La, la, la, writing some more, la, la, la...Please review (Should I put a quota? No? Yes? I'll think about it) la, la, la...



If You Can Count to Ten


A crack echoed through the night, the group of people glanced around, nervousness evident in their every movement. Ari exhaled a relieved sigh when no reaction was evident in the sleepy inn near the Temple. Then her relief vanished as a deluge of darkness spewed forth from the door and the seal she had struck.

"What the..." Lina demanded whirling around. The others took note of their new surroundings with a mixture of shock and frantic disbelief.

"I don't like this," Gourry declared removing his sword, not the sword of light, but an acceptable substitute.

"This is the test, I think," Ari remarked timidly.

Val snorted with the contention of a young boy and stood there looking bored and arrogant. It would have been a more effective show if his knees hadn't been trembling ever so slightly. He caught Ari's look and sent back one of his own. She flushed in angered annoyance and stuck her tongue out at him; he received her in turn.

She would have continued in much the same vein if a melodramatic and echoing voice hadn't interrupted her, "Who cometh forth to seek the fount of infinite knowledge?"

"Mister Guardian, the Temple doesn't hold infinite knowledge, just a few selected categories that are infinite," Ari quipped smartly. A muted grumbling could be heard and then something smacked the young girl upside the head.

"Hey, you can't hit girls," Gourry cried swinging wildly with his sword. Ari rubbed her abused head and rolled her dark green eyes.

"I'm fine," she told the over protective swordsman and then returned her attention to the guardian. "Can you just ask us the questions and get this over with?"

"You are a little brat aren't you?" the guardian asked sourly. "Fine, then child of Melsay you shall go first. Answer this question or you and all those with you shall wander in this darkness forever."

"Great," Zelgadis muttered under his breath. Amelia and Filia looked close to tears and Gourry had wandered off to fight invisible things with his sword.

"Okay, I'm ready," the girl announced, a look of determination on her young face.

A gong sounded somewhere and gray smoke began to seep up around her feet. She kicked ineffectually at it before giving up. A moment later it disappeared, absorbed into the blackness surrounding them.

"You're first question is this," the disembodied voice declared self-importantly. "What is...one plus one? You have one life line if you need help from another member of your party." The non-existent ground shook as several people collided with the ground.

"Two," Ari answered after picking herself up and dusting off her pants.

"Is that your final answer?" the guardian asked. The girl nodded in apparent irritation. What kind of stupid guardian had the Angels put in place? And what kind of test was this?

"That is correct. Will the next participant step up?"

A slightly ruffled and disgruntled Val strode forth to stand next to Ari. He cast her a haughty glare beneath his aqua bangs, golden eyes filled with bored triumph. Crossing his arms he faced the general direction of the voice.

"Ah, the young ancient dragon," the Guardian murmured, a golden light manifesting before them. "You will now answer my question or face eternal torment along with the rest of your party."

"I thought it was just being lost in here," Amelia cried. "No one said anything about torment. How unjust!"

"Answer or be forsaken." Ari was really becoming annoyed with the guardian and its overly large ego. "What is...two plus two."

"Four," Val replied with bored indifference, apparently he was just as irritated as she.

"Is that your final answer?" the guardian demanded, its voice echoing.

"Yes," Val answered with a yawn, ignoring his mother's shout of, "Go Val!"

"That is correct as well, will the idiot step up?"

Everyone stood there looking around. Gourry was nowhere to be seen, having wandered off before without anyone noticing. Lina bit out a curse and dashed off to find her errant protector. Everyone turned to watch as a blonde streak went flying by swiftly followed by a red one.

"So," began the guardian, "Does anyone have any cards?" Wisely the adventurers ignored it, waiting impatiently for Lina to stop beating the crap out of Gourry and come back.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Lina could be heard yelling. A moment later the two children were nearly bowled over by a projectile Gourry.

"Ow..."

"Are you ready to take the test or be lost in the abyss of pain forever?" the guardian asked sweetly. Shakily the swordsman clambered to his feet and stood there swaying.

"Mommy?"

"Okay...What is..." the guardian said, having decided that adding another pointless pause would create the right amount of tension. "The definition of osmosis?"

* * * *

Poor Gourry, what shall happen to him? How could he possibly know this? How about twelve reviews until the next chapter? So that means only two people have to review and then it'll hit the twelve mark. I'm not cruel, or stupid enough to think that twelve different people are actually reading this, or would review. La, la, la, la.