she was moving to now was threatening to make her knees buckle. Goyle was saying that he didn't realize what a nice figure she had. Ginny wasn't sure how to react to that comment so she heard herself laugh giving him some blasé comment in return. The pain in her legs was becoming excruciating….
"Gregory," he said smirking casually.
"Hmm…?" What was he saying, she thought.
"My name is actually Gregory. Goyle is my last name."
"Oh, Gregory, that's a nice name." She was afraid if this dance went on too much longer she was going to have to sit down…
"You DO like pretty enough to eat," he was saying.
Ginny wasn't sure what she replied, the pain her legs drowned out her answer. She focused her mind on the music so that she could keep moving ever so slowly…soon this song would end and she would sit---
All thoughts fled her mind in one mind blowing moment. Goyle's hands, which had been previously residing at her back, were wandering down lower than they should have. She froze in unspoken horror. He had large rough hands, and the right one left her back entirely and began to travel up the front of her dress. In one moment the beautiful glass illusion of the evening shattered into a thousands shards and she felt reality crash down on her.
Pulling out of his arms she cried, "What are you doing?!"
Goyle was grinning like a cat eyeing a canary; he looked her over like she was desert. Chuckling in a sick, sizing way he said, "Oh come on Ginny, we were just getting started." He reached for her again.
Ginny jumped back with pure horror painted in every line of her face. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Where had she gone wrong? Suddenly she looked around her at all the people that surrounded her. It was like for the first time she noticed that the entire school was watching her and all the old fear she had fought to drown out before, crashed down on her in one big tidal wave. Her whole body trembled, her hands were shaking uncontrollably. 'What on earth was I thinking?' she screamed on her mind. And through all that Goyle was reaching for her again…
"I have to go," she said as she felt her mind reel. She turned, located the nearest exist and began to push her way through the people, trying to get out of the crowd in the room that had suddenly become claustrophobic. As she pushed forward not paying attention to anyone around her, she felt the familiar pressure behind her eyes of unshed-able tears and the crushing pain in her chest that accompanied them. This was her worst nightmare and she hadn't even dreamt it. If only…if only it was to end there.
AN: Okay this is the end. No more voting from here onward. I unfortunately know I can't please everyone, but I hope the majority of you will like this. I divided this into two parts because it ran on longer than I thought it would. And sorry this took so long, with finals and all, my mom literally banned me from the computer. Yeah a note about the story: I'm assuming that they generally keep their wands with them at all times. And I used the luminous charm in this, but I think I spelled it wrong, sorry.
BORG: If you're still reading this, then I'm sorry you didn't like the story, but if you think my writing's bad, trust me my knitting is worse. Find me another hobby to keep my hands busy and I promise I'll stop writing. Okay?
Thanks to all who reviewed, I hope you enjoy this. PLEASE READ THE A/N AT THE BOTTOM.
Now All the Stars have Fallen
Draco cursed as he pricked his finger for the umpteenth time on the Spinorkia plant he was pruning. Sucking his finger diligently he contemplated getting Professor Sprout fired for good. She had given him detention because he hadn't bothered to do his assignment and list the two hundred uses Wortbane's vines. When she had demanded that he give a reason for not fulfilling his work he had said, "The only use I could find was tormenting students with pointless information that fat teachers think is useful!" Hence he was squatting in the dirt, pruning two hundred of the thorniest plants in her green house, alternating between cursing Sprout to Kingdom Come and ruing the day he had noticed Ginny Weasly. This was all her fault after all.
He had heard about her visit to Madam Pomfrey the day before. Pansy had seen her in the infirmary when she had gone to take care of some warts on her hands. She had heard as Madam Pomfrey told Ginny that she had come too late to prevent the wound on her hand from scarring. Pansy listened as Ginny said she had cut herself trying to repair an old robe. Of course Pansy had thought the idea of Ginny hurting herself in an attempt to fix the unfixable robes of her six older brothers was hilarious. When she related the tale to Draco, his stomach contorted painfully and he had had to laugh hard to keep his worry hidden. That night, not only had he done no work, but sleep had also not been possibility. All he could do was wonder what had pushed Ginny to take a knife to herself again and pray that the injury she had received was due to carelessness and not willful destruction.
'Not that that's any better,' he thought resentfully 'It all comes down to the same thing. She's getting worse and if someone doesn't do something soon, things will get ugly.'
Hacking away at the Spinorkia he contemplated his options. He was tempted tell someone: Ron, Harry, anyone. But then when he thought about their inability to even see something was wrong with her, he brushed the thought away. Of course he could always talk to her…
'No, damn it! I'm not some bloody hero! Harry is the one who's supposed be off saving the world, rescuing damsels in distress.'
But then Ginny wasn't a damsel in distress. She was a girl couldn't see any other way to deal with her pain than with a blade. And he couldn't let her keep doing it. He winced again this time due to his thoughts and not the thorns on the damn plant he was stuck pruning.
Was concern for someone always this much of a heartache? If so he had new respect for Ron and Hermione. Lord knew it was easier not to give a damn. MUCH easier. He however, didn't seem to have a choice.
Just then a sound made him turn around. He almost groaned out loud. Ginny was making her way through the plants, pushing silently between the leaves and branches of the miniature jungle. For one moment he thought she had come to cut, but seeing her hands relaxed he settled back in his corner to watch her. She was walking up and down the flowerbeds brushing the tips of the petals with her fingers, stopping at the irises and tulips. She seemed to be biding her time until she reached the herbs. Then she leaned over and began to collect samples.
'Probably something for Potions, or Herbology,' he thought. She kept glancing over to the flowerbeds as if debating something…but she seemed to rule against what ever it was. Maybe she was looking for something for her dance costume. The Dance…just thinking about it made him cringe. He had heard that Ginny was going to the ball with Colin Creavy and knowing that Harry had asked her first, it didn't take him long to guess that somehow Harry had broken off his date with her. He had had to use incredible self-restraint not to go over and punch Harry's face in. In fact the more he thought about the ball the more it seemed prone to disaster. Draco had not intended on going at all but now he felt obligated to… He admired the spunk it took for Ginny to still go after the stunt Harry pulled, but it didn't change the fact that he wanted to be there to make sure nothing would send her after her blade that evening. Just incase. Draco grimaced in self-disgust, why the hell did it have to matter so much he wondered?
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Ginny arranged the samples she was collecting for Potions class, blissfully unaware that she was being watched. Her mind was on the flowers and whether they contained faeries like the wild ones did. She was tempted to call them to feel the rush and splendor of that magical world…but she had classes and she knew that she wouldn't be able to concentrate if she called her tiny beings to her. One thing was for sure; she couldn't afford to fool around in anymore classes. After missing charms that day and plenty of classes in which her mind had not been in, she knew that her grades were going to suffer. Then there was the ball. She had very little time and a great deal of work to do. She just had to make sure she didn't loose her nerve…
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Harry stared out at the Quiddtich field that was now blanketed in a thin layer of snow. Right then he would have killed for a chance to play, just for the distraction. Everything had worked out well all in all…Ron was happy, Ginny was going with Colin, He was going with Parviti Patil (she did seem to always be the one who filled in his unscheduled dates) and everyone was pleased.
'So why does everything feel ten degrees off?' he wondered as his breath made steamy patterns on the window. Sighing he continued to watch the snowfall, until a tap on his shoulder made him jump.
"Dreaming of Quidditch?" asked Hermione laughing as she struggled to balance the stack of books under her arm. Harry took half of the books from her as they both made their way to the common sofa. Flopping down next to her he idly began to arrange the books according to size while she told him about the episode Ron had had with Snape that afternoon.
"…And he said, 'How was I supposed to know that scales on a dragon's tail were different from the ones on a dragon's nose?!' and Snape gives him this nasty -well Snapish- look and says 'Maybe if you bothered to read the lesson you would know what was going on in class! Ten points from Gryffindor! And Ron's turning all red in the face and he says…Harry? Harry?"
Harry jumped, startled and looked at Hermione sheepishly, "Sorry… You were saying, err Snape noticed Ron's potion was green instead of blue?"
Hermione snorted, "Yeah, about five minutes ago. Actually I had reached right up to before Ron got detention…So what are you thinking about?"
Harry rubbed the back of his head shamefacedly and said, "Just thinking about the ball is all."
"Real excited to be going with Parviti?" asked Hermione slyly.
Harry scowled at her and turned to pick at the lint on the chair. "NO…listen did Ron tell you about Ginny?"
Hermione's smile faded and she took on a rather stern expression, "Yes, he did. Surely you heard the big row we had in corridor about it."
"Do you think I did the right thing? I mean not going with her?" asked Harry reluctantly looking Hermione in the eye.
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Honestly? No. I think you should have told Ron that Ginny is a big girl and that the sooner he realizes that the better."
"But what if I had hurt her feelings?"
"Harry, she's sixteen! Give her a little credit! She's a lot tougher than you guys think."
Harry glared at the increasing pile of lint he was collecting. "I really screwed up this time didn't I?"
Hermione folded her arms across her chest. "Yeah, both of you did. Big time." She glanced over to him and took in his miserable expression, then softened a bit. "Look, what's done is done. If it makes you feel better it seems to have all worked out. Ginny doesn't look or act upset…she's even been kind of springy these days. Have you noticed that she's eating more? She used to skip either breakfast or dinner everyday, but now she there for all three meals. I was getting kind of worried about her, but she's seems-I don't know-happier now. Maybe this ball was just what she needed."
"Yeah, maybe…" said Harry unconvinced. Everything still felt ten degrees off balance.
Harry watched as Hermione opened one of her Advanced Arithmacy books and began to read while she toyed absently with the locket Ron had given her for her birthday. Suddenly Harry asked, "When did you know you were in love with Ron?"
Hermione looked up at him surprised. "Hmm?"
"When did you know, I mean really know, that you were in love with Ron? Was it all the blushing and heart pounding, and the hot and cold spells?"
Hermione blinked and began to think back over the span of the last two years. "No…it wasn't those things. I used to blush when I had a crush on Professor Lockhart, and Lord knows I wasn't in love with him. I think I really knew I was in love when he got sick in sixth year and we where having our finals. Suddenly finals, MY finals, didn't mean anything; they stopped seeming important, because he wasn't there to make fun of my studying habits."
Harry chuckled softly, he remembered that year well. He himself had been worried sick but Hermione had been positively frantic.
"When did you know that he loved you?" he asked.
Hermione closed the Arithmacy book, she was obviously not going to get anything done right then, and thought back over her relationship with Ron. "I think the fist time I knew, would have been at the last Yule Ball when he gave me those white lilies."
Harry cocked a bewildered eye.
"See everybody gets girls flowers, you know roses and stuff. But Ron got me white lilies. You know why?"
Harry shook his head, no.
"Because he figured out they were my favorite flowers. I mean we both know Ron isn't the most observant guy in the world, but he knew. I hadn't told anyone, because I thought it was too girly, not even Ginny. But he watched me and noticed enough about me that he found out. And I thought, anybody who could find that out had to be in love…It was one of the best days in my life."
Harry scratched his head in wonder. "I never would have thought of that."
"It's not something you think about, or even plan…it just happens, when your back is turned. Now, that's enough philosophical romance for one sitting. Get your Arithmacy book out and study…I KNOW you haven't touched your books all day."
Harry welcomed the work with relief…Arithmacy was simple, factual and neat. It made much more sense than love ever would.
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Ginny sat on her bed arranging the forget-me-nots out on her pillow. She had 'borrowed' them from Professor Sprout's green house and now she was enchanting them with an everlast charm so that they wouldn't fade before the ball.
The closer the day approached, the more nervous she got as her mind spun with all the possible things that could go wrong.
'I'm just going to enjoy myself,' she thought as she gathered up the flowers and began to pull out the periwinkle cloth for her dress. 'I'm going to prove that I'm not a child and not invisible and that's all. Nothing to it. It will be a snap.'
But the truth of the matter was that years of social withdrawal had taken their toll on her and she knew in her heart of hearts that the sooner the dance was over the better.
At first she had panicked when she went through her wardrobe and found she had nothing even remotely suitable to wear. She couldn't afford new robes and didn't have the time to make them and she had considered just calling the whole thing off. Amanda Peterson had saved her by showing off the gown she was going to wear to the ball three days earlier.
"That isn't a robe," Ginny had said when Amanda put on the pink long sleeved ball gown.
"I know, it's a Muggle dress my mother bought me. Isn't it grand?
"But you can't wear that to a wizard ball!" said Ginny
"Professor Dumbledore said it was costume party…we can wear what ever we want," Amanda insisted.
Ginny looked at the dress and had to admit that is was pretty. More importantly it required a great less amount of fabric than robes did a lot less sewing work. If she could find a simple one to copy…
Amanda had been very sweet about it; she even offered to let Ginny borrow something of hers as she had plenty of dress with her. Ginny declined, saying the clothes wouldn't fit anyway as Amanda was both taller and bustier than Ginny but after looking through the clothing she found a fairly simple one she thought she could copy in the amount of time she had.
That weekend Ginny surprised the gang by saying she wanted to go to Hogsmeade with everyone else. Hermione was delighted, saying Ginny needed to get out more and she needed to hang around with other girls. The end result was Ginny getting swoop off her feet in a Hogsmeade shopping spree.
Before she bought anything, though Ginny detoured into a small art shop. Though she was reluctant to give them up she knew it was the only way she was going to get any money and so she sold her faerie sketches for a reasonable price. Taking the money she had earned she made her way to the other girls, hoping it would be enough for all she needed.
Now sitting on her bed, she began to carefully cut out the light blue fabric and with her wand in hand she started the process of producing a new dress.
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The night of the dance Ginny sat in front of her mirror terrified. All day the frenzy had carried on, girls racing in and out, trying on this robe and magicing that costume. The dormitory was littered with makeup, perfume and hair equipment; and the noise was superhuman. Ginny felt a daze similar to the one she felt on the last day of school in her fifth year. With a petrified look on her face she slowly wandered down the stairs to the common room where the hustle had calmed some.
Standing unseen in the doorway, she saw Ron with his arms wrapped around Hermione's waist whispering something in her ear that made her blush and giggle. Harry was giving roses to Parviti and Colin kept telling Amanda that she was the prettiest thing he had seen all evening.
Something about the sight of them, all happy and content, blissfully oblivious of the havoc they had wrought upon her world made her previous anger come to a startling boil.
'I will NOT back out of this!' she thought furiously as she ran back up the stairs. Throwing herself once again in front of the mirror she shook down her hair from its haphazard bun and examined it against her face. It was pretty, if you liked coppery hair, but too long to complement her small face. With grim determination she took a pair of scissors and her wand and began to hack away. She didn't cut off all the initial length but layered it so that the top half hung around her chin and cascaded longer as it went down. 'Much better,' she thought as she brushed off the cut hairs and magiced them out of her way.
Pulling off her robes she put on her dress, pleased to see it fit in the right places. It was simple enough with a full skirt and a corset bodice that crisscrossed up the front in blue ribbons. The dress was sleeveless, as the four yards of fabric had depleted before sleeves could be made and the effect was cool and pretty on her slender body. At first she had worried endlessly over her scars, but finally she decided that the scabs from her last cutting session had already come off and her arms were very pale due to the fact that she always wore long sleeves and gloves. She spun around experimentally in front of the mirror; the dress was fitted but not choking and the filmy material hung well over her small, but not un-proportioned figure. Whispering a quick charm she smiled as the material gained a sparkling quality that added to the ambiance of her appearance.
Unsatisfied with her hair Ginny braided up the top half with forget-me-not's and blue ribbons leaving only tendrils of red locks down the caress her forehead and cheeks. Moving on she sat down to decide what to do with her face.
She was still terrified, but willpower and anger battled with her terror until she pushed it down, drowning it in her subconscious. The result was an adrenaline rush that made her flushed and sparkled, and practically giddy with anxiety and anticipation. She didn't need blush, and a week of force-feeding herself at every meal had made her cheeks lose the somewhat sunken look they had had before. A few charms later, her eyes and lips were to her satisfaction and taking the shawl she had made from the lining of one of her old robes she was almost ready to go.
Shoes had been a problem from the start, as she had nothing fancy and couldn't afford new ones, even with the money from her sketches. Finally she took a pair of old slippers and the leftover scraps from her dress and with some magic and a lot of needlework fashioned them into a pair of dancing slippers. That was all she needed she thought, because tonight she was going to dance until she dropped.
As she flew down the stairs, she was practically dancing already, for with each step she felt her conscious mind slip lower and lower under the choppy waves of the surface. Ginny didn't want to think tonight…she just wanted to dance and dance and dance…
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Colin was getting impatient. It was bad enough that Amanda was going to the dance with Justin Finch-Fletchley from Hufflepuff and he was stuck babysitting Ron's little sister, but to top it all she was running late as well. He stood up and began pacing the common room floor.
"Where is she anyways?" he thought, annoyed at the lateness of the hour. He was sure the music was starting…
"Colin are you still there?" Ginny called lightly as she tripped down the stairs.
"Ginny, where are you? We're going to be- Ginny?" He stopped short as she came in view. Colin blinked twice and said, "Lord, Gin, I hardly recognized you! You look lovely!"
Ginny gave a high sweet laugh. "Oh come now, no one with as many freckles as I do can be termed lovely. We both know you think Amanda is the prettiest thing you've ever seen!"
"I-I mean-"
But she stopped him with a kiss on the cheek and said, "Thank you for being a dear and waiting for me."
Colin tried to stutter an answer but she was already spinning ahead, tilting her ear forward. "Oh, listen! I think the music's already begun. Come on we don't want to be late." And she took his arm and led him out of the room.
When they entered the hall Ginny felt a wave of panic threaten to overcome her. There were so many people in the hall that it looked like a miniature festival with an array of colors and sounds. Fighting her great urge to flee she turned to Colin who was still gaping in surprise at her change in attitude and suggested they get punch first.
Colin led her to the table and brought her a glass of punch while Ginny fought to steady her trembling hands. But a blessed savior came when the dance music began to play.
"Colin will you dance with me?" she asked.
"Of course," he said. This date was getting better by minute he thought, he thought.
Pushing through the crowded room they made their way to the dance floor. As soon as she was there, Ginny felt the music wash over her in waves…this she understood, this she knew. Letting her conscious mind slip further, she imagined her self alone in the forest surrounded by her faeries and with that mental picture her body moved on its own accord. The faster the rhythm the better, because it required more concentration on the music and less on the people around her. She was vaguely aware that Colin was working hard to catch up with her and she could hear herself laughing as he spun her across the floor. 'I can go all night like this,' she thought. 'I don't have to feel anything…'
'I wonder if being dead is like this. Watching your body while your soul slips away…NO,' she thought to herself sternly 'Don't think, just move with the music.'
Ron looked over to where his sister was dancing with Colin and smiled. "See Hermione, I told you it would work out. Look how grown up she looks…I forget sometimes that she's sixteen."
"Yes I'm sure she noticed that. It's about time you realized what's going on with her," said Hermione the sternness in her voice loosing affect as he tickled her neck. But neither of them could see her flushed face or glazed eyes from where they were…and even if they had they probably wouldn't have guessed the turmoil raging inside her.
The first thing Harry saw was a flash of blue on the dance floor. He could hear Ginny's voice but he couldn't find a figure to associate it with…Then he saw her. Dancing around and around and laughing. She looked almost as alive as the night he had seen her with the fire sprites, but something was different. Harry had never seen Ginny as physically beautiful; she was pretty enough as redheads go, but not striking. Still, as he watch her dance he began to seriously wonder how he could have missed her all those years before.
'She looks so happy,' he thought 'And I've never heard her laugh some much ever. I wonder what Ron will say…'
Harry began to look for Ron in the crowd, but he couldn't see him. Asking Parviti if she had seen him, she said he had just left with Hermione and had promised to 'be back soon'. Harry felt rather relieved that he wasn't there…he didn't want Ron spoiling Ginny's fun as she enjoyed her first real dance since her third year at school. He watched her as she moved and mentally berated himself for the umpteenth time that he had broken off his date with her.
"Colin's probably thanking his lucky stars that he got a chance to be with her tonight," he muttered. She was laughing again. Harry began to wonder what Colin was saying that was so damn witty as he watched his best friend's sister glide across the hall.
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Draco almost choked on his punch when he saw her. Was that Ginny? He thought bewildered. Colin was grinning like a damn fool and she was on the dance floor with him laughing in her high sweet voice. For one moment Draco let her physical appearance wash over him, then he took in the scene before him for what it was.
Ginny was not an overly social person he knew. Circumstances had made her both shy and quiet and technically this whole Ball should have terrified her. And there she was dancing like she didn't have a care in the world. The song ended and Colin sat down exhausted, but Ginny just switched partners. Now she was dancing with Neville who everyone knew couldn't dance for the life of him. She didn't seem to care; in fact every time he stepped on her toes she just laughed and kept going. Draco didn't realize he was growling in his throat…There was something wrong with her laughter. It was too…sweet? High? Happy? He wasn't sure but something was wrong.
He pushed his way through the crowd to get a closer look. The dance was changing again. 'Good,' he thought. 'Now she'll sit down and I can talk to her…'
But she didn't sit down, she didn't even stand still. She was now with a Ravenclaw, someone he didn't know. Dancing and laughing, always laughing…Draco could feel his skin growing cold. Finally he slammed his punch glass sown on the table. This had gone on long enough; it was time to get her out of there before something went horribly horribly wrong.
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The longer Harry watched her the more he got the odd sensation that she was slipping away. He was tempted to laugh because he was sure that it was Ron's over protectiveness that was rubbing off on him…still. He began to push his way forward to the dance floor, but the crowd of people was hindering him hopelessly. 'Never mind…' he thought. 'She has to sit down sometime…and when she does, I'll talk to her.'
Ginny fought hard to ignore the pain that was beginning to creep into her thighs. She tired not to think at all, just to move and react as seemed fit. She drowned out the voice that screamed that everything she was doing was a lie. She knew she was trying to prove that she was not afraid, not a child and did not need to be protected. But she was losing herself and a part of her knew it.
'I doesn't matter,' she thought angrily. 'Just a little while longer and I'll be done…'
Cutting directly into her dance with Dean, Draco all but knocked the artist over saying, "I know you don't mind if I cut in."
Dean was grumbling but before he had a chance to react Draco had taken Ginny at least ten paces across the floor.
Ginny was momentarily startled at the intrusion, she opened her mouth to protest, but as he moved steadily into the movements of the dance she bit back her response, replacing it with something calmer. "Draco, how nice to see you looking so well this evening," she said airily regaining the glassy look to her eyes and smiling like he was some long lost friend.
Draco sighed harshly in frustration; for a moment he thought she had come back to her senses, but now she had slipped back into her little world…watching her laughing as though nothing was even remotely wrong made him incredibly angry. Didn't she see that she was fixing herself up for an awful ploy?!
"Ginny!" he finally hissed "What the hell is going on here!?"
She started in mock surprise and said, "Come now, Mr. Malfoy, you are a very intelligent person…I believe a dance is what is going on here." Then came the damn laughter.
Draco fought the urge to shake her.
"Listen Ginny, I know what's going on. This… this whole show tonight, is an act and you know what? You on a fear high right now. This may all seem fun, but you know what the catch is about highs? You always have to come down in the end and that's when you get hurt."
Ginny blinked for a moment and then smiled slowly, brushing her finger over his jaw line. "You know, concern suits you. Pointless though it is, a kind of worried snarl looks nicer on you than a disdaining smirk."
Draco rolled his eyes impatiently and took hold over her hand to spin her around as the move of the dance required. As her arms raised and caught the light it looked like a layer of fine lace was stretched over her skin. The sight made Draco's stomach twist and his anger dim to cold fear. She was such a butterfly, he thought and butterflies have such short lives…
"Ginny, listen, I know you don't like me or trust me, but this has got to stop. Come sit down. After this dance you come sit with me, or Harry if you want. You-you and Harry can talk or something, just a sit down."
"I don't want to sit down!" she insisted gaily. "I want to dance. You are a very good dancer, you know, better than Dean…"
"GINNY!" he growled "Will you STOP this!? Just please sit down before you get hurt…"
The unconscious part of Ginny mind was beginning to slowly quiver under his insistence. That was NOT good. She didn't want to think or feel or care at all. What was wrong with Draco? Why was he being this way, and making everything complicated? Why couldn't he just make some snide comment like before? 'Idon'tneedthisIdon'tneedthisIdon'tneedthis…' her mind chanted.
Finally in one sudden moment she burst into a jubilant laugh and before he could speak he brought her hand up to the sliver buckles at his shoulders and in one swift movement scraped her arm against it. Draco jumped at the unexpected move and let go of her quickly.
She fingered the bloodless scratch she had given herself and flashed it before him. Smiling that same eerie smile she said, "Didn't you tell me once that you bleed to know you're alive? See look, no blood… I must not be alive…so I guess I can't get hurt and you can stop worrying."
And before he could react, could scream, could pull her off the floor, she was in someone else arms, laughing.
And she was gone. Goyle had her and they were dancing to something very very slow. Draco's mind raced as he comprehended the words she had just said. He jumped as he stared at his own hands. His fingers were flexing.
'Okay, that's it. Enough of this shit. I'm getting her out of here if I have to drag her off the damn floor by her hair!' he swore as his mind raced. He watched as Ginny and Goyle rocked slowly…well he could wait. He would wait until the music stopped then he was getting her out of the room. He didn't know when it had become so important to him that she not get hurt but it had and that was all that mattered. Unconsciously he glanced over at the food table and was surprised to see Harry watching Ginny over the top of everyone's heads' with an expression bordering on concern. If Mr. Clueless over there had guessed something was wrong then things really were bad. He stared at Harry trying to decide whether the guy really cared for his fiery haired cutter or not. Whether he could deal with that sort of situation and if he would be good for her. Harry was the perfect hero, all he needed a suit of armor and a white horse. Was that what Ginny needed? He watched Harry for a few minutes trying to get an idea of his moves, and missing the scene between Ginny and Goyle behind him.
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"Ginny you look gorgeous tonight," said Goyle.
"Why thank you Goyle, how nice of you to notice…"
The pain was beginning to get to her. The fast dance she had done with Draco had been okay but the slow rhythm she was moving to now was threatening to make her knees buckle. Goyle was saying that he didn't realize what a nice figure she had. Ginny wasn't sure how to react to that comment so she heard herself laugh giving him some blasé comment in return. The pain in her legs was becoming excruciating….
"Gregory," he said smirking casually.
"Hmm…?" What was he saying, she thought.
"My name is actually Gregory. Goyle is my last name."
"Oh, Gregory, that's a nice name." She was afraid if this dance went on too much longer she was going to have to sit down…
"You DO like pretty enough to eat," he was saying.
Ginny wasn't sure what she replied, the pain her legs drowned out her answer. She focused her mind on the music so that she could keep moving ever so slowly…soon this song would end and she would sit---
All thoughts fled her mind in one mind blowing moment. Goyle's hands, which had been previously residing at her back, were wandering down lower than they should have. She froze in unspoken horror. He had large rough hands, and the right one left her back entirely and began to travel up the front of her dress. In one moment the beautiful glass illusion of the evening shattered into a thousands shards and she felt reality crash down on her.
Pulling out of his arms she cried, "What are you doing?!"
Goyle was grinning like a cat eyeing a canary; he looked her over like she was desert. Chuckling in a sick, sizing way he said, "Oh come on Ginny, we were just getting started." He reached for her again.
Ginny jumped back with pure horror painted in every line of her face. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Where had she gone wrong? Suddenly she looked around her at all the people that surrounded her. It was like for the first time she noticed that the entire school was watching her and all the old fear she had fought to drown out before, crashed down on her in one big tidal wave. Her whole body trembled, her hands were shaking uncontrollably. 'What on earth was I thinking?' she screamed on her mind. And through all that Goyle was reaching for her again…
"I have to go," she said as she felt her mind reel. She turned, located the nearest exist and began to push her way through the people, trying to get out of the crowd in the room that had suddenly become claustrophobic. As she pushed forward not paying attention to anyone around her, she felt the familiar pressure behind her eyes of unshed-able tears and the crushing pain in her chest that accompanied them. This was her worst nightmare and she hadn't even dreamt it. If only…if only it was to end there.
