Chances To Be Given
Chapter 4
Rated: pg13, some swear words in here and a little, only a tinsy bit of blood. nothing serious.

Okay, well, this is going to be a short chapter. I'm in a depressing mood, my friends and I had just had a depressing conversation and everything is so depressing!! my teacher is confusing the hell out of me and will probably fail me!! Anyway, that's one reason the chapter is so short and so fast paced.

Enjoy this really short chapter!
ps: I'm listening to this song, it doesn't really go with the story though. I just thought'd I'd put it in though:) if you've never heard of it, that's ok.

Disclaimer: All characters, plus the song belong to their rightful owners. not mind, clearly everyone knows that all ready but u know.

(Serena's POV)

He didn't go to work today. I woke up and saw him staring out the window. I stared at him for quite a while and memorized his thoughtful face. I didn't realize he had seen me awake and was startled when he swung around and stared straight at me and said, "I'm sorry."
I knew what he was sorry for, I didn't know why though. I didn't want to know. I scooted out of bed, tendrils of hair blocking my face.
"For what?" I asked him innocently, getting up and finding my brush.
"For getting home so late," His voice was quiet and low, it was hard to hear him but I did.

"I realize the way your eyes deceive me
With tender looks, that I must look for in love.
So take away the flowers that you gave me,
And send the kind that you remind me of.

"You're boss kept you late again?" I saw it then, his guilt, his anger, his shame and his fear. They were all right there, out in the open. He never even bothered to hide it.
"No, I can't say that," he turned away from me, as if looking at me, at my form, my shadow…anything that had to do with me would make him crazy.
"So, tell me, why were you so late?" He didn't answer. I was angry, yet at the same time relieved. "Shouldn't you be at work?"
"Yes, but I called in sick." His depression made me feel stronger, braver, somehow.
"But you're not sick,"
"I know that! Don't you think I know that!" the sudden burst of his ranting didn't surprise me at all. Even though Alec was a strong human being, he was still human. His conscious still ruled over him. "What do you want from me, Serena?" he quietly asked.
"What do you want from me?" I asked him. That question that had always been there, waiting to be asked, yearning TO BE asked.
"Everything…" I thought I heard him wrong. How could he need everything from me? When I couldn't even give myself anything? "I want your love, understanding, your smile, your soul, your heart. Everything! I want you all for me!"
EVERYTHING? I mouthed. How could I possibly give him anything at all? His answer had thrown me off balance.
"I can't give you everything, Alec, just like you can't give me everything." I heard his footsteps, and then his arms came around my shoulders.
"Oh, but I can. I'm willing to, Serena, just as long as you give in return."
I was lost, confused. What was wrong with him? Why did he suddenly seem like he needed me to live?


Paper roses, paper roses
Oh how real those roses seem, to me.
But they're only, imitations
Like your imitation love, for me.

"I don't understand," was all I could say in return. In truth, all I could manage to get out. My throat felt like it was burning and my eyes filled with unknown tears.
"Oh, Serena, how could you not! Why are you acting so stupid! You know what I'm talking about!!" He flung me around so that his face was close to mine, his breath burning my face.
"I don't know, Alec…I don't know how to give you everything." Silence followed, I found my eyes were glued to the floor. I knew that his eyes were on my face, trying to get my eyes to look at him. But I was scared.
"No, you just don't want to try. If you hated me, Serena, why did you make me love you?" I was speechless…guilty, scared and motionless for a long time. Until finally, he moved away, his gaze once gain directed outside the window.
"I don't…I don't hate you, Alec."
"Don't, Serena. Don't you dare you lie to me! I'm so tired of it!! I deserve more than you! I deserve to have a better life than you give me! God, I regret the day I ever vowed my soul to you!!" I didn't think his words would hurt at all. But it did, it really did.
"Then why did you?" I asked through gritted teeth.
"Because, Serena, I thought I was saving you from a life of hell."
"A life of hell, Alec! Do you know how happy I was! I was so happy, that if I had died then and there, it wouldn't have mattered at all!"
"DON'T YOU DARE LIE!! So "happy that you could die." All you could do was cry, for God's sake! Like a baby! Like a stupid ass baby!"
"Shut up! Shut up!" It happened so quickly. I didn't mean to yell. His hands suddenly came out of nowhere, and in a flash had found themselves on my face, over and over and over again. I crumbled to the ground, protecting my face with my arms. It didn't help. He grabbed me by the hair and yanked me back up.
"Ah!" He clamped his other hand over my mouth.
"Don't you ever tell me to shut-up! Remember what happened last time, Serena…you don't want me to…" Instantly I shook my head. My tears were flowing freely of their own accord and my body shaking non-stop.
"I thought so," I thought it was over there, that he would let go. Instead, I was suddenly flying in the air, only to have my head smash against the mirror above the dresser. His hand was still clamped over my mouth, my scream muffled and my whimpers silenced. I could only cry harder.
"Oh, Serena…I could've given you everything, I still could. All you have to do is be my girl. All I want is for you to be happy with me. I want your smile to brighten up my days like it used to. I want to touch you everywhere without you cringing against the wall. I want your heart to be fully mine. That's all I want, Serena. All I ever wanted." I couldn't see his face. But I could hear the hunger in his voice. I could feel the lunacy in his mind. Why, why me? That was the only question I wanted answered.


I thought that you would be a perfect lover,
you seem so full of sweetness at the start.
But like a big red rose that's made of paper,
There isn't any sweetness in your heart.


(Third Person POV)

Blood trickled down the soft surface of the mirror, hair stuck to the surface, the tears making it sticky.
"All I ever wanted," Alec repeated again. He looked at the woman his hands held against the mirror. He looked at her hair, her tear-stricken face, and still, he smiled. He let go, dropping her limp body on top of the small drawer. Her hands trying to catch something to grab on as she began sliding off the front. When she could find no holdings, she landed hard on the ground, her limp and sleeping legs unable to support her.
Serena finally let out a sob. Her hands flew up to the right side of her face, where a cut had been made.
She expected to hear an apology from Alec like all the other times this had happened. But this time, she heard none.
"Take off your clothes," Her eyes fluttered up to the man towering over her fragile form.
"Nani…?" she croaked.
"I said, take off your clothes." It suddenly registered to her brain what he intended to do now. And even more than ever, she was scared.
"Oh God, no, Alec please…"

Paper roses, paper roses
Oh how real those roses seem, to me.
But they're only, imitations
Like your imitation love, for me.

"Do it!!?" Serena cowered away from his harsh voice.
'God, he isn't going to do this…not again…please,'
"Alec, listen to yourself. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being stupid. I'm sorry for being…for everything. Please, don't…" She begged him, her eyes showing fear. He only smiled again.
"I'm your husband, you'd think you'd listen for once! You'd think you'd enjoy what I'm about to give you." He grabbed her arm and pulled her up, bringing her lips to land on his and forcefully and painfully kissed her. Serena did not kiss in return, instead, all she wanted to do was get out of there as fast as she could. Her mind raced here and there, trying to figure out the best way to make him listen. She ignored her cries of "RUN!" in her mind. Until she knew it was hopeless, that there was nothing else to do.

Paper roses, paper roses
Oh how real those roses seem, to me.
But they're only, imitations
Like your imitation love, for me."


"Alec no!" Willfully, forcefully, she pushed him back as hard as she could so that he feel backwards, losing his balance. For a second she stared at him and he stared back. Then, she flung the door open and started to run. She didn't get anywhere as a hand wrapped around her ankle.
"Get off me you bastard!! Get off me!!" she kicked and kicked and kicked, when finally he lost his grip and she was free. Again…she started to run.
"You come back here, bitch!!" She did not turn to look back, to see if he had followed her. She just kept on running, until she reached the elevators. Until the elevator door shut and she was alone. She cried there, her body curled in a ball at the corner. Her face still bleeding as the cut deepened. Her body weakening as fear fully seeped in. Her soul crying out to die as she felt loneliness wrapped its arms around her.
"God, why me?"
"Main Floor," the elevator announced. Serena did not get up to leave. She was so tired…she was so weak…she was losing a lot of blood, from one deep cut. She was falling fast.
The elevator door opened, revealing the main floor, empty except for one person.
"Sheesh…you'd think those girls would just give up all ready. Why me…Serena?"
Darien stopped dead in his tracks. "No…it couldn't be…" It took him a quick step to get to her and gather her in his arms. Her head rested back on his shoulders, and his worst fear was revealed.
"Serena…Oh God, what happened?" He quickly pressed his floor and closed the elevator doors. He lifted her up and supported her every way he could, until finally they were there.
He fumbled for his keys in his pockets, Serena still in his arms. Finally, he found them, and without so much as a problem (miracle isn't it?) he opened the doors and shut it behind him. He ran to his couch and gently laid her down, careful not to hurt her anymore.
"Oh God, Serena, you better not be dead!" He whispered to himself. He placed his hand over her nose and felt it, the gush of air coming in and out. He sighed, relieved. Instantaneously, he grabbed a clean cloth, boiled some water and began tending to her cut on her face. He cringed at the sight of her blood flowing easily from the open wound. He saw something glint as he turned on the lights. Carefully, he took out a piece of mirror.
"That bastard…God, Serena…" His hands curled into a fist. And for the first time since Serena left, he cried. In an hour, he had stitched her cut close, remembering all his training and getting all the proper materials. And then he waited. He waited. And he waited. Until, finally, sleep took over him.


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