Monday
When Marita had gotten to her old room last night, she put her bag down and lay across her bed. She was so angry with Sean for what he had done, but as her anger subsided, the hurt surfaced. Sean had lied to her and that was something he had never done before or at least that is what she thought. Tears formed in Marita's eyes as she wondered if he had lied to her about other things. In her heart, she knew he had not, but her mind raced with the possibility that he had. She had cried herself to sleep, not knowing that Sean had come to apologize and take her home.
Marita woke up and grabbed for Sean. As she felt the cold sheets next to her, she remembered that she had walked out on him. Marita felt betrayed by Sean. Sean had deliberately misled her and to Marita, that was a lie.
"You know why he did it. You know him better than anyone. He just wants to build a life for you and he wants to do it by himself" MM
"But he lied to me" MH
"If the truth be told, I guess he did" MM
"And he didn't even come to get me last night" MH cried
"Well, I'm not going to stay in bed all day and pout" MM
Marita got out of bed and got ready for work. When she came out of her room, she saw Isaac sitting at the table.
"Morning" he said.
"Morning Pa Pa" she said. "Have you eaten?"
"No"
"I'll cook us something" she said as she walked into the kitchen.
"You don't have to do that, baby girl" he said as he looked at her puffy eyes.
"I don't mind" she said as she walked into the kitchen.
Isaac was ready to get his shotgun and go hunting. Hunting for Sean. Marita had been crying all night and Isaac knew Sean was the cause. What had he done? One thing Sean had not done was take care of his baby girl. If he was doing what he was suppose to, she would be home with him, not here with Isaac.
Isaac's first instinct was to get to the bottom of this, but he realized that Marita was a married woman now and he could not run to her rescue like he did when she was a child. He would keep that attitude as long as it was humanly possible for a father to do so.
Isaac set the table then read until Marita had finished cooking breakfast.
"You want to talk about it sweetheart" Isaac asked while he ate and Marita picked at her food.
"No, not really" she said sadly.
"You sure?"
"Yeah" she said as she continued to pick at her food.
After Isaac finished eating and Marita finished picking, they cleared the table.
"I'm headed to the stables Marita" Isaac called out to her from the front room.
"OK, Pa Pa. Have a good day" she called back to him from the kitchen.
After Marita washed the dishes, she walked up to the house. Marita was still angry with Sean for taking out that loan without talking to her about it. He had no right to do that. This was a marriage and decisions were made together. He needed to learn that or he would not be married for long.
*******************
When Sean returned to the cabin last night, his anger was immediately replaced with a feeling emptiness. Marita was not home and he could feel her absence. Sean thought about going back to Isaac's and demanding that Marita opened her door. If it were necessary, he would throw her over his shoulder and bring her back where she belonged - with him. As he seriously considered carrying out his plan, he remembered that Isaac was there. More problems would arise if he took Marita, kicking and screaming, out of her father's house, so Sean abandoned his plan. He instead tossed and turned all night and fell into a restless sleep just before sunrise.
Sean woke up and grabbed for Marita. As he felt the cold sheets next to him, he remembered that she had walked out on him. Sean was cranky because he had only gotten 3 hours of sleep. His crankiness quickly turned into anger as he remembered that Marita ignored him when he tried to talk to her.
"Man, I miss her" SH
"She should have opened that door!" SM
"Well, can you blame her? You lied to her" SH
"Yeah I blame her! She's MY wife and she should be in my bed!" SM ignored the part about his lying
"Just like it's YOUR business" SH
"She knows I didn't mean that!" SM
"You need to tell her" SH
Sean got out of bed and washed up and shaved. He needed to go to the warehouse but he wanted to talk to Marita first. He dressed and headed to his Pa's. When he walked into the house, Lexy was coming out of the study.
"Hi Sean" she said.
"Hi" he said, not really paying her any attention as he walked to the study door. He looked in and did not see Marita.
"If you're looking for Marita, she's not here" Lexy informed him.
"Where is she?" he said a little harshly as he turned and looked down at Lexy.
Lexy frowned at him. "I don't know."
"Did she come to the house this morning?" he asked.
"Yeah" Lexy answered. "Didn't you see her before she left the cabin?"
"No"
"Why not? Did she leave before you woke up or" Lexy said as ideas formulated in her mind, "did you do something to make her mad at you?" Lexy said.
"It's none of your business Lexy!" he snapped at her.
"What's wrong with you?" Lexy asked as she tooted her nose up at him.
"Nothing!"
"Yes it is" Lexy insisted.
"I SAID NOTHING!" he yelled at her.
"Sean what are you yelling at Lexy for?!" Alice said with a frown as she came down the stairs.
Sean looked up at her. "Alice do you know where Marita is?" he asked in the same harsh voice, ignoring her question.
"No" Alice answered, her frown intensifying.
"Where is Pa?" he asked, his voice still harsh.
"I think he's in the stables" Alice said, with the same harsh voice.
Sean turned and walked out of the house.
"What's his problem?" Alice asked Lexy.
"I don't know. I think Marita's mad at him or something."
Sean rode to the stables, but did not find Ned, so he headed into town.
****************
Marita had decided to walk down by the river to think. When she got there, she sat near the riverbank, picking the grass.
"I hope you're not too upset." Marita heard after she had been there several minutes.
Marita looked up to see Vivian bending to sit down.
"It looks like both of us might be upset" Marita said. Both women knowing that the other would come down by the river when she was upset.
"You want to talk about it?" Vivian asked.
"No. You?" Marita asked, noticing that Vivian had been crying.
"Clay expects me to move into some cabin when we get married. I told him that he could move into my house, but he refuses. He said I was a spoiled brat and maybe we shouldn't get married because I would rather have my servants than him" Vivian said as she started crying again.
"Would you rather be in your house with the servants or in a cabin with Clay?"
"With Clay" Vivian said adamantly. "But NOT in a cabin!"
"I'm sure it'll be a big adjustment for you, but once you get settled, it won't be bad at all."
Vivian looked at Marita with doubt. Marita laughed.
"Why did you tell Clay 'yes' when he asked you to marry him?" Marita asked.
"Because I love him!"
"And you said 'yes', knowing that he couldn't give you the kind of life you're used to. At least not yet anyway" Marita reasoned.
"You're right" Vivian admitted after a minute of thought. "I love him so much, Marita, and I don't want to lose him."
"I'm sure you won't. I'm also sure that one day Clay will be able to give you everything you could ever want."
"All I really want is him."
Marita smiled. "Well, I think you'll be able to adjust to living in a cabin."
Vivian thought about that. She did not realize that loving Clay would cost her the comforts of a big house and servants. But then she realized that the big house and servants did not make her happy. Clay did. She knew that the sacrifice would be worth it for Clay, even if she did have to live in a cabin.
"I hope he's not too mad at me. I need to go and talk to him now" Vivian said as she stood up. "I'll come back after I talk to Clay, if you'd like," she offered.
"No, that's OK. I'm about to head back in a few minutes."
"Alright" Vivian said then paused for a second. "Thank you again, Marita" she smiled.
"You're welcome" Marita smiled back.
****************
When Sean got back to the farm, he headed straight for his father's house. This time, he found Marita in the study working. She was looking as beautiful as ever.
"Hey" he said quietly as he closed the study door.
"Hello" Marita said as she continued working.
"Marita" Sean said as he walked near the desk. "I'm sorry about what I said last night. You know I didn't mean it."
"Why did you say it" MM
Marita listened to him as she continued her work. She wasn't ready to accept his apology yet. Sean looked at her hoping for a response. When he didn't get one, he tried again.
"Marita, you know I love you and everything I have is yours. I was mad. I spoke out of anger and I regret that. PLEASE forgive me" he begged.
When he said 'I love you', Marita's defenses crumbled. She looked up at him and saw the regret in his eyes.
Sean looked into her eyes and saw her forgiveness. He began smiling as he walked closer to the desk. Marita stood as he was about to come around the side of the desk. She went around the opposite side and they stood at opposite ends of the desk facing each other.
"What about the loan?" Marita asked.
Sean's hopes were dashed because he thought he had been forgiven for everything. He had gotten over the first hurdle - the 'MY' business statement. However, he had two more hurdles to jump - getting the loan without talking to Marita and lying to Marita about using her money. The last hurdle would be his toughest.
"Marita" Ned said as he opened the study door. Both Marita and Sean turned to look at Ned.
"Hi, son" Ned said.
"Hi, Pa" Sean said.
"Marita, I need you to proofread this correspondence for me. I need to get it out as soon as possible" Ned said.
"Alright Mr. Logan" she said to him as he handed her the correspondence.
"I'll talk to you later then" Sean said to Marita. "I need to go back into town for a meeting".
Marita just looked at him and he mouthed 'I love you' before leaving.
Ned watched the by-play between them and guessed that there was trouble in paradise.
When Sean got outside, he went by the horse track.
"Hey Peanut" Sean said solemnly.
"Hi" Lexy said as she timed Clay.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you this morning."
"It's OK" she said. "What did you do to Marita?"
Sean gave her that 'none of your business look' and Lexy knew she would not be getting anything out of him. Sean watched as Clay made his last turned and crossed the finished line. He looked down at the timer in Lexy's hand.
"You cut off 5 seconds, Clay!" Lexy said as Clay trotted over to them.
"You're kidding" Clay was surprised and pleased.
"No I'm not."
"Looks like you'll be ready for the Derby" Sean said to Clay.
"Yeah" Clay smiled "it does."
The three siblings discussed the horse and the race for the next few minutes, then Sean went back into town.
*********************
Sean rushed home that evening fully expecting to see Marita cooking, doing the books. Doing something, anything, he just expected her to be there. He would try to explain to her why he got the loan and would promise her that he would never do anything like that again.
"Marita" he called when he opened the cabin door. As he stood in the doorway, Sean knew she was not there. He again felt her absence and was dejected. It was late and he knew she was not at his father's.
"I need her here with me" SH
Sean immediately turned around and closed the door behind him. For the second night in a row he went to Isaac's looking for his wife.
"She's in her room" Isaac said when he opened the door and saw that it was Sean.
It took every thing in Isaac's will to resist the temptation to call Sean out and demand to know what he had done to his baby girl.
As he walked to her room, Sean dreaded that Marita might give him the same treatment she gave him last night. He was determined that if she did, he would not leave until she opened the door and talked to him.
KNOCK KNOCK
"Come in" she said.
Sean opened the door and found Marita lying on her bed. When she saw that it was him, she wiped her tears off her face, sat up and looked at him. Sean closed the door, walked over to the bed and sat down. They sat side by side, both looking down at their laps.
"Come home, Marita. I need you there with me" he pleaded with her.
"What about the loan?" Marita said.
"Can we talk about this at home?" Sean said. Sean wanted to get her back to the cabin. It was so empty without her. Even if he had to sleep in the front room, as long as she was there, he would be happy.
"No" she answered.
"You know why I took out the loan" he said.
"No I don't. Please explain it to me" she said.
"Marita, we wanted that land. All of the money was tied up in this year's crop expenses and the house. I wanted to get the house finished so we could moved in as soon as possible" he explained.
As Marita listened to him, she realized that it was not a case of him just going off and getting the loan without discussing it with her. It was a case of him not wanting to bring up the issue of using the revenue from the herbicide business or 'her' money, as he like to put it.
"ALL of OUR money was not tied up in this year's crop expenses and the house. There was the revenue from the herbicide business."
"Marita, please. I need to do this for us" he said.
Marita understood his need but he had to understand that when he let her believe he would use 'her' money to buy Vivian's land, he had weakened the foundation of their relationship - trust. Marita needed him to understand that before they could take another step toward resolving this problem.
"Why didn't you talk to me before you went to the bank?" she asked.
Sean felt the noose being tightened around his neck. He was not ready to admit to Marita that he misled her about the money.
"Marita, I NEVER said I would use your money" he said defensively.
"Why didn't you talk to me before you went to the bank?" she asked again.
"We never specifically said we would use your money to buy Vivian's land" he said, trying to get around admitting he had indeed mislead her.
"We never said we would get a loan either" Marita countered.
Sean held his head down. He had no answer for that. They sat in silence for the next few minutes, both wishing they could go back in time before they bought Vivian's land. Marita wished she had made it clear that she was expecting Sean to use the herbicide revenue. Sean wished he had made it clear that he did not want to use 'her' money.
"Marita" Sean said, trying to explain his position. "I told you that I wanted you to use your money for you. I don't want you to have to support us. That's my job."
"Sean, the issue is no longer me supporting us. The issue is you lied to me when you let me believe you would use the herbicide revenue" Marita said as her tears started again.
"I DID NOT lie to you!" Sean said in a raised voice. He hated to admit that he indeed lied to her.
"What do you call it then?" Marita asked as she turned and looked at his profile.
Sean had no answer for her.
"You call it lying. You lied to me Sean" Marita said in a hurt voice as her tears spilled over.
Sean's guilt was multiplied as he heard the hurt in her voice, then turned and faced her and saw the tears running down her face. "I'm SO sorry, Marita. You know it wasn't my intention to deliberately lie to you" he admitted. "You know that. And you know I love you and would never hurt you".
"When you lied to me, Sean, you hurt me" she said. She was happy to hear him admit what he had done but she was still hurt.
"I am sorry Marita. I mean that, you've got to know I mean it" he said as he looked at her with eyes that were filled with sorrow and regret.
Marita looked into his eyes and knew he was sorry but she was not ready to forgive him yet. The hurt was still too fresh. She got up and walked over to her door.
"Goodnight, Sean" she said as she opened the door.
Sean looked at her in disbelief. She was sending him home alone. Sean stood up and walked to the door. He stopped in front of her and looked at her. She returned his stare and he saw the sadness that he was responsible for putting into those beautiful eyes.
"Marita, please come home. You belong with me. I need you" he begged.
All Marita did was look at him and Sean knew she would not be coming home with him tonight.
"You know she loves you. You did hurt her. Give her time" SH
"I love you, Marita and I am sorry" he said as sadness clouded his eyes.
The two stood there looking into each other eyes, as love and sadness lingered between them.
***********************
Tuesday
Sean had another restless night of sleep. When he opened his eyes, he felt like he had been alone for an eternity. It had only been 1 day and Sean was miserable. He dragged himself out of bed, got dressed and started his day.
Marita had another night of tears. When she opened her eyes, she felt the pain of betrayal. She was heartbroken. Eventually, she pulled herself out of bed and started her day.
When Marita got to work, there was a single rose lying on the desk. A folded note with her name scrawled on it lay next to it. Marita smiled as she remembered how Miss Fisher, their tutor, tried, but to no avail, to teach Sean better penmanship.
"I'm sorry" the note said. A tear escaped down her cheek as those two words conveyed Sean's love. She inhaled the sweet fragrance of the rose before laying the rose down and going to get a vase. She returned to the study and placed the vase on the desk and put the rose in it. However, she still wasn't ready to forgive him.
After Marita ate lunch, she went into the study to finish her accounts for the day. Another rose and another note was waiting for her.
"I love you"
"Forgive him" MM
"I still hurt" MH
At the end of her day, Marita cleared off the desk. As she was about to get up and leave, Lexy came into the study.
"Hi, Marita" she said.
Marita looked up and smiled at Lexy. She had a rose and a note in her hand.
"These are from Sean" Lexy said as she handed them to Marita. "What did he do?"
Marita laughed at Lexy's straightforwardness. If she wanted to know something, she was not afraid to ask.
Marita smiled at her and gave her a look that said 'That's none of your business, honey'. Lexy understood the unspoken rebuke because Sean gave her the same look when she asked him what he had done to Marita.
Lexy stood there with her hands on her hips as Marita opened the note.
"I miss you"
"I miss you too" MH
She put the rose in the vase with the other two and put the note in her side pocket.
"Are you going to stay and eat supper with us?" Sean had instructed her to ask. He was hoping Marita would accept the invitation. He also hoped that being with the family would make her long for their family of two and she would come home.
"No, not tonight Lexy" Marita said as she put her arm around Lexy's shoulders and they walked out of the study.
Both Sean and Marita went to bed miserable.
*******************
Wednesday morning
A rose. A note. "I'm sorry"
Wednesday after lunch
A rose. A note. "I love you"
Wednesday before Marita went to her Pa's
A rose. A note. "I miss you"
********************
"Do you know what's going on between our children?" Ned asked Isaac as they sat down for a drink.
"Nope. I was hoping you would know" Isaac said.
"Marita's seems sad and that's not like her" Ned said.
"I know. When she comes home....." Isaac started.
"Comes home?" Ned interrupted. "What do you mean 'when she comes home'?" he couldn't believe Marita had left Sean.
"Sunday night, she came home and has been there ever since" Isaac informed him.
"So, that explains Sean's behavior. I haven't seen him up at the house and when I do see him, he acts worse than Marita does" Ned said.
Both fathers pondered what could have caused this separation between their children.
******************
Sean sat and waited for Marita to pass by on her way to her father's house. When he saw her coming, he stood and approached her.
"Hey" he said.
"Hi" she said in a very sad voice.
"When are you coming home?" he asked as they walked.
"I don't want to talked about it Sean."
"Please Marita, come home."
When Marita remained silent, Sean's temper surfaced. "WHAT do you want me to do Marita?! I said I was sorry! I don't know what else I can do!"
"There's nothing else you can do"
They continued to walk and when they reached Isaac's house, Sean watched as Marita walked into the house and closed the door, leaving him alone again.
********************
Thursday morning
A rose. A note. "I'm sorry"
Thursday after lunch
A rose. A note. "I love you"
Thursday before Marita went to Aunt Eleanor's
A rose. A note. "I miss you"
"Hi Auntie" Marita said as she walked into her Aunt Eleanor's house. They were going to spend the afternoon filling orders they had received a few days ago.
"Hey, Mo" Auntie said, using Marita's nickname.
Aunt Eleanor noticed Marita's sadness and asked "What's wrong, chile".
"Nothing" Marita said as she gave her aunt a weak smile as she walked over to the table and set her basket of flowers down.
"Well, what's that long face for?"
"Sean and I had a fight" Marita sighed as she sat down.
"'Bout what?" Aunt Eleanor asked.
"He got a loan from the bank without talking to me about it. He just refuses to use the money I earn to help with the tobacco business" Marita said in frustration. "And" she continued as hurt filled her voice, "he lied to me. He let me think he used the money from our business to buy some more crop land when he actually got a loan from the bank."
"Well, baby, men are like that. They think they have to do it all themselves. They think they are less than a man if they take money from a woman" Auntie explained.
"But he LIED to me" Marita said as tears formed in her eyes.
"You think he wanted to lie to you" Auntie said.
"No" Marita admitted.
"So, you wallowin' in self-pity, huh?" Aunt Eleanor guessed.
"He LIED to me, Auntie. And that hurt" Marita insisted.
"So" Auntie smiled, "you wallowin' in hurt".
Marita thought her aunt would support her. "Are you saying I'm wrong for being hurt?!"
"No, chile" Aunt Eleanor patted her hand. "You still love him?".
"YES!" Marita was adamant.
Auntie smiled. "Has he said he was sorry for lyin'?"
"Yes" Marita admitted.
"You believe him?"
"Yes"
"Have you forgiven him?"
"Yes" Marita said as she was beginning to see Aunt Eleanor's point.
"Well, what you sad about? Baby, you caint let the time pass you by while you nurse your hurt. If you know he didn't wanna lie, and you forgave him and you still love him, let him make it up to you. I know he will". Auntie had known Sean since he was a youngun in wetcloths. She also knew how much he loved her niece.
"And he can't make it up to you while you're hiding at Isaac's" Auntie said with a raised brow. Auntie seemed to know everything that went on at the farm.
From Auntie's tone, Marita knew she was about to be chastised. Marita looked at her Aunt and waited for her rebuke.
"Marita, baby, you can't go runnin' back to Isaac every time you and Sean have a fight. He's your husband and you belong with him. You're not a little girl anymore and your place is with him. Don't give the devil place to come in and destroy your marriage. You have to learn how to work out your problems, not run away from them. I know you love that boy and I know you two will work this out. So I suggest you get your butt back to that cabin."
Marita was quiet for the rest of the time she was at Auntie's. Her heart continued to wallow in self-pity and hurt, but her mind thought over Aunt Eleanor's words.
That night, Marita had a restless sleep as she realized that the longer she was away from Sean, the more miserable she became.
To Be Continued........................
When Marita had gotten to her old room last night, she put her bag down and lay across her bed. She was so angry with Sean for what he had done, but as her anger subsided, the hurt surfaced. Sean had lied to her and that was something he had never done before or at least that is what she thought. Tears formed in Marita's eyes as she wondered if he had lied to her about other things. In her heart, she knew he had not, but her mind raced with the possibility that he had. She had cried herself to sleep, not knowing that Sean had come to apologize and take her home.
Marita woke up and grabbed for Sean. As she felt the cold sheets next to her, she remembered that she had walked out on him. Marita felt betrayed by Sean. Sean had deliberately misled her and to Marita, that was a lie.
"You know why he did it. You know him better than anyone. He just wants to build a life for you and he wants to do it by himself" MM
"But he lied to me" MH
"If the truth be told, I guess he did" MM
"And he didn't even come to get me last night" MH cried
"Well, I'm not going to stay in bed all day and pout" MM
Marita got out of bed and got ready for work. When she came out of her room, she saw Isaac sitting at the table.
"Morning" he said.
"Morning Pa Pa" she said. "Have you eaten?"
"No"
"I'll cook us something" she said as she walked into the kitchen.
"You don't have to do that, baby girl" he said as he looked at her puffy eyes.
"I don't mind" she said as she walked into the kitchen.
Isaac was ready to get his shotgun and go hunting. Hunting for Sean. Marita had been crying all night and Isaac knew Sean was the cause. What had he done? One thing Sean had not done was take care of his baby girl. If he was doing what he was suppose to, she would be home with him, not here with Isaac.
Isaac's first instinct was to get to the bottom of this, but he realized that Marita was a married woman now and he could not run to her rescue like he did when she was a child. He would keep that attitude as long as it was humanly possible for a father to do so.
Isaac set the table then read until Marita had finished cooking breakfast.
"You want to talk about it sweetheart" Isaac asked while he ate and Marita picked at her food.
"No, not really" she said sadly.
"You sure?"
"Yeah" she said as she continued to pick at her food.
After Isaac finished eating and Marita finished picking, they cleared the table.
"I'm headed to the stables Marita" Isaac called out to her from the front room.
"OK, Pa Pa. Have a good day" she called back to him from the kitchen.
After Marita washed the dishes, she walked up to the house. Marita was still angry with Sean for taking out that loan without talking to her about it. He had no right to do that. This was a marriage and decisions were made together. He needed to learn that or he would not be married for long.
*******************
When Sean returned to the cabin last night, his anger was immediately replaced with a feeling emptiness. Marita was not home and he could feel her absence. Sean thought about going back to Isaac's and demanding that Marita opened her door. If it were necessary, he would throw her over his shoulder and bring her back where she belonged - with him. As he seriously considered carrying out his plan, he remembered that Isaac was there. More problems would arise if he took Marita, kicking and screaming, out of her father's house, so Sean abandoned his plan. He instead tossed and turned all night and fell into a restless sleep just before sunrise.
Sean woke up and grabbed for Marita. As he felt the cold sheets next to him, he remembered that she had walked out on him. Sean was cranky because he had only gotten 3 hours of sleep. His crankiness quickly turned into anger as he remembered that Marita ignored him when he tried to talk to her.
"Man, I miss her" SH
"She should have opened that door!" SM
"Well, can you blame her? You lied to her" SH
"Yeah I blame her! She's MY wife and she should be in my bed!" SM ignored the part about his lying
"Just like it's YOUR business" SH
"She knows I didn't mean that!" SM
"You need to tell her" SH
Sean got out of bed and washed up and shaved. He needed to go to the warehouse but he wanted to talk to Marita first. He dressed and headed to his Pa's. When he walked into the house, Lexy was coming out of the study.
"Hi Sean" she said.
"Hi" he said, not really paying her any attention as he walked to the study door. He looked in and did not see Marita.
"If you're looking for Marita, she's not here" Lexy informed him.
"Where is she?" he said a little harshly as he turned and looked down at Lexy.
Lexy frowned at him. "I don't know."
"Did she come to the house this morning?" he asked.
"Yeah" Lexy answered. "Didn't you see her before she left the cabin?"
"No"
"Why not? Did she leave before you woke up or" Lexy said as ideas formulated in her mind, "did you do something to make her mad at you?" Lexy said.
"It's none of your business Lexy!" he snapped at her.
"What's wrong with you?" Lexy asked as she tooted her nose up at him.
"Nothing!"
"Yes it is" Lexy insisted.
"I SAID NOTHING!" he yelled at her.
"Sean what are you yelling at Lexy for?!" Alice said with a frown as she came down the stairs.
Sean looked up at her. "Alice do you know where Marita is?" he asked in the same harsh voice, ignoring her question.
"No" Alice answered, her frown intensifying.
"Where is Pa?" he asked, his voice still harsh.
"I think he's in the stables" Alice said, with the same harsh voice.
Sean turned and walked out of the house.
"What's his problem?" Alice asked Lexy.
"I don't know. I think Marita's mad at him or something."
Sean rode to the stables, but did not find Ned, so he headed into town.
****************
Marita had decided to walk down by the river to think. When she got there, she sat near the riverbank, picking the grass.
"I hope you're not too upset." Marita heard after she had been there several minutes.
Marita looked up to see Vivian bending to sit down.
"It looks like both of us might be upset" Marita said. Both women knowing that the other would come down by the river when she was upset.
"You want to talk about it?" Vivian asked.
"No. You?" Marita asked, noticing that Vivian had been crying.
"Clay expects me to move into some cabin when we get married. I told him that he could move into my house, but he refuses. He said I was a spoiled brat and maybe we shouldn't get married because I would rather have my servants than him" Vivian said as she started crying again.
"Would you rather be in your house with the servants or in a cabin with Clay?"
"With Clay" Vivian said adamantly. "But NOT in a cabin!"
"I'm sure it'll be a big adjustment for you, but once you get settled, it won't be bad at all."
Vivian looked at Marita with doubt. Marita laughed.
"Why did you tell Clay 'yes' when he asked you to marry him?" Marita asked.
"Because I love him!"
"And you said 'yes', knowing that he couldn't give you the kind of life you're used to. At least not yet anyway" Marita reasoned.
"You're right" Vivian admitted after a minute of thought. "I love him so much, Marita, and I don't want to lose him."
"I'm sure you won't. I'm also sure that one day Clay will be able to give you everything you could ever want."
"All I really want is him."
Marita smiled. "Well, I think you'll be able to adjust to living in a cabin."
Vivian thought about that. She did not realize that loving Clay would cost her the comforts of a big house and servants. But then she realized that the big house and servants did not make her happy. Clay did. She knew that the sacrifice would be worth it for Clay, even if she did have to live in a cabin.
"I hope he's not too mad at me. I need to go and talk to him now" Vivian said as she stood up. "I'll come back after I talk to Clay, if you'd like," she offered.
"No, that's OK. I'm about to head back in a few minutes."
"Alright" Vivian said then paused for a second. "Thank you again, Marita" she smiled.
"You're welcome" Marita smiled back.
****************
When Sean got back to the farm, he headed straight for his father's house. This time, he found Marita in the study working. She was looking as beautiful as ever.
"Hey" he said quietly as he closed the study door.
"Hello" Marita said as she continued working.
"Marita" Sean said as he walked near the desk. "I'm sorry about what I said last night. You know I didn't mean it."
"Why did you say it" MM
Marita listened to him as she continued her work. She wasn't ready to accept his apology yet. Sean looked at her hoping for a response. When he didn't get one, he tried again.
"Marita, you know I love you and everything I have is yours. I was mad. I spoke out of anger and I regret that. PLEASE forgive me" he begged.
When he said 'I love you', Marita's defenses crumbled. She looked up at him and saw the regret in his eyes.
Sean looked into her eyes and saw her forgiveness. He began smiling as he walked closer to the desk. Marita stood as he was about to come around the side of the desk. She went around the opposite side and they stood at opposite ends of the desk facing each other.
"What about the loan?" Marita asked.
Sean's hopes were dashed because he thought he had been forgiven for everything. He had gotten over the first hurdle - the 'MY' business statement. However, he had two more hurdles to jump - getting the loan without talking to Marita and lying to Marita about using her money. The last hurdle would be his toughest.
"Marita" Ned said as he opened the study door. Both Marita and Sean turned to look at Ned.
"Hi, son" Ned said.
"Hi, Pa" Sean said.
"Marita, I need you to proofread this correspondence for me. I need to get it out as soon as possible" Ned said.
"Alright Mr. Logan" she said to him as he handed her the correspondence.
"I'll talk to you later then" Sean said to Marita. "I need to go back into town for a meeting".
Marita just looked at him and he mouthed 'I love you' before leaving.
Ned watched the by-play between them and guessed that there was trouble in paradise.
When Sean got outside, he went by the horse track.
"Hey Peanut" Sean said solemnly.
"Hi" Lexy said as she timed Clay.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you this morning."
"It's OK" she said. "What did you do to Marita?"
Sean gave her that 'none of your business look' and Lexy knew she would not be getting anything out of him. Sean watched as Clay made his last turned and crossed the finished line. He looked down at the timer in Lexy's hand.
"You cut off 5 seconds, Clay!" Lexy said as Clay trotted over to them.
"You're kidding" Clay was surprised and pleased.
"No I'm not."
"Looks like you'll be ready for the Derby" Sean said to Clay.
"Yeah" Clay smiled "it does."
The three siblings discussed the horse and the race for the next few minutes, then Sean went back into town.
*********************
Sean rushed home that evening fully expecting to see Marita cooking, doing the books. Doing something, anything, he just expected her to be there. He would try to explain to her why he got the loan and would promise her that he would never do anything like that again.
"Marita" he called when he opened the cabin door. As he stood in the doorway, Sean knew she was not there. He again felt her absence and was dejected. It was late and he knew she was not at his father's.
"I need her here with me" SH
Sean immediately turned around and closed the door behind him. For the second night in a row he went to Isaac's looking for his wife.
"She's in her room" Isaac said when he opened the door and saw that it was Sean.
It took every thing in Isaac's will to resist the temptation to call Sean out and demand to know what he had done to his baby girl.
As he walked to her room, Sean dreaded that Marita might give him the same treatment she gave him last night. He was determined that if she did, he would not leave until she opened the door and talked to him.
KNOCK KNOCK
"Come in" she said.
Sean opened the door and found Marita lying on her bed. When she saw that it was him, she wiped her tears off her face, sat up and looked at him. Sean closed the door, walked over to the bed and sat down. They sat side by side, both looking down at their laps.
"Come home, Marita. I need you there with me" he pleaded with her.
"What about the loan?" Marita said.
"Can we talk about this at home?" Sean said. Sean wanted to get her back to the cabin. It was so empty without her. Even if he had to sleep in the front room, as long as she was there, he would be happy.
"No" she answered.
"You know why I took out the loan" he said.
"No I don't. Please explain it to me" she said.
"Marita, we wanted that land. All of the money was tied up in this year's crop expenses and the house. I wanted to get the house finished so we could moved in as soon as possible" he explained.
As Marita listened to him, she realized that it was not a case of him just going off and getting the loan without discussing it with her. It was a case of him not wanting to bring up the issue of using the revenue from the herbicide business or 'her' money, as he like to put it.
"ALL of OUR money was not tied up in this year's crop expenses and the house. There was the revenue from the herbicide business."
"Marita, please. I need to do this for us" he said.
Marita understood his need but he had to understand that when he let her believe he would use 'her' money to buy Vivian's land, he had weakened the foundation of their relationship - trust. Marita needed him to understand that before they could take another step toward resolving this problem.
"Why didn't you talk to me before you went to the bank?" she asked.
Sean felt the noose being tightened around his neck. He was not ready to admit to Marita that he misled her about the money.
"Marita, I NEVER said I would use your money" he said defensively.
"Why didn't you talk to me before you went to the bank?" she asked again.
"We never specifically said we would use your money to buy Vivian's land" he said, trying to get around admitting he had indeed mislead her.
"We never said we would get a loan either" Marita countered.
Sean held his head down. He had no answer for that. They sat in silence for the next few minutes, both wishing they could go back in time before they bought Vivian's land. Marita wished she had made it clear that she was expecting Sean to use the herbicide revenue. Sean wished he had made it clear that he did not want to use 'her' money.
"Marita" Sean said, trying to explain his position. "I told you that I wanted you to use your money for you. I don't want you to have to support us. That's my job."
"Sean, the issue is no longer me supporting us. The issue is you lied to me when you let me believe you would use the herbicide revenue" Marita said as her tears started again.
"I DID NOT lie to you!" Sean said in a raised voice. He hated to admit that he indeed lied to her.
"What do you call it then?" Marita asked as she turned and looked at his profile.
Sean had no answer for her.
"You call it lying. You lied to me Sean" Marita said in a hurt voice as her tears spilled over.
Sean's guilt was multiplied as he heard the hurt in her voice, then turned and faced her and saw the tears running down her face. "I'm SO sorry, Marita. You know it wasn't my intention to deliberately lie to you" he admitted. "You know that. And you know I love you and would never hurt you".
"When you lied to me, Sean, you hurt me" she said. She was happy to hear him admit what he had done but she was still hurt.
"I am sorry Marita. I mean that, you've got to know I mean it" he said as he looked at her with eyes that were filled with sorrow and regret.
Marita looked into his eyes and knew he was sorry but she was not ready to forgive him yet. The hurt was still too fresh. She got up and walked over to her door.
"Goodnight, Sean" she said as she opened the door.
Sean looked at her in disbelief. She was sending him home alone. Sean stood up and walked to the door. He stopped in front of her and looked at her. She returned his stare and he saw the sadness that he was responsible for putting into those beautiful eyes.
"Marita, please come home. You belong with me. I need you" he begged.
All Marita did was look at him and Sean knew she would not be coming home with him tonight.
"You know she loves you. You did hurt her. Give her time" SH
"I love you, Marita and I am sorry" he said as sadness clouded his eyes.
The two stood there looking into each other eyes, as love and sadness lingered between them.
***********************
Tuesday
Sean had another restless night of sleep. When he opened his eyes, he felt like he had been alone for an eternity. It had only been 1 day and Sean was miserable. He dragged himself out of bed, got dressed and started his day.
Marita had another night of tears. When she opened her eyes, she felt the pain of betrayal. She was heartbroken. Eventually, she pulled herself out of bed and started her day.
When Marita got to work, there was a single rose lying on the desk. A folded note with her name scrawled on it lay next to it. Marita smiled as she remembered how Miss Fisher, their tutor, tried, but to no avail, to teach Sean better penmanship.
"I'm sorry" the note said. A tear escaped down her cheek as those two words conveyed Sean's love. She inhaled the sweet fragrance of the rose before laying the rose down and going to get a vase. She returned to the study and placed the vase on the desk and put the rose in it. However, she still wasn't ready to forgive him.
After Marita ate lunch, she went into the study to finish her accounts for the day. Another rose and another note was waiting for her.
"I love you"
"Forgive him" MM
"I still hurt" MH
At the end of her day, Marita cleared off the desk. As she was about to get up and leave, Lexy came into the study.
"Hi, Marita" she said.
Marita looked up and smiled at Lexy. She had a rose and a note in her hand.
"These are from Sean" Lexy said as she handed them to Marita. "What did he do?"
Marita laughed at Lexy's straightforwardness. If she wanted to know something, she was not afraid to ask.
Marita smiled at her and gave her a look that said 'That's none of your business, honey'. Lexy understood the unspoken rebuke because Sean gave her the same look when she asked him what he had done to Marita.
Lexy stood there with her hands on her hips as Marita opened the note.
"I miss you"
"I miss you too" MH
She put the rose in the vase with the other two and put the note in her side pocket.
"Are you going to stay and eat supper with us?" Sean had instructed her to ask. He was hoping Marita would accept the invitation. He also hoped that being with the family would make her long for their family of two and she would come home.
"No, not tonight Lexy" Marita said as she put her arm around Lexy's shoulders and they walked out of the study.
Both Sean and Marita went to bed miserable.
*******************
Wednesday morning
A rose. A note. "I'm sorry"
Wednesday after lunch
A rose. A note. "I love you"
Wednesday before Marita went to her Pa's
A rose. A note. "I miss you"
********************
"Do you know what's going on between our children?" Ned asked Isaac as they sat down for a drink.
"Nope. I was hoping you would know" Isaac said.
"Marita's seems sad and that's not like her" Ned said.
"I know. When she comes home....." Isaac started.
"Comes home?" Ned interrupted. "What do you mean 'when she comes home'?" he couldn't believe Marita had left Sean.
"Sunday night, she came home and has been there ever since" Isaac informed him.
"So, that explains Sean's behavior. I haven't seen him up at the house and when I do see him, he acts worse than Marita does" Ned said.
Both fathers pondered what could have caused this separation between their children.
******************
Sean sat and waited for Marita to pass by on her way to her father's house. When he saw her coming, he stood and approached her.
"Hey" he said.
"Hi" she said in a very sad voice.
"When are you coming home?" he asked as they walked.
"I don't want to talked about it Sean."
"Please Marita, come home."
When Marita remained silent, Sean's temper surfaced. "WHAT do you want me to do Marita?! I said I was sorry! I don't know what else I can do!"
"There's nothing else you can do"
They continued to walk and when they reached Isaac's house, Sean watched as Marita walked into the house and closed the door, leaving him alone again.
********************
Thursday morning
A rose. A note. "I'm sorry"
Thursday after lunch
A rose. A note. "I love you"
Thursday before Marita went to Aunt Eleanor's
A rose. A note. "I miss you"
"Hi Auntie" Marita said as she walked into her Aunt Eleanor's house. They were going to spend the afternoon filling orders they had received a few days ago.
"Hey, Mo" Auntie said, using Marita's nickname.
Aunt Eleanor noticed Marita's sadness and asked "What's wrong, chile".
"Nothing" Marita said as she gave her aunt a weak smile as she walked over to the table and set her basket of flowers down.
"Well, what's that long face for?"
"Sean and I had a fight" Marita sighed as she sat down.
"'Bout what?" Aunt Eleanor asked.
"He got a loan from the bank without talking to me about it. He just refuses to use the money I earn to help with the tobacco business" Marita said in frustration. "And" she continued as hurt filled her voice, "he lied to me. He let me think he used the money from our business to buy some more crop land when he actually got a loan from the bank."
"Well, baby, men are like that. They think they have to do it all themselves. They think they are less than a man if they take money from a woman" Auntie explained.
"But he LIED to me" Marita said as tears formed in her eyes.
"You think he wanted to lie to you" Auntie said.
"No" Marita admitted.
"So, you wallowin' in self-pity, huh?" Aunt Eleanor guessed.
"He LIED to me, Auntie. And that hurt" Marita insisted.
"So" Auntie smiled, "you wallowin' in hurt".
Marita thought her aunt would support her. "Are you saying I'm wrong for being hurt?!"
"No, chile" Aunt Eleanor patted her hand. "You still love him?".
"YES!" Marita was adamant.
Auntie smiled. "Has he said he was sorry for lyin'?"
"Yes" Marita admitted.
"You believe him?"
"Yes"
"Have you forgiven him?"
"Yes" Marita said as she was beginning to see Aunt Eleanor's point.
"Well, what you sad about? Baby, you caint let the time pass you by while you nurse your hurt. If you know he didn't wanna lie, and you forgave him and you still love him, let him make it up to you. I know he will". Auntie had known Sean since he was a youngun in wetcloths. She also knew how much he loved her niece.
"And he can't make it up to you while you're hiding at Isaac's" Auntie said with a raised brow. Auntie seemed to know everything that went on at the farm.
From Auntie's tone, Marita knew she was about to be chastised. Marita looked at her Aunt and waited for her rebuke.
"Marita, baby, you can't go runnin' back to Isaac every time you and Sean have a fight. He's your husband and you belong with him. You're not a little girl anymore and your place is with him. Don't give the devil place to come in and destroy your marriage. You have to learn how to work out your problems, not run away from them. I know you love that boy and I know you two will work this out. So I suggest you get your butt back to that cabin."
Marita was quiet for the rest of the time she was at Auntie's. Her heart continued to wallow in self-pity and hurt, but her mind thought over Aunt Eleanor's words.
That night, Marita had a restless sleep as she realized that the longer she was away from Sean, the more miserable she became.
To Be Continued........................
